Why Melo's a 1st ballot Hall of Famer with or without thehaters'! "Coaches and Playas"

"This is as big as it's gonna get playboy!"

Arthur Conan Doyle, the British writer and physician, once said, "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." Marcus Aurelius, the ancient Roman Emperor, gave it to us like this, "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." Then Buddha broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." 

Well playas...the truth is, Carmelo Anthony is the freakin' man when it comes to the history of USA Basketball! Believe or not this dun has become the All-Time leadin' scorer and rebounder. And did I mention that he's the only cat to have won 3 Olympic Gold Medals shootin' hoop for the US? Well I just did playboy. However, all of these fake media-types have been on the radio and TV clownin' him for gettin' emotional when he told boyz that he was done with the Olympics! They had the nerve to be dismissive of this accomplishment because he hasn't won an NBA championship. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! STOP HATIN' BRUH!! Everybody isn't goin' to win a championship!!! You've got to be on the right TEAM to win an NBA title! That means you've got to have role players a decent coach and a whole lot of luck. Boyz wanna act like every great player is supposed to win a title. Unless a boy is on the right team he's not winnin', in my Bernie Mac voice, "Notin'! Notin'!" I don't care how good he is. 

The great Michael Jeffery Jordan didn't win anything until the Bulls got him some help and a coach bruh! He was a MONSTER early in his career but he couldn't win because he had no help!! Duns like Charles Barkley, Elgin Baylor, Karl Malone, Pat Ewing and John Stockton were ALL beasts but they didn't play on the right TEAMS or the right organizations! I wrote a crazy Hot Joint entitled "The Firm" that simply broke down why players don't win championships, organizations do.  

Carmelo plays for the darn Knicks bruh! He's not winnin' a title but he's still a Hall of Famer! Why? Because he's one of the greatest basketball players to EVER play the game. Yeah, I know that he doesn't play an ounce of defense but he's a beast shootin' the rock. Think about all of the duns that have played this game. Melo has contributed to the legacy of this game like crazy. He's won 3 Gold Medals and he's the All-Time leader in both scorin' and reboundin'! That's contributes to the legacy of American basketball whether you think it's a big deal or not. He's also a 9 time All-Star! He's won a scorin' title and an NCAA championship as a freshman! 

Boyz are screamin' at me about Melo not even gettin' in and dun's like Cris Mullin, Mitch Richmond, Ralph Sampson, Bill Bradley and Adrian Dantley are already in. Are you kidding me? You sound crazy!! 

What boyz fail to realize is that there is a difference between the football and basketball hall of fames. Football is called the Pro Football Hall of Fame. That means they look only at what a player did in the NFL! Basketball Hall of Fame is just basketball! It includes ALL basketball! College, Pro and Olympics! That's why Ralph Sampson is in the joint bruh! 

Carmelo is playin' basketball!!! And again, EVERYBODY isn't winnin' an NBA championship. This is as good as it's gonna get for Melo. So why wouldn't he relish in it? Some cats have gotten lucky with who they've been able to play for and with. 

Do you really think Kobe would have won 5 NBA titles playin' in Denver without Phil or Shaq or Lamar Odom or Pau Gasol? Do you really think Larry Bird, as good as he was, would have won 3 titles playin' in Milwaukee without Robert Parrish or Kevin McHale? Would Magic have been able to win 5 rings playin' in Sacramento without Kareem and James Worthy or bein' coached by Pat Riley? C'mon bruh! Some cats hit the lottery with coaches and role players. 

Do you really think that Mike would have won 6 titles without Scottie or Phil or Rodman and playin' in Washington? We already saw what he was able to do without them. What if MJ had been stuck with Doug Collins as his coach for his entire career? Jordan never made it out of the first round of the playoffs until Pippen came to town and ne ver made it to the Finals until Phil got in the car. 

So I say, back up off of Melo and let him have his day. He's goin' down in history and into the Hall of Fame as the most successful American basketball Olympian of all-time. You can hate on it but it's the truth and that puts him into the Hall of Fame as soon as he's eligible playboy. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Props to the homies Tameka Catchings and Paul George for gettin' the Gold! "One"

"We went! We conquered! We out!" 

