Why boyz give Bo Ryan and Steve Spurrier a pass but HATE LeBron! "The Fair"

"It ain't nothin' playboy!" 

Michelle Obama once said, "We learned about honesty and integrity - that the truth matters... that you don't take shortcuts or play by your own set of rules... and success doesn't count unless you earn it fair and square." Robert Frost, the famous poet, gave it to us like this, "A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." Then Chinua Achebe, Nigerian novelist, poet and professor, hit a boy in the dome when he spit, "What a country needs to do is be fair to all its citizens - whether people are of a different ethnicity or gender." 

Well playas...I feel the same way ole boy does about treatin' ALL citizens fairly regardless of their gender and ethnicity. Earlier this week Wisconsin head basketball coach Bo Ryan upped and quit on his team in the middle of their season with a record of 7-5. Earlier this football season a dun named Steve Spurrier bounced on the University of South Carolina football team with a record of 2-6. However, NOBODY called them quitters nor did they criticize them for walkin' away from their obligations as a coach. However, LeBron James in 2010 waited until he'd completely fulfilled his obligation to the Cleveland Cavaliers by playin through his current contract to announce that he was "Taking his talents to South Beach." And he suddenly became public enemy No.1! Why is that bruh? 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Why is it that duns like Bo Ryan and Steve Spurrier can quit on their teams and  universities in the middle of the season and not catch heat for it? How is it possible for people to think that it's permissible for a boy to sit in some kid's living room and tell their parents that they want their kid to come play for them when they're gonna bounce if they're losin'. They didn't tell them that playa. 

Their entire career as a coach they've told kids that it's about competin' and never givin' up. It's about perseverance and hard work. Always bein' there for your teammate, etc. However, as soon as the bottom falls out of the season the very dun that taught them that bounces. And more importantly, when they bounced the world said that it's completely okay! 

However, when LeBron decided AFTER the season was over and AFTER his contract was up to leave Cleveland boyz hated him because of the WAY he did it. There are even duns out here that hate him even more because he left Miami AFTER he fulfilled the obligation of that contract too!! But Bo Ryan and Steve Spurrier and throw in ole dull Bobby Knight too. Why? Because that dun bounced on Texas Tech when he started takin' it on the chin in the middle of the season. 

Why is it that NOBODY tripped when these cats left, universities, fan bases and most importantly, players hangin'? People to this day hate LeBron because he left Cleveland. Now is that fair? I need to stop lookin' for fair because Big Momma always said, "The fair only comes once a year! So get over it." Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say

2) Dun: the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Bounce: verb - to leave

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia 

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The caption under the photo isn't real but it's REAL talk! 

Why Jahlil Okafor CAN'T be new to this foolishness or babysitters bruh! "Actin' A Fool"

Jay

"What we gettin' into tonight?  I'm lookin' for some foolishness!"

Hunter S. Thompson, the well-known journalist and author, once said, "There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge." Michael Leunig, the Australian cartoonist and poet, gave it to us like this, "The insatiable need for heartless power and ruthless control is the telltale sign of an uninitiated man - the most irresponsible, incompetent and destructive force on earth." Then Orson Welles shut the buildin' down when he spit, "I've spent most of my mature life trying to prove that I'm not irresponsible." 

Well playas...Jahlil Okafor is spendin' all of his immature life provin' to boyz that he's unbelievably outta control or just flat out crazy bruh! This dun has been involved in so much foolishness within the first full month of the season that the 76ers have now assigned a 24 hour security guard to him. He just got into the well publicized scrap with a boy outside of a Boston night club this past Thursday. However, that joint followed an October incident where a boy pulled a gun on that dun because he was talkin' crazy to him outside of a Philly night club. And he was pulled over for doin' 108mph in a 40  bruh! 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I realize that this cat is only 19 years old and he won't turn 20 until December 15. However, he's what we call a PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE now bruh! If he decided to leave school early to go to work then he's gotta act like a grown freakin' man at this point! Now all of a sudden because this fool doesn't know how to act the Sixers have to pay some dun to follow this knucklehead around to make sure he doesn't get into trouble. Wheredeydodatat? 

Like the old timers would always say, "He didn't just start actin' a fool bruh! He been actin' a fool." If he's showin' his rectum now! And that's the edited version. He was showin' that joint at Duke last year. Coach K "probably" had a trainer or grad assistant followin' that dun to class, eatin' with him and wipin' his freakin' butt whenever he went to the toilet. No way does a dun just completely lose his mind and start actin' a fool without warnin'! Naw playa, Coach K kept ole boy in check or just kept him away from the media. But that fool has been a fool pimpin'! 

He's only been in the NBA for a freakin' month bruh!!! And he's got a babysitter already!!! You would think that if a boy was playin' on the worst team in the league that he would be tryin' to fly under the radar. Oh, I forgot to mention that he got caught with a fake ID in October too. He can't help himself playboy! He's  like Pookie in New Jack City, "It be callin' me and callin' me!" 

Hey Jahlil? Why don't you concentrate on helpin' your team win "A" game bruh! Not several at this point, just win one for a boy! I mean a real one bruh! Beatin' the dull Lakers don't count! Stop runnin' around showin' out because you've got some bread now and act like you wanna be in the NBA. 

I can remember years ago hearin' Donnie Walsh say that there are two types of players in the NBA bruh! Those that love the game of basketball and those that love what the game of basketball can do for them. At this point playa Jahlil is lookin' like the dun that loves what the game of basketball can do for him. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus:  
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for, "Who does that?" 
4)  Pimpin': noun - the person that I'm passionately tryin' to get my point across to. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport

The caption under the photo isn't but it's REAL talk! 

Why Glen Rice Jr. has to be one of the DUMBEST human beings alive bruh! "Split Wigs"

"Yeah...I can be that stupid bruh!" 

Marcus Tillius Cicero, the ancient Roman philosopher, once said, "Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error." Nia Vardalos, the famous actress, gave it to us like this, "You only get one life so you might as well make it a happy one, and that's why I tend to just jump into things. I'm sort of a fearless idiot that way." Then Robert Webb, the English comedian, spit some genius O.G. knowledge to a boy when he dropped, "Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots."

Well playas...there's certainly one idiot that will try to act like he didn't know that he was a thug until he literally got popped twice in Atlanta on Sunday. Former Washington Wizard and NBA D-league player now lookin' for a job hooper Glen Rice Jr., son of former NBA star Glen Rice was shot outside of T.I.'s new restaurant Scales 925 on Sunday. Here's the deal bruh, not only was this dun shot in the leg in the mist of squabbin' with a boy after they were thrown out of the spot for gettin' into it inside. He was then arrested for havin' 240 grams of weed in his backpack left at the scene with his freakin' passport in it. And the surveillance cameras picked up that fool throwin' a stolen gun (registered to a boy in Chattanooga) down a stairwell as he was tryin' to bounce. 

Hold on a second bruh! That dun had darn near a half pound of weed with a passport in the SAME bag! I guess if he lost the weed he wanted boyz to make sure they knew who to return it to or thank. 

Let me run that back playa just in case you didn't pick all of that up. This fool gets into an argument inside the joint, gets kicked out and instead of just goin' to the crib he continues with the foolishness outside knowin' that he 's got a freakin' half pound of weed on him, a burner and his passport. IDIOT!!!!

