Why ALABAMA hollers ROLL TIDE and not SEC, SEC, SEC!! "GPA"

"ROLL TIDE playa!"

Mao Zedong once said, "The cardinal responsibility of leadership is to identify the dominant contradiction at each point of the historical process and to work out a central line to resolve it." Soren Kierkegaard gave it to us like this, "Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts." Then Isaac Asimov shut the buildin' down when he spit, "It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be."

Well playas... one thing that isn't changin' any time soon about the college football world is the fact that Alabama keeps trashin' boyz and winnin' national titles! After puttin' that thang on Clemson Monday night 45-40, the Tide rolled out of the joint with their 4th national championship in 7 years bruh! Talk about dominance!!! 

But let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! What blew my mind is that duns from Kentucky will started tweetin', "SEC, SEC, SEC," tryin' to prop their affiliation to some cats that don’t even want them in the ride. Kentucky is the dun in the car that boyz have to give a ride home because they live in the same hood and Big Momma told them that they had to, but nobody even likes them. They’re like the sick dog that boyz don’t wanna pay good money to put down so they take them for that infamous "last" ride but it keeps findin' its way back home. They’re like the dun in the frat that keeps bringin' the GPA down but is always at the party with some Greeks on steppin' like crazy. He’s in it for the props and the women but isn’t puttin’ in any of the work. They call that bein' a crab where I’m from playa.

Stop hollerin' SEC when you’ve never contributed to the success of the conference bruh! Like I’ve been sayin' for years, the top of the SEC is loaded and are carryin' the rest of these duns. Those 7 straight BCS championships and now 8 out of 10 were won by 4 cats; Alabama, LSU, Florida and the Auburn Cam Newtons! Not by 8 different schools or the ENTIRE conference. 

On some real talk, 6 of those 8 were won by 2 cats! Alabama has won 4 and Florida has won 2! So stop with the SEC chantin' if you aren’t one of those schools. Alabama has won 4 out of the last 7 titles!!!! Not the SEC bruh!!! Boyz from Alabama ain't hollerin', "SEC!!" They're hollerin' "Role Tide!"

"Y'all don't want none of this bruh!"

Sayin' that the SEC has won 8 out of 10  is a fallacy playboy! For those of you simple minded individuals that don't know what that is, it's something that is true but not necessarily true. For example, it's like sayin' that people in the projects steal. Johnny lives in the projects, therefore, he steals. Teams from the SEC have won 8 out of 10 championships. However, not all of them have won a championship. I do have a Bachelor's Degree playa while you're sittin' there hatin' on my writin' style! 

Side note: "If 50% of the people in the room aren't hatin' on you! You need to step you're game up pimpin'! Let's move on!" -Jay Graves- You can borrow that any time you want! Just spell my name right. 

Clowns that attach themselves to someone else's success are like the fool that lets his boy pay for the buffet at Shoney’s and then eats off of his plate. I saw an Ole Miss fan high fivin' a Vandy fan as a cat from Miss State pulls up with some duns from Kentucky, Tennessee, South Carolina and Mizzou in the ride talkin' trash. They were all goin' to a boy from Texas A&M’s crib that's married to a girl from Georgia to celebrate the success of the SEC. When they got there somebody said put all of the championship rings on the table that have been won over the past 50 years and you heard two coins and some lent hit the table. Georgia had a joint from 1980 and Tennessee had a joint from 1998. Everybody else just stood there lookin' a hot mess.

Big props to ALABAMA for winnin' it's 4th national title in 7 years! But if you run into some dun hollerin’ SEC today and he’s not from Alabama, LSU, Florida or Auburn, tell him to stop bringin' the frat GPA down, take off the Greeks and start puttin' in some work. Stop me when I start lyin’!  

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The caption under the photos are REAL talk today!

How the New Year's Six bowl games were completely trash and all hype! "Refund"

"I told you boyz I was the truth playboy!"

David Miliband, the British politician, once said, "You know, you only get to live life once, so there are two things that that yields. One is that there's no point in crying over spilt milk, but secondly you hate wasting time, energy, and whatever talent you've got." Hellen Mirren, the English actor, gave it to us like this, "There's no good way to waste your time. Wasting time is just wasting time." Then the big homie, Benjamin Franklin, shut the buildin' down when he spit, "If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality." 

Well playas...ole Ben must have been sittin' next to me over the past 48 hours while I was tryin' to watch these dull bowl games! I purposely waited to only watch the so-called "New Year's Six" that these fake media-types on ESPN have been hypin' since the season ended. Obviously, there were a total of 40 bowls games this year but I figured that my time would be better spent watchin' the 6 biggest joints and not the others. After all, I am a buzy man right? 

