Why the US swimmer's Big Momma's gotta fight on Sunday! ! "Slippers and Vaseline"

"Messin' around with Lochte's dump butt and here we go bruh!" 

Michelle Obama once said, "We learned about honesty and integrity - that the truth matters... that you don't take shortcuts or play by your own set of rules... and success doesn't count unless you earn it fair and square." Zig Ziglar, the famous sales guru, gave it to us like this, "The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty." Then Thomas Jefferson broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." 

Well playas....it looks like Ryan Lochte and his homeboys never even opened the book bruh! And Lochte himself threw ALL of those stones ole boy was just talkin' about out of the freakin' window. On Wednesday night Brazilian authorities pulled US Olympic swinmmers Jack Conger and Gunner Bentz off of their flight headed to the US and snatched their passports until they get to the bottom of this robbery foolishness. However, Lochte is already at the crib with his feet kicked up. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! First of all bruh, I told you boyz yesterday that you had to be a sucka to believe the robbery story in the Hot Joint entitled "Had." The story didn't make an ounce of sense from jump but that's not what I'm trippin' on today. I'm trippin on these fools tryin' to dip like nobody was lookin' for them. On early Wednesday mornin' a Brazilian judge order them to "Kizzy!"  So they already knew that they weren't about to bounce because everybody and their baby's momma's momma, Ms. Jackson was lookin' for them. 

So why on earth would you try to get on a plane headed for the US and make a fool out of yourself internationally. Every media outlet in the world was sittin' in the joint waitin' for you to get pulled off of that plane. Now not only did you embarrass yourself but you embarrassed Big Momma and you know how the old ladies are at church. So now she's gotta fight this Sunday because old lady Johnson gone have somethin' to say about her grand baby. You already know she's put her slippers in her purse along with the Vaseline. You already know!!! 

All of this foolisness because you and your boyz got drunk and fell for the Oakey Doke. C'mon bruh! First you tell a boy that the cab driver stopped for gas and you got robbed. Then that story wasn't good enough so you came up with the "We got pulled over by a dun with no lights just a badge." You couldn't remember what color the cab was, what kind of ride it was, who was drivin', what time you got robbed but you could give a detailed description of the robbery itself. Straight foolishness!!! 

Then to top it all off the main dun tellin' the lie, Ryan Lochte, dipped on everybody!!! He's at the crib chillin'! What kind of homeboy is that. If he was gonna dip then everybody should have dipped! I don't know how they get down in the suburbs bruh but where I'm from EVERYBODY'S dippin' together!!! Rule 6 Article 1 Section 4 of the Hood Code of Conduct says, "We came together! We ridin' together! We dippin' together!" Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

4) Kizzy: verb - to stay put. That was the name of Kunta Kinte from the movie Roots. It means to stay put. 

5) Dip: verb - to leave 

6) Ms. Jackson: noun - rap song by the super group OutKast

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

And no their grandmothers don't really have to fight on Sunday but they'll get real close bruh!