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! How stupid can one individual be bruh? He already doesn't have a freakin' job because he can't stay in the NBA or the even the D-League for that matter. He was drafted in 2012 in the second round by the Washington Wizards after he got kicked off of the team at Georgia Tech for bein' an idiot and hangin' out with an idiot. 

He was pulled over after leavin' a spot were shots had been fired. His boy, Steven Pryor, was in the passenger seat and admitted to police that he shot his gun but insisted that it was an accident. So they popped him for dischargin' a firearm while under the influence. They also charged Rice with essentially bein' an idiot and havin' a fool in the car with him but technically chargin' him with permittin' unlawful operatin' a vehicle.  Well...they had to put something on the report right? As a result he was kicked off of the team at Georgia Tech. 

So fastfoward to Sunday night, guess who the dun was that swooped Glen up in the Porsche after he got out there tryin' to be Billy Bad Ass and got shot? Steven Pryor! Glen Rice is still hangin' out with idiots bein' an idiot! Oh and by the way, embarrassin' the heck out of his old man. And that's the edited version. What did your old dude ALWAYS tell you before you left the house bruh? "Don't go out there and embarrass the family name! My name is all I got!" I know that dun has heard that a million times over but he keeps on actin' a fool anyway. Why? Because he's an idiot! 

Now he may not be good enough to play in the NBA or even the D-League at this point because the dun has been on several D-League rosters. If the cat could just stay out of trouble for 20 minutes he could play overseas, probably. He could try to pull a Juwanna Mann and play in the WNBA but he'd get into a fight out there and get his wig pulled off or split dependin' upon who he tries to step to. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) O.G.: noun - original gangsta or in layman's terms the older yet wiser hustler that mentors the young cats comin' up on the ways of the streets. 
3) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
4) Squabbin': verb - to all out fight with a boy. 
5) Juwanna Mann: noun - a movie about a dun that got kicked out of the NBA but refused to give up his dream of playin' pro ball. So he dressed in drag and played in the women's league. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Members Only (Why Golden State has boyz wearin' baggys, penny loafers and knit ties this mornin')

"Hey Jay we jump shot our way to a title bruh! I'm just sayin'!"

Derek Jeter once said, “I love it when people doubt me. It makes me work harder to prove them wrong.” Dr. Seuss spit some wisdom to a boy when he said, Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and what enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” Then Malcolm X broke it down where even the simple minded could understand it when he said, “I have more respect for a man who lets me know where he stands, even if he’s wrong. Than the one who comes up like an angel and is nothing but a devil.”
Well playas…Brother Malcolm has to respect me this mornin’ because I’m here to admit that I was dead wrong about the Golden State Warriors! A jump shootin’ team could win the NBA title and they proved it on Tuesday night by beatin’ the Cleveland LeBron’s 105-97. I’m eatin’ crow today because I said at the onset of the Finals that Cleveland would win this joint in 6. Now I will admit that my prediction was made with Kyrie in the line-up but that’s just how it goes and I’m not makin’ excuses.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! I did say that if Cleveland had a shot of winnin’ this joint after Kyrie went down they’d have to win both Game 3 and 4 at the crib. If they lost Game 4, which they did, they were shot and they were. However, I never believed in “El Debarge” because early on Delly was puttin’ that thang on him and he shrunk early only on in this series.

I kept sayin’ that Steph wasn’t gonna bring light skinned back and this dun won a championship on me. So I guess light skin is in for the rest of the summer. You curly head cats better take advantage of it while you can because football season is right around the corner and chicks are gonna forget all about you come September. We’ll let you have a late 70’s and early 80’s reunion on the house because Steph won the ship.

So now we’ve gotta listen to nothin’ but Switch, DeBarge and Drake until September 1^st to celebrate light skin brothers winnin’ the ship. I’ll even pull out the Members Only jacket, my penny loafers, baggys and knit ties for you. But on September 1^st it’s all gotta go away.

"Just 'til September 1st bruh? C'mon playa!"

On some real talk though, give the Warriors their props! Steve Kerr took over where Mark Jackson left off and built a well-oiled machine. And I don’t wanna hear any idiots sayin’ that he won a title with someone else’s players. That’s the dumbest statement ever made. You always hear some idiot sports writer or commentator sayin’ that foolishness. No…he won a title because he coached the team he was given. He put in the work, made the adjustments when he needed to, won 67 regular season games and won the games in the playoffs necessary to win an NBA Championship! Nothin’ but props to Steve Kerr!

Because of his ability to get duns to buy into the TEAM concept they won a title in Oakland for the first time in 40 years. Nothin’ but respect for a boy that can do that in year one.

I’m not gonna lie bruh, I’m pissed that they didn’t do the right thing and give LeBron the Finals MVP award because there wasn’t a dun alive or that has ever lived that deserved it more than he did win or lose. Yeah, I know that boyz were sayin’ that it would be awkward to give him the MVP in a losin’ effect. And I know that normally the Finals MVP is a cat on the winnin’ team because that’s who typically plays better. However, not in these Finals playboy.

LeBron was literally bullyin’ these boyz from start to finish and showed that he was the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER which means of GREATEST WORTH by the simple fact that he had the Cosby Kids and Arnold and Willis Drummond in Game 6 of the NBA Finals against one of the best TEAMS in NBA history. Stop it! You sound crazy even arguin’ with me on that.

Now I did say that if LeBron doesn’t get the Finals MVP then Andre Iguodala should win that joint because he completely changed the complexity of the series. He was ballin’ on both ends of the floor and was the most consistent player in the series outside of LeBron. The simple minded will say, “How can you say that he played great defense against LeBron when ole boy averaged darn near 37 points per game.” First of all Stevie Wonder, nobody can stop LeBron. However, he made plays when he needed to and he made LeBron work for those buckets and by the time late in the fourth quarter rolled around ole boy was spent. Yes, if they didn’t give the MVP to LeBron I’m cool with Ig’s takin’ that joint to the crib.

No excuses from me playboy! A jump shootin’ team proved me wrong and I’m cool with it because up next it football season! Here’s my diehard baseball fan tryin’ to correct me. “Hold on a second bruh, we’ve got baseball goin’ on! It’s America’s past-time.” Like I said pimpin’, up next football season! Baseball is like watchin’ paint dry in a truck stop restroom in the middle of nowhere. When that joint is on I’m ready to pull my freakin’ small intestine out and strangle myself.

Pray for us havin’ to sit through the next month and a half with nothin’ to watch or talk about. Well… I guess I’ve gotta just sit in the cut and wait for some fool athlete to get in trouble because you already know that they’re gettin’ in line this mornin’ to commit some foolishness! Thanks NBA for a great season and unbelievable playoffs. Well…except for the dull conference championships. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) El DeBarge: noun – Steph Curry. I referred to ole boy as El DeBarge because he was light skinned with curly hair. For all or you cats that don’t know who El is, he was VERY popular R&B singer in the early 80’s that all of the black women went nuts over. Durin’ that time dark skinned brothers weren’t in. All black women wanted was a light skinned cat with curly hair until Jordan changed the game. Lol!!
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. Whoever I’m talkin’ about.
3) Crib: noun – one’s home, the flat, the spot, the place where a boy sleeps at night. C’mon bruh! Keep up with me.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!    