So let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I didn't turn a joint on until New Year's Eve to watch both of the semi-final games of the College Football Playoff. There was crazy hype goin' into the Orange Bowl and Clemson beat the brakes off of Oklahoma 37-17. Then Alabama ran off in the Cotton Bowl and completely drug Michigan State up and down the field 38-0. 

Then I got up on New Year's today figurin' that boyz gotta give me somethin' because I've blocked off my time to do ABSOLUTELY nothin' but watch these games! Turned on the Outback Bowl and Tennessee gutted Northwestern 45-6. Michigan dog walked Florida 41-7 in the Citrus Bowl. Ohio State carjacked the Leprechaun and tied up Touchdown Jesus in the bathroom in the Fiesta Bowl 44-28. Stanford treated Iowa like some bald headed step children in the Rose Bowl by blastin' them 45-16 and Christian McCaffery proved once again why he was robbed of the Heisman by runnin' all over these boyz. Then for kicks and giggles I turned on the Sugar Bowl and Oklahoma State completely wet the bed and Ole Miss went to work on them 44-28.

So really that was 7 games instead of 6 that I gave these fools. Sad part about it is that I can't ask for a refund because I didn't pay to see any of them. I just wasted my freakin' time watchin' them when I could have been doin' somethin' else. So I don't care who's playin' today bruh, I'm not watchin' another college football game until next season pimpin'. And I'm temped to not to watch another football game until the NFL playoffs start next week. Why? Because I'm nauseous from watchin' terrible football and I already know that week 17 NFL football is gonna be even worse. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Pimpin': noun - the person that I'm passionately tryin' to get my point across to. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

How to know for sure that YOU ARE a HATER! "Sucka Bait"

"You know boyz are about to clown you right?" 

Tom Hiddleston, the English actor, once said, "Haters never win. I just think that's true about life, because negative energy always costs in the end." Rob Manuel, broke it down like this, "There's a certain logic to avoiding the haters, but as a strategy, it's utterly flawed. When you turn off the feedback, you lose the benefits as well as the drawbacks. It's like having a sore finger and cutting off your arm." Then of all the people in the world to make any sense, R. Kelly shut the buildin' down when he spit, "I only feel sorry for weak people. And mostly what I've come to find is that the weak people are the ones that are the haters." 

Well playas...I feel the same way because it's always the weak minded individuals that are the suckas that are always lookin' to hate for whatever reason. Now everybody and their baby's momma's momma, Ms. Jackson, knows that I'm a diehard Oklahoma Sooners fan. I have been since the '70's. When my son was growin' up we had season tickets for 14 years and we didn't miss a game. We've traveled all over this country watchin' them play and I've lost count as to how many College GameDay's we've seen live. Now keep in mind that I'm not on the team. So therefore, what a boy does on the field I have no control of. Therefore, I can't talk trash before or after the games because I didn't contribute to the wins or the loses. 

So after the Sooners got the brakes beat off of them on New Year's Eve by Clemson who PROVED to be the much better team on Thursday night. Several cats, well...the same two cats like clockwork, took to my Facebook page to talk trash to me about OU gettin' blasted. Now again, I'm not on the team so it's worthless to talk crazy to me because I didn't play nor coach in the darn game. However, I would accept the trash talk "IF" the duns that were talkin' were CLEMSON fans!!! But these fools are Notre Dame fans!!!! Wheredeydodatat? 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Notre Dame didn't even make the College Football Playoff! So why in THEE world are some delusional Notre Dame fans even have their mouths open and they were at the crib watchin' this whole thing play out! I'll tell you why bruh!!! Because these cats are bonafide HATERS that's why! You've got to be a complete sucka to holler at a boy when your team is irrelevant. 

How in the world can you fix your mouth to say a mumblin' word to a boy who's team is playin' in the game that you wanted your team to play in? Your team wasn't good enough to qualify. That makes you a sucka off the top! Don't be that dude bruh because when you become him you look stupid.  Now am I petty for dedicatin' an entire Hot Joint to some suckas? You darn right I am because boyz need to know that they are in fact some haters when they wanna act like they aren't. See nobody ever wants to admit that they're haters but this is what hatin' looks like and if you're pullin' stunts like this you are in fact a hater. 

Just sit back and enjoy the games for what they are. Remember, you aren't on the freakin' team so you can't talk trash to boy in the win or the loss. You had absolutely nothin' to do with the outcome. So stop actin' like it. And you darn sure can't talk if your team is at the crib!! That's like callin' a boy whose team lost in the Final Four of the NCAA Tournament and your team got beat in the Sweet 16! Stop me when I start lyin'! Oh, and congats to both Clemson and Alabama for goin' to work on boyz to get to the National Championship Game on January 11th! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
JayGravesReport
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Why if Trevone Boykin were my son he'd be askin' the police to keep him in jail! "Check"

"Bruh! Can y'all keep me in until my old man calms down?" 