Mike Ditka once said, "The ones who want to achieve and win championships motivate themselves." Michael Jordan gave it to us like this, "Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships." Then Bill Walton put it where the goats could get it when he spit, "You don't win championships by just being normal, by just being average." 

Well playas...the US Men's and Women's Olympic teams were far from being average! As a matter of fact they were great!! Both got out of Rio with Gold Medals headed back to the crib! The Indianapolis homies Tameka Catchings and Paul George represent us well on the court and this is my shout to them! 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! We don't have to get into a long drawn out joint to say Thanks for holdin' it down for Nap Town, the Fever and Pacers! Hurry up back Catch, get some rest and let's finish this season and your career with another championship! 

PG you already know bruh! Winnin' a Gold medal takes you to another level of superstar that we don't even have to talk about! Just keep holdin' it down and I'll holler at you in October! Stay up and I'm out!!  One!!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: TheJayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Ryan Lochte still lyin' EVEN in his apology bruh! "Options"

"Bruh...Ima sit here and still lie to you and there's nothin' you can do!"

Charles Spurgeon, the 19th century British Baptist preacher, once said, "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." Ole Vladimir Lenin gave it to us like this, "A lie told often enough becomes the truth." Then Paulo Coelho, the Brazilian lyricist and novelist, put it where the goats could get it when he spit, "No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes." 

Well playas...no one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes except ole dull Ryan Lochte! This dun got on NATIONAL television again with Matt Lauer on Saturday night to apologize for all of the foolishness that he created a week ago and was still lyin'! This cat starts the apology off with a lie by sayin' that he "overexaggerated" the story! Then he goes full tilt lyin' when he actually said out of his OWN mouth:

"It's how you want to make it look like. Whether you call it a robbery or whether you call it extortion or us just paying for the damages, we don't know. All we know is that there was a gun pointed in our direction and we were demanded to give money."

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! OVER EXAGGERATED? Bruh!! Either you told the truth or you lied? And you LIED! You weren't robbed! A boy made you pay for what you tore up. That's called makin' it right before you dip! Otherwise, he was gonna put a hot one in you.  It's simple hood protocol. The ghetto is the ghetto anywhere in the world. 

Then he jumps on this how you want to make it look foolishness? It looks like you pulled your joint out and urinated on another man's wall and then proceeded to destroy his property bruh! There's no makin' it look like anything but that! It looks like the dun that owned the gas station did you a solid by not beaten the brakes off of you. The cat that pulled the gun on you did you a favor by not actually shootin' you when you tried to punk them by tearin' stuff up and tryin' to bounce. Where are you from bruh!!!??? 

If you would have gone into any ghetto in America and pulled that stunt. Your mother would have been tryin' to identify your body or at the very least visitin' you in the Intensive Care Unit. 

To sit there while you're supposed to be givin' an apology and still lyin' is the attitude of privilege.  But what blows my mind is that all of these fake media-types this mornin' are sayin' that this fool has taken "full responsibility" for the lie!!! Every headline I've read says, "Ryan Lochte Accepts Responsibility." What interview did you see bruh! He clearly stated that it was all in how you looked at it. So in his mind it made sense to do what he did.  

Then the dun went on to say that he was still drunk when he initially lied to Billy Bush on NBC!!So he's still not takin' responsibility for any of this foolishness but these fake media-types are lettin' him off of the hook anyway!  

Well Ima put it to you the best way I know how bruh. Please don't show up in Any Hood, USA and pull that stunt because it's not gonna end well. I hope that was his last ignorant night out drinkin' or I hope that he stays in the suburbs with that foolishness because he won't get the option to pay or go to jail in an American ghetto. He'll end up both payin' and gettin' the brakes beat off of him at the very least. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Gabby gets BLASTED but Lochte gets a pass! "Privilege"

"I can do whatever I wanna do bruh and it's obvious why!" 