Blind Mice (How these playa hatin' media types are upset with LeBronfor keepin' it 100)

"You want me to lie to you bruh or tell you the truth?"

Joe Namath once said, “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” Norman Vincent Peale, the author of ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ gave it to us like this, “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” Then the big homie, Marcus Garvey, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.”

Well playas…LeBron James is confident in his abilities as a basketball player and obviously doesn’t have a problem tellin’ a boy that. After Game 5 of the NBA Finals some media-type cat asked ole boy was there less pressure on him in this year’s NBA Finals because the level of expectation was lower for him to win because of all of the injuries around him. LeBron responded by tellin’ this dun, “I feel confident because I’m the best player in the world. It’s that simple.”

That was on Sunday night and I spent the entire day on Monday listenin’ to playa hatin’ media-types tellin’ boyz that LeBron was arrogant and cocky because he had the nerve to say it. I’m in this media situation and boyz complain when a cat just gives them a standard answer or what we call a ‘canned’ answer. So now when a dun gives them an honest answer they’re freakin’ mad at him for it. It’s like bein’ around some school girls bein’ catty.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Bein’ arrogant or cocky is when a boy tells you something that isn’t true! If he wasn’t the best player in the world then you could have beef with him. But if you know that he’s the best player in the world and I know that he’s the best player in the world and Stevie Wonder, Helen Keller, Blind Mellow Jelly and those three mice that live down the street knows that he’s the best player in the world. Then why wouldn’t he know that he’s the best player in the world.

It’s the purple elephant standin’ in the room scratchin’ his butt but boyz wanna act like he’s not standin’ there with his pants down. That’s like Beyoncé’ or Halle Berry tellin’ a boy that they know that they're fine. If they said, “You don’t have to tell me that I’m fine bruh! I already know that!” Who’s got the nerve to have an attitude because they know that they’re fine?

Hell, chicks walkin’ around in the real world that are fine know they’re fine bruh! If everybody they run into on a daily basis tells them how fine they are then after a while you don’t have to tell them that. And if you’ve been kissin’ their butts for 12 years tellin’ them how fine they are then how are you gonna get an attitude when they tell you that they’re fine?

So if you’ve been tellin’ this dun since he was 16 that he was “The Chosen One” and you put him on the cover of Sports Illustrated to tell the world that. Then you named him “King James” before he ever won anything. Don’t get it twisted playa, it was the media that named him “The Chosen One” and “King James!” Then he had the unmitigated gall to show up and prove it. Now you’ve got an attitude because he believes it? Wheredeydodatat? 

How on earth do you expect a boy to be humble when you're walkin' around callin' him "The King!" See what ole boy did when he said it was make other cats feel insecure about who they were and they didn't like it. Boyz started lookin' in the mirror at their individual skill sets in their particular professions and hated what they saw. 

Real cats with crazy confidence like me didn't have a problem with him sayin' it because I would walk into a room, say the same thing and wouldn't think twice about apologizin' for it. When I put #thebestdresedmaninmedia at the end of my joints I mean it! I haven't ran across a boy yet that has proven me wrong and I don't care that you may not like that I  said it. 

Let me put it where the goats can get it playboy. If you know that you're the best every now and then it's gonna jump out of your mouth. Why? Because Mathew 12:34 says, "Out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks." Do I need to say more bruh?  

If Bill Gates said he was the richest man in America would you get mad at him? He ain't lyin'!! He just said what you've been sayin' but guess what pimpin'? LeBron has been thinkin' it since he was 10 years old. Because people that are great believed it before you ever thought about it. He just finally admitted that he feels the same way. 

What boyz don't like is that he's grown up in this Finals and he's no longer the passive cat that everybody hated anyway. He understands now that it's all on him and that has forced him out of the passive mindset. You're gonna hate him anyway so he's gonna tell you how he really feels regardless of how you feel about it playa. When he starts lyin' then you can check him.

If he’s not the best player in the world then who is bruh? So if he is, then why do you have an attitude? You can’t be cocky when you’re tellin’ a boy the truth! And let’s keep this real playboy, in order to be great you’ve got to be somewhat delusional. You’ve got to believe in yourself before anybody else will. So if a boy tells you that he’s the best and goes out every day and proves it. Then you can’t have beef with him. Stop bein’ petty and do you freakin’ job.

Cats have been tellin’ boyz how great they were for years and you had no problem with it. Muhammad Ali was tellin’ boyz that he was the greatest 50 years ago and you hated him for it. Now you’re callin’ him the greatest. Duns like Deion Sanders, Revis Island and Richard Sherman will tell a boy in a minute that they are the best in the world at their positions. You can’t be the best football player in the world because the positions are too specialized for a boy to play every position. So it’s restricted by position playa.

LeBron is doin’ what no other basketball player in the history of the game is doin’ right now. He’s playin’ in the Finals with Miss McGillicuddy’s class! If he’s not the best player in the world then who is? He’s an All-Time Great! No player in history has ever put up the numbers in the Finals that he’s puttin’ up. No player in history has played all five positions and guarded all every night. Boyz wanna holla Magic but Magic didn’t do it every night playa. He did it one time playa in Game 6 of the NBA Finals in 1980! This cat has no choice but to do it EVERY night and sometimes he’s playin’ multiple positions on a single possession. Yes pimpin’, he’s the best player in the world. So stop hatin’ and do your freakin’ job!

So if that dun tells you that he’s the best player in the world just agree with him and keep it movin’! Don’t waste our time playa hatin’ him and you know that he’s tellin’ you the truth . Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. Whoever I’m talkin’ about bruh.
3) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for, “Who does that?”
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!

Hope Solo (Why LeBron should be the Finals MVP win or lose bruh)

"Really bruh?"

Douglas Adams, the English writer, once said, “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, the 17^th century Dutch tradesman and scientist, gave it to us like this, “Whenever I found out anything remarkable, I have thought it my duty to put down my discovery on paper, so that all ingenious people might be informed thereof. Then Hermann Hesse, the Swiss poet, novelist and painter, spit fire when he rocked this joint, “Every man is more than just himself, he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world’s phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again.”

Well playas…I completely agree with ole boy if we’re talkin’ about Steph Curry and the Golden State Warriors. Steph is more than just himself because he’s got a gang of cats in the ride ready to scrap EVERY night! So when he puts up 37 points, grabs 7 rebounds and throws 4 dimes he’s not out there butt naked tryin’ to win that joint. The MVP and Co. are now just one win away from capturin’ their first NBA Championship in 40 years after knockin’ down Game 5 104-91 over the Cavs.

However, if you’re LeBron James that quote doesn’t apply playboy because this dun is out here butt naked with the hospital gown wide open in the back! This man is just himself because when he pulls up there’s NOBODY else in the ride.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! This has been one of the most excitin’ NBA Finals I’ve seen in a long time bruh! But on paper it should have been a sweep. You’ve got the best team in the league with the “so-called MVP” that goes 10 deep easy playin’ against a dun drivin’ a Smart car with a busted tail light on a donut.

Why do I say “so-called MVP?” Because the MVP means of Greatest Worth bruh! It’s been clear all season long that the cat that is of greatest worth has been LeBron James. It’s not even close who the MVP is and if you didn’t see it durin’ the regular season it’s bent over takin’ a squat in the middle of the floor at this point.

