Waffles (How Chief Osceola got horse jacked in Compton & Famous Jameis saved the day)

"At Florida State! If we gone do it then! We gone do it BIG!"

I stopped by Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles before heading over to the Rose Bowl and the cooks were in the joint beefin’ about boyz never giving up. Harriet Beecher Stowe, the famous author and abolitionist, said, “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, til it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. All of a sudden Winston Churhill looked her dead in the eye, threw his apron down and said, “Never, never, never give up!”

Chief Osceola and Renegade were sitting at the table next to me listening to the whole thing. They immediately jumped up, ran out of the joint and beat me to Pasadena. By the time I got out of traffic the Seminoles were down 21-3 and Osceola was running around cursing and throwing up waffles. Auburn had been hiding in the bushes when he rode up and horse jacked him.

For more than three quarters the Noles were confused and overwhelmed on both sides of the ball. On offense they were a step slow getting off of the ball and confused as to what kinds of blitz packages these duns from the state of Alabama were running.

On defense the safeties and linebackers were in the twilight zone trying to figure out what ole Nick Marshall and baby De La Soul were doing with that option. They kept blowing coverages all night trying to keep the joint from getting away from them.

Just before the half Chief Osceola found his freakin’ glasses that had been knocked off during the robbery over in a garbage can on the Auburn sideline with Tiger prints all over them. Then the boyz from Tallahassee finally landed a punch to make it 21-10 at the break.

Now that he could see he got into the defenses ear and things started to click. They held Auburn scoreless in the third quarter and Famous Jameis and Co. put up 21 points in the fourth quarter to win it 34-31 as Osceola found Renegade over in Watts at a Crips and Bloods “Keep the Peace Carnival.”

Jameis struggled all night to find his rhythm because every time they snapped the ball boyz were wearing his underwear, jewelry and cologne. What I was trippin’ on was the amount of people that were saying that this cat was choking because he was struggling to complete a pass. He plays quarterback you idiots, not offensive line and wide receiver too. That dun was getting abused all evening and ole dull Kelvin Benjamin couldn’t catch a cold butt naked standing on an iceberg in the middle of the Arctic Ocean with his mouth open.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Famous Jameis won the Heisman in a landslide for a reason bruh. With 1:19 left to play ole boy pulled a Kobe and put boyz on his back and marched 80 yards down the field. He went 6 of 7 in the final minute for 77 of the 80 yards only to find Benjamin for the jump ball in the end zone on a 2 yard touchdown pass to seal the deal. That dun finally put down the popcorn and made a play.

On some real talk, ole dull Timmy Jernigan, the best Florida State defensive lineman on the field, almost cost his boyz the title. That dun was over on the sideline dry heaving waffles for most of the drive that resulted in Tre’ Mason’s 37 yard touchdown to take the lead 31-27 with 1:19 left. Then Mason did the Heisman pose coming off of the field and pointed to himself like he should have won it. Only the real G's caught that though and Jameis pulled his card!

Now back to that dun Jernigan! He was exhausted or just plain full of waffles. I’m not sure because the medical staff wouldn’t keep it real with Ya Boy. But he’s lucky they pulled it out because boyz were gonna be looking square at him as the cat that gave up when Osceola needed him most. Like Vince Lombardi once said, “Exhaustion makes a coward of us all!” If that’s the case, then ole boy was a straight up sissy!

They finally got Renegade cleaned up and the Seminoles rode out of the joint with the crystal ball after all. It was one of the greatest college games we’ve ever seen and Famous Jameis will never have to work a real day in his life. Even after his NFL playing days are long gone he’ll never have to lift a finger. All he has to do is stay in Tallahassee and he’ll live like a king until the day he dies. Free Waffles for everybody wearing garnet and gold today! Congrats to the Seminoles and stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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Beast Mode (By winning the Orange Bowl Clemson showed us just how good FSU really is)

"Unnggh, how they do dat there! South Carolina, how they do dat there!"

As I was cruisin’ down Ocean Drive on South Beach with the top down, I saw the fellas hangin’ out at the Clevelander. As I pulled up I heard these cats discussing the art of battle. George Bernard Shaw said, “In a battle all you need to make you fight is a little hot blood and the knowledge that it’s more dangerous to lose than to win.” Margaret Thatcher poured out a lil’ liquor for all of the dead homies and said, “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” Then Bob Marley sat his Cognac down and sang this, “As a man sow, shall he reap and I know that talk is cheap. But the heat of the battle is as sweet as the victory.”

It was definitely sweet for the Clemson Tigers to get out of the Orange Bowl alive 40-35 on Friday night after going to war with the Ohio State Buckeyes! Both of these cats came to play and it was especially gratifying for the boyz from the state of South Carolina because the last time they showed up in Miami they got mauled by some duns from West Virginia 70-33 because they took a wrong turn in Liberty City.

Tajh Boyd went out on top by putting up 378 yards and five touchdowns on the Buckeyes while Sammy Watkins was in full beast mode with 16 catches for 227 yards. Ole boy was in video game form as the cats from central Ohio had no answer for him.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Ohio State didn’t just lay down playboy and let these boyz go to work on them. After trailing 20-9 in the second quarter they went on a 20 point explosion to go up 29-20 by the 5:50 mark of the third quarter.

I’m not even going to lie bruh, going into this game I just knew Clemson was going to get the brakes beat off of them for one reason! A dun named Brent Venables! He’s the defensive coordinator that left Oklahoma a couple years ago that was simply horrible in BCS bowl games. I just knew he was going to revert back to his old self and give up 1,000 points by doing something goofy. However, he earned that $900,000 pay check by keeping the Buckeyes at bay.

Clemson redeemed itself to some degree from the thrashing that Famous Jameis and Co. put on them in Death Valley earlier this season. On some real talk that tells you just how lethal the Seminoles are playa. I keep hearing these dull talking heads saying that Florida State hasn’t been tested all year and that could be a problem. Has anybody stopped to think for one minute that Florida State could be just that good?

Remember when Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart and Co. were dog walkin’ boyz in 2004 and went on to beat the brakes off of OU 55-19 in the Orange Bowl for the national title. The same OU team that set a record for points scored in a regular season. That’s what you’re about to see again. They’ve got pros at darn near EVERY position and a stud with crazy swagger at quarterback. Ain’t nothin’ you can do with them homeboy.

To go into Death Valley and beat the dog snot off of Tajh Boyd and Co. 51-14 wasn’t a walk in the park. This Clemson team is good! However, the Seminoles are the real deal and I can’t wait to see them take care of business on Monday night!

It won’t take long to decide that joint so you better make sure you’re on time to see it! It’s gonna be like a Mike Tyson fight because if you go to the toilet or show up late you’re going to miss it. Auburn is about to be easy work playboy! Stop me when I start lyin'!

Holla At Ya boy!
JayGravesReport
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Vaccuum Cleaners (How the dull media will try to tell you that you didn't see OU blast Bama)

In my Puff Daddy voice, "Take that! Take that!"