John Wayne once said, "Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid." Maxim Gorky, the Russian and Soviet writer, gave it to us like this, "A good man can be stupid and still be good. But a bad man must have brains." Then Sloan Wilson, the famous writer, put a little somethin' on a boyz head when he spit, "Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders." 

Well playas...you can add TCU's Trevone Boykin to the list of stupid leaders. This dun got arrested early Thursday mornin' for, in my momma's voice, "Actin' a fair fool" at a bar in San Antonio. He and some of his teammates were in a joint called Pat O'Brien's when boyz recognized him and started talkin' trash to him. And that's the edited version. This cat got mad and started fightin' inside the joint hittin' a bar employee in the process. They put this fool out and he continued to scrap outside of the place. Then he goes as far as to fire on a bicycle cop in all of the foolishness. They had to threaten him with a stun gun for him to chill out bruh. He was outta control. 

So just two days before TCU plays in the Alamo Bowl their startin' quarterback gets popped and charged with assaultin' a police officer, resistin' arrest and public intoxication, accordin' to my mans and nem. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I realize that boyz get it in while they're at the bowl site. It's all kind of events goin' on prior to the game and the players get to hang out. I get it playa. But when you're in a spot and boyz start talkin' crazy and you're the target in town on business. You gotta roll bruh! 

You can't get mad and start fightin' boyz knowin' that you've got a darn game to play in two days. Wheredeydodatat? Oh and did I mention that you're the freakin' leader of the team!!?? Now your dumb "A" is sittin' in jail days before the game. Even if they let yo dumb "A" out you won't play on Saturday because you've violated team rules! Rule 1, Article 1, Section 1: "Don't be stupid! Don't do nothin' stupid and don't get arrested for lookin' and actin' stupid! Check! Check and double check! 

All of the time and effort that it took to get to this point and now you can't even play in the freakin' bowl game. And you already know Big Momma is puttin' that dull house coat on and cursin' like a sailor. If that were my son he'd be tellin' the police to just leave him in here because I DO NOT wanna see my old man. Especially after he's already gotten to the bowl site. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Fire: verb - to hit 
4) My mans and nem: noun - credible sources bruh. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Why Memphis looks like a COMPLETE fool for kickin' a boy off of the team! "Balls"

"Y'all already knew I was crazy bruh!"

As I'm waitin' to get my whip washed over in the hood I overhear these two cats arguin' about duns bein' hypocrites. William Hazlitt, the 18th century English writer, said, "The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy." Tennessee Williams, the famous playwright, hit a boy off like this, "The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that's also a hypocrite!" Then Hazlitt shut the buildin' down with, "A hypocrite despises those whom he deceives, but has no respect for himself. He would make a dupe of himself too, if he could." 

Well playas...the University of Memphis is tryin' it's best to deceive boyz out here by actin' like they've got some morals and values. On Wednesday night after they got the brakes beat off of them 31-10 by Auburn in the Birmingham Bowl they announced that they had dismissed cornerback Reggis Ball from the team. Ole boy tried to steal two footballs from the Auburn sideline immediately followin' the game because he'd gotten two interceptions durin' the game. This cat actually got into a physical confrontation with a dun on the Auburn equipment staff, got away with the balls and ran into the Memphis locker room. It was all caught on tape so they announced that he'd been dismissed from the team. That all sounds good on the surface right? 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! According to The Ledger-Enquirer of Columbus, Georgia, the Auburn equipment staff had already been warned that if ole boy were to get an interception, he has a history of attemptin' to steal a ball from the opponent after the game. Therefore, if a freakin' newspaper in darn Columbus, Georgia (edited version) knows that this fool has a tendency of stealin' balls from the opponent after games then Memphis already knew that this dun has been stealin' them too. 

So therefore, they've allowed this fool to run a muck all season stealin' balls until the very last game. Why? Because they were winnin' with him. So now that the season is over and he's a freakin' senior anyway they've announced that he's been kicked off of the team! What!!!?? He's a senior!! You can't kick him off! He quit be default of eligibility bruh!  