I was listenin’ to Jeff Van Gundy Sunday mornin’ before Game 5 and he said, “If you took LeBron off of this current Cavs roster they would be the worst team in the NBA.” He went on to say, “They would win 15 games.” This is from a cat that has been in and around the NBA for more than two decades.

However, the dun in the Smart car has them in the NBA Finals scrapin’! I’m not sure what you were watchin’ last night but I saw the cat playin’ by himself take Golden State to the brink. The score was not indicative of the battle that took place at the Oracle last night pimpin’. This game wasn’t decided until the 2 minute mark when a boy is shot physically.

This cat put up a triple-double and not just a 10, 10 and 10 joint. He blasted these cats for 40 points, 14 rebounds and 11 dimes on 44 minutes. J.R. Smith looked like he had come to play in the first half with he dropped 14 in the kitty. But he disappeared into the toilet for the entire second half with the runs. Tristen Thompson came through with a side of greens with 19 points and 10 rebounds and Shumpert came through with an open 2-liter of Diet Coke and 10 points.

While boyz were waitin’ for Steph to show up all types of cats were jumpin’ out of the ride. Draymond had that sticky-icky with 16 points, Ig’s came out of the passenger side bussin’ with 14, Leonadro was on the roof like the American Sniper with 13 and Klay kicked in the back door of the joint with 12. Even Harrison Barnes unloaded his ole dull .22 with 8 points. I had to say his whole name because otherwise, you wouldn’t know who I was talkin’ about.

Golden State now goes up 3-2 in the series with the joint goin’ back to Cleveland on Tuesday night. The fact that the Cavs are still playin’ is remarkable. Well, let me correct myself bruh. The fact that LeBron is still playin’ is remarkable. This is the freakin’ NBA! Not Uncle Willie’s Ghetto Little League and Rim Shop where all you get is a t-shirt to play in and they tell everybody to buy some black shorts. But there’s always a dun on the team with some grey or blue shorts because his brother’s team wore that color last year. A boy wants to act like his momma can’t afford to buy some more short this year but he’s got on a fresh Jordan’s and talkin’ about gettin’ the next joints that comes out.

On some real talk, regardless of what happens in this series, Lebron should be the MVP win or lose. I know that typically you’ve gotta win the Ship to win the MVP but it would be highway robbery to give the Finals MVP to anyone other than him.

Now for all of you simple minded individuals that just wanna argue. I know that LeBron doesn't have a shot at winnin' the MVP if he doesn't win because of what they traditionally do. But that doesn't make it right. It's like Jordan not havin' at a minimum of 10 league MVP's at the crib. I know what boyz are gonna do if Golden State wins and it will be highway freakin' robbery. I'm just sayin'! 

But if we're gonna be real they really could give it to him today because Steph has only shown flashes of greatness durin’ this series bruh. And on some REAL talk, Iguodola is the Warriors MVP durin’ this series not Steph.

Yeah he exploded down the stretch but that’s only after his homeboys did the damage for 3 quarters in Game 5. I can’t hate on Steph because he’s the best shooter this league has EVER seen. But that dun has pulled some disappearin’ acts durin’ these Finals. I’m just sayin’! No way does a boy like Delly shut you down at any point. It’s unacceptable! Not if you’re the MVP and the best shooter the world has ever seen. I’m sorry playa but you can’t excuse that.

When a boy puts up 2 triple-doubles and freakin’ scores at least 40 points 4 times in 5 games; well…he scored 39 in one joint but this is Ghetto Math 101 and we’re roundin’ up. He’s the MVP win or lose playin’ with the Cosby Kids and Arnold Drummond in the Finals and pushin’ these cats to the brink. He's literally Hope Solo out there. Like I keep sayin’ you’re witnessin’ history with this cat! Up next, Game 6 in Cleveland. Don’t be surprised if there’s a Game 7 on Friday! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit Fire: verb – to say something of importance
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about.
3) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
4) Sticky-icky: noun – that good stuff. Whatever is good to you playa.
5) Bussin’: verb – shootin’
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!     

What? (How Stephen A. asked probably the dumbest question in the history of sports media)

"What chu talkin' bout Willis?"

After Game 4 at the “Q” I ran into Albert Einstein and the big homie Martin Luther King Jr. sittin’ at a café arguin’ about the stupidity of boyz out here. Ole Albert broke out and said, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” Brother Martin asked a boy to carefully hold his glass of Hennessey and said, “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Then Albert looked at him like a boy just stepped on his shoes at the club and shouted, “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

Well playas…most of the time I expect idiot sports fans to say something stupid because 9 out of 10 times they’re only lookin’ out for their best interest. But when cats that get paid to talk sports and give their so-called “expert” opinions and they say something stupid that’s where I gotta draw the line playboy.

After Game 4 of the NBA Finals Stephen A. Smith was on the broadcast with the homie Michael Wilbon and he asked why the Cavaliers didn’t take LeBron through the concussion protocol after he split his head open on the fall into the camera. And that dun was heart attack serious bruh! Now I know that some clown in the truck told him to go ahead and say it so he did. However, even if you were thinkin’ it, it was stupid to say out loud. And if the dun in the truck told you to go for it, you knew better.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! If LeBron would have gotten up and told a boy that he was Jesus and all 12 disciples, Mary’s stepfather and Joseph’s Sunday school teacher he wasn’t comin’ out of that game bruh! He could have jumped up and told them that he was Prince Akeem from “Coming To America” or Batman himself and he was gonna play! Do you hear me? Unless he had brain matter drippin’ out of his head he wasn’t comin’ out of that game.

We’re talkin’ about the Cleveland Cavaliers bruh! From Cleveland, Ohio! Yeah that CLEVELAND!! Not Cleveland, Mississippi! The city that hasn’t seen a championship since 1964 and you’re askin’ about a boy takin’ a concussion protocol test? I wanna see the dun that would have asked LeBron, the coachin’ and trainin’ staff or ole dull Dan Gilbert himself about takin’ a concussion protocol test. He would have gotten a concussion, a heart transplant and a dialysis appointment foolin’ around with these cats. A concussion protocol test? What?

"Man...that didn't make no sense! Think bruh!"

Unless that dun is dyin’ out there LeBron is playin’! He’s the only hope they’ve got of keepin’ this thing in the road playa. So I don’t know what Stephen A. was on Thursday night or who he was sittin’ next to and got a contact but he needs to change his seat for Game 5.

I know boyz gotta stir it up sometimes bruh but that wasn’t it playa. Askin’ asinine questions just to get these other cats goin’ isn’t the look you wanna have pimpin’! If LeBron walks out of the hotel tomorrow with his shoes on the wrong feet and his pants on inside out speakin’ Portuguese that dun’s gone play. Stop it! You sound crazy and stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person that I’m talkin’ about, dude, guy, girl, etc. It’s non-gender specific.
2) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Grown Man Business (How Iguodola paid the light, gas & rent & still played the numbers)

"What else you need me do to tonight playa?"

Horatio Nelson, the 18^th century British flag officer, once said, “Desperate affairs require desperate measures.” Mark Twain started trippin’ when he said this, “Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” Then Heinz Guderian, a German general durin’ World War II, brought some sense back to the conversation when he spit, “There are no desperate situations, there are only desperate people.”

