Waffles (How Chief Osceola got horse jacked in Compton & Famous Jameis saved the day)

"At Florida State! If we gone do it then! We gone do it BIG!"

I stopped by Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles before heading over to the Rose Bowl and the cooks were in the joint beefin’ about boyz never giving up. Harriet Beecher Stowe, the famous author and abolitionist, said, “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, til it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. All of a sudden Winston Churhill looked her dead in the eye, threw his apron down and said, “Never, never, never give up!”

Chief Osceola and Renegade were sitting at the table next to me listening to the whole thing. They immediately jumped up, ran out of the joint and beat me to Pasadena. By the time I got out of traffic the Seminoles were down 21-3 and Osceola was running around cursing and throwing up waffles. Auburn had been hiding in the bushes when he rode up and horse jacked him.

For more than three quarters the Noles were confused and overwhelmed on both sides of the ball. On offense they were a step slow getting off of the ball and confused as to what kinds of blitz packages these duns from the state of Alabama were running.

On defense the safeties and linebackers were in the twilight zone trying to figure out what ole Nick Marshall and baby De La Soul were doing with that option. They kept blowing coverages all night trying to keep the joint from getting away from them.

Just before the half Chief Osceola found his freakin’ glasses that had been knocked off during the robbery over in a garbage can on the Auburn sideline with Tiger prints all over them. Then the boyz from Tallahassee finally landed a punch to make it 21-10 at the break.

Now that he could see he got into the defenses ear and things started to click. They held Auburn scoreless in the third quarter and Famous Jameis and Co. put up 21 points in the fourth quarter to win it 34-31 as Osceola found Renegade over in Watts at a Crips and Bloods “Keep the Peace Carnival.”

Jameis struggled all night to find his rhythm because every time they snapped the ball boyz were wearing his underwear, jewelry and cologne. What I was trippin’ on was the amount of people that were saying that this cat was choking because he was struggling to complete a pass. He plays quarterback you idiots, not offensive line and wide receiver too. That dun was getting abused all evening and ole dull Kelvin Benjamin couldn’t catch a cold butt naked standing on an iceberg in the middle of the Arctic Ocean with his mouth open.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Famous Jameis won the Heisman in a landslide for a reason bruh. With 1:19 left to play ole boy pulled a Kobe and put boyz on his back and marched 80 yards down the field. He went 6 of 7 in the final minute for 77 of the 80 yards only to find Benjamin for the jump ball in the end zone on a 2 yard touchdown pass to seal the deal. That dun finally put down the popcorn and made a play.

On some real talk, ole dull Timmy Jernigan, the best Florida State defensive lineman on the field, almost cost his boyz the title. That dun was over on the sideline dry heaving waffles for most of the drive that resulted in Tre’ Mason’s 37 yard touchdown to take the lead 31-27 with 1:19 left. Then Mason did the Heisman pose coming off of the field and pointed to himself like he should have won it. Only the real G's caught that though and Jameis pulled his card!

Now back to that dun Jernigan! He was exhausted or just plain full of waffles. I’m not sure because the medical staff wouldn’t keep it real with Ya Boy. But he’s lucky they pulled it out because boyz were gonna be looking square at him as the cat that gave up when Osceola needed him most. Like Vince Lombardi once said, “Exhaustion makes a coward of us all!” If that’s the case, then ole boy was a straight up sissy!

They finally got Renegade cleaned up and the Seminoles rode out of the joint with the crystal ball after all. It was one of the greatest college games we’ve ever seen and Famous Jameis will never have to work a real day in his life. Even after his NFL playing days are long gone he’ll never have to lift a finger. All he has to do is stay in Tallahassee and he’ll live like a king until the day he dies. Free Waffles for everybody wearing garnet and gold today! Congrats to the Seminoles and stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!