High Standards (Why players sound crazy tryin' to compare Wes Welker'ssuspension to Jim Irsay's)

"I'll be at the crib loungin' playa!"

As I stopped by the brown bag joint to get some soul food deep in the hood, I heard these cats in line arguin’ about boyz followin’ the rules out here. Katherine Hepburn said, “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.” Albert Einstein got his food and said, “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” Then the big homie Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., the 19^th century physician and poet, shut the buildin’ down with, “The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.”

He sure does playa and that’s why Jim Irsay is chillin’ for the next six games at the crib and only peelin’ off $500K to the league. After ole boy plead guilty to drivin’ while impaired on Tuesday, Roger Goodell hit him off with his league punishment. All of a sudden the players around the league were beside themselves because of what they viewed as a lack of severity in Irsay's punishment compared to what Wes Welker got hit with.

Former Colt and current Buffalo Bills defensive end Jerry Hughes jumped out of the birthday cake with, “It’s kind of like a slap on the wrist.” He went on to point out that Wes Welker is gonna get hit for $1.8 million because of his four game suspension and Irsay only got hit for 500 stacks.

Well…let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! What these young cats have to understand playboy is that Roger Goodell doesn’t work for Wes Welker he works for Jim Irsay. If you wanna get high and break the freakin’ rules then you need to own a team. But as long as you are what we call an employee in the real world, then you need to follow the darn rules. And that’s the edited version!

Is it right? Absolutely not! But is it real? You darn right it is playboy! Go read the rule book and you’ll see that the maximum fine that the league could hit Irsay with was $500K. That wasn’t a typo bruh! And while you're readin' the rule book playa. Skim over the part that says that if a player had plead guilty to drivin' under the influence on a first offense he would only have been fined $50K with no suspension. 

Getting back to Irsay's fine...the owners made sure to put the 500 stack fine in there for their benefit. Why? Because they’re the owners!

Irsay and every owner in the league knew that they could handle 500 stacks that’s why it’s in the rules. Where y’all from? What did the big homie Oliver just say earlier bruh? “These young cats know the rules but the old heads know the exceptions.” That’s the hood paraphrase version because it sounds better.

You got duns rallyin’ around Wes Welker and he’s comin’ with the “My dog ate my homework” line. This cat tested positive for MDMA which boyz know it as Ecstasy or Molly. He took it durin’ the Kentucky Derby weekend back in May. Not only was there Molly in his system but it was laced with amphetamines. Now he’s screamin’ from the roof tops that he doesn’t do drugs etc.

Well playboy... unless they call Molly and amphetamines something else you’re doin’ drugs. He claims that somebody must have slipped something in his drink. That could be possible playa. But my next question is, who are you hangin’ out with? Because if the duns you’re runnin’ with are droppin’ stuff in your drink (and that’s the edited version) then you need to get another crew. Even if it wasn’t someone in your own crew, how does your crew let somebody get at your drink? I'm just sayin'! I'm not even a celebrity and my boyz will protect my drink at the club bruh.

I say you should be fined $2 million for runnin’ with some fake cats if that's your story and you're stickin' with it. That means that your game is weak if you got weak cats runnin’ with you. Again, I’m just sayin’!

So for boyz to be upset that Jim Irsay is on vacation for six weeks is nuts. You gotta understand who you are in this equation pimpin’. When Albert Einstein published his revolutionary papers on basic physics in 1905 and laid out E=mc2 he changed the game. The E is units of energy, M is for mass and c2 is the speed of light. The owners are the Energy playboy because they’ve got all of the bread. Mass times the speed of light or in other words your wanna be gettin’ high butt "A" can’t function without his bread.

So to compare yourself to him is crazy. In my Big Momma voice, “You can’t do what he does because you ain’t him. So yo best bet is to start followin’ the rules.” Because at the end of the day Jim Irsay will die before he can spend all of his money gettin’ high. However, as a player you can spend all of your bread in one dope house in six months if you’re not careful. You sound foolish comparin’ what some billionaire cat got in terms of a punishment to a player.

