Sunshine

"That's who y'all went and got bruh?"

Mark Twain once said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” William Shakespeare gave is to us like this, “A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The Spanish philosopher, Miquel de Unamuno, was brilliant when he said, “A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.”

On that note, I’ll wear the fool’s hat of knowing what I’m talking about on this joint. The University of Minnesota made a complete fool of itself by firing Tubby Smith and now hiring Florida International’s Richard Pitino. The same cat that was a dull 11-9 in the Sun Belt Conference and 18-14 overall. They fired a stud that turned their program around, got them out of academic scandal and off of the bottom floor of the Big Ten. He took them to the NCAA Tournament 3 out of the 6 years he was on the job then boyz got greedy. They thought that they should be better and could swoop up VCU’s Shaka Smart only to get played.

They were like ole boy in Harlem Nights that hooked up with Sunshine, got his mind blown, then called his wife to break it off. “Hello it’s daddy, hey darlin’,  put ya mommy on the phone. Yeah Barbara it’s Ritchey! Yeah look-ed, I ain’t never coming home no more. Take it easy!” That was Minnesota bruh!

The long time VCU AD, Norwood Teague, now at Minnesota thought that because he had hired both Anthony Grant, now at Alabama and Shaka Smart that he had the Midas touch and could turn the dull Golden Gophers into real gold by grabbing something better than Tubby. Like I said before in the Hot Joint entitled, "Free Drinks" it’s freaking Minnesota bruh! You can’t become a powerhouse at Minnesota!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! There are no more new powerhouse’s in college athletics playboy! The rich only get richer. There are only up and coming programs that win for a few years and then the powerhouses take their coaches because the money becomes too good to keep passing up. Ask former George Mason head coach now at Miami, Jim Larranaga.

The Big Ten already has their established powers! They’re schools like  Indiana, Michigan State, Ohio State, Michigan and Wisconsin. Illinois has the infrastructure  to be a powerhouse again because of its proximity to the Chi. They just need a young coach that can recruit the city like Lou Henson used to do when he had studs like Kenny Battle, Kendal Gill, Nick Anderson and Marcus Liberty all from the Chicago area on the same team.

So Minnesota needs to stop fooling themselves into believing that just because a dun has the last name of Pitino that he has the ability to win like his old man. If he had the touch he wouldn’t be coming in with a dull resume’ of 11-9 from a wack conference.

On some real talk, would Tubby or anybody that looks like him been hired with a resume’ that looked like Pitino's? In my Ochocinco voice, “CHILD PLEASE!”

Boyz can act like racism died and went on to glory if they want to but all you have to do is pay attention. While I applaud Norwood for being willing to hire black coaches. Would he have been willing to fire a white coach with the same resume' as Tubby's and replace him with a 30 year old black coach with a 11-9 conference record? That's the ultimate question playboy!

Big Momma and PaPa used to always say, “In order to be just as good son, you gotta be 10 times better! So don’t ever be satisfied with your accomplishments because they’ll never be good enough! You can only rest when you die!” Now y'all can stop me when I start lyin'!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
The quote under the caption isn't real.

Free Drinks

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

The Buddhist monk, Bidhidharma, that lived during the 5th century once said, “The ignorant mind, with its infinite afflictions, passions, and evils, is rooted in the three poisons. greed, anger, and delusion.” The English ethologist and biologist, Richard Dawkins, spit this one to boyz in the barber shop, “A delusion is something that people believe in despite a total lack of evidence.” My man Carl Sagan, the astronomer, shut the building down when he said this, “It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” For duns that can't follow the intellectuals we got Big Momma saying, "Boy you better wake up and smell the pork baby!"

The University of Minnesota fired Tubby Smith one day after they lost to Florida in the NCAA Tournament. The athletic director, Norwood Teague, while announcing the decision said that it was time for a “fresh set of eyes “on the program.

Now ole Tubby was 124-81 (.610) in six seasons at Minnesota and had been to the NCAA Tournament three of those seasons. That means that half of the time that he was there they went dancing. Keep in mind playboy, this is Minnesota! This is the same program that has only been to one Final 4 in the history of the freaking program in 1997. They’ve been to only 4 Sweet 16’s (’82, ’89, ’90, ’97) and two Elite Eight’s (’90, ’97).

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The 1997 Final Four was forfeited due to NCAA sanctions because of academic fraud from ole Clem Haskins and Co running game. For all of my slow to comprehend duns out there in my Jed Clampett voice, “them boyz was cheatin’!” So that means that the freaking program hasn’t been worth a dime since 1990 pimpin’! It took them until 1972 to even make an NCAA Tournament appearance playa and they started playing basketball  up there in 1895! That's 17 years before GM started making the Cadillac homeboy! Shock value for all my boyz that like ridin' good!