They knew that he was a fool all season but because they were rollin' as a result of his play they acted like they didn't see it. Whenever a little newspaper in Georgia knows about the tendencies of a dun in Memphis, Memphis and EVERYBODY affiliated with the program knew that he was stealin' balls when he got picks. So please don't try to look like you've got some morals because it made national headlines that your boy was clownin' at the bowl game and he's done playin' anyway. That's like tryin' to fire a boy at his retirement party. or like the parent that tries to whip their kid for shopliftin' because the store manager caught that fool this time. The dun has been stealin' since birth. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Whip: noun - luxury vehicle
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific.

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!  

Why boyz give Bo Ryan and Steve Spurrier a pass but HATE LeBron! "The Fair"

"It ain't nothin' playboy!" 

Michelle Obama once said, "We learned about honesty and integrity - that the truth matters... that you don't take shortcuts or play by your own set of rules... and success doesn't count unless you earn it fair and square." Robert Frost, the famous poet, gave it to us like this, "A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." Then Chinua Achebe, Nigerian novelist, poet and professor, hit a boy in the dome when he spit, "What a country needs to do is be fair to all its citizens - whether people are of a different ethnicity or gender." 

Well playas...I feel the same way ole boy does about treatin' ALL citizens fairly regardless of their gender and ethnicity. Earlier this week Wisconsin head basketball coach Bo Ryan upped and quit on his team in the middle of their season with a record of 7-5. Earlier this football season a dun named Steve Spurrier bounced on the University of South Carolina football team with a record of 2-6. However, NOBODY called them quitters nor did they criticize them for walkin' away from their obligations as a coach. However, LeBron James in 2010 waited until he'd completely fulfilled his obligation to the Cleveland Cavaliers by playin through his current contract to announce that he was "Taking his talents to South Beach." And he suddenly became public enemy No.1! Why is that bruh? 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Why is it that duns like Bo Ryan and Steve Spurrier can quit on their teams and  universities in the middle of the season and not catch heat for it? How is it possible for people to think that it's permissible for a boy to sit in some kid's living room and tell their parents that they want their kid to come play for them when they're gonna bounce if they're losin'. They didn't tell them that playa. 

Their entire career as a coach they've told kids that it's about competin' and never givin' up. It's about perseverance and hard work. Always bein' there for your teammate, etc. However, as soon as the bottom falls out of the season the very dun that taught them that bounces. And more importantly, when they bounced the world said that it's completely okay! 

However, when LeBron decided AFTER the season was over and AFTER his contract was up to leave Cleveland boyz hated him because of the WAY he did it. There are even duns out here that hate him even more because he left Miami AFTER he fulfilled the obligation of that contract too!! But Bo Ryan and Steve Spurrier and throw in ole dull Bobby Knight too. Why? Because that dun bounced on Texas Tech when he started takin' it on the chin in the middle of the season. 

Why is it that NOBODY tripped when these cats left, universities, fan bases and most importantly, players hangin'? People to this day hate LeBron because he left Cleveland. Now is that fair? I need to stop lookin' for fair because Big Momma always said, "The fair only comes once a year! So get over it." Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say

2) Dun: the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Bounce: verb - to leave

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but it's REAL talk! 

How Derrick won, Christian got screwed & DeShawn looked like an ole pimp! "Lil' Stevie"

"If Stevie can get away with it, Ima do it too!" 

Saint Augustine, the Christian theologian and philosopher, once said, "In the absence of justice, what is sovereignty but organized robbery?" Johnny Carson gave it to us like this, "Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place." Then George Washington stood up, took his dull false teeth out and spit, "Bad seed is a robbery of the worst kind: for your pocket-book not only suffers by it, but your preparations are lost and a season passes away unimproved." 

Well playas...if the Heisman Trophy is supposed to go to the MOST OUTSTANDING football player in college football then Christian McCaffery got robbed and all of his preparations were lost and most importantly this season passed away unimproved. On Saturday night Alabama's Derrick Henry won the most prestigious individual award in sports as the dun that did it all could only sit and watch. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I told you boyz last week in the Hot Joint entitled "Shaft" that Christian was gonna get robbed because these fake media-types were goin' to bypass the white boy tottin' the rock for the now traditional brother tottin' it. There was a time in this country where a brother couldn't win the Heisman because of his race and now a white boy can't win it unless he's playin' quarterback.  Now you can act like it ain't what it is if you want to, but it is what it is. 

Again, if we're talkin' about the MOST OUTSTANDING player then there is no question McCaffery was your guy!! This dun put up 3,496 ALL-PURPOSE yards to break Barry Sanders' 1988 NCAA record for All-Purpose yards!!! He put up 1,847 yards from scrimmage alone bruh!!! Then he was catchin' the rock and returnin' kick offs too! He did EVERYTHING for Stanford but empty the freakin' bath water, usher and take tickets out there. Derrick Henry put in work but he didn't do all of that!!! 