Well playas…the Golden State Warriors ran off into the “Q” on Thursday night as desperate as a crack head askin’ to borrow your momma’s car and her VCR. They came into the joint down 2-1 in the series completely understandin’ that no team in the history of the NBA Finals has ever gone down 3-1 and won a championship. So Steve Kerr became a mad scientist, changed the line-up, went small and went to work on the Cavs beatin’ them 103-82.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Ole boy started Andrew Iguodola and it was like puttin’ prescription glasses on a cocked eyed cat in the club. They could instantly see everything and he clearly was the difference maker. Ig’s hit these boyz for 22 points and grabbed 8 rebounds while lockin’ down the King in the fourth quarter holdin’ a boy to nothin’ down the stretch. That’s what the old timers called Grown Man Business bruh!

With Kerr realizin’ that they were gettin’ mad handled for 3 games he made the ultimate adjustment and it saved the Warriors . They sacrificed the glass for speed and finally got into transition unlike they’ve been able to do for the first 3 joints. They got 11 fast break points to the Cavs 2. That may not seem like a lot to the naked eye but trust me playa that allowed them to finally play their game. Grown Man Business!

Kerr understood that if I can make these boyz run they’ll run out of gas! After all pimpin’, they’re human! You could see down the stretch that boyz were gassed and their legs were shot. No legs no shots! Literally! You already knew that Delly was gonna cave in at some point durin’ that game. He spent the freakin’ night in the hospital on IV’s after Game 3!! The Cavs have been brilliant for 3 games and slowin’ the pace and keepin’ Golden State from runnin’ has been the key. But not in Game 4 bruh!

For a normal human being 20 points, 12 rebounds and 8 assists sounds great for a boy but not for LeBron durin’ this series bruh! He was 20 points under his average and unfortunately, that dun’s got to put up 40 errr-night to give these cats a chance at winnin’.

And will somebody PLEASE tell me what team J.R. Smith is playin’ for? If that dun isn’t foulin’ boyz at the most inopportune times in Games 2 and 3 lookin’ like he’s point shavin’. As a matter of fact, check his wire transfers over the last 72 hours. Then in Game 4 he couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat in the middle of the Lake Erie. That dun was 2 for 12 from the field and 0 for 8 from downtown.

Golden State walked in from the word go and started takin’ lunch money and sneakers back. Both Steph and Ig’s dropped off 22 apiece, Draymond Green finally woke up from the dead and loaned a boy 17 points. Even ole dull Harrison Barnes came through Big Momma’s house with 14. When multiple cats are clickin’ and LeBron is 20 points under his series average it’s a problem playboy! Grown Man Business!

You know how when you were a shorty growin’ up in the hood and all the O.G.’s would tell the young cats hangin’ out at the corner store, “Hey young bloods y’all need to get outta here cuz it’s about to go down.” Some rival cats from another hood have just shown up and they don’t wanna have to explain to your moms that you got caught up in the foolishness. So they just made you leave. That was Golden State in Game 4 bruh! “Hey young bloods, y’all need to get outta here cuz it’s about to go down!” Grown Man Business!

Like I’ve been tellin’ you boyz, the Cavs needed to win Game 4 desperately because they don’t have the man power to go 7 games with these boyz. If they could have gone back to the Bay up 3-1 they would have been straight. Now it’s a problem and really some GROWN MAN BUSINESS! Now these boyz have to go back to Oak-town win 2 game out of 3 instead of havin’ to win 1 out of 3.

Unless J.R. Smith stops acceptin’ wire transfers in the middle of the night, Delly stops crampin’, Shumpert gets a 2015 haircut and LeBron can score 40+ points, grab 16 rebounds, throw 18 dimes and log 47 minutes for the next three ball games they’re in trouble! Call a spade a spade, kick a bear when he’s down and keep it real with a playa. These cats are in trouble right now bruh! What I keep sayin’? It’s Grown Man Business! Unfortunately, the Cavs don’t have enough grown men to play 7 games even if they win Game 6 back in Cleveland. Big props to Ig’s for payin’ the rent, the car note, the lights and gas and still havin’ enough to run the numbers over at Lil’ Ronnie BBQ joint.

But if LeBron can pull this off we need to start checkin’ his DNA bruh! Because he ain’t human! And that would be some REAL Grown Man Business! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Grown Man Business: verb phrase – to be able to take care of business when everything is on the line.
2) Dun: noun – The person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc.
3) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: @jaygravesreport
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Loadin' Dock (Why LeBron keeps remindin' boyz that they shipped the MVPto the wrong address)

Steph: "C'mon dawg! Y'all got a boy out here lookin' bad bruh!"
LeBron: "Boot Up playa!"

Les Brown, the motivational speaker, once said, “If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.” Joe Namath pulled off his mink coat and kept his shades on when he said, “When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.” Then Deborah Norville, the TV anchor and journalist shut the buildin’ down when she spit this at a boy, “When you’re true to who you are, amazing things happen.”

Well playas…amazing things keep happenin’ because LeBron is bein’ true to himself and bein’ the beast that he is. I keep tellin’ you boyz that we’ve NEVER seen a player with this type of all-around skill set in the history of the freakin’ game but you won’t listen. In three Finals games he’s literally taken the best team in the league and completely dismantled them bruh. On Tuesday night he led the Cavs or should I say the Cosby Kids to a 96-91 win over Golden State to take a 2-1 series lead.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! This dun put up 40 points, 12 rebounds and threw 8 dimes at a boy like it was loose change. Don’t get it twisted playa, he’s ownin’ these cats from the Bay Area. In a Game 1 overtime loss he hit ‘em up for 44, 8 and 6 playin’ 48 minutes! In Game 2 he got at them for 39,16 and 11 playin’ 50 minutes and in Game 3 you saw the numbers and he played 46 minutes!

So for all of you simple minded individuals, in 3 Finals games against what duns have been callin’ the best team in the NBA he’s scored 123 points (1st All-Time) and played 142 minutes out of a possible 154! And for all of you Jordan fans watchin' Space Jam for the 126th time, rockin' the tagless Hanes Underwear, wearin’ the latest pair of sneakers that he keeps re-makin’ and tellin’ your delusional butt that they’re a must have, the best Mike’s ever done in a three game Finals stretch was 117 points which is 4th All-Time behind Rick Barry (122 points) and Jerry West (118 points). Why did I mention that? Because some clown in the barber will ask, “Well, how does that stake up to Jordan?” So there it is playa.

Then the next thing out of his mouth will be, “Well Jordan was 6-0 in the Finals!” Well, he SHOULD have been 6-0 Finals genius. He showed up with the best coach, the best 3-point shooter, the best wing man and defender besides himself and the best rebounder in the game at the time.  I’ve already addressed that foolishness in the Hot Joint entitled, “The Edited Version.” So pop the link and learn somethin'! That way you don’t keep makin' a fool of yourself when arguin’ with friends and family bringin' up points that don't make sense. I’m just tryin’ to help you out playa.

LeBron is out here naked with the hospital gown wide open in the back after both Kevin Love and Kyrie went down and on some real talk, they should be up 3-0 on these boyz. He’s playin’ the 67 regular season game winnin’ Golden State Warriors with the cat that they inadvertently shipped the MVP trophy to on the freakin’ ropes right now stumblin’ and bleedin’ from the mouth! Wheredeydodatat? In Cleveland apparently!