But you fire a cat that has won more than 60% of his games? I keep hearing the clown in the background saying, “Well, they never finished better than 6th in the Big Ten and they were 46-62 in conference play!” You’re MINNESOTA for crying out loud! You play in the Big Ten with Indiana, Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Wisconsin and Illinois! On bad years those duns are gonna have better players and teams than you. I don’t care if John Wooden was coaching and had assistants like Bobby Knight and Jerry Tarkanian chewing that freaking towel and paying boyz with Vegas money. The Gophers will always be the Gophers bruh!

That's like Indiana firing it's football coach for losing its bowl game bruh! Pick one, any one! All programs like that want to do is win 6 games just to go to a bowl. I mean, they're cool with going to the toilet bowl bruh! That's Minnesota basketball! All they can do is win enough games to go the Big Dance. On some real talk, they should be cool with going to the NIT every other year! Like Big Momma used to say, "You can't get blood from a turnip."

It’s like the group of bad chicks that show up to the club every Friday night. There’s one that never gets hollered at because she keeps hangin’ out with a group of amazons. Now she’s a solid 6 but nobody pays attention to her because she's always with a group of 8's, 9’s and 10’s! She’s cool with it because she knows her place in the pecking order of good looks. Now when boyz start looking for a wife she'll move up because they're looking for something more than looks but at the club it's all cosmetic.

Minnesota jumped off of the deep end bruh! It’s like a boy going home and asking for a divorce from his faithful and loving wife because he was at a party that Beyonce’ was AT! So he thought to himself that he deserves HER. She didn’t say high or even look in his direction but he said, “I deserve that one so I’m going after her.” Who’s Minnesota going to get to come to that dump of a program that’s better than Tubby?

He had a national championship and 6 SEC titles in 10 seasons at Kentucky and the only reason he showed up in the freaking arctic is because nobody wanted him. You gotta be smart enough to figure that out! Now with all of that coaching talent he was only able to win 60% of the time up there. Now that they’ve dove off of the side of the cliff they’ll forever be the big chick at the club that always squeezes into the same outfit that her girl that’s a size 2 has on. Boyz are laughing at her but she thinks she’s getting all of the attention because she's drinking for free because she's with the dime that cats are really trying to get with.

Minnesota on the low low is going after Shaka Smart because ole boy Teague was the A.D. at VCU when they hired him! That's cool but just say it. Don't try to run game on us because I can spot a hustle a mile away!

Why? Because I grew up around criminals and gangstas! For y'all that's checkin', they ARE two different species of human being. You can be a criminal without being a gangsta but you can't be a gangsta without being a criminal!

Now what's gonna happen when UCLA backs the truck up and makes Shaka an offer that he can't refuse? Or he decides not to leave at all! Minnesota is gonna end up with the big chick in the tight sun dress with the crooked wig on just like the Lakers!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Quote under the caption isn't real.

Grand Theft

Ravens offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell, "I know y'all see this right?"

John F. Kennedy once said, “All of us do not have equal talent, but all of us should have an equal opportunity to develop our talents.” Viscount Samuel was smooth when he said, “Equality of opportunity is an equal opportunity to prove unequal talents.” Pookie the neighborhood jick has been saying for years, “I just needed a shot bruh!” Unfortunately, he kept taking the wrong kind.

There were 15 top NFL jobs vacant after 8 head coaches and 7 general managers were fired at the end the season. Two black head coaches Romeo Crennel and Lovie Smith and one black general manager, my cousin, Rod Graves, were in that number. However, all 15 jobs were filled with white candidates. In 2003 the Rooney Rule was implemented and named after the chairman of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dan Rooney. The rule simply states that every team has to interview at least one minority candidate every time there is a coaching or general manager opening. It doesn’t say that they have to hire them but they have to at least holler at them.

Now I hear some clown in the back ground screaming, “It’s not fair to force a boy to interview someone because they’re a minority.” Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Before the rule went into effect in 2003 only 6 minority coaches had ever been hired by the NFL in more than 80 years bruh! Since then 12 have been hired and 4 brothers have taken their teams to the Super Bowl, Tony Dungy, Lovie Smith, Mike Tomlin and Jim Caldwell and 2 of them have won it, Dungy and Tomlin!

So if you just look at the raw numbers bruh. In 10 years a third of the guys you hired took their teams to the Super Bowl and 50% of them won it! Where else can you get numbers like that? This tells me that the essence of the rule works!

I also hear clowns screaming, "Well we need more white cornerbacks or running backs in the league so until then shut up!" Here's the difference pimpin'! The white corner back and running back got an interview at the combine and at practice and got beat out by the most qualified player regardless of skin color. When you stop inviting white players to the combine and to training camp then that would be a problem. If only black kids were playing at the Pop Warner, high school or college level that WOULD be a problem but that's not happening so your argument sounds stupid. ALL players get the same opportunity to prove themselves worthy of playing, coaches and GM's don't always get the same opportunity playboy!