Mohamed Elbaradei once said, "I'm a lawyer. I go for due process; I go for fairness and equity - these values mean a lot to me." H. Jackson Bronw Jr. gave it to us like this, "Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you." Then Michael Pollan broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, "I think perfect objectivity is an unrealistic goal; fairness, however, is not." 

Well playas...all black folks in this world want is to be treated fairly. We realize that the world isn't perfect so to think that it will be is asinine. However, all a boy wants is to see white folks and blacks folks treated the same way when they do good and bad. Now that the truth has fallen out of the closet on this whole Ryan Lochte and Co. foolishness. We really get to see once again that if you're white you get away with actin' a fool without havin' to apologize. 

The Rio Olympics spokesman, Mario Andrada, actually sat in front of an entire group of human beings on Thursday and said this out of his OWN mouth, "I do not regret having apologized. No apologies from [Lochte] or other athletes are needed. We have to understand that these kids came here to have fun. Let's give these kids a break. Sometimes you make decisions that you later regret. They had fun, they made a mistake, life goes on."

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If this would have been a group of black athletes boyz would have been up in arms on social media and in the actual media itself. 

Now that the truth is on the table. We find out that these cats were tearin' posters off of the wall at the gas station. Ryan Lochte himself pulled his joint out and urinated on the man's wall!!! But the IOC tells the world that they were just some kids havin' fun. Some brothers would have been all kind of thugs this mornin'! Peein' on the walls bruh? And they would be sittin' in somebody's jail lookin' crazy too! Stop it! You sound crazy!!! 

Here's the clown that always hollers, "Why do have to always bring up race Jay? That's racist!! He's bein' shamed for this foolishness!" 

No playboy he's bein' called out for this foolishness! He's not bein' called a thug or a gangster, a complete embarrassment to the United States or a straight up donkey! Social media isn't callin' him all kinds of disrespectful names as a result. People are simply sayin' he lied. There's a huge difference. 

The dun from the IOC called them kids havin' fun. The ring leader is 32 years old bruh!!! That's old enough to be a darn physician! That's old enough to be somebody's ghetto grand parent! Oh I'm talkin' crazy bruh? Don't tell me that it can't happen because I know several of them! But people are actually makin' excuses for these fools! However, when black folks bring it to your attention you call them racist for actually bein' conscious of the unfairness. 

"I'm not out here urinatin' on folks walls bruh!"

Don't act like we didn't see boyz completely destroy Gabby Douglas for not havin' her hand on her chest durin' the medal ceremony. People ripped her a knew butt hole for that but this dun and his boyz can pee on a man's store, tear stuff off of the walls and lie to authorities and everybody wants to act like it didn't happen. 

It nothin' else they embarrassed the United States durin' what is supposed to be a great accomplishment for us with the country winnin' 100 Gold Medals thus far. They essentially went on school field trip and pulled the darn fire alarm. But y'all wanna blast Gabby Douglas for not puttin' her hand on her chest. Give me a freakin' break! All we want bruh is the same treatment all the way around. Is that too much to ask for? Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

DeAndre Jordan outta his mind sayin' Gold Medal is above NBA Ship! "Cease and Desist"

"I know I was talkin' crazy bruh but that's how I get through the day!"

Jim Rohn, the author and motivational speaker, once said, "Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion." Richard Dawkins, the English ethologist and biologist, gave it to us like this, "A delusion is something that people believe in despite a total lack of evidence." Then Christian Nestle Bovee, the famous writer, broke it down like a G in the projects when he spit, "No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities." 

Well playas...DeAndre Jordan is not only delusional but he's completely lost his mind in order to find happiness. Earlier this week this dun told ESPN that winnin' a Gold Medal was better than winnin' an NBA Championship. Don't take my word for it bruh here's what this dun said out of his OWN mouth about Gold Medals: 

"I think they're above NBA rings. I may get in trouble for saying that, but I believe that. I feel like this is more special. You're not just playing teams in the U.S. You're playing teams from all over the world. And this is even more special because there's an NBA champion crowned every year, but this is every four years. You've got to really think about that, man, because it's extremely special."

