Time Waster (Why Everybody and their momma will lie to you about lovin'soccer today)

"Nothin' else was on so they had to watch us."

On a Sunday afternoon just after the 4^th of July and all of the foolishness of boyz causin’ havoc, folks are bored to death and there’s nothin’ else on television, so soccer it is. As I’m sittin’ here watchin’ the end of this foolishness three cats start arguin’ about wastin’ time. Benjamin Franklin put his brew down and said, “If time be of all things most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Mitch Hedberg, the well-known comedian, leaned back in his seat and said, “I like re-fried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.” Then Helen Miren, the English actor, spit the truth on a boy with, “There’s no good way to waste your time. Wasting time is just wasting time.”

Well playas…everybody and their baby’s momma or daddy is actin’ like they give two rips about soccer this mornin’ because the U.S. Women’s team won the World Cup. From a perspective of American pride it’s a great thing. However, nobody gives a rip about soccer in this country. For 99.9999% of duns talkin’ World Cup soccer today it’s a freakin’ filler because there’s no NFL, college football or NBA to talk about. That’s real talk playboy.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Boyz don’t even care about America’s Past-time around here anymore. It’s all about football and basketball bruh! Why? Because until the best athletes in our country start playin’ soccer from the time that they are in little league nobody is gonna give a darn. And that’s the edited version. Soccer is huge in other countries because their best athletes play the sport. Why? Becayse they make the most bread! That’s not the case in the U.S. So until they start payin' millions of dollars to chase that ball, it ain't gonna happen. So guess what pimpin'? It ain't gonna happen. 

Could you imagine how excitin’ it would be to watch cats like Adrian Peterson, Megatron, Odell Beckham, Kobe in his prime, freakin' Russell Westbtook, LeBron, Gerald Green or the Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders type of athletes play soccer? Or duns like Tamika Catchings, Swin Cash, Candace Parker, Sue Bird, Serena and Venus or the Billie Jean King, Jackie Joyner- Kersee or the Flo-Jo’s of the world play along with Hope Solo? I'm talkin' freak athletes not just good athletes. Then boyz would be all in because you would have the biggest, the strongest and the fastest alive playin’ the game. Then I’d sit down and watch it.

Let’s keep real playa, most of the duns playin’ soccer in America are the cats that didn’t make it past little league in football, basketball or track. So they settled into the sport that they could make because the best athletes in this country didn’t go out for the soccer team. Oh, am I lyin’? I see it every day! Especially in boys, now girls may be slightly different because girls pick sports for far different reasons than guys. Guys pick sports based on props and attendance playa. If nobody’s at the game then they aren’t playin’ it. Dude’s want the publicity and props of bein’ popular with the women. Nobody’s at the soccer or baseball games pimpin’! That’s why boyz aren’t playin’ them.

So while everybody is actin’ like they know something about soccer today don’t be fooled by the enthusiasm comin’ out of the radio or TV playa. He or she is simply wastin’ time until the NFL and college football kicks off .

If boyz are honest today most cats hadn’t watched a single game of the freakin’ World Cup until Sunday. So stop it! You sound crazy. And don’t expect me to rave about it this mornin’ because the U.S. won the joint. I’m the only dun out here bein’ honest with you today. I don’t give two dead flies smashed about who won the World Cup. I watch the last 20 minutes of it because the U.S. was winnin’ and it was cool to see the reactions of players winnin’ a championship. Other than that, it’s as borin’ as watchin’ baseball. Now that it’s all over we can start preparin’ our minds for some football. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, girl etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about. It's non-gender specific.
3) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!