Top 10 HOOD Bracket Rules for March Madness

"It's on and poppin' playboy!"

March Madness is officially here. The two greatest weeks in sports next to College Football season in my opinion is sittin' on top of us bruh. Regardless of whether you agree with me or not, it's a good time. Before we get started this week I just want to lay out some ground rules for filling out your freakin' brackets playas and playettes!

Here are the Top 10 HOOD Bracket Rules:

1. You can only fill out one bracket! I hate when people show up to work with 10 joints filled out and try to win the office pool. "If it's shady and you know it clap ya hands." Clap! Clap! When the tournament is over this person gallivants around like they really knew something about college basketball. Sorry excuse for a sports fan!!!

2. Don't fill out your kid's bracket! If he or she can't talk or walk they can't participate. If they're still gruntin' and stinkin' then they can't have a freakin' bracket! That's final. I get tired of losing to some kid that's 8 months old named Shaniqua or Lil' Money with snot hanging out of their nose wearing a pinky ring and some Jordan's. I'm serious!

3. Don't pick the stupid teams based on the uniforms! If you haven't watched the games to this point just say that you don't know and bow out gracefully.

4. Don't try to change your bracket once all of your Final Four teams lose! I get tired of duns that pick boyz to make it to the Final Four and then by next Friday they've got somebody else on their bracket because all of their joints are sittin' at the crib. The bracket police is gonna be blastin' boyz for violating these rules.

5. Don't show up to the sports bar on Thursday talking trash or wearing your team logo if your school isn't in the tournament. You're on punishment for crying out loud!! If your school sucks then you have to stay at the crib! That includes Indiana and Purdue fans too. If you show up to the joint talking about next year you're gonna get drug out of the joint and beat in the parking lot. The tournament is about this year bruh.  Also no brew and wings for you or your boyz if you dare show up with team logo's and your school isn't dancin', you gotta sit in the corner in the Ginger Ale and hot dogs section all night.

6. Don't install that stupid software with the fake graphs on it to try to fool your boss when he walks past your computer. He knows that you're watchin' the games because he's watching the freakin' games in his office. Just keep it real son, order pizza and go to the conference room and watch it together. Ain't no sense in lyin' to each other.

7. Don't get on Facebook or Twitter lyin' about being at the games. Who cares? You always got some dun tellin' boyz that he's at the freakin' game and he hasn't left his driveway. It's better to watch it at the crib or at the sports bar anyway you idiot! There's always a clown trying to big time like nobody else can just walk up and buy a ticket to a half sold arena because half the teams had to fly across the country to play in the stinkin' tournament and their fans only had 48 hours to book a flight.  On some real talk, who can afford to do that? Facebook a boy when you've got court side seats in Dallas for the Final Four if you wanna impress me pimpin'!

8. If you win the bracket challenge and get the traveling trophy don't try to keep the stupid thing or try to pawn it down at Big Momma's Pawn & Chicken Shack! You can't do anything with a trophy in the streets but get beat up or drink out of it and Ned the Whino just drinks straight out of the bottle! That's why they call it a traveling trophy your moron! It's travels!!! Return it next year and I mean it!!

9. Don't call in sick Thursday and Friday because you'll look like a complete fool! Trust me. Those duns are still unemployed from getting fired last year for sittin' in the the sports bar gettin' it in simply because they didn't invite their bosses to join them. Just be honest bruh because he would have rolled with you and you'd still have a job! Use a vacation day and you won't have to hide out all day! Trust me!

10. Finally, don't spend the next 24 hours asking folks "Who's your Final Four teams" so you can pick yours. This is an independent project tonight. No cheating!

You've officially been warned by the ghetto bracket police! You know how we get it in so let's get it in!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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