Now don't get it twisted playboy, Derrick put up crazy numbers but they weren't Christian McCaffery joints! Lil' Stevie Wonder put-up 1,986 yards and scored 23 touchdowns and broke Hershel Walker's SEC single season rushing record. That's just a conference record playa! Ole boy broke Barry Sanders' NCAA record!! Don't even try to tell me that a freakin' conference rushing record is greater than an NCAA All-Purpose yards record and we're askin' boyz to decide who the MOST OUTSTANDING player is. It ain't even close!!! 

Oh, you wanna know why I called that dun Lil' Stevie Wonder? Because they both are holdin' on to hair cuts that look a freakin' mess! They both have dull reseedin' hairlines and they have the nerve to try to rock braids in Stevie's case and dreads in Derrick's case. I'll even give Stevie a pass because that dun can't see that he looks like a darn fool. Some cat in his camp keeps tellin' him that it's hot and that's the look that all the ladies think is sexy. But Derrick can see that his joint looks a hot mess and he immortalized it by winnin' the Heisman Trophy! Now boyz gotta see that horrific hair cut FOREVER. Put that dun right next to RGIII's ole ignorant photo with them darn plats. 

Speakin' of immortalizin' a picture bruh! Did you see the foolishness that Clemson's DeShawn Watson had on? That dun had on an orange suit with blue socks on and a polka dot shirt with a that ignorant butt chain on over his shirt and tie. And that's the edited version. Now the polka dot shirt would have been hot with the right outfit. But he looked like LeRoy the Pimp from the Bishop Magic Don Juan Pimp School of Greater Chicago dressed him. That's the foolishness that I'm talkin' about bruh! Where are these kids daddies at? And if nobody in his family knows better where are the duns at Clemson? 

You can't let that kid show up in New York lookin' like he just felll off of a circus train in the south. For all of you young cat s out there that think that you can dress. Rule No.1, you can ONLY wear a chain when you don't have  collar! If you have a collar on the freakin' shirt you CANNOT wear a chain! It's a dressed affair! YOU CAN'T WEAR A DARN CHAIN! PERIOD! YOU'RE NOT GOIN' TO THE CLUB BRUH! 

Back to McCaffery gettin' shafted. See, brothers have been accustomed to gettin' screwed because the world at one point just wasn't ready for them. Jim Brown was the best human being walkin' the earth playin' football in 1956 when they bypassed him and gave it to ole dull Paul Hornung playin' on a 2-8 Notre Dame team! Why? Because America wasn't ready to give a black man the highest football award at that time. As a matter of fact, Jim Brown wasn't even close in the votin'. That dun finished 5th and he was clearly the best college football player breathin' that year. It wasn't until 1961 that boyz had the guts to finally give Ernie Davis the Heisman. 

So now freakin' 60 years later a vast majority of a white voters is did the same thing to Christian McCaffery. Unless the white boy was playin' quarterback they weren't about to vote for him to win the darn Heisman! A darn shame bruh! Because there is no way you can look at what these kids have accomplished this year and tell me or Christian and his folks that Derrick Henry should've walked out of New York with that darn trophy! And that's the edited version!! And if we're really gonna keep it 100! Derrick Henry should have finished 3rd in the voting' because ole pimp suit put up more than 4,300 yards and scored 40 touchdowns leadin' the No.1 team in the country to the only undefeated season in the country! Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Dull: adjective - ridiculous and shameful playa

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Why these kid's ole trifling daddies were no shows at the College Football Awards! "ESSENCE"

"Well he's not talkin' about my old man bruh!
My daddy was there and always has been!" 

Franklin Pierce, the 14th President of the United States, once said, "Frequently the more trifling the subject, the more animated and protracted the discussion." Philip Stanhope, the 4th Earl of Chesterfield, gave it to us like this, "A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things, but cannot receive great ones." Then Francois de La Rochefoucauld, the 17th century French author of maxims and memoirs, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, "They that apply themselves to trifling matters commonly become incapable of great ones." 

Well playas…when boyz apply themselves to bein’ triflin’ dads they become incapable of becomin’ great ones. I tried everything in my power not to write this joint to blast these ole sorry cats that have kids that wanna act like the kids have the ability to raise themselves. However,  the more I watched the College Football Awards Show on ESPN Thursday night the angrier I got! Darn near every brother that won a freakin' award got up and thanked their mother because she was the only one there. 