As the fellas and I were walking down Canal Street heading over to Bourbon we ran into these cats wrestling over the subject of delusion. Bodhidharma, the 5th/6th century Buddhist monk, said, “The ignorant mind, with its infinite afflictions, passions and evils, is rooted in the three poisons. Greed, anger and delusion.” Carl Sagan, the astrophysicist, leaned on the ride and said, “It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” Then Arthur Erickson, the famous Canadian architect, took his beads off because some broad saluted him and said, “The delusion of entertainment is devoid of meaning. It may amuse us for a bit, but after the initial hit we are left with the dark feeling of desolation.”

I’m not sure who’s more desolate this morning, the media or the Alabama faithful. You would think that after the Oklahoma Sooners beat the brakes off of them 45-31 in the Sugar Bowl that Alabama fans everywhere would be sick. However, the dull media is even sicker today because they can't keep lyin' to you or can they?

These duns can’t except the fact that Alabama puts its pants on like everybody else. The day after every football fan in America saw Auburn beat these duns in the Iron Bowl the propaganda on why Bama was still the best team in the country rose out of the ashes.

Cats like Colin Cowherd said on his national radio show in front of millions of listeners that Alabama was still ranked No.2 in his poll in front of Auburn regardless of what you and I saw 48 hours before. Then during the buildup to the Sugar Bowl you would have thought that Oklahoma was freakin’ Troy State or somebody.

Now granted, I didn’t think that OU would win the game simply because they didn’t have a quarterback that could throw the football. They’ve been rotating between ole dull Blake Bell, Trevor Knight and Kendall Thompson all season and none of those duns could throw it over their shoulders! So by not having a passing game they would be too easy to defend but if they could put it in the air they had a chance because Bama’s secondary has been suspect even though they had Ha Ha Clinton Dix sitting back there. One cat doesn’t make a secondary bruh!

However, they were still playing Oklahoma playboy! The same duns that have won 7 national championships, that have 5 Heisman Trophies sittin' in the case and 831 wins under its belt coming into this game. The same duns that have beaten Alabama the last two times that they’ve met (2002 & 2003). Not one cat in the national media even brought that up during the week of hype going into this game. I know it happened because I was at both games bruh but these cats want you believe that these duns have been unbeatable forever.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! The only reason Nick Saban is in Tuscaloosa right now is because they were horrible for a few years under ole dull Mike Shula! This thing is cyclical playboy! You don’t run the hood forever. It comes and goes and it’s gone right now for Bama because A.J. McCarron and his fine girlfriend are no more in Tuscaloosa. Quarterbacks like that just don’t just fall out of trees bruh! It’s gonna be awhile before you get another one like that. So in my Whodini voice, "In the mean time and in between time you do yo thang and I'll do mine." because Bama's not the best team in the country today.

I’m not saying that Bama has fallen off. I’m just saying that they’ve got to get in line like every other powerhouse program that goes through cycles of winning national titles.

So just line up behind cats like Florida State, USC, Miami, Oklahoma, Ohio State, Auburn etc. that are back in the hunt because it’s their time to ride on the Merry-go-round now. You can’t ride forever playa and both Auburn and OU have pushed you off regardless of what the dull media tries to tell us today.

So to keep acting like Bama was still the best team in the country was foolish. Even on the pre-game show these duns were saying that they were still the best team in the land because Auburn beat them on a fluke! What?

The fluke was that boyz couldn’t kick field goals all night and couldn’t convert on a fourth and one. The dull field goal return of 109 yards was a culmination of events playboy. Just like the thrashing that they took in New Orleans last night. The best team in the country doesn’t turn the ball over 3 times in the first half that turns into 21 points.

The best team in the country doesn’t have a secondary that has been suspect all season long that’s been hiding behind its front 7. No way does the best team in the country allow a cat that hasn’t thrown but 4 TD’s and put up 471 yards all season to jump out of a birthday cake with a crimson and cream thong on and go 32 of 44 for 348 yards and 4 TD’s in one night.

The best team in the country doesn't give up 7 sacks in one game when they haven't given up but 10 sacks all season! The best team in the country doesn't get beat off of the ball all night by some cats half their size. The best team in the country doesn't have a boy jammed up on a 1st and 30 and give it up like it was a robbery in the projects! The best team in the country doesn't trail for 26:01 the entire season and then trail for 27 minutes the Sugar Bowl! Not the best team in the country in the world I live in playboy!

Stop with this foolishness because you’re trying to sell us vacuum cleaners and we’ve got hardwood floors pimpin’! The best two teams in the country are in LA right now puttin’ in work because they’ll be playing for the national title on Monday night!

I’m surprise that the talking heads didn’t try to swap the score this morning and tell you that you didn’t see what you saw last night like the dull NCAA tries to do. Like they’ll told you that you didn’t see the Fab Five put in work in the early ‘90’s and change the attitude of basketball forever or how they told you that you didn’t see Reggie Bush win the freakin’ Heisman! Yeah, that type of foolishness.

I know some fool is gonna try to convince you that you didn’t see Alabama get the dog snot beat out of them in the Sugar Bowl last night but I’m here to tell you that you saw every freakin’ down of it and that Oklahoma has in fact beaten these duns 3 straight times! Boomer Sooner and stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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Surrealism (How the Big Ten made the dull media look stupid on New Years Day)

"How's that pimpin'?"

Edgar Allen Poe once said, “Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.” Les Brown, the famous motivational speaker, gave it to us like this, “Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.” Then John Lennon shut the building down with, “Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realized that the imagery in my mind wasn’t insanity. Surrealism to me is reality.”

Well playboy, there were a lot of cats dealing in surreal thoughts on New Year’s Day not because they were hung over from the night before but because the Big Ten was a beast in their bowl games.

All year long these media type cats have been selling you wood nickels about how bad the freakin’ Big Ten is and that they can't compete with the elite and so on and so forth. Then these duns show up and go to work on boyz on New Year’s Day!

Michigan State beats Stanford in the Rose Bowl, Nebraska beats ole dull Mark Richt and the Georgia Bull Dogs and LSU barely gets out of the joint alive against ole dull Iowa!

Stop listening to these cats that will try to convince you that certain conferences as a whole are better just because 2 or 3 of the most dominant teams in that conference are running the hood. At the same time stop listening to duns that will tell you that because the bottom half of a conference is terrible then the entire conference sucks!

Let’s keep it real of all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Teams that consistently win have everything to do with the commitment to the program by the university, their coaching staffs and their players! Period! The conference that they play in has nothing to do with why they are successful!

The Big Ten’s top teams are as good as anybody. Teams like Alabama, Florida State and Auburn are what you would call exceptional teams and very few teams would be able to beat them this year regardless of the conferences that they play in.

It’s asinine to suggest that the conference determines the depth of a team’s ability to be elite. Look at Kentucky basketball bruh! They play in the SEC which has traditionally been garbage for decades! They've been the only school in the conference since the beginning of time. Then Florida hit the lottery with a gang of boyz for two years and won the national title but besides that it been horrible.

The Miami Hurricanes back in the day were in the Big East which was atrocious. Think about the Big Eight that Oklahoma and Nebraska played in when they were going all over the country beating the doors off of everybody.

