Why Usain Bolt needs to start racin' Chicago Super Rats! "Too Easy"

"Too easy bruh!!!" 

Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher, once said, "Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." Saadi, the ancient Persian poet, gave it to us like this, "Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy." Then the big homie, Galileo Galilei, broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, "All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." 

Well playas...the truth is, Usain Bolt is a MONSTER on the track and there's nothin' a boy can do about it. On Sunday night he picked up his third straight Gold medal in the 100 meters like it was a pack of Newports and a forty ounce at a hood gas station in the mid 1990's. Ole boy ran a 9.81 so easy that he almost fell asleep. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! What was the point in havin' the rest of those duns in the race? All everybody wanted to see was Justin Gatlin get out of the blocks on him and then bet on how fast Bolt would make up the slack. We all knew Gatlin was gettin' out of the blocks like a rocket because that's what he does! 

Bolt may as well have patted him on the butt about 40 meters out because it was Chris Brown up in that piece at that point. "On and Poppin'!" 

Look here bruh, when he ran a 9.86 in the semifinals in a jog you knew it was gonna be stupid! Everybody else should have ordered dinner and watched the joint with the rest of us. There's no point in puttin' your shoes on when a boy is joggin' and he's poppin' a 9.86!! 

There were duns out there runnin' for their lives and couldn't run a 9 nothin'!!! To give you some perspective here, Trayvon Bromell, the American, got dead last and he ran a 10.06 with his shoes on fire bruh! He wasn't even in the picture frame and he was in the OLYMPICS!!!

From now on just put Bolt out there with a cheetah or better yet a Chicago Super Rat. Don't waste your time foolin' with mere humans beings ever again. The GOAT!! Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!