All I heard was “I wanna thank God and my momma” all night long with no mention of a daddy anywhere in the freakin’ buildin’. If I can remember correctly the only dun that had both parents in the buildin’ was Joshua Garnett from Stanford that won the Outland Trophy for best interior lineman that wants to be a surgeon. The rest of those cats showed up with Big Momma only. If anybody else's old man was there that dun was in the toilet when his son won his award. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If your kid is at the College Football Awards Show that means that he's one the BEST players in the country and he's about to go to the NFL. So if you weren't there for that it means that you WEREN'T INVITED playa! By the time your kid is ballin' like that you've been tryin' to get back into good graces with he and his momma for some time now and they've COMPLETELY kicked you to the curve. 

He doesn't need you now and he's ALL in for his momma at this point! Why? Because she’s the one that took care of him when you were playin’ games. But what I wanna know is how did you get to a point where you're not welcomed TODAY bruh? And don't give me that "His momma was trippin'" foolishness! Because if you’re handlin’ your business, a woman doesn't have the power to keep you from seein’ your freakin’ child!!! Stop it! You sound crazy!!

I hear duns all of the time screamin’ that some chick won’t let them see their OWN kid. Do you know how difficult it is to raise a darn child bruh? I’m not tellin’ you what I heard! I’m tellin’ you what I know! I’ve raised one (a boy) and he’s in college now and I’ve got another one in seventh grade! It's a whole lot of work financially, physically and mentally and It ain’t a woman alive that would volunteer to raise a dun all by herself. Do you know how difficult it is to keep a boy out of trouble? Excuse my grammar but ain't nobody signin' up to do that alone playa.  

Yeah, she’ll volunteer if you’re on some BS and always playin’ games! Why? Because it ain’t worth the hassle of dealin’ with yo triflin’ butt and havin' to raise the darn kid too! And that’s the edited version!

Okay, lets say that you happened to hook up with the craziest broad breathin' and she's tryin' to keep you from bein' in your kid's life. Let's just say you hit the lottery and pulled that chick out of the hat. That's what they make lawyers and court rooms for bruh! If you don't have the bread then you need to step your game up and get the bread! Or maybe, just maybe you need to quit spendin' your bread on other things like trips, women, foolishness etc. Boyz kill me complainin' that their baby's momma is trippin' but won't make the sacrifice to see their own child. This dun's ridin' around in a brand new whip, new clothes, can travel to every Essence Fest or Tom Joyner Family Reunion etc. But can't afford a lawyer! Oh I'm tellin' the truth playa. 

No way should a kid be one of the best in the world at what he does and his daddy not be there. Well...unless he’s sick or dead! And even in those cases a boy should be sendin’ a shout out to him for bein' there up until he got sick or died. When darn near EVERY kid that gets up and says that I wanna thank God and my momma and never mentions a daddy his daddy was on some BS and needs his butt whooped! But big shout to all the daddys out there that are doin’ what God has ordained them to do and that’s to raise their freakin’ kids!!! Stop me when I start lyin’! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say

2) Dun: noun - the person in question,dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and it’s non-gender specific. 

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How Christian McCaffery is about to get screwed out of the Heisman bruh! "Shaft"

"Watch me whip! And watch me Nae Nae!" 

Ed Koch, the well-known political commentator, once said, "Stereotypes lose their power when the world is found to be more complex than the stereotype would suggest. When we learn that individuals do not fit the group stereotype, then it begins to fall apart." Queen Rania of Jordan broke it down like this, "We shouldn't judge people through the prism of our own stereotypes." Then the big homie, James E. Forbes, spit some serious fire when he said, "When people rely on surface appearances and false racial stereotypes, rather than in-depth knowledge of others at the level of the heart, mind and spirit, their ability to assess and understand people accurately is compromised." 

Well playas...I'll almost guarantee that these ole dull fake media-types will screw the MOST OUTSTANDING college football player in America out of the Heisman Trophy this weekend because he's a white boy! Christian McCaffery is the best thing smokin' right now and boyz wanna act like they don't see it! He's a white runnin' back in 2015 playin' at Stanford of all places! 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If we're givin' the award to the most outstandin' player in college football then why is everybody talkin' about Derrick Henry? Yeah, he's a beast that put-up 1,986 yards and scored 23 touchdowns and that would be enough to win the Heisman if Christian McCaffery weren't alive and playin' at Stanford playa. This unassumin' white kid completely destroyed those numbers bruh! 

This dun put up 3,496 all-purpose yards to break Barry Sanders 1988 NCAA record for All-Purpose yards!!! He put up 1,847 yards from scrimmage alone bruh!!! Then he's catchin' the rock and returnin' punts and kick offs too! He's doin' every thing but emptyin' the freakin' bath water out here. Derrick Henry ain't doin' that!!! But the fact that he's white, boyz aren't gonna vote for him which is dull! 