So to say that because Michigan State, Nebraska or Ohio State plays in the Big Ten and that they aren’t as good as these other good teams was foolish because they still played in a major conference and had to win consistently.

Here’s my roof top screamer again, “Now you’re changing your tune Jay! A few years ago you were dogging Boise State because they played in the WAC and now the MWC! What’s up with that?”

Listen you idiot, I’m talking about teams that play in major conferences. Not some dun that plays in the Romp-A-Room division of college football. Also Boise State was a good football team during their run. I never said that they weren’t! I just said that they didn’t deserve to play for a national championship because they hadn’t put in the work of playing solid teams all season. You can’t play 9 cupcakes and then just show up to play for all of the marbles. Wheredeydodatat?

So big props to the Big Ten to undermining these so-called talking heads that know little to nothing about what their talking about! I’m pulling for Ohio State to show up and ball out too!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The Frat GPA (Why the BCS got it right & the bottom feeders in the SEC are bragging)

"We got business to take care of bruh and you in the way!"

On Saturday night after all of the games had been played I stopped by the hood and fell off into the brown bag joint to get something to eat on the way home. Two O.G.’s and an older woman were at a table in the corner arguing about doing the right thing. John F. Kennedy said, “Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future. Martin Luther King Jr. put his cigarette out and said, “The time is always right to do what is right.” Then Eleanor Roosevelt pushed the table over and said, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”

That’s the BCS this morning playboy, it’s always right and the freakin’talking heads spent the entire season trying to convince you that it would explode and chaos would ensue and it never does. It got it right once again pimpin’. The two best teams in the country will play for all of the marbles in Pasadena on January 6^th! Florida State and Auburn pulled into the station as the best two teams when all of the smoke cleared.

Here’s my roof top screamer always hollering and never making sense. “Hold up dawg! You said that Florida State and Ohio State were gonna play for the title. Ohio State just lost to Michigan State!” You’re exactly right playboy and because they lost they no longer deserve to be in the title game. See how that works?

When they were 24-0 they were the 2^nd ranked team in the country behind Florida State and rightfully so. Then they got caught drinking up in Ann Arbor last week and boyz let them get away with a warning. They didn't learn their lesson and showed up in Indy on Saturday night stumbling around downtown and a Spartan driving a green Maserati ran over them when they were crossing the street. They died shortly after 11pm eastern in front of Lucas Oil Stadium with green paint on their face.

Tell Big Momma that we did everything we could to save their life but it just wasn’t mean to be. By dying in the Big Ten championship, the entire picture changed and it put Auburn into the BCS Tile Game. You can’t hate on that bruh. They are the hottest team in the country behind the Seminoles right now and they deserve to be in the game because the Buckeyes couldn’t control their liquor. Auburn’s got one loss but their resume is better than any other one loss team in the country. So they’re in! It’s just that simple.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Losing in the Big Ten title game was probably the best thing that could’ve ever happen to Ohio State. Why? Because you don’t wanna show up to the biggest game of the year with EVERYBODY watching and get the doors blown off of you again. Trust me, I know, because my Sooners ran the table in 2004 and went to title game to play Reggie Bush and Co. in the Orange Bowl and got embarrassed 55-19.

I was jacked up for at least 7 days bruh not because my team loss. But because I had to deal with all of the duns that saw my team lose playboy that had something to say about it! So consider this a blessing because EVERYBODY wasn’t watching the Big Ten championship. So you can go away peacefully under the radar without boyz throwing bottles at you.

Now what blows my mind is that duns from Kentucky started tweeting me last night screaming SEC, trying to prop up their affiliation to some cats that don’t even want them around. Kentucky is the dun in the car that boyz have to give a ride home because they live in the neighborhood but nobody talks to. They’re like the sick dog that boyz don’t wanna pay good money to put down so they take them for that infamous last ride but it keeps finding its way back home. They’re like the dun in the frat that keeps bringing the GPA down but is always at the party with a T-shirt on stepping like crazy. He’s in it for the props and the women but isn’t puttin’ in the any work. They call that a crab where I’m from playa.

Stop hollering SEC when you’ve never contributed to the success of the conference bruh! Like I’ve been saying for years, the top of the SEC is loaded and are carrying the rest of those duns. The same cats keep winning, LSU, Alabama, Florida and Auburn. Those 7 straight BCS championships were won by these 4 cats only not by 7 different schools or the entire conference. On some real talk, 5 or those 7 were won by 2 cats! Alabama won 3 and Florida won 2! So stop with the SEC chanting if you aren’t one of those schools.

By saying that the SEC has won 7 straight titles is a fallacy playboy! For those of you that don't know what that is, it's something that is truth but not necessarily truth. For example, it's like saying that people in the projects steal. Johnny lives in the projects therefore he steals. Teams from the SEC have won 7 straight championships. However, not all of them have won a championship. I do have a degree playboy from Indiana University while you're sittin' there hatin' on my writing style!

Side note: If 50% of the people in the room aren't hatin' on you! You need to step you're game up pimpin'! Let's move on!

Clowns that attach themselves to someone else's success are like the fool that lets his boy pay for the buffet at Shoney’s and then eats off of his plate. I saw an Ole Miss fan high fiving a Vandy fan as a cat from Miss State pulls up with some duns from Kentucky, Tennessee, South Carolina and Mizzou in the ride talking trash. They were all going to a boy from Texas A&M’s crib that's married to a girl from Georgia to celebrate the success of the SEC. When they got there somebody said put the championship rings on the table that have been won over the past 50 years and you heard two coins fall and some lent hit the table. Georgia had one (1980) and Tennessee had one (1998). Everybody else just stood there looking crazy.

Big props to both Florida State and Auburn for representin’ and making the college football season worth watching once again! In my Bart Scott voice, “Can’t Wait” until January 6^th. And if you run into some dun hollerin’ SEC and he’s not an LSU, Bama, Florida or Auburn fan, tell him to stop bringing the frat GPA down, take off that dull shirt. and start puttin' in some work. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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Y'all Ain't Listenin'! (Why the dull media tried to carjack the BCS & got jacked by Auburn)

"JayGravesReport tried to tell you playboy but you wouldn't listen!"

Epictetus, the Greek philosopher, once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Winston Churchill leaned over in a boy’s ear and said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” Then the big homie, Ernest Hemingway, stood up and said, “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

In my Kevin Hart voice, “Y’all gone learn now!” Stop listening to these dull media cats out here and start listening to Ya Boy! I’m the only one that’s gonna keep it real with you but you should know that by now. Pull the tape playa! I told you at the beginning of November that it was upset time in college football.

These dull talking heads started trying to convince you that 5 or 6 teams were going to pull into the gate undefeated and create BCS Armageddon like they always do. I told you boyz that Oregon was going down vs. Stanford and you wouldn’t listen. I told you that Baylor was gonna hit the bricks against Oklahoma State but you blew me off. Then I told you that Bama was going down in the Iron Bowl and you laughed. If you think I’m lyin’ pull the tape pimpin’! Here you go bruh pop the hood to "College Football Weekly Previews" and check out a real playa work!