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! DeAndre has been over there  makin' Big Momma's Kool Aid out of the drinkin' water, standin' in dirty water butt naked gettin' stung by mosquitos if he's to the point where he believes that a Gold Medal is above and NBA title. Now that dun doesn't really believe that he's just convinced himself of it because it's easier to function in the world knowin' that he'll probably never win an NBA championship. 

He plays for the freakin' Clippers for cryin' out loud!!! He's not winnin' the darn Western Conference semifinal let along a Finals on that team bruh. So ole boy is merely psychin' himself out by sayin' some foolishness like that. 

How on earth would a Gold Medal be above an NBA title when you're playin' against competition from the rec league in the suburbs. Some of these countries are showin' up with boyz that have regular jobs that had to take off to play in this foolishness. Some of these duns had to fill out an FMLA form or lie to their wives to disappear for two weeks to play! And the teams that are playin' with professionals. They're all tryin' to get to the NBA!!!  But you're tellin' me that beatin' these fools is above beatin'  the best in the world? Stop it! You sound crazy! 

DeAndre!!! I need you to put the blunt down bruh because there's somethin' in it that you aren't accustomed to smokin'. You don't have to say ignorant stuff just to justify in your mind feelin' good about winnin' something. And that's the edited version. It's cool bruh! A Gold Medal is a big deal. It just isn't bigger than winnin' an NBA Championship. I need for you to cease and desist on that foolishness! 

It's okay to play in the NBA and not win a title. Everybody isn't goin' to win one but EVERYBODY can get paid. It's just what it is bruh. Only one team per year can win a ship and it normally goes to the duns that play on the BEST TEAM. Or in the case this year, the dun that completely took over the Finals, put the team on his back and won the joint. But not everybody can do or even has the DNA to pull it off. 

And please don't start listenin' to so many of these fake media-types that are sayin' that everybody that plays in the NBA is tryin' to win a championship because that's simply NOT true. Everybody isn't tryin' to win a championship because everybody can't win a championship. In order to win one you've gotta be on a team that is capable of winnin' one bruh. If you're in places like Denver, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Utah, Philly, Sacramento, Detroit, LA, pick one bruh etc. You ain't winnin' jack squat and you've gotta be cool with that. Let's keep it 100 bruh! If you ain't playin' for whatever team LeBron is on and the Warriors you ain't winnin' until they finish playin' with the ball. 

So DeAndre, you don't have to make up some foolishness to feel good about not winnin' a ring. Why don't you start with shootin' free throws at a higher than 40 percent clip. Let's start there. That can be your ring. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

How Lochte's boyz pulled a First 48 on him! "Mommas & Cigarettes"

"Let me call my momma and give me a cigarette!"

Lewis Smedes, the renowned Christian author, once said, "What is a disloyal act? A person is disloyal if he treats you as a stranger when, in fact, he belongs to you as a friend or partner. Each of us is bound to some special others by the invisible fibers of loyalty." Lloyd Banks, the rapper, gave it to us like this, "I take things like honor and loyalty seriously. It's more important to me than any materialistic thing or any fame I could have." Then Samuel Goldwyn, the film producer, put it where the goats could get it when he spit, "I'll take fifty percent efficiency to get one hundred percent loyalty." 

Well playas....Ryan Lochte and his boyz know nothin' about the art of loyalty and have proven to the world that they are just some duns that hung out together one night in Rio. Boyz? Naw playa, just acquaintances. On Thursday the truth finally fell out of the closet butt naked with a pair of combat boots on and as a result Lochte and James Feigen have been indicted for false reportin'. 

Why? Because the two other cats, Jack Conger and Gunner Bentz, that were pulled off of the US bound flight sang like the Five Heartbeats before they kicked ole Eddie Cain out of the group! 

They spilled the beans and the potato salad all over the floor bruh. They told investigators that Lochte made up all of this foolishness and was essentially the ring leader of this foolishness. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! When they pulled them off of the plane, Jimmy Feigen was nowhere to be found and Ryan Lochte was already in the US. At that moment you knew that it was about to be Chris Brown up in this piece. "On and Poppin'!"