If he were a quarterback there would be no question as to who would win the Heisman. However, since he's a running back  boyz are lookin' the other way. Here's the bad thing about it bruh! The vast majority of sports writers are white! Like 92 percent of these duns! But they are about to screw the BEST player in college football out of the biggest award in sports because he doesn't fit the stereotype! Wheredeydodatat? When did white boyz in America start gettin' screwed by white folks for anything? 

Brothers have been accustomed to gettin' shafted because the world just hasn't been ready for them. Jim Brown was the best human being walkin' the earth playin' football in 1956 when they bypassed him and gave it to ole dull Paul Hornung playin' on a 2-8 Notre Dame team! Why? Because America wasn't ready to give a black man the highest football award in 1956! As a matter of fact, Jim Brown wasn't even close in the votin'. That dun finished 5th and he was clearly the best college football player breathin' that year. It wasn't until 1961 that boyz had the guts to finally give Ernie Davis the Heisman. 

So now freakin' 60 years later a vast majority white group of voters is doin' the same thing to Christian McCaffery. Because there is no way you can look at what these kids have accomplished this year and tell me or Christian and his folks that Derrick Henry should walk out of New York with that darn trophy! And that's the edited version!! Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Dull: adjective - ridiculous and shameful playa

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Why Steve Sarkisian and his attorneys must be full of that snake oil bruh! "Accommodatin'"

"I'm gettin' this money playa! Believe that!" 

Robert Quillen, the well-known journalist and humorist, once said, "Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance." George Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright, gave it to us like this, "Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance." Then the Big Homie James Madison hit boyz in the dome when spit, "Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives." 

Well playas...knowledge will govern ignorance if a boy is sober while tryin' to use it! Otherwise, it's a freakin' train wreck! Ole dull Steve Sarkisian has filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against USC for lettin' him go back in October. He's tryin' to peel these boyz off for $12.6 million in damages and his dull attorneys told 'my mans and nem' that he will seek more than $30 million! Check this out bruh, Sarkisian alleges that the university fired him without accommodatin' his efforts to seek treatment for his "disability." What!!??

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! This dun not only has a drinkin' problem but he's lost his freakin' mind too! Ole boy says that the university didn't accommodate his efforts to seek treatment for drinkin' while he was the head football coach at one the biggest programs in the HISTORY of college football! That dun must have been unconscious when ole dull Pat Haden hired him in 2014 when he already had a drinkin' problem! Boyz all over Seattle were tellin' folks that he was drinkin' like a fish when he was at the University of Washington! But Pat Haden did him a solid and hired that dun anyway!! That was called accommodation' his drinkin' problem bruh! 

Then he shows up at the Annual Football Kick Off Event in August with all of the big time boosters and alumni stumblin' around like Fred G. Sanford and cursin' boyz out on the mic! He should have been fired on the spot for that foolishness alone! But naaawww playa, they didn't him another solid and let that fool keep his job. Now how many of us can walk into a company event popped and cursin' investors out and still be workin' the next day? So they were VERY accomodatin'!!! 

Then stuck the last straw in the elephant's anus when he showed up to practice for like the old timers used to say, "the umpteenth" time lit in October! How do I know he'd been to practice bent more than that one time? Because when they finally made it public that he was drunk at practice one of his players was quoted sayin', "Coach is at practice popped again." 

The word again is an adverb that suggests another time or once more. It states the obvious in returnin' to a previous position or condition. For all of you simple minded individuals it means in addition to what was already mentioned. So therefore, it was public freakin' knowledge that he was ALWAYS drunk around his players but he was able to keep his job! Wheredeydodatat? Accommodatin' bruh!! 

So USC had no choice but to fire him because he couldn't drive the Bentley and be incoherent at the same time. He's coachin' young men at the university level not at the the California State Penitentiary!  It is what it is! He's recruited young men from all over the country to come to USC to play for him. He can't be drunk coachin' them. Would he want his kid bein' coached by some dun that was drunk on the sideline and talkin' crazy? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

He and his attorneys must have been drunk when they filed that lawsuit! Bruh! Some jobs you can't do drunk and coachin' a football team sure isn't one of them. Now he can be a wine taster or drunk driver simulator tester but he can't coach young men. 

Think about it, if all the duns that have been fired for bein' bent on the job filed lawsuits they wouldn't be firin' boyz for bein' bent on the job. Stop  it! You sound crazy and stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) My mans and nem: noun - credible sources in the street. In this case it was TMZ but it could be anybody close to the situation playa. 
3) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
4) Popped/Bent/Lit: adjective - drunk
5) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for, "Who does that?" 