People blow me away being upset about Affirmative Action in this country! The only reason that there are such laws is because boyz wouldn’t even look at a minority if the rule didn’t state that they HAD too. Mike Tomlin wasn’t even on the radar screen when the Steelers hired him. But because of the rule he simply had an opportunity to be heard and this dun went on to win the Super Bowl. You’ll never know if a person is qualified if you never sit down with them and if the rule didn't force you to, you never would.

The rule is broken because many times that's all the team is doing it sitting down on GP just to say that they did. Then going on to hire the cat they were going to hire in the first place. Luckily the Steelers didn't do that when they hired Tomlin. Otherwise, they would be 1 Super Bowl short!

We don’t want hand outs in this country playa! All we want is an opportunity to be the best that we can possibly be. Seeing that we built this joint with more than 200 years of free labor that’s the least we could ask for. We just want the opportunity to prove that we’re qualified to suceed in any profession.

How is it that Jim Caldwell can take the Indianapolis Colts to the Super Bowl just 3 years ago, get fired because the Colts’ front office put the entire organization into Peyton Manning’s hands? So when he didn't play last year it was a wrap at no fault of Caldwell. He doesn’t get another head job but is hired as the freaking quarterback’s coach of the Baltimore Ravens with all of his talent? The Ravens finally fire their offensive coordinator, Cam Cameron, in December. Caldwell takes over the play calling duties and now they’re in the Super Bowl and this dun can’t get a job? That’s called stealing!

Something is definitely wrong with you if you can’t see the injustice in that homeboy! I don’t care what color a person is, but opportunity needs to be given to EVERYBODY that is qualified to do the job. At least sit down with a cat and hear him out. But if you legitimately interview cats like Caldwell or Lovie they would be head coaches right now.

Lovie took the Bears to the Super Bowl during the 2006 season and was 10-6 when he was fired this year! Don't tell me he isn't qualified to be a head coach in the NFL bruh! If duns like Andy Reid can recently have 3 straight losing seasons and it takes him only 6 days to find a new gig Lovie should be working SOMEWHERE! Tell me you just don't like his cologne or something but never unqualified!

The only reason rules are put in place is because personal bias and prejudice gets in the way of people getting the opportunity to succeed in this country! When people are denied the opportunity to be great it’s called grand theft! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

That's Crazy!

"I chilled at the crib for a year and still got a pay raise homeboy!"

Abraham Lincoln was a straight up G when he said, “These men ask for just the same thing, fairness, and fairness only. This, so far as in my power, they and all others, shall have.” Now when he broke that joint down the last thing that he was thinking about was college and professional sports because they didn’t exist at the time. However, the concept of doing the right thing did and treating folks fairly was paramount.

So why is it that the brothers in the world of coaching keep having to sit at the little kids table like the city councilman in the movie Four Brothers? Boyz can’t catch a break whereas their white counterparts many times can act a complete fool and still be rewarded.

Now Sean Peyton has been suspended for the entire year for running an illegal bounty system to reward cats for intentionally trying to hurt players and paying goons for the dirty work. That’s like contract killing on the street bruh because you could literally end a boyz career. As a result of that foolishness he’s been rewarded with a contract extension and the largest salary in NFL history of $8 million per year!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Now this dun has essentially been on house arrest all year doing Fed time and when he gets cut loose he’ll get a raise. Meanwhile, the brothers have to remain as clean as a whistle and be one of the top coaches in the business with no slip ups to get or keep their jobs.

If I’m lying I’m dying bruh! We just saw Avery Johnson get yanked last week after being named the Eastern Conference Coach of the month in October and November. We saw Mike Brown get carjacked only 5 games into the NBA season! Also ole boy, Jon Embree, got fired after only 2 seasons at Colorado and his predecessor Dan Hawkins had 5 seasons of losing before getting the can.

In the history of college football only one black coach has ever been fired and found another job at an FBS school and that’s Ty Willingham. He was fired from Notre Dame and then hired at the University of Washington. For y’all that’s checkin’ “History” means of all time, playa!

However, their white counterparts can put on some clown shoes and the nose and get a new job. If I’m lying I’m dying! Bobby Petrino can hire his mistress to work for him at the University of Arkansas then crash his bike with her on the back of the joint, lie about it, get fired and get a new job within 4 months at Western Kentucky.

Boyz try to forget that Mike Price was fired at Alabama in 2003 before he'd ever coached a game and spring ball wasn't even over for soliciting sex from students, buying them drinks, having sex with 2 strippers and then letting one of them order room service on the company credit card! Surely that ended his career right? In my Lee Corso voice, “Not so fast my friend!” Ole boy became the head coach of the University of Texas El Paso the following year and has been there ever since.