The fact that Lochte was already at the crib tells you everything you wanted know. He was smart enough to dip but he left his boyz. So in reality they weren't his boyz.  When they got hauled off of the plane you knew it was about to be some First 48 goin' on. 

"Let me call my momma and can I get cigarette?" Whenever a boy asks those two questions EVERYBODY is about to go to jail bruh. However, in this case boyz are tryin' NOT to go to jail. Accordin' to reports only Lochte and Feigen actually lied to police in the first place. So it makes sense that they were the only two indicted. However, Feigen is the only dun in trouble because Lochte is at the crib chillin'. 

So you already knew that Bentz and Conger weren't about get jammed up for a boy that dipped and a cat that hid out on them. Not happenin' pimpin'! Not today! Not now! Not ever! 

Loyalty is EVERYTHING! If Lochte dipped everybody should have dipped! There is no way that any of them should have been in Rio if one of them was gone. That's Hood Protocol 101! Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

4) On and Poppin: noun - song by R&B singer Chris Brown. 

5)

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: TheJayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Why the US swimmer's Big Momma's gotta fight on Sunday! ! "Slippers and Vaseline"

"Messin' around with Lochte's dump butt and here we go bruh!" 

Michelle Obama once said, "We learned about honesty and integrity - that the truth matters... that you don't take shortcuts or play by your own set of rules... and success doesn't count unless you earn it fair and square." Zig Ziglar, the famous sales guru, gave it to us like this, "The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty." Then Thomas Jefferson broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." 

Well playas....it looks like Ryan Lochte and his homeboys never even opened the book bruh! And Lochte himself threw ALL of those stones ole boy was just talkin' about out of the freakin' window. On Wednesday night Brazilian authorities pulled US Olympic swinmmers Jack Conger and Gunner Bentz off of their flight headed to the US and snatched their passports until they get to the bottom of this robbery foolishness. However, Lochte is already at the crib with his feet kicked up. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! First of all bruh, I told you boyz yesterday that you had to be a sucka to believe the robbery story in the Hot Joint entitled "Had." The story didn't make an ounce of sense from jump but that's not what I'm trippin' on today. I'm trippin on these fools tryin' to dip like nobody was lookin' for them. On early Wednesday mornin' a Brazilian judge order them to "Kizzy!"  So they already knew that they weren't about to bounce because everybody and their baby's momma's momma, Ms. Jackson was lookin' for them. 

So why on earth would you try to get on a plane headed for the US and make a fool out of yourself internationally. Every media outlet in the world was sittin' in the joint waitin' for you to get pulled off of that plane. Now not only did you embarrass yourself but you embarrassed Big Momma and you know how the old ladies are at church. So now she's gotta fight this Sunday because old lady Johnson gone have somethin' to say about her grand baby. You already know she's put her slippers in her purse along with the Vaseline. You already know!!! 

All of this foolisness because you and your boyz got drunk and fell for the Oakey Doke. C'mon bruh! First you tell a boy that the cab driver stopped for gas and you got robbed. Then that story wasn't good enough so you came up with the "We got pulled over by a dun with no lights just a badge." You couldn't remember what color the cab was, what kind of ride it was, who was drivin', what time you got robbed but you could give a detailed description of the robbery itself. Straight foolishness!!! 

Then to top it all off the main dun tellin' the lie, Ryan Lochte, dipped on everybody!!! He's at the crib chillin'! What kind of homeboy is that. If he was gonna dip then everybody should have dipped! I don't know how they get down in the suburbs bruh but where I'm from EVERYBODY'S dippin' together!!! Rule 6 Article 1 Section 4 of the Hood Code of Conduct says, "We came together! We ridin' together! We dippin' together!" Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

4) Kizzy: verb - to stay put. That was the name of Kunta Kinte from the movie Roots. It means to stay put. 

5) Dip: verb - to leave 

6) Ms. Jackson: noun - rap song by the super group OutKast

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: TheJayGravesReport

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Sound Cloud: TheJayGravesReport

The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

And no their grandmothers don't really have to fight on Sunday but they'll get real close bruh! 

Why you've gotta be a sucka to fall for Ryan Lochte's robbery story! "Had"

"You read through that too bruh?" 

