How Derrick won, Christian got screwed & DeShawn looked like an ole pimp! "Lil' Stevie"

"If Stevie can get away with it, Ima do it too!" 

Saint Augustine, the Christian theologian and philosopher, once said, "In the absence of justice, what is sovereignty but organized robbery?" Johnny Carson gave it to us like this, "Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place." Then George Washington stood up, took his dull false teeth out and spit, "Bad seed is a robbery of the worst kind: for your pocket-book not only suffers by it, but your preparations are lost and a season passes away unimproved." 

Well playas...if the Heisman Trophy is supposed to go to the MOST OUTSTANDING football player in college football then Christian McCaffery got robbed and all of his preparations were lost and most importantly this season passed away unimproved. On Saturday night Alabama's Derrick Henry won the most prestigious individual award in sports as the dun that did it all could only sit and watch. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I told you boyz last week in the Hot Joint entitled "Shaft" that Christian was gonna get robbed because these fake media-types were goin' to bypass the white boy tottin' the rock for the now traditional brother tottin' it. There was a time in this country where a brother couldn't win the Heisman because of his race and now a white boy can't win it unless he's playin' quarterback.  Now you can act like it ain't what it is if you want to, but it is what it is. 

Again, if we're talkin' about the MOST OUTSTANDING player then there is no question McCaffery was your guy!! This dun put up 3,496 ALL-PURPOSE yards to break Barry Sanders' 1988 NCAA record for All-Purpose yards!!! He put up 1,847 yards from scrimmage alone bruh!!! Then he was catchin' the rock and returnin' kick offs too! He did EVERYTHING for Stanford but empty the freakin' bath water, usher and take tickets out there. Derrick Henry put in work but he didn't do all of that!!! 

Now don't get it twisted playboy, Derrick put up crazy numbers but they weren't Christian McCaffery joints! Lil' Stevie Wonder put-up 1,986 yards and scored 23 touchdowns and broke Hershel Walker's SEC single season rushing record. That's just a conference record playa! Ole boy broke Barry Sanders' NCAA record!! Don't even try to tell me that a freakin' conference rushing record is greater than an NCAA All-Purpose yards record and we're askin' boyz to decide who the MOST OUTSTANDING player is. It ain't even close!!! 

Oh, you wanna know why I called that dun Lil' Stevie Wonder? Because they both are holdin' on to hair cuts that look a freakin' mess! They both have dull reseedin' hairlines and they have the nerve to try to rock braids in Stevie's case and dreads in Derrick's case. I'll even give Stevie a pass because that dun can't see that he looks like a darn fool. Some cat in his camp keeps tellin' him that it's hot and that's the look that all the ladies think is sexy. But Derrick can see that his joint looks a hot mess and he immortalized it by winnin' the Heisman Trophy! Now boyz gotta see that horrific hair cut FOREVER. Put that dun right next to RGIII's ole ignorant photo with them darn plats. 

Speakin' of immortalizin' a picture bruh! Did you see the foolishness that Clemson's DeShawn Watson had on? That dun had on an orange suit with blue socks on and a polka dot shirt with a that ignorant butt chain on over his shirt and tie. And that's the edited version. Now the polka dot shirt would have been hot with the right outfit. But he looked like LeRoy the Pimp from the Bishop Magic Don Juan Pimp School of Greater Chicago dressed him. That's the foolishness that I'm talkin' about bruh! Where are these kids daddies at? And if nobody in his family knows better where are the duns at Clemson? 

You can't let that kid show up in New York lookin' like he just felll off of a circus train in the south. For all of you young cat s out there that think that you can dress. Rule No.1, you can ONLY wear a chain when you don't have  collar! If you have a collar on the freakin' shirt you CANNOT wear a chain! It's a dressed affair! YOU CAN'T WEAR A DARN CHAIN! PERIOD! YOU'RE NOT GOIN' TO THE CLUB BRUH! 

Back to McCaffery gettin' shafted. See, brothers have been accustomed to gettin' screwed because the world at one point just wasn't ready for them. Jim Brown was the best human being walkin' the earth playin' football in 1956 when they bypassed him and gave it to ole dull Paul Hornung playin' on a 2-8 Notre Dame team! Why? Because America wasn't ready to give a black man the highest football award at that time. As a matter of fact, Jim Brown wasn't even close in the votin'. That dun finished 5th and he was clearly the best college football player breathin' that year. It wasn't until 1961 that boyz had the guts to finally give Ernie Davis the Heisman. 

So now freakin' 60 years later a vast majority of a white voters is did the same thing to Christian McCaffery. Unless the white boy was playin' quarterback they weren't about to vote for him to win the darn Heisman! A darn shame bruh! Because there is no way you can look at what these kids have accomplished this year and tell me or Christian and his folks that Derrick Henry should've walked out of New York with that darn trophy! And that's the edited version!! And if we're really gonna keep it 100! Derrick Henry should have finished 3rd in the voting' because ole pimp suit put up more than 4,300 yards and scored 40 touchdowns leadin' the No.1 team in the country to the only undefeated season in the country! Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Dull: adjective - ridiculous and shameful playa

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