It’s college football playboy! It’s the greatest game known to man for one reason. Why? Because of the upsets that occur in November!! The best predictor of future behavior is to look at past behavior. If you’ve been around this game for more than a year you would already know that bruh.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Stop listening to duns that make a living off of creating hypothetical foolishness. As long as they get you to believe that the BCS is garbage, you’ll keep listening to their foolish reasons as to why certain teams shouldn’t play in the title game i.e. Ohio State.

As long as they’ve got you sucker punched, you’ll believe that a team that hasn’t lost a game in two years playing in a major conference shouldn’t play for a national title if they beat Michigan state next week.

The danger isn’t in the art of listening. It’s in listening to fools that know nothing about what their talking about. The only difference between Florida being 4-8 and Ohio State being 24-0 is Urban Meyer! Not the Big 10 vs. the SEC because he was stuntin’ boyz while he was down there too.

The reason that Alabama has been dragging boyz all over the field for the past 5 years isn’t because of Alabama! It’s because of Nick “freakin” Saban bruh! When he leaves, the faucet will shut off for a few years until they come up on another genius. This thing is cyclical playa. You can't win forever!

These media cats will sell you wooden nickels in a minute. For example, now that A. J. McCarron has gone down these media types are on a mad search to find somebody else to give the freakin’ Heisman to this morning. Who came up with the ignorant rule that if you lose a ball game you’re now longer a great player?

Johnny Football is by far the most outstanding player in college football. He has better numbers this year than he had last year. However, he doesn’t play defense. When he lost to Bama earlier in the season, even though he destroyed Bama offensively, he didn’t play defense. Boyz grabbed the trophy and sprinted down to Tallahassee to give it Famous Jameis. Then they put the horse head in his bed and the powers that be are slow walking the decision to charge him or not until the voting is darn near over to keep him from winning the joint. Even though in this country you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty.

Then they ran down to Tuscaloosa to give it to A.J. but he wasn’t on the field goal unit to stop a boy from going 109 yards to upset the Tide at dull Toomer’s Corner. So know they're trying to sell you on ole boy Andre Williams from Boston College.

They didn’t even know that duns name two weeks ago but know he’s a Heisman finalist. My bad, he got hurt yesterday so now they’re looking for somebody else to give it to. I guess they'll run down to Orlando to see if Mickey Mouse wants it now. 

Now that everybody has lost a game are they gonna reshuffle the deck and start over? Absolutely! Why? Because the whole Heisman situation is foolishness because you’ve got duns voting that know nothing about the game and what a great football player actually looks like.

The only cats that should have a Heisman vote are the duns that actually own one and a select few retired coaches. Why are there more than 900 people voting for the Heisman and half of them couldn’t tell you the difference between trips to the right and an I-formation? Because the media controls the minds of the masses not just in sports but is every aspect of life. Why? Because very few people think for themselves and will listen to any fool with a mic. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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Natural Order (Baylor goes down to retore order to this foolishness created by the media)

"I wonder if that 10 is still gonna answer the phone tonight? Doubt it!"

When I fell into this house party in the projects I heard these cats in the corner talking about order. Thomas Merton, the famous writer and poet said, “Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” Bill Cosby put his Jello down and said, “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” Then his homeboy Albert Einstein got deep on them and said, “Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction because of the variety of factors in operation, not because of any lack of order in nature.”

At some point you duns are gonna to start listening to me when I say that there will be no chaos in the BCS bruh! Stop hangin’ on every word of these clown talking heads on sports radio and TV telling you that the BCS is a mess and that chaos will ensue. Every year they start this foolishness by telling you that there will be 4 or 5 undefeated teams pulling into the gate and you fall for it.

Well... I’ve got a time share in Gary, In. with palm trees in a safe neighborhood where you never have to lock your doors at night and the gangstas will feed you breakfast in bed and take your garbage out if you believe that pimpin’.

Several weeks ago I told you to just sit in the cut and wait for all of these boyz to start falling. Why? Because it’s November and it happens all of the time! We saw Baylor, as I predicted in my weekly preview, get the doors blown off of them in Stillwater on Saturday night 49-17. We saw the Parliament Funkadelic (Oregon) get beat by Stanford a couple of weeks ago, as I predicted as well.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! It ain’t over yet playboy! Somebody else will get eaten by the jaws of defeat in the next couple of weeks too. Y’all already know that I’ve been saying that Ohio State and Florida State will play for the title because they’ve got the easiest route over the last few weeks.

Bama will be probably go down at ole dull Toomer’s Corner this weekend in the Iron Bowl and it’ll be settled. But if they don’t somebody else will. Only two boyz will be left standing as usual.

The BCS gets it right every year but these fools will run game on you because you keep falling for. All we ever wanted to see was No.1 play No.2 and now we’ve got that. Before 1998 when the BCS was put together No.1 Alabama would have had to play in the Sugar Bowl and No.2 Florida State would have had to play in the Orange Bowl because of the contracts the bowls had with the conferences.

No.3 Ohio State, on the other hand, would have had to play in the Rose Bowl against the PAC12 or then PAC10. So they wouldn’t play each over and if No.1 and No.2 would have won their respective bowl games they would split the title and we’d spend the next year arguing about who would have won the joint. Now they are playing each other.

However, we’ve still got boyz are complaining. Why? Because the dull media wants more control of the game. Back in 2003 (actually the 2004 Sugar Bowl) LSU and Oklahoma played for the BCS National Championship where Nick Saban’s LSU Tigers won the joint.

However, the dull Associated Press got mad and named USC their national champ and they didn’t even play in the freakin’ game. How do I know? Because I was there playboy! Let me break it down for you!

At that time the BCS was heavily based on strength of schedule and margin of victory. There was very little human influence involved because the thought was to take the human element out to make it fair. So Oklahoma was ranked No.1 most of the season because they were beating the doors off of boyz and had the toughest strength of schedule. They lost in the Big 12 Championship Game to dull Kansas State as Darren Sproles went to work on them.

Because OU was so far out in front of the rest of the pack they only fell to No.2 and got into the BCS Title Game anyway. So the Associated Press got mad and took their ball and named USC the champ acting like some scorned broads.

Ever since then they have been trying to run game on you. Now they’ve got boyz thinking that there is going to be a 4 team playoff next year that will be better. It’s gonna be 4 teams that a group of people will still be VOTING on to play. That’s not better bruh. It’s the same! The only difference is that No. 5 and No.6 are gonna be upset now.

To make it worse you’ve got duns that are currently affiliated with schools and conferences VOTING on who gets in not the media. That ain’t better! That's GANGSTA! At least the BCS would let the natural order of things happen and let boyz fall apart on their own just like Baylor did last night. Now you'll have duns in a room with money under the table picking and choosing who plays for all of the marbles because you fell for the Oakey Doke!

 If you want REAL sports commentary and not this foolishness that these cats are spittin’ keep up with Ya Boy and stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!
 

Big Perm! "LSU 17 Bama 38" (Why Bama is so Dominant in the Hood!)

"Hey bruh? You gotta give that up! We run this!"

Robert Frost sat quietly as boyz argued in the barber shop about being dominant and controlling the hood. Then he stood up and shut the building down with, “The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.”