Steph Curry was last seen gettin’ dressed in the Golden State locker room at approximately 9pm Eastern Standard Time on Tuesday evenin’! That dun went missin’ for 45 minutes when a white dude with a Service Merchandise loadin’ dock uniform approached him at the tip. He held him to 3 freakin’ points in the first half while completely pushin’ him around.

I told you boyz who the real MVP was all season but you wouldn’t listen. Yeah, Curry ended the night with 27 points and he knocked down 5 3-pointers to make a push at the end but he was a complete no show up until that point and boyz needed an Amber Alert to find him.

What kills me is that boyz will give Steph a hall pass knowin’ he didn’t have to use the restroom in Games 2 and 3. However, if LeBron hadn’t gone to work on these boyz, duns would be killin’ this dude right now. “See I told you he wasn’t any good! Maaaann, he only scored 44 points in Game 1 on the road on the toughest home court in the NBA and he should have scored more points in overtime. Even though he’s playin’ with the whole darn team on his back!”

But let Curry completely shrink on the biggest stage after stealin’ the league MVP trophy and boyz will say that he hasn’t found a rhythm yet. Naw playa, an undrafted free agent from Australia is puttin’ that thang on him. That’s the rhythm he’s findin’. The Cavs said that Dellavedova was so spent after the game that he couldn’t come to the post-game presser. He was bein’ treated for cramps and they also had to run him over to the Cleveland Clinic for further procedures.

That’s what they told boyz. I saw that dun clockin’ in at Service Merchandise to work the midnight shift with about 35 keys hangin’ off of his belt with his name stitched on his shirt on my way back from the game. He was out there checkin’ Steph with all of those keys on that’s why ole boy couldn’t get into a rhythm because the keys kept scratchin’ him.

Don’t EVER mention Steph Curry’s name and the word MVP in the same sentence to me again bruh! When he gets shut down two games in a row by Justin Bieber’s uncle Fester, before he shaved, he ain’t the league MVP pimpin’! The REAL MVP has been puttin’ in work since this Finals started and his kids are well behaved.

Put ya seat belts on playa, Game 4 Thursday night is gonna be NUTS in Cleveland!! They’ve got a chance to go up 3-1! Like I told you boyz several days ago, the only way the Cavs can pull this off is if they win both games at the crib. They aren’t deep enough to play a long series with LeBron loggin’ crazy minutes like that. So it’s in their best interest to keep pushin’ these dudes around like they’re in a wheel chair to get this over with ASAP. We already know that Steph is gettin’ chauffeured around like Miss Daisy by Delly at this point. So he's taken care off.

I’m gonna say it again because you boyz won’t listen. A jump shootin’ team CANNOT win an NBA championship! At some point you gotta put your back to the basket and bang a boy. Why? Because a dun in a loadin’ dock work shirt with 35 keys on his belt will get inside their heads and have a boy throwin’ up foolishness hopin’ it’ll go in. Oh and by the way, those aren't crickets you're hearin' this mornin'. Those are all of the LeBron haters sittin' at the little kid's table.  Stop me when I start lyin’ bruh!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. It whoever I’m talkin’ about or referrin’ to playa and it’s non-gender specific.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!  

George Jefferson (Why duns in Cleveland are walkin' around pimpin' today!

"Y'all wit me tonight?"

As I’m sittin’ in my favorite breakfast joint downtown Cleveland this mornin’, which I won’t name because they aren’t payin’ me to, I hear these old timers talkin’ about anticipation. Alfred Hitchcock said, “There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.” Norman Cousins, the political journalist, author and professor, stood up and shouted, “Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.” Then Joseph B. Wirthlin, the well-known businessman and religious leader, shut the joint down when he said, “We are ever on the threshold of new journeys and new discoveries. Can you imagine the excitement of the Wright brothers on the morning of that first flight? The anticipation of Jonas Salk as he analyzed the data that demonstrated a way to prevent polio?”

Well playas…can you imagine the excitement in the city of Cleveland, Ohio this mornin’ as boyz are about to see the first NBA Finals game EVER played there? I said EVER playboy! Not since when! But EVER. Well...unless you're countin' the 2007 joint when LeBron was just a pup! Now he's a big dawg that will bite a boy real quick. Do you realize that boyz in Northeast Ohio have only won one sports championship in the history of mankind? That’s BC and AD bruh! For all of your simple minded individuals that means "Before Christ and After Death." The Browns with a dun named Jim totin’ the rock won it all in 1964! That means that cats are literally walkin’ around Cleveland this mornin’ butt naked in disbelief that they are even hostin’ a Finals game.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! There are cats that are 51 years old that have NEVER experienced this. I’m talkin’ about boyz with grandchildren that don’t know what celebratin’ a championship of any kind looks or smells like bruh. So do you really think Golden State is gonna come up in the “Q” tonight a steal a game? Not unless they run up in that joint and Set it Off like Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett-Smith and the girls, literally.

And the way Steph Curry disappeared at the crib with a boy woofin’ down his throat no way are you gonna get me to believe he’s got the gonads to fall off into Cleveland and shut it down. Yeah, I know that they can only active 12 cats which the Cavs are even strugglin’ to do now days, but the fan base is gonna be ignorant in that joint tonight.

The Cavs are strugglin’ to find duns to suit up at this point. They literally had to activate Kevin Love, Anderson Varejao and Kyrie the day after he had season endin’ knee surgery for Game 2 bruh. But do you think that even matters for folks in Ohio this mornin’ or the team itself? They’re playin’ Game 3 of the NBA Finals in Cleveland tonight.

So let me ask you dawg? How many duns are goin’ to work today? Or better yet, how many duns are gonna be productive today. Naw, how many cats workin’ with power tools today will cut off a finger or two for not payin’ attention. The ER is about to be busy as heck. And that’s the edited version. Boyz are gonna be cursin’ the duns out at McDonald’s all day long because a boy got all the way to the crib and discovered that they forgot his fries. You already know how mad a boy can get when his fires aren’t in the bag. In other words, it’s gonna be chaos in Cleveland today. Why? Because they’re hostin’ the NBA Finals!!!

So anybody lookin’ for a Golden State win tonight is smokin’ crack and lighter fluid, foamin’ at the mouth and sniffin’ glue. Can you imagine how the joint is goin’ to erupt when LeBron gets the first breakaway dunk? OMG!!!

On some real talk, the Cavs went into the best home court environment in the NBA at the Oracle where boyz are 47-3 all season and completely outplayed the Warriors in both games and really could be up 2-0. So they’ve got the confidence to put it on these cats in Games 3 and 4. It’s not crazy to believe that Cleveland, with a depleted roster and all, can win both games at the crib. I’m just sayin’! Now LeBron will have to be superhuman and put up monster numbers like he did in Games 1 and 2 but he’s capable of doin’ it bruh.

And on some real-real talk, the only way the Cavs win this series is that they have to win both Games 3 and 4. If they split a boy at home they’re shot because the longer the series goes it favors the team with the most depth. As good as LeBron is he can’t keep this up over a 6 or 7 game series. That’s just puttin’ it where the goats can get it.