How these fake media-types are all over the place with the CFP Top 4! "Simple Logic"

"Y'all know what it is! Stop playin'!" 

Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Nature is the source of all true knowledge. She has her own logic, her own laws, she has no effect without cause nor invention without necessity." Dale Carnagie broke it down like this, "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." Then the big homie, Albert Einstein, stood up and shouted, "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." 

Well playas...we don't wanna go everywhere today, we just want to stick with simple logic in poppin'  out the Top 4 teams that will compete for a national title. However, because we're dealin' with creatures of emotion with this College Football Playoff Committee we might end up ANYWHERE bruh! So now that all of regular season games are over, well...except for the Army/Navy game. Will somebody PLEASE tell me why that trash is on NATIONAL television? College football fans ain't watchin' that foolishness! Yeah, I know that it's a traditional feel good story of our soldiers playin' a worthless game but they aren't even real football players and it's become a waste of good eye balls and time to watch! There aren't any more Roger Staubach's runnin' out of the tunnel bruh. Stop it! You sound crazy even tryin' to defend that foolishness. Unless you went to either of those academies boyz aren't interested. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Everybody won yesterday that was supposed to win and Oklahoma watched the joint with their feet kicked up in Norman! So now usin' simple logic it should be easy to rank the duns and go to the crib. I know I heard ole boy that's the head of the committee sayin' last night that they were goin' to spend the entire night workin' on it and then be up meetin' again at 7:30 this mornin'! 

For what bruh! There's no need to think at this point! Clemson won EVERY freakin' game and finished 13-0! They should be No.1!! Oklahoma should be No.2! Why? Because they're playin' better football than any of the 4 teams left for consideration. They're balanced on offense and they've got a defense that's out of this world. Even though they're playin' better football than anybody they've got a loss. So you can't put them at No.1 usin' simple logic!! 

Then Alabama should be No.3 because they're the next best team standin'! What else do you have to discuss? Michigan State beat Iowa in a great game in Indianapolis and they round out the top 4! That took all of 30 seconds to write down usin' what? Simple logic! 

However, if you sat and listened to these fake media-types on TV after the games on Saturday night you'd think that the dope man slipped 90 percent of them some bad drugs before they went on air. I heard duns that were former college and pro coaches and players tryin' to tell me that Alabama should be No.1 because they won the SEC! WHAT!!?? 

First of all, Alabama's got a loss and the SEC was trash this year! They played a Florida team for the SEC title that were ranked 100th in the country in total offense and 80th in scorin' offense with a quarterback that couldn't throw the ball over his shoulder! 

The Big Ten finished the season as the best conference pimpin'! They had 3 of the Top 6 teams in the country left standin' AFTER the regular season was over! Not in the fabricated pre-season rankings where the SEC always looks good because duns are ridin' their coat tails. The Big Ten FINISHED with 5 teams in the Top 15! No other conference can say that! Boyz always wanna holler SEC because freakin' Alabama, LSU and Florida are carryin' them every year!! They rank duns from the SEC high as a kite in the pre-season EVERY year and then they start disappearin' by mid-season but nobody sees that. These fake media-types had the nerve to have Auburn No.6 in the pre-season and LSU was No.2  like week 3 and both those fools were trash by seasons end! Did I mention that Georgia just fired a boy for wettin' the bed too much? Stop it! You sound crazy! 

Then those same clowns on TV were legitimately tryin' to justify why Clemson wasn't the No.1 team in the country when they are the ONLY team that finished undefeated!! Stop right there bruh and check those dun's blood pressure and take a urine sample. I need a drop on these fools right now. But whatever you do, take these duns off of TV. Stop tryn' to pump up the SEC like we can't see and count! 

Those 7 straight titles won by the SEC were won by 4 teams and 3 of them were won by freakin' Alabama!!! In addition, Florida won 2, LSU won 1 and the Auburn Cam Newtons won 1! Stop hollerin' about the entire conference! There are 14 teams in the conference not 3 and a half! The rest of those duns are trash!!! 

Half of the Big Ten was in contention for the Top 4 at some point durin' the season! So in 2015 the Big Ten was the best conference not the SEC. So don't try to tell me that Bama should be No.1 because they won a trash conference and still had one loss. That's completely disrespectful to Clemson and the rest of the teams and conferences competin'. Simple logic! I just hope that the folks on the committee have more sense than these cats on TV and stop me when I start lyin'! 

TheJayGravesReport Top 4
1) Clemson 
2) Oklahoma
3) Alabama
4) Michigan State

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
2) Pimpin': noun - the person that I'm passionately tryin' to get my point across to. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
JayGravesReport
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!