The Alabama Crimson Tide must have been in the shop that morning because they’ve taken that advice and run with it. A.J. McCarron and Co. walked into Bryant-Denny Stadium on Saturday evening and took care of business once again by blowing the doors off of the LSU Tigers 38-17.

Now on some real talk they didn’t just man handle these boyz. They were methodical in going to work. It was knotted up at 17 in the third quarter but that’s the illusion that catches boyz off guard when playing Alabama. Nick Saban calls it the “Process!” It’s all of the things that go into the preparation of the joint and believing in the system that’s in place. Don’t panic just do your assignments and the process will take care of itself.

LSU came out with all of the confidence in the world and drove down the field on their first possession like they owned the joint. Did Bama panic? Not at all! They understood that it’s a process and that things always work out when you’re handling your business. As LSU’s J.C. Copeland is literally walking into the end zone he’s stripped by a Bama defender working the process! That turnover, although it was early, killed them. That woke up the monster that needed to eat bruh!

There is a reason why these boyz have won 3 out of the last 4 BCS National Championships! They believe in the “Process!” They are the most disciplined team in all of college football. You aren’t going to beat them. They’re going to beat themselves. LSU played well in Tuscaloosa but they didn’t play well enough to win playboy because you can’t turn the freakin’ ball over at all against the Tide! Let alone twice! They gave it up again and that buried them in an “Imp the Dimp the ladies Pimp” suit with some old school stacks hangin’ out of the casket.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Alabama has been so dominant in the hood that most boyz just start coming out of their jewelry and sneakers before they even pull up. They’re rolling up on cats and telling them to run that bruh and going to the crib. They’re the Big Perm (Worm) of college football! At least LSU put up a fight before giving up the Jordan’s.

The advice that Robert Frost gave them in the barber shop was the real deal. It’s not that Bama is so dominant; it’s because boyz are afraid to death of them. Well…let me take that back, they have been dominant but they are beatable. You just have to play the perfect game to do it and there aren’t too many cats out there that are up for the challenge.

Now I will say this, I know some boyz in the hood that are tired of runnin’ their sneakers and jewelry that can’t wait for them to “Roll” down their street in three weeks. Ole dull Auburn! The tigers are rolling right now with only 1 loss with a stable of running backs and a dual threat quarterback that is the real deal. Here’s the problem looming in the background for Bama playa. They’ve got to go over to Auburn’s hood to settle the beef this year. Can the “Process” hold up when emotions are high in a rivalry game of that magnitude? We’ll see because somebody’s gotta give up the sneakers and I can’t wait to see which one goes home shoeless. Safe money says Auburn leaves with slippers on bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!
 

It's Goin' Down (The Parliament Funkadelic is out)

One down several more to go playboy!

General George S. Patton was rolling dice in the barber shop when he said, “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.” Martin Luther King Jr. jumped out of the big body Chevy, turned the music down and said, “Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.” Then William Shakespeare took of squig of that old school Mad Dog 20/20 and said, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

I’ve been telling you boyz for weeks now that in November College Football gets crazy! Why? Because it always does! All of these dull media cats out here keep trying to sell you on the chaos that will ensue at the end of the season when 5 teams pull into the gate undefeated. Here’s the problem playboy, it NEVER happens! Well, not with legitimate major conference teams that should be playing for the title.

If you paid attention to My College Football Weekly Preview this week I told you that upsets were on the horizon and that the Parliament Funkadelic (Oregon Ducks) was going down at Stanford. What happened pimpin’? The Parliament Funkadelic went down hard by the dun in the tree costume 26-20!

Am I a freakin’ wizard? Not at all! I’ve just been around this game my entire life that’s all. If you’ve been around college football for more than 3 years you already know that boyz are gonna fall late in the season but these media cats are banking on you not thinking for yourself. So they sit up and bash the BCS because it took their COMPLETE power away from them to VOTE on who they want to win the title.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! When the BCS was first instituted these cats were hot because it changed their level of control in this thing. Then a couple of years into the joint somebody with actually a brain said let’s add to the computers strength of schedule, margin of victory to determine who plays.

That made all of the sense in the world because duns like Boise State and the BYU’s of the world playing soft schedules had no shot at getting in. Remember in 1984 when BYU won the national title after beating a 6-5 Michigan team in the freakin’ Holiday Bowl? That’s when they had complete control. The BCS finally took that foolishness away.

Keep in mind playboy that there are 120 teams in the FBS and there are probably 5 different levels of play. So it’s impossible to have a legitimate playoff that includes EVERYBODY. So the only way you’ll get one is by boyz voting!

The computers made it easy at the time because it took personal bias out of the equation. Then in 2003 Oklahoma was beating the brakes off of boyz and playing the toughest schedule in the country at the time according to the computers. Then they got beat by Kansas State in the Big 12 title game but still made it to the national championship to play LSU. Why? Because the computers weren’t thinking, they were spitting the unbiased truth on strength of schedule and margin of victory.

Then the dull Associated Press at that point pulled out of the BCS and named USC the national champion even though LSU won the freakin’ game! I know because I was there playboy! Then the powers that be took strength or schedule and margin of victory out of the equation and that’s why Alabama keeps winning the national title. Even with a loss last year they got in with a weak schedule. Why? Because the helmet says SEC. Not SEC West and the cupcakes that they played all season. If strength of schedule were still a dominant factor in the equation we wouldn’t be talking about them because their schedule has been dull for the past two years.

The SEC is smart though! While everybody else is jockeying for position and trying not to fall victim to an upset late in the season these duns in the SEC are playing cupcakes because they know that the media is gonna vote them in regardless because of reputation. Alabama is playing Chattanooga week 13 bruh not week 1! LSU played Furman last week to prepare for Alabama. Florida is playing Georgia Southern on November 23^rd! Ole dull Georgia is playing Appalachian State this week! Why? Because strength of schedule doesn’t count like it did before. But ole dull Paul Finebaum will tell you that Ohio State’s schedule is too weak to even be considered even if they run the table and these boyz haven’t lost a game in darn near two years.

If Urban Myer were coaching against the same dull strength of schedule and he was in the SEC West like Alabama is playing in right now they’d be the No.1 team in the country without question. But because people don’t think for themselves and these media cats can tell them whatever they want to and folks will believe it.

They’ve got everybody thinking that the 4 team playoff coming in 2014 will be the best thing since sliced bread and the freakin’ Soul Glo jheri curl on Sexual Chocolate. What they didn’t tell you is that the process is still gonna be subjective with some cats sitting in a room VOTING on who gets in! Get this; most of the people on the panel are affiliated with conferences and schools directly. So what’s gonna stop a boy from the Big Ten from voting for Ohio State on GP? What’s gonna stop a booster from filling a boyz pocket for their vote! Is that better? I doubt it! But let these clown media cats tell it, it is.

All I’ve got to say is sit in the cut the next few weeks and watch boyz fall. Nobody is talking about the major hurdle that the Iron Bowl presents for Alabama because Auburn is looming in the background with 1 loss. Ohio State still has to play in the Big Ten title game against the No.1 defense in the country in Michigan State and Baylor still has 3 legit games left to play (Texas Tech, Oklahoma State and Texas)! While Florida State will meet whoever is still left standing in Cali pimpin’! In their Ice Cube voice, “Westside!!!!” Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption is REAL today and its REAL talk! 