All I know is that I’ve got me feet kicked up waitin’ for this joint to tip and I’m not even from Cleveland. The story line is ridiculous and we all get to see it play out. This dun comes home and literally puts the city and the team on his back and takes them to the Finals in year one!!! Without Kevin Love! Without Kyrie! Without Varejao! Without a coach! You heard what I said bruh, without a coach!! Y’all already know that Blatt is the team mascot. He’s just on the sideline for cosmetic purposes because LeBron can’t stand there and play at the same time. If he could he would playa.

King James is gonna show up to the “Q” in the K900 tonight bumpin’ that O’Jay’s “Give the People What They Want” and “Time to Get Down” as every dun with a Cleveland zipcode George Jefferson pimp walks into the arena or sports bar of their choice! As a matter of fact boyz are pimpin' to work today. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person or persons in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and it’s non-gender specific.
2) Crib: noun – home
3) Puttin’ it where the goats can get it: To completely be honest, to put it on the ground so that boyz can eat it without bein’ hindered. To spoon feed.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Thug Luv (How LeBron was LeBron, Steph went missin' and the refs had on Ski Masks)

In my Smokey from Friday voice, "Let's do this maaaaan!"

Robert A. Heinlein, the well-known science fiction writer, once said, “Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done.” Audrey Hepburn gave it to us like this, “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” Then Francis of Assissi, the 13^th century Italian Catholic friar and preacher, broke it down so that it would be forever broken when he spit, “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

Well playas…LeBron started by doin’ what was necessary, then what was possible and suddenly he was doin’ what he already knew he could do bruh, win in Oracle Arena. Everybody and their momma’s momma and even their baby’s momma’s momma, some chick named Ms. Jackson, completely counted the Cavs out when Kyrie went down in Game 1. I even heard duns in the national media talkin’ about these cats gettin’ swept! However, boyz forgot that this young boy from Akron played for Cleveland that the boyz in Golden State can’t stop. Therefore, we’re headed back to Cleveland with this joint all knotted up at one apiece after the Cavs finished a boy off in OT in Game 2 95-93.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! The Cavs could really be up 2-0 while you’re completely countin’ these duns out because they outplayed the Warriors twice on their own floor. They’ve walked into a joint where boyz are 47-3 this season, which is the best home court advantage in the NBA, and pushed the best team in the league with the MVP to two overtime games. If LeBron hits the last second shot in Game 1 we’re talkin’ about the Cavs sweepin’ Steph and Co. So how did we get to boyz gettin’ swept when I keep tellin’ you cats that a jump shootin’ team isn’t gonna win the NBA title.

LeBron pulled up with the tinted windows down to eye brow to give boyz the illusion but they already knew who was drivin’! Since they knew what time it was he went on ahead and unloaded a triple-double on ‘um. He popped these cats for 39 points, 16 rebounds and 11 assists! Wheredeydodatat? In the Finals? After Golden State got out of Game 1 they told the media that they let LeBron get 44 points and they contained everybody else. So in the post-game joint after Game 2 LeBron told boyz how he really felt. “You don’t let me get 40! Once again, I was knocking on the 40 door again. So they let me score 40 again.” That’s like tellin’ a boy that you let him steal your sneakers everyday on the way to school or you let a boy take your lunch money in the lunch line.

Again, what boyz are losin’ sight of is that this cat is puttin’ up crazy numbers with the entire team on his back. Not only did he post a triple-double in the Finals on the road in the toughest arena in the league but he did it without both Kyrie and Kevin Love and they only went 6.25 people deep with the refs wearin’ “Set it Off” ski masks. They were tryin’ their best to rob Cleveland down the stretch of that ball game bruh.

The only cats that came off of the bench were J.R. Smith, 116 year old James Jones and 143 year old Mike Miller! Boyz keep screamin’ about how deep Golden State is and the Cavs bench with Mike Miller only playin’ 6 minutes outscored the Warriors bench 21-17! Again, Wheredeydodatat?

Like I’ve been tellin’ boyz, you can’t win the title just shootin’ 3’s! At some point you gotta bang in the paint and right now the Cavs are bangin’. They outrebounded them 55-45 and they’ve got no answer for Timofey Mozgov gettin’ at them for 17 points and 11 boards. Tristan Thompson can’t hit the side of a barn with a mallet but he’s destroyed ‘em on the boards with 14! He’s pullin’ a Dennis Rodman on a boy and that’s cool. Grab that joint and give it up.

And will somebody PLEASE put an Amber Alert out for the league MVP! That dun went missin’ last night and nobody wants to blast him. If that were LeBron they’d be roastin’ him this mornin’! The last time I saw him some cat that looks like a West Virginia coal miner was D-ing him up and he literally had no answer for him. Dellavadova was puttin' that thang on him bruh. How are you the league MVP and you get shut down by a dun comin’ off of the bench? He couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat. I mean he couldn’t hit an elephant in the butt with a base fiddle. And that’s the edited version playboy. Ole boy held Steph to 5-23 from the field and 2-15 from downtown! But this is the MVP! Really?

Y’all can keep hatin’ all you want on this dun from Akron but he’s goin’ to the crib on Tuesday night for a Game 3 that will be ignorant inside of Quicken Loans Arena. These cats in Northeast Ohio haven’t won a championship in any sport in 51 years pimpin'. So do you think Golden State is gonna just show up and shoot 3’s all night and go to the crib? Not in your wildest dreams playa.

The Cavs are rollin’ back into the “Q” bumpin’ that Bone Thugs N Harmony just for motivation playa. This ain’t the “1^st of the Month’ but they’ll show you that “Thug Luv” when you “Look Into My Eyes” because now you’re at the “Crossroads” and this right here ain’t “Foe the Love of $.” It’s about winnin’ a title for the city of Cleveland and LeBron James is drivin’ the freakin’ bus with no brakes.

I said after Game 1 that it would be askin’ way too much for LeBron to put up 40+ points and play 46 minutes a night four more times. Well pimpin’, now that he’s done it twice it seems possible because they’ve got no answer for him. In Game 2 he got at them for a clean triple-double and he logged 50 minutes. If anybody can do it it’s him. So I’ve got my feet kicked up and popcorn ready. Why? Because it’s gonna be good in Cleveland! I wouldn’t be surprised if they win both games at the crib with that "Bone, Bone, Bone" bumpin' in the background. And before I get outta here, where are all of the Jordan lovin' LeBron haters at this mornin'? Where dey at! Because it seems like it's impossible for a boy to love Jordan and LeBron at the same time around this piece. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Ms. Jackson: noun – the baby momma’s momma in the song entitled “Ms. Jackson” by Outkast that was released in 2000. Keep up with me playa.
3) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc.
4) Tinted windows to eye brow: verb phrase – to roll your tinted windows down to just at the eye brow level. It gives the people you’re pullin’ up on the “Who is that effect.” Boyz in the hood pull that joint all of the time when they pull up in a nice whip as in car. Keep up with me dawg. This is like the fourth time in this joint.
5) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for, “Who does that?”
6) The “Q”: noun - the nickname for Quicken Loans Arena
7) Bone Thugs N Harmony: noun – rap group from Cleveland and those were titles to some of their biggest hits I threw in there playa.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Rabbit's Feet (Why Jordan fans will never cut LeBron a break despitedoin' the impossible)

"C'mon bruh! Are you serious!"