John F. Kennedy once said, "The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic." Bo Bennett, the well-known businessman, gave it to us like this, "For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth." Then Vladimir Lenin broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, "A lie told often enough becomes the truth." 

Well playas...all you've gotta do is listen to a boy talk long enough and you'll be able to decipher the truth from the lies and Ryan Lochte, as we would say in the hood, is on one. The more that dun talks the better the lie gets. Now it's comin' out that ole boy and this buddies didn't initially report the robbery because they thought that they would get in trouble. 

The only reason that the police even started to investigate this foolishness is because they saw media reports as to where his Old Girl said that they had been robbed. When the police finally did sit down with this dun he told them that he and his boyz were drunk and couldn't remember what type and color of taxi they were in or where the robbery took place. Nor could they tell a boy what time it actually happened. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Was there even a robbery bruh? C'mon playa! I was born at night not last night!! This is what the dun finally told the Today show: 

"We got pulled over, in the taxi, and these guys came out with a badge, a police badge, no lights, no nothing, just a police badge and they pulled us over," Lochte said. "They pulled out their guns, they told the other swimmers to get down on the ground -- they got down on the ground. I refused, I was like, we didn't do anything wrong, so -- I'm not getting down on the ground."

That whole story sounds like an 8 year old told it that got caught in the restroom at school writin' on the walls bruh! "Somebody made me write on the wall but I can't remember who it was or what he looks like. But they told me that if I didn't write on the wall they would beat me up." 

Why would you think that you would get into trouble because SOMEBODY ELSE robbed you at gun point? Why would you get into trouble because somebody else posed as police and hit a lick? That doesn't make sense bruh! Anybody with kids knows that that story sounds foolishness. And his momma knows that that story sounds stupid but she's protectin' her baby by even repeatin' it.  

All of a sudden you can't remember what type of cab you were in. You can't remember what color the joint was, where you were or what time the foolishness took place but you can give a DETAILED description of the robbery itself. C'mon playa you gotta do better than that. I can completely understand you not rememberin' anything if you were drunk but don't give me the details of the robbery if you're drunk. 

Let me put it where the goats can get it. Sounds to me like they hooked up with the wrong chicks and came up short on the wallets and was too embarrassed to tell a boy what happened. I'm just sayin'! They woke in my Bernie Mac voice, "Bucket Naked" tied together with their wallets in the wind.  

Why do I say that? Because the initial reports on this foolishness is that the cab driver stopped to get gas and they got robbed. Then it turned into some fake police with no lights and just a badge. How is a boy goin' to pull you over with no lights? And if you can't remember what color the cab was, what type of cab you were in, where you were or what time it was. How do you remember that there were no lights or that the dun even had a badge or a gun? 

Do us all a favor bruh and stop tellin' that lie. You got loose down in Rio, hooked up with the wrong chicks and they got you. It's called gettin' took playboy. You didn't get robbed you got had. It is what it is and move on. I bet they''ll keep their butts outta Rio from now on. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) On one: verb phrase - to be trippin', to act out or to be way out of character 

4) Old Girl: noun - hood for someone's mother

5) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

6) Had: verb - to get swindled out of something, to be set up 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

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Why black women hatin' on Gabby are simply miserable with themselves! "Crabs"

"Keep hatin'! I've got my own Barbie Doll!" 

Gary Allen once said, "You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars." William Penn gave it to us like this, "The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves." Then Robert Heinlein put it where the goats could get it when he spit, "A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity." 

Well playas...for the black women on social media tearin' down our young sista, Gabby Douglas, because her hair, in their minds doesn't pass the sniff test, are the very duns Heinlein was talkin' about. Durin' this entire Olympic Games black women have been blastin' this young woman about her hair not bein' done and I've sat in the cut and watched this foolishness go on. 

But let me keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Gabby Douglas is more successful than 99.9999% of the duns tryin' to ridicule her. Oh I'm lyin' bruh? How many of you duns talkin' about her have become the best in the world at what you do. How many of you broken hearted chicks have signed a $90 million endorsement deal with Kelloggs Cereal or have your own Barbie Doll? According to the New York Post, industry experts said after the 2012 Olympics that she could have over 30 additional contracts over the next decade at more than $2.4 million each. For y'all that’s checkin’ that's more than $150 million dollars over the next ten years but you're hatin' on her hair. 