Gasoline Draws (Florida State blasts the U 41-14)

"We BAAACK playboy!"

Walt Disney once said, “I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn’t know how to get along without it.” General George S. Patton stood up and said, “Battle is the most magnificent competition which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood.” Then Mr. Willie, down at the car wash, kept it simple by saying, “ Either you gone compete for 4 quarters or you gone get embarrassed in front of Big  Momma!”

Well playboys… that’s exactly what happened to the Miami Hurricanes on Saturday night in Tallahassee. They showed up for the heated rivalry game against their homeboys literally and forgot to bring a full tank of Crunk Juice and got the brakes beat off of them 41-14!

It was 21-14 Florida State at the break and boyz were settling in for a good old fashion “Wide Left or Right” joint but all of a sudden ole boy Anthony Chickillo a defensive end from Miami tried to pull a fast one and make it look like Bobby Hart from Florida State was the aggressor in a squab at the bottom of the pile midway through the 3rd quarter.

Yeah I know all of the dull media analysts, that grew up in the suburbs and can’t check a fight with one eye, were saying that Bobby Hart was the dun that started it. Therefore, the cameras followed him all the way to the sideline where Jimbo Fisher was giving him the business and Famous Jameis was rappin’ to him etc. But on some real talk, ole boy, Chickillo, had him by the face mask and wouldn’t let him go.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Chickillo lit the match and threw it into the crib with newspaper everywhere. Right after the squab Florida State went on a 20-0 run and didn’t look back bruh! When you’re walking through the forest with gasoline draws on you can’t be smoking!

It’s a rivalry game already! You’re playing against duns that you went to kindergarten with, played Pop Warner, junior high and high school with and against and you decide to light the freakin' cigarette while you're swimming in gasoline bruh? It’s a wonder they only put 41 points on Miami.

Even though Famous Jameis threw two picks his leadership on the field was ridiculous. Having a leader at the quarterback position at this level is invaluable. When he threw the picks he still kept it movin’ and boyz kept believing in him. He still put up 325 yards and a touchdown!

It’s a whole lot easier not to panic when you’ve got first round picks all over the field too! Florida State is loaded and like I’ve been saying since last year even before they stumbled against ole dull NC State, the Seminoles are BAAAAAACK!

Now boyz are finally seeing what I’ve been saying! In the three games that they’ve played against Top 25 competition they’ve outscored them 155-28! That’s back playboy! All I’m sayin’ is, put it down; these duns will play for a national title this year because they’re going full speed downhill with no brakes! They’re like a runaway train in the night, just stay off of the tracks and you'll be just fine.

The question is, who's gonna play them? Alabama still has LSU and possibly the SEC Title Game left. The Parliament Funkadelic (Oregon) has Stanford this Thursday and possibly a PAC 12 Title Game left. Ohio State still has “The Game” (Michigan) the last week of November and the Big 10 Title game with possibly Michigan State that sitting at 8-1 with the No. 1 defense in the country! Ole dull Baylor has Oklahoma Thursday night as well. Out of all of those boyz left standing, Florida State has the best shot at continuing to run the table.

Its November playboys and you know what happens in November! Boyz start crashin’ and burnin’ bout this time! That’s what makes college football so exciting! Just pull up a chair and watch these cats start falling apart, it's inevitable bruh! We're not gonna have 4 or 5 clowns run the table! Why? Because its college football! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Rolling Deep! (Florida State blasts Clemson51-14)

"We got this playa! Don't even trip!"

Soren Kierkegaard, the profound writer of Danish's "golden age", once said, "Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts." James Allen, the British philosophical writer, broke it down like this, "You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration." Earl Nightingale, motivational speaker, was choppin' it up with the fellas when he said, "The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts." Then Big Momma shut the building down with, "Baby...you can do and be whatever you wanna be!"

On Saturday the Florida State Seminoles wanted to be the best team in the building and showed up in Death Valley with a death wish for the duns that call it home. It was billed as the biggest matchup in ACC history and it became one of the biggest blowouts of top 5 opponents we've seen in a while. Florida State led by Famous Jameis Winston beat the mess out of Clemson 51-14! And that was the edited version!

I usually say that boyz got the breaks beat off of them or that they got the doors blown off of them but this was much worse. Clemson was chillin' in the 3rd spot talking mad noise about sitting in the BCS cat bird seat and by the time Chief Osceola and Renegade finished puttin' that thang on 'em they needed dental records to identify boyz!

The redshirt freshman, Famous Jameis, walked into a hostile environment and put up 444 yards and 3 touchdowns. When asked how he felt about the noise at Death Valley he responded like only a G would, "We don't play against noise! We're playing against the Clemson Tigers!"

When they kicked off there were 83,428 duns in orange screaming at the top of their lungs and by the end of the joint they simply understood what a top 1,2 or 3 team is supposed to look like! On some real talk playboy, Florida State and the Parliament Funkadelic (Oregon) have looked better that any other teams in the country! 

Say what you want to about Bama but these boyz right here, are rolling deep! They've been impressive every week so far. Bama's winning but they haven't looked this good because they've played down the to competition every week except the Arkansas game. I'm expecting the SEC to cannibalize itself anyway. The way it's going nobody is going to run the table in the SEC and there will be two cats standing with unblemished records! 

The best candidates to run the table are Ohio State, the Parliament Funkadelic and Florida State right now. Don't trip because it always works itself out! One of those duns are going to fall by seasons end too. So Just sit in the cut and wait for it because it's gonna happen! 

Question is, "Is Florida State ready for the challenge because it just got "Turnt Up" when they went to Clemson and took their dignity, their girl and their new retro Jordans bruh! Now the bulls eye is on their backs! Now can they be some real G's and run the table? 

Remember last year they were rolling and they fell asleep at the wheel against ole dull NC State and boyz pushed them out of the ride. The media and the computers can be fickle bruh so the only way to keep them happy is to win! 

Ima keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The only team in the country that keeps getting passes with one loss and a dull schedule is Alabama! They had probably the WORSE schedule in the history of sports last year and got in and if there is a question this year with a bunch of one loss boyz again, they'll get in again with an equally bad schedule. So before you trip Florida State just win the freakin' games! 

If y'all get tired in the middle of the night pull over. Because you can't afford to crash the Bentley into the guard rail and you're almost at the crib! Y'all know the drill, most accidents happen within 1.4 miles from the house! Florida State is in the zip code so boyz better turn the music up, let down the windows and stop hollerin' at the broads walking down the street. Keep both hands on the wheel and do it BIG because you can't even afford to knick the paint on that joint at all! Stop me when I start lyin! 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
Jay Graves 
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
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The quote under the caption isn't real but its REAL talk!    

Wide Brim Gangsta (Oklahoma 20 Texas 36)

"Now we just gotta get the gators to match bruh!"

