Why you've gotta be a sucka to fall for Ryan Lochte's robbery story! "Had"

"You read through that too bruh?" 

John F. Kennedy once said, "The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic." Bo Bennett, the well-known businessman, gave it to us like this, "For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth." Then Vladimir Lenin broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, "A lie told often enough becomes the truth." 

Well playas...all you've gotta do is listen to a boy talk long enough and you'll be able to decipher the truth from the lies and Ryan Lochte, as we would say in the hood, is on one. The more that dun talks the better the lie gets. Now it's comin' out that ole boy and this buddies didn't initially report the robbery because they thought that they would get in trouble. 

The only reason that the police even started to investigate this foolishness is because they saw media reports as to where his Old Girl said that they had been robbed. When the police finally did sit down with this dun he told them that he and his boyz were drunk and couldn't remember what type and color of taxi they were in or where the robbery took place. Nor could they tell a boy what time it actually happened. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Was there even a robbery bruh? C'mon playa! I was born at night not last night!! This is what the dun finally told the Today show: 

"We got pulled over, in the taxi, and these guys came out with a badge, a police badge, no lights, no nothing, just a police badge and they pulled us over," Lochte said. "They pulled out their guns, they told the other swimmers to get down on the ground -- they got down on the ground. I refused, I was like, we didn't do anything wrong, so -- I'm not getting down on the ground."

That whole story sounds like an 8 year old told it that got caught in the restroom at school writin' on the walls bruh! "Somebody made me write on the wall but I can't remember who it was or what he looks like. But they told me that if I didn't write on the wall they would beat me up." 

Why would you think that you would get into trouble because SOMEBODY ELSE robbed you at gun point? Why would you get into trouble because somebody else posed as police and hit a lick? That doesn't make sense bruh! Anybody with kids knows that that story sounds foolishness. And his momma knows that that story sounds stupid but she's protectin' her baby by even repeatin' it.  

All of a sudden you can't remember what type of cab you were in. You can't remember what color the joint was, where you were or what time the foolishness took place but you can give a DETAILED description of the robbery itself. C'mon playa you gotta do better than that. I can completely understand you not rememberin' anything if you were drunk but don't give me the details of the robbery if you're drunk. 

Let me put it where the goats can get it. Sounds to me like they hooked up with the wrong chicks and came up short on the wallets and was too embarrassed to tell a boy what happened. I'm just sayin'! They woke in my Bernie Mac voice, "Bucket Naked" tied together with their wallets in the wind.  

Why do I say that? Because the initial reports on this foolishness is that the cab driver stopped to get gas and they got robbed. Then it turned into some fake police with no lights and just a badge. How is a boy goin' to pull you over with no lights? And if you can't remember what color the cab was, what type of cab you were in, where you were or what time it was. How do you remember that there were no lights or that the dun even had a badge or a gun? 

Do us all a favor bruh and stop tellin' that lie. You got loose down in Rio, hooked up with the wrong chicks and they got you. It's called gettin' took playboy. You didn't get robbed you got had. It is what it is and move on. I bet they''ll keep their butts outta Rio from now on. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) On one: verb phrase - to be trippin', to act out or to be way out of character 

4) Old Girl: noun - hood for someone's mother

5) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

6) Had: verb - to get swindled out of something, to be set up 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!