Loadin' Dock (Why LeBron keeps remindin' boyz that they shipped the MVPto the wrong address)

Steph: "C'mon dawg! Y'all got a boy out here lookin' bad bruh!"
LeBron: "Boot Up playa!"

Les Brown, the motivational speaker, once said, “If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.” Joe Namath pulled off his mink coat and kept his shades on when he said, “When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.” Then Deborah Norville, the TV anchor and journalist shut the buildin’ down when she spit this at a boy, “When you’re true to who you are, amazing things happen.”

Well playas…amazing things keep happenin’ because LeBron is bein’ true to himself and bein’ the beast that he is. I keep tellin’ you boyz that we’ve NEVER seen a player with this type of all-around skill set in the history of the freakin’ game but you won’t listen. In three Finals games he’s literally taken the best team in the league and completely dismantled them bruh. On Tuesday night he led the Cavs or should I say the Cosby Kids to a 96-91 win over Golden State to take a 2-1 series lead.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! This dun put up 40 points, 12 rebounds and threw 8 dimes at a boy like it was loose change. Don’t get it twisted playa, he’s ownin’ these cats from the Bay Area. In a Game 1 overtime loss he hit ‘em up for 44, 8 and 6 playin’ 48 minutes! In Game 2 he got at them for 39,16 and 11 playin’ 50 minutes and in Game 3 you saw the numbers and he played 46 minutes!

So for all of you simple minded individuals, in 3 Finals games against what duns have been callin’ the best team in the NBA he’s scored 123 points (1st All-Time) and played 142 minutes out of a possible 154! And for all of you Jordan fans watchin' Space Jam for the 126th time, rockin' the tagless Hanes Underwear, wearin’ the latest pair of sneakers that he keeps re-makin’ and tellin’ your delusional butt that they’re a must have, the best Mike’s ever done in a three game Finals stretch was 117 points which is 4th All-Time behind Rick Barry (122 points) and Jerry West (118 points). Why did I mention that? Because some clown in the barber will ask, “Well, how does that stake up to Jordan?” So there it is playa.

Then the next thing out of his mouth will be, “Well Jordan was 6-0 in the Finals!” Well, he SHOULD have been 6-0 Finals genius. He showed up with the best coach, the best 3-point shooter, the best wing man and defender besides himself and the best rebounder in the game at the time.  I’ve already addressed that foolishness in the Hot Joint entitled, “The Edited Version.” So pop the link and learn somethin'! That way you don’t keep makin' a fool of yourself when arguin’ with friends and family bringin' up points that don't make sense. I’m just tryin’ to help you out playa.

LeBron is out here naked with the hospital gown wide open in the back after both Kevin Love and Kyrie went down and on some real talk, they should be up 3-0 on these boyz. He’s playin’ the 67 regular season game winnin’ Golden State Warriors with the cat that they inadvertently shipped the MVP trophy to on the freakin’ ropes right now stumblin’ and bleedin’ from the mouth! Wheredeydodatat? In Cleveland apparently!

Steph Curry was last seen gettin’ dressed in the Golden State locker room at approximately 9pm Eastern Standard Time on Tuesday evenin’! That dun went missin’ for 45 minutes when a white dude with a Service Merchandise loadin’ dock uniform approached him at the tip. He held him to 3 freakin’ points in the first half while completely pushin’ him around.

I told you boyz who the real MVP was all season but you wouldn’t listen. Yeah, Curry ended the night with 27 points and he knocked down 5 3-pointers to make a push at the end but he was a complete no show up until that point and boyz needed an Amber Alert to find him.

What kills me is that boyz will give Steph a hall pass knowin’ he didn’t have to use the restroom in Games 2 and 3. However, if LeBron hadn’t gone to work on these boyz, duns would be killin’ this dude right now. “See I told you he wasn’t any good! Maaaann, he only scored 44 points in Game 1 on the road on the toughest home court in the NBA and he should have scored more points in overtime. Even though he’s playin’ with the whole darn team on his back!”

But let Curry completely shrink on the biggest stage after stealin’ the league MVP trophy and boyz will say that he hasn’t found a rhythm yet. Naw playa, an undrafted free agent from Australia is puttin’ that thang on him. That’s the rhythm he’s findin’. The Cavs said that Dellavedova was so spent after the game that he couldn’t come to the post-game presser. He was bein’ treated for cramps and they also had to run him over to the Cleveland Clinic for further procedures.

That’s what they told boyz. I saw that dun clockin’ in at Service Merchandise to work the midnight shift with about 35 keys hangin’ off of his belt with his name stitched on his shirt on my way back from the game. He was out there checkin’ Steph with all of those keys on that’s why ole boy couldn’t get into a rhythm because the keys kept scratchin’ him.

Don’t EVER mention Steph Curry’s name and the word MVP in the same sentence to me again bruh! When he gets shut down two games in a row by Justin Bieber’s uncle Fester, before he shaved, he ain’t the league MVP pimpin’! The REAL MVP has been puttin’ in work since this Finals started and his kids are well behaved.

Put ya seat belts on playa, Game 4 Thursday night is gonna be NUTS in Cleveland!! They’ve got a chance to go up 3-1! Like I told you boyz several days ago, the only way the Cavs can pull this off is if they win both games at the crib. They aren’t deep enough to play a long series with LeBron loggin’ crazy minutes like that. So it’s in their best interest to keep pushin’ these dudes around like they’re in a wheel chair to get this over with ASAP. We already know that Steph is gettin’ chauffeured around like Miss Daisy by Delly at this point. So he's taken care off.

I’m gonna say it again because you boyz won’t listen. A jump shootin’ team CANNOT win an NBA championship! At some point you gotta put your back to the basket and bang a boy. Why? Because a dun in a loadin’ dock work shirt with 35 keys on his belt will get inside their heads and have a boy throwin’ up foolishness hopin’ it’ll go in. Oh and by the way, those aren't crickets you're hearin' this mornin'. Those are all of the LeBron haters sittin' at the little kid's table.  Stop me when I start lyin’ bruh!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. It whoever I’m talkin’ about or referrin’ to playa and it’s non-gender specific.
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!