Eric Davis, the former football star, once said, “Never give up and don’t ask why because every situation doesn’t need an answer. I’m a firm believer that I don’t worry about anything I can’t control.” Harriet Beecher Stowe, the famous abolitionist, broke it down like this, “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” Then ole Arthur Golden, the famous writer, got up and said, “Never give up; for even rivers someday wash dams away.”

Well the river was flowing for the Texas Longhorns down in Big D on Saturday playboy! With all of the speculation that if Mac Brown had gotten the doors blown off of him in the Red River Rivalry that he would be fired didn’t in my Big Momma voice, “make him no never mind.” If my man had listened to all of the talking heads including me he would have shown up in Dallas with his bags packed and had already put the “For Sale” sign out in front of the crib.

However, the coach with the 2^nd most wins in Texas football history behind the legendary Darrell Royal, who went to Oklahoma I might add, had his Longhorns ready to play on Saturday. They merely went out and beat the dog snot out of the Sooners 36-20 and believe me playboy the score wasn’t even close to being indicative of the beat down that they put on the boyz from up north of the Red River.

The Longhorns started the season 1-2 and have now rattled off 3 straight and sit on top of the Big 12 at 3-0. On some real talk, it’s Texas bruh! They’ve got talent! There are more Division 1 prospects in the state of Texas than in any other state in the country. So don’t think that these boys can’t play ball.

I don’t know what they were drinking, smoking, injecting, snorting or inhaling before the BYU and Ole Miss games but they weren’t doing it in Dallas when Oklahoma showed up, I ‘ll tell you that. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! To be able to win in this game football you’ve got to have good quarterback play and Oklahoma has been false flagging all season long to even show up 5-0.

Blake Bell the “Belldozer” can’t throw the ball over his shoulder so the offense is limited and that’s a shame for an Oklahoma team. The defense can’t stop a runny nose or run in a pair of pantyhose bruh and the corners can’t their own butts let alone another cats. It’s terrible but they’ve been either escaping ball games or like in the Notre Dame game they were given the joint because of turnovers.

I’d say it’s a good thing that these boyz were finally exposed because the last thing you wanna do is show up in a BCS bowl game and get the breaks beat off of you while everybody is watching. I know y’all remember the 2005 Orange Bowl when USC hung 55 on them boyz to win the national title. The same joint that the NCAA is trying to tell us that we didn’t see because Reggie Bush was ruled ineligible after the fact? Yeah that joint! During the regular season duns can hide because there are other games on but during the holidays it’s like Tupac, “All Eyes On Me.”

When Texas went up 10-3 in the 1^st quarter ole Bevo put his horns back on and took those dull slippers off he’d been wearing all week. By the time they went up 29-13 he had on some orange gators and an orange wide brim gangsta with a cow named Sweetie under his arm talking $100 worth of noise bumpin’ that Biggie, “It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up Magazine, Salt-N-Peppa and Heavy D up in the limousine.”

If Mac can pull off a Big 12 title he’ll be wearing some gators down the stretch too. I got a boy up in Detroit that can hook him up too. All real playas and gangsta have to have at least one pair in their arsenal my dude! If Mac runs the table he’ll be a bonifide gangsta and rockin’ a pair would be mandatory! I can run him up to the Chi to get him a mean wide brim gangsta too. But for right now the Golden Hat will do. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk! 

College Football Weekly Wrap Up: Week 6!

 

Week 6 Wrap!

Y'all know how we get it in! So let's get it in!

 Winners in Bold

1) #25 Maryland 0 vs. #8 Florida State 63 (W) 

2) #10 LSU 59 vs. Miss State 26 (W)

3) #22 Arizona State 34 vs. Notre Dame 37 (L)

4) #4 Ohio State 40 vs. #16 Northwestern 30 (W)

5) #15 Washington 28 vs. #5 Stanford 31 (W) 

This week Ya Boy was 4-1! So on the season I'm 22-8!

 

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport

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Famous Jameis (The Next Big Thing)

"Get off me son! I got work to do playboy!"

Chanakya, the ancient Indian philosopher, once said, “A man is great by deeds not by birth.” Eleanor Roosevelt gave it to us like this, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Then Winston Churchill pulled up with the system bangin’, sittin’ on 24’s and said, “All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.”

Well…I’ll have to disagree with ole Eleanor when she says that small minds discuss people because if you ain’t talkin’ about Famous Jameis Winston this morning your mind is mush. And Winston must have been bumpin’ that music way too loud because he forgot to say the single word "Jameis" when he jumped out of the whip discussing great things.

On Saturday down at Doak Campbell Stadium the #25 Maryland Terrapins rolled in trying to look like the Parliament Funkadelic but they forgot two things. The talent and the funky music because the real Funk is played in Eugene! For those reasons they got the doors blown off of them 63-0 but not before Jameis Winston went 23-32 for 393 yards and 5 touchdowns in 3 quarters bruh!

I’ve been telling you cats since the 1^st week of the season that Famous Jameis was the next big thing when I saw this dun completely destroy Pitt by going 25 of 27 for 356 yards, 4 TD’s and one of those incompletions was a cat stepping out of bounds.

I can hear some fool saying, “It was Pitt bruh! He’s supposed to destroy them!” If you know what you’re looking for in great players it doesn’t matter who they’re playing playa. For a boy to complete nearly every pass he lets go is ridiculous. Here this clown goes again, “Well his receivers have to catch the ball!” Yeah you idiot but it’s all about where he puts the football. This dun was putting it into places that only the receiver could catch it. At that moment he could have bought his ticket to New York for the Heisman ceremony. The only way he doesn’t win that joint is if the Seminoles fall asleep at the wheel before they vote.

I know that you’ve still got duns like Georgia’s Aaron Murray, Alabama’s A.J. McCarron, A&M’s Johnny Football and Louisville’s Teddy Touchdown still bangin every week but none of those cats have been as impressive has Famous Jameis week in and week out! I know Bridgewater is showing out too but the voters are gonna hate on him because he’s playing in a make shift conference this season before Louisville goes to the ACC next year. That will hurt him for sure, not that I agree with it but the Heisman vote is a media bias' dream. You know how these dull media cats do.

Also keep in mind that all of these duns won't go undefeated. So as boyz fall off Famous Jameis will elevate to the top of the charts!

Jameis hasn't struggled at all this season and he’s been a man among boyz in every game playboy. He’s thrown for 1,441 yards, 17 TD’s with only 2 interceptions and has completed 73% of his passes. The real story isn’t in the total yards or the touchdowns my dude. It’s in the completion percentage because he’s not playing the entire games because they’re blasting boyz. He could be well over 2,000 yards by now if he was playing the entire 4 quarters every week. I’m just sayin’! In the world of college football, just as in the NFL, winning and losing is determined by quarterback play and for that reason Florida State is back!

The difference between teams like Florida State and Louisville is that the Seminoles have studs all over the field. The talent is off of the charts and the depth is crazy. Don’t sleep on these boyz because by week 10 or 11 that’s all you’re going to hear about. So you can thank Ya Boy for turning you on to the real now! The Florida State Seminoles are back led by Famous Jameis Winston!!!