That’s like sayin’ that I could have gotten off without a prison sentence if I had the same bread as the rich dude. Yeah, you could have! But you knew that you didn’t have any bread when you did the crime. Then you wouldn’t be in court with a public defender that could give two dead flies smashed about yo dumb "A." Hey playa, how bout you just follow the rules and we don’t ever have to compare you to him again? Because he's got enough bread to keep breakin' the rules but you don't. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The Great Gazoo (Why neither Jim Irsay nor the cop that arrested him were thinking)

"Dang bruh, I wish that cop would have been smarter than I was."

As I was walking into Bankers Life Fieldhouse the ticket scalpers got into a fight right in the middle of Pennsylvania Street over the concept of Stupidity. Robert A. Heinlein, the famous science fiction writer, said, “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” Martin Luther king Jr. threw his tickets at a boy and said, “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Then Albert Einstein picked those joints up and started selling them with, “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

I’d be stupid to try to waste your time explaining in detail how the Pacers beat some duns that have lost 21 straight. So I won’t playboy. I’ll just tell you that they beat the 76ers like everybody else has by a final of 99-90. Lance the Don Dada led all scorers with 25 and ole dull Roy Hibbert barely got out of the ride again last night. This cat had 8 points, 5 freakin’ rebounds and 1 measly block at 7’2” 290 lbs. and got his joint batted on several occasions during the game. I’m just sayin’!

Let’s talk about what boyz really want me to break down playa. That dun Jim Irsay, the owner of the Indianapolis Colts! Now everybody and their momma is talking about him gettin’ arrested up in Carmel on Sunday night for DUI, having controlled substances and facing four felony charges etc. However, nobody is talking about the stupidity sittin’ on his shoulder like The Great Gazoo.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! I’ve listened to every talking head give their opinion on this story and not one cat has kept it real and asked the obvious question. I’m not trippin’ on the fact that he was drunk or on drugs bruh because everybody and Big Momma’s house cat knows that he’s got a problem. That’s not the problem here playa.

The problem is, why is a cat with a “B” in front of his name for Billionaire driving his own vehicle playboy? That’s the real crime here. How stupid can you be? If he’s gonna destroy his life that’s on him. If he’s cool with being 54 and looking like he went to school with JoePa that’s on him bruh. Just don’t put other folks in danger!

What’s really blowin’ my mind is all of the people around this piece talking about how sorry they feel for this dun. If that were one of his players they’d be killin’ ‘em right now. “These freakin’ pro athletes are so ignorant! They make all of this money and don’t know how to act.” And God forbid that it was young black player they’d be calling him a thug and everything else under the sun this morning and saying that he should be kicked off of the team etc.

But since it’s the freakin’ guy that actually owns the team, they’ve got empathy for him. Now don’t get it twisted playboy, we should have empathy for anybody that has a problem with addiction. Why? Because addiction isn’t a respecter of persons. That animal will jump on anybody’s back and ride until the wheels come off regardless of race, color, creed or financial situation. I’m just sayin’ don’t act like ole Jim is beyond being held to a much higher standard than his players.

If Edgerrin James had enough bread and enough sense to own a limousine while he was a player with the Colts to keep from driving drunk or getting into trouble. Then the freakin’ owner of the team should be able to have a fleet of those joints and drivers for life.

Edge would always pull up with the fellas, get it in and roll out like Ludacris on these boyz. His brother would drive that joint and it was all good. That’s called being smart and Edge wasn’t even a drinker bruh! He just didn’t want to drive. So again, why is Irsay gettin’ pulled over? He should have been charged with DWB, “Driving While a Billionaire.” That’s an automatic beat down for the first offense.

Look here bruh; I don’t even have time to talk about how stupid the police officer was that took him to jail. I’ve got a BILLIONAIRE in the back seat of my car drunk with a pocket full of pills? I just hit the lottery playa! “Aye Jim call ya boy, your assistant or somebody at the house and tell ‘em I need 500 stacks right now and season tickets "fo life" like Mac 10 on the "Fitty" not the fifty but the fitty. I need it all in a brown paper bag and placed in my trunk. Tell him to bring somebody else to drive your joint home and we good. Why? Because I don’t even know you playboy. As a matter of fact, Jim who?”

Sending that dun to jail didn’t benefit anybody because he’s probably drunk right now inhaling pills at the crib in the Jacuzzi. Why? Because he’s not gonna stop until he decides that he wants to. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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