I know y’all remember George O’Leary? He was hired at Notre Dame in 2001 only to be fired two days later when they found out he was lying on his resume. This cat said that he had a Masters Degree from NYU-Stony Brook University! The problem is, that joint doesn’t exist bruh! NYU and Stony Brook are two separate schools that are 50 miles apart!

He also said that he earned 3 letters in football at the University of New Hampshire when he never got off of the bench homeboy! That ended his career right? Lee, where you at? “Not so fast my friend!” He went straight to the Minnesota Vikings as an assistant for 2 years then to the University of Central Florida as the head coach where he’s been posted up ever since.

Now Mike Haywood, a brother, accepted the University of Pittsburgh job in December of 2010 after winning the Mid-American Conference title at Miami of Ohio. After having the job for only 15 days he was arrested on a felony domestic violence charge on some baby momma drama. He was fired immediately and rightfully so. However, all of the charges were later dropped and now this dun can’t even get an assistant coaches job ANYWHERE! Y'all smell that?

So y’all tell me if I’m crazy or is the system is crazy because one of us is out of its freaking mind and dead wrong! These cats just want to sit at the adult table. They aren’t looking for a hand out or your sympathy. They just want to be dealt with fairly. Put all of the clowns and jokers in one room and leave them there, black or white. Don’t keep rewarding duns for breaking the rules and then firing guys that are simply trying to make an impact on young folk’s lives. Now if you can't win and you've been given ample time then it is what it is. But what kind of example are we setting for young people when we reward foolishness? I’m just sayin’! That's Crazy!!!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Moon Walkin'!

"Boy, I can't WAIT to get to the crib!"

The famed English author Samuel Butler once said, “Silence and tact may or may not be the same thing.”  The French poet Jean Cocteau said it this way, “Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far.” My boy Sir Isaac Newton shut the building down when he said, “Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.”

Well I guess ole Avery Johnson Jr. has never heard of any of those cats let alone the word tact or the words “my old man is gonna kill me when he gets to the crib!” On Thursday the Brooklyn Nets fired Avery Johnson Sr. after a 14-14 start even though he was just named Eastern Conference Coach of the Month just 24 days earlier. Did he get a raw deal? Sure, but in response, his teenaged son Avery Jr. all but pulled his pants down on Twitter to express his displeasure.

"This is a f------- Outrage. My dad is a great coach, he just got coach of the month and they Fire him. #Smh. Completely new team he had. The expectations were way to high for this team. We didn't even have a losing record.... Didn't even give my dad a full season. #OUTRAGE"

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Can you imagine your old man getting fired from his JOB and you publicly embarrassing him before he even gets to the crib? OMG!! Do you understand what kind of fireworks must have gone off at the Johnson estate/crib/flat last night bruh? I can hear Avery now in that whiny country voice trying to curse and move furniture around at the same time! I would have paid a fortune to be a fly on the wall with some Now & Laters and a red pop to see that one homeboy.

He’s already pissed that the Nets just let him go and now his son is doing exactly what he’s been telling him not to do. You know the drill if you’ve got kids. If you’ve said it once you’ve said it a million times. “You can’t just say anything on Twitter bruh! You gotta use common sense. Don’t embarrass the family name. Most importantly, if it sounds ignorant when you write it, it’s gonna be extremely ignorant when somebody else reads it!”

No matter how many times you say it, you still have to manage their Twitter, Facebook and now Instagram accounts because they’re FREAKING kids without a fully functional frontal lobe! For those of you that don’t know! The frontal lobe on a human being doesn’t fully form until a person is about 25 years old. The frontal lobe is where judgment is formed. That’s why you see young cats out here always doing stupid things.

When you see older people doing stupid things they are the duns that got out of line when they were handing them joints out! SMH! I just hope Junior isn’t bruised up too bad because if that were my dad, I would have looked like Willie Lump Lump this morning.

There goes the naive parent saying, "That's why my kid isn't on Twitter or Facebook!" Listen here playa, your kid is on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram! You just don't know it! These duns have alias' and internet access you don't know about! You better wake up and smell the coffee! All they need is an email address and a password!

Can you imagine James Evans getting fired from the car wash and J.J. getting on Twitter to voice his displeasure? James’ new job would have been trying to beat a murder charge playa! He would have set the projects on fire trying to get at J.J and I can hear Florida in the kitchen now, "Damn, Damn, Damn!"

Can you imagine Joe Jackson getting fired from U.S. Steel the "G" and little Michael Jackson getting on Twitter and cursing to the world? We would have never moon walked, beat it, looked at the man in the mirror or ever figured out who’s bad.You already know ole Avery was moon walkin' to some Billie Jean last night bruh! I just hope the swelling goes down before the holiday break is over because I’d hate to see that keep Avery from working again! Y'all stop me when I stop lyin' bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport
I have no proof that Avery jumped on his kid! This is completely my hilarious opinion!