Last year they fell asleep at the wheel by losing to ole dull NC State and they completely fell off of the radar. This year they’ve got better quarter back play because ole boy doesn’t turn it over like E.J. Manual used to do. Get your buffalo wings and beer ready because they’re on a collision course in two weeks to play Tajh Boyd and Co. down in Death Valley which should be classic.  

Ima keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! If you ain’t up on Famous Jameis you’re still wearing hammer pants, penny loafers and leg warmers all at the same time bruh! I know that Johnny Football, Aaron Murray, A.J. McCarron and boyz like Teddy Bridgewater are vogue to sit around the barber shop and talk about but you gotta be up on the next big thing and it doesn’t get any bigger than Famous Jameis right now!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk! 

College Football Weekly Wrap Up: Week 5!

 

Weekly Wrap Up: Week 5!

 

Y'all Know how we get it in! So let's get it in!

Winners in Bold

1) #23 Wisconsin 24 vs. #4 Ohio State 31 (W)

2) #21 Ole Miss 0 vs. #1 Alabama 25 (W)

3) #8 Florida State 48 vs. Boston College 34 (W)

4) #14 Oklahoma 35 vs. #22 Notre Dame 21 (L)

5) #6 LSU 41 vs. #9 Georgia 44 (L)
 

I went 3-2 this week bringing my season record to 18-7! I should have gone with my heart and went with the Sooners but who would have known that Blake Bell would be able to throw the football and Mickey Mouse would be calling plays for Notre Dame? LSU's defense obviously didn't made the trip from Baton Rouge and Georgia's defense stayed at the team hotel playing video games! What can you do playboy? 

 

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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Tradition (Sooners roll over Irish)

"Thank you Sir! May I have another!"

Mason Cooley, the famous aphorist, once said, “Preserving tradition has become a nice hobby, like stamp collecting.” Winston Churchill got up and shouted, “Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a shepherd. Without innovation, it is a corpse.” Then my man Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company, shut the building down when he said, “We don’t want tradition. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker’s dam is the history we make today.”

Well, the Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish were so drenched in tradition on Saturday that they forgot that the Oklahoma Sooners were rolling into town and took an “L” 35-21 that they didn’t have to take. Tradition isn’t just about honoring all of the great Notre Dame players that walked the campus in South Bend but its about understanding what works and what doesn’t.

All props to the Sooners on Saturday for ending a 7 game losing streak against the Irish that dates back to 1957 when ND ended Oklahoma’s NCAA record 47 game winning streak 6-0. The Sooners are only 2-11 all-time against the Irish.

Don't think that OU came in like some bums! There are the winningest college football program in America since 1950 playboy! They've won 7 national titles & 5 Heisman trophies too pimpin'! So it wasn't like it was Little Sisters of the Poor rollin' in!

ND had the nerve to even have some of those old dudes from that 1957 team at the game too! It was unbelievable to see them still getting around! On some real talk, I wanted to run out on the field and tackle one of those duns but the escape routes weren’t very good. I wasn’t trying to get jammed up in South Bend for tackling some old dude that could probably still get it in.

In the first 2 minutes and 45 seconds of the game some dun forgot the tradition of blocking and left Tommy Reese’s backside naked as OU linebacker Eric Striker nailed him popping the ball straight up into the air for Corey Nelson to take to the house. Then on the very next Irish possession and play from scrimmage Reese forgot the tradition of making good decisions when he forced the joint and got it picked by Frank Shannon! Four plays later these boyz were down 14 points before the Leprechaun even put his girdle on and put out his Black & Mild!

Did you see that cat bruh? Now they were sticklers for tradition down to the freakin’ letter up there but somebody forgot to make the Leprechaun make weight for Saturday’s showdown. Or the Sooners must have kidnapped the real mascot and had him tied up in a Brooklyn basement because this dun looked like he was struggling to breath out there. His jock snapped twice in the 1^st half before they told him not to even worry about it. You know how a boy’s shoes start leaning over and kissing the pavement because they’re exhausted? That was ole boy on Saturday!

The Irish also forgot the tradition of just running the football! They were gashing the OU defense on the ground all day long (220 yards total) but kept going away from it. When it was 14-7 the Irish found themselves in the red zone threatening to tie the joint up before the half. Then all of a sudden Mickey Mouse started calling plays! Reese forces another pass that gets picked and Oklahoma being a good team turned that joint into points just minutes later!

Now it’s 21-7 and the Leprechaun is on a breathing treatment on the sideline and his shoes have given up on him. He’s got on Big Momma’s old tore up house shoes at this point playa. You know the ones that she never picks up while she’s walking and all you hear are them sliding down the hall before she beats the brakes off of you for knocking over the her fake porcelain dolls in the living room.

From that point on it was a game of keep away. Notre Dame looked good on defense and running the football but they were so drenched in tradition that they kept losing sight of it. The Sooners made zero mistakes and played a good ball game. Now even though Blake Bell went 22-30 for 232 yards and 2 TD’s it was all a dream like Biggie would say. He still can’t throw the ball over his shoulder. Give props to the OU coaching staff for calling joints that he could handle like bubble screens and short dips over the middle. They made him look like Sam Bradford at least on paper.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Tradition has its place and I think that it’s important to make sure that the past is never forgotten. However, these duns at Notre Dame don’t understand that that means celebrating the history of the program not by keeping the freakin’ stadium held hostage by it.

In all of my years of going to football games all over this country. I’ve never seen a stadium that didn’t have a jumbo-tron for instant replay in the modern era. So when there is either a good or bad play nobody gets to see it again! Therefore, the fans sit and complain about what would be an obvious call for the rest of the game like the obvious head to head call late where ole boy got ejected. If there was an instant replay available to look at folks could have seen it and moved on instead of saying that the Big 12 officials cheated as they walked out of the stadium.

Then it literally took me 3 and a half quarters to find the freakin’ play clock which they just stuck up in the nose bleeds at one of the exits. It’s like some fool just kicked the exit sign down and put it up! For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how the visiting players could see it.

Then the thing that really burned me up was as soon as I sat down in the most tradition rich place in college football. I got 3 splinters right in the butt to take with me as a souvenir because they had what looked like the same bleachers they had when Notre Dame ended OU’s 47 game win streak in 1957. Now I gotta sit through this game with my butt on fire and not move around too much. I swear I'm gonna leave these splinters in until I see the director of stadium operations or ole spitting Lou Holtz and make them remove them as we play the OU fight song!

I'll tell what though! When Notre Dame is good! It's good for college football because they've got the best fight song in America! That’s real talk playboy!  But Boomer Sooner!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The quotes under the caption aren’t real but its REAL Talk!

College Football Weekly Wrap Up: Week 4!

 

Week 4 Wrap Up!

Y'all know how we get it in! So let's get it in!

1) FAMU 0 vs. #4 Ohio State 76 (W)

2) Michigan State 13 vs. #22 Notre Dame 17 (L)

3) Tennessee 17 vs. #19 Florida 31(W)

4) Auburn 21 vs. #6 LSU 35 (W)

5) #23 ASU 28 vs. #5 Stanford 42 (W)

Great weekend of games and Ya Boy went 4-1!

So my record this season is 15-5!

 

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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