Durin' the 2012 Olympics in London Gabby became the first black woman to win a gold medal in the gymnastics All-Around! That means that NOBODY in the world was better than her! She was just on the team last week that won the Gold Medal! That means that she was on the team that is the best in the world!!!

But all some of these jealous black women can do it criticize her on her hair not bein' done? Really bruh? Now let me ask you a serious question? Have you paid attention to what she does for a freakin' livin'? Now I know that I just did a crazy Hot Joint a few days ago entitled "Don't Sleep" applaudin' the accomplishments of black women not only in the world of sports but in their ability to become the most educated group of people in the United States. Pop the link and check it out. 

However, if they are the most educated group then they SHOULD understand that if a woman makes a livin' doin' gymnastics which requires runnin', jumpin', flippin', and sweatin' then her hair can't be in the way. If she is a black woman her hair has to be jelled and pinned down so that she can do her freakin' job. So why on earth would a group of people that are most educated in this country be so ignorant? Because jealousy supersedes common sense. 

Now I'm not speakin' to ALL black women. I'm only speakin' to the fools tearin' down a woman that represents them. The fact that she's even on the Olympic team as a gymnast gives another black girl in America the inspiration and opportunity to do the same thing or whatever she dreams of becomin'. There would be no Simone Biles if there was no Gabby Douglas. Simone is killin' these boyz in this Olympic Games but all of you clowns forgot that she was standin' on Gabby's shoulders. Simone Manuel, the black woman that just won the 100 meter freestyle and Michelle Carter, the black woman that just won the shot put are standin' on Gabby's shoulders!!! 

Sure, they don't participate in gymnastics but they participate in nontraditional events for black women. In other words, they don't run track. Therefore, by seein' Gabby win the Gold in 2012 and seein' Venus and Serena do their thing is something that black women don't traditionally do that gives people hope to be able to try other things. Gabby is a pioneer and she should be respected whether you think her hair is done or not. Stop bein' a crab in a bucket and get your own hustle. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: TheJayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Why Usain Bolt needs to start racin' Chicago Super Rats! "Too Easy"

"Too easy bruh!!!" 

Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher, once said, "Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." Saadi, the ancient Persian poet, gave it to us like this, "Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy." Then the big homie, Galileo Galilei, broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, "All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." 

Well playas...the truth is, Usain Bolt is a MONSTER on the track and there's nothin' a boy can do about it. On Sunday night he picked up his third straight Gold medal in the 100 meters like it was a pack of Newports and a forty ounce at a hood gas station in the mid 1990's. Ole boy ran a 9.81 so easy that he almost fell asleep. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! What was the point in havin' the rest of those duns in the race? All everybody wanted to see was Justin Gatlin get out of the blocks on him and then bet on how fast Bolt would make up the slack. We all knew Gatlin was gettin' out of the blocks like a rocket because that's what he does! 

Bolt may as well have patted him on the butt about 40 meters out because it was Chris Brown up in that piece at that point. "On and Poppin'!" 

Look here bruh, when he ran a 9.86 in the semifinals in a jog you knew it was gonna be stupid! Everybody else should have ordered dinner and watched the joint with the rest of us. There's no point in puttin' your shoes on when a boy is joggin' and he's poppin' a 9.86!! 

There were duns out there runnin' for their lives and couldn't run a 9 nothin'!!! To give you some perspective here, Trayvon Bromell, the American, got dead last and he ran a 10.06 with his shoes on fire bruh! He wasn't even in the picture frame and he was in the OLYMPICS!!!

From now on just put Bolt out there with a cheetah or better yet a Chicago Super Rat. Don't waste your time foolin' with mere humans beings ever again. The GOAT!! Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

#TheBestDressedManInMedia

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: TheJayGravesReport

Instagram: JayGravesReport

Sound Cloud: TheJayGravesReport

The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!