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.” William Feather gave it to us like this, “Most of us regard good luck as a betrayal of that right.” Then Joseph Heller broke it down like a hooptie in the projects sittin’ on 24’s when he said, “Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny, call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.”

Well playas…call it whatever you want but it ain’t good. Kyrie Irving is out for the remainder of the Finals with a fractured knee cap. This leaves LeBron in the middle of what could have been a great street fight with a water gun and some firecrackers. LeBron James has gotta have the worst luck in the history of the NBA bruh! This dun keeps showin’ up to the Finals by himself and everybody and their momma’s momma expects him to be able to win because Jordan showed up and went 6-0 with much better teams.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! LeBron’s been to the Finals 6 times! He’s won 2 of them and has already lost 3. In 2 (2007 and 2014) of the 3 that he’s lost he was carryin’ some bums in on his coat tail. Yes!!!! He carried the Heat to the Finals in 2014! D. Wade’s knees were shot and Chris Bosh pulled a no show in two of the 5 games not scorin’ a single point! In the 2011 Finals that dun completely fell apart in multiple 4^th quarters in that series. Maybe he couldn’t get over the fact that boyz were hollerin’ about Delonte West hangin’ out with his momma. Whatever the reason playboy I can’t help him on that. He fell apart and Jordan never did nor would he even if it were true.

But when you look at this dun’s luck with supportin’ casts in the Finals it’s almost Schleprock-ish but boyz don’t give him credit for showin’ up to the Finals with cats that no one else could even make it out of the first round with.

USA Today’s Jason McIntyre did a Crazy Hot Joint this week entitled "LeBron Has Had Much Weaker Supporting Cast than Jordan" comparin’ the supportin’ casts of LeBron and Jordan in the Finals and they were polar opposite’s bruh. Ole boy ranked all of teams that have made the Finals datin’ back to 1985. That’s 31 years for all of you simple minded individuals. So usin’ the metrics based on leverage and minutes-weighed statistical plus/minus talent for the best players teammates through the conference finals accordin’ to McIntyre; he concluded that LeBron’s supportin’ cast ranks 3 of the worst 8 and Jordan’s ranks 3 of the best 6 out of 62 teams!

I wrote a joint last week entitled “The Edited Version” tellin’ you boyz the same thing without the science because I’m not as smart. Jordan had the best 3-point man from a percentage stand point in Steve Kerr at 45 percent which is better than Steph’s 44 percent right now, the best wing man and defender in Scottie Pippen, the best rebounder in the game at the time in Dennis Rodman and the freakin’ best coach to ever walk the sidelines. He should have gone 6-0 in the Finals as I explained to boyz in my Hot Joint entitled "The Edited Version" earlier this week.

Lebron needs an old school rabbit foot bruh! He drug some bums to the Finals in 2007 at only 22 years old and played against the 11^th best team of those 62 ole boy mentioned earlier and his team was the 2^nd worst to make the Finals since 1985. The dull 1999 Knicks led by Larry Johnson and 36 years Patrick Ewing was the worst. I already told you about the 2014 Miami Heat with Wade bein’ a train wreck all season and missin’ God knows how many games and Bosh disappearin’ on a boy in the Finals for two entire games. That ain’t on LeBron! He averaged 28 points, 8 rebounds and 4 assists in that series playa. Boyz didn’t ever just disappear on Jordan! Nor did Jordan ever have to CARRY a bunch a duns into battle.

Now he’s literally pulled off the impossible and showed up to the Finals this year without Kevin Love and only havin’ Kryie to close out Atlanta (which he didn’t need) and Game 1 in the Finals but not in overtime. He’s out there with the Cosby Kids and puts up 44 points, 8 rebounds and 6 assists! He almost single handedly pulls off the upset on the road against the best team in the league in the FINALS and all boyz could say in the barber shop yesterday was “He could have scored more points” and “Jordan would have finished them boyz off.”

What they don’t understand is that Jordan would never have been in that situation because Jordan couldn’t get out of the first round until he got Scottie Pippen. Stop tellin’ me what Jordan would have been able to do in that situation because he’s already shown us what he would do in that situation. With a bunch of bums around him he would have been on vacation two months ago. Stop it! You sound crazy!

Boyz are so caught up in the “Jordan Brand” that they can’t see the greatness in this player even in the mist of havin’ a terrible supportin’ cast. Nobody ever talks about Magic’s Lakers gettin’ swept twice in ’83 and ’89 when boyz showed up snake bitten. In ’83 Norm Nixon, James Worthy and Bob McAdoo were sidelined when the Sixers ran through them. Then in ’89 the Pistons got at them when both Magic and Byron Scott were out. It happens bruh! Jordan’s Bulls just happened to show up healthy every time they were in the Finals.

Just because a boy loses in the Finals doesn’t mean that he isn’t the best all-around player we’ve ever seen. Look what he’s been bringin’ to the Ship bruh! He should have won at least three in Miami. No excuses for a boy in 2011. Can’t get away from that one. Sorry LeBron! Can’t help you on that one pimpin’! But in his defense I will say that he was just 26 years old and Jordan never sniffed a Finals until he was 28. Maturity has its advantages playa but even at 26 Jordan was a killer. So LeBron you’re on your own on that one baby boy. However, the other two losses weren’t on his ability or inability to be great.

Hey LeBron, I got some rabbit’s feet in my trunk if you need some bruh because you’re gonna need them if you think that rest of those duns in that locker room are gonna step their games up enough to win 4 games without Kyrie. As a matter of fact, I’ve got some live rabbits that I can put in the locker room and in the hotel for you duns because you’re gonna need it. No way can LeBron score 44+ points a night and log 46 minutes with all of those duns on his back. Not gonna happen bruh! The simple fact that he’s doin’ what he’s doin’ makes a strong case for him bein’ the best all-around player we’ve ever seen but Jordan fans aren't ever gonna cut him a break.

All of the great players that boyz bring up walked into great situations! Kobe was drafted by Charlotte and immediately traded to the Lakers where he had Phil and Shaq! Larry Bird was drafted by the Celtics and a year later got Kevin McHale and Robert Parrish. Magic went straight to the Lakers where Kareem was waitin' on him after already winnin' a title with the Big O in Milwaukee and the great Michael Jordan couldn't get out of the first round until Scottie showed up 3 years later and Phil rang the door bell in 5 years. Within 7 they were rollin' with the best supportin' cast in basketball but LeBron can't get any respect from boyz out here and he's draggin' boyz to the Finals darn near every year by himself! He spent 7 years in Cleveland without gettin' a savior like the rest of these duns were blessed to get. So let's see Jordan go 6-0 without Scottie. Oh and did I mention that LeBron has been out here for 12 years without a coach? Shakin' my head and stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:


1) Hooptie: noun – an old raggedy car that boyz typically put rims on and spend a fortune in audio to look like a complete idiot drivin’. Not because it raggedy but because they spent the bread to rim it up and put sounds in it instead of buyin’ a better car or fixin’ the joint with the money.
2) Crazy Hot Joint: noun – a column or article that in my Jay Graves voice, “Is so good that it’s crazy!” It’s outstandin’ because of the research and time it took to pull the information together. Big shout to Jason McIntyre for doin’ work on that joint!
3) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc.
4) Ship: noun - short for Championship
5) Pimpin’: noun - the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!