The REAL reason Jordan is more MYTH than he is G.O.A.T.! "Brand"

"C'mon bruh! Why you pullin' numbers up?" 

Ann Druyan, the well-known author, once said, "For most of the history of our species we were helpless to understand how nature works. We took every storm, drought, illness and comet personally. We created myths and spirits in an attempt to explain the patterns of nature." Ansel Adams, the photographer, gave it to us like this, "Myths and creeds are heroic struggles to comprehend the truth in the world." Then Hypatia, the ancient Greek mathematician, knocked a boy'z drink out of his hand when he spit, Fables should be taught as fables, myths as myths, and miracles as poetic fantasies. To teach superstitions as truths is a most terrible thing. The child mind accepts and believes them, and only through great pain and perhaps tragedy can he be in after years relieved of them." 

Well playas...not only children but grown "A" men will experience great pain when I finish dispellin' all of the myths and fables boyz have been taught their entire lives about their beloved Michael Jordan! When you ask 10 different cats who the greatest quarterback of all-time is you'll probably get 10 different answers. You'll hear duns say Tom Brady, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Dan Marino, Otto Graham, etc., etc., etc. If you ask those same cats who the best baseball player of all-time is you'll get 5 or 6  different answers. And guess what playa? They probably won't be wrong. But if you ask these same cats who the best basketball player of all-time is and a boy doesn't say Jordan in harmony! He's gettin' cursed out and his ghetto passed will be revoked on the spot! 

Well let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Jordan is more myth than he is real bruh! Don't get it twisted for one minute, HE'S ONE OF THE GREATEST BASKETBALL PLAYERS OF ALL-TIME! But he ain't the BEST hands down!!!!! Why? Because the numbers don't support that foolishness!!! The more time that passes from Mike actually playin' and the more the Jordan Brand grows the more his legend grows. 

He's like Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster or the legend of Boggy Creek! Most young cats wearin' his shoes have heard about him but have never seen him. They're livin' off of highlights and wearin' his gear so that's good enough for them. You can't tell a boy that Mike wasn't the greatest to EVER lace them up right? Well let me put it where the goats can get it and that way we don't have any confusion once I'm done. 

In order to be the hands down GREATEST player to EVER play the game you've got to be able to do it all right? Playin' basketball isn't like playin' football where each position is completely unique to other positions. The quarterback doesn't do a lot of the same things as a linebacker or guard. They do completely different things. That's why you can't ask the question, who's the greatest football player of all-time. It's strictly by position. However, hoop is different. The skills sets are interchangeable for the most part. Basketball players all shoot, rebound, share the ball and play defense right? So in order to be best the freakin' player of all-time you've gotta do all of that pretty much at the top of the list right? 

Well let's check out ole Mike!! Jordan is the All-Time leader in average points per game at 30.12!!! And that's where this foolishness goes off of the freakin' rails bruh! He's not No.1 in ANY other category! In total points he's ranked 4th behind the scorin' leader Kareem by more than 6,000 points! In field goals he's ranked 4th with Kareem No.1! When we look at field goal percentage DeAndre Jordan is at the top of the list with Jordan sittin' at 115th playa!! Let's run over to 3 point shootin'! Ray Allen is the best with duns like Kobe at No.11, LeBron at No.30  and Mike isn't even in the top 200!! Stay with me bruh! Okay you duns want me to pull up 3 point shootin' percentage because maybe Mike is hidin' in the bushes somewhere. Well Steve Kerr is No.1 and Jordan ain't even in the top 250 chief!!! 

Boyz are butt naked and foamin' at the mouth mad at me at this point but I'm not finished with this foolishness. Let's peel the onion back and see who shared the ball the best. John Stockton led the list with a dun named LeBron comin' in at 18th all-time! But Jordan wasn't even in the top 250!!! Do you know what they call duns below the 250 mark? The Black Hole bruh!! He's down there foolin' around with duns like Carmelo! Let's go to free throws! Karl Malone is No.1 and Jordan is No.5. 

Okay let's check out what was happenin' on defense! John Stockton led the way with steals and Jordan came in at No.3! Good stuff right there playa. Hakeem Olajuwon was the No.1 cat in blocks and Mike came in at 106. These are the fact playboy! All accordin' to Basketball-Reference.com! I got boyz jawin' at me about Mike winnin' the Defensive Player of the Year and he only won it once bruh in 1988!!! Dikembe and Ben Wallace won it 4 times!!! Mike's got less than freakin' Kawhi Leonard who has 2!!! Stop it!!! You sound crazy! The numbers don't lie! 

Don't get mad at me because I just told you that Santa ain't real, the tooth fairy is your old man and the the Easter Bunny is the old lady next door that pulls her teeth out to curse at the neighborhood kids for ridin' their bikes through her yard. 

"Aight bruh! Chill out!" 

Anytime you start whoofin' with boyz about Jordan the first thing they pull out of their underwear is "Mike's got 6 rings!!" Okay bruh, if that's your go to joint lets look at that foolishness too. If Mike's got 6 rings and we all know that to be a fact, even though a title is a TEAM award and not an individual joint. I'll still let you put that foolishness on the table. So with Mike havin' 6  he's still middle of the road in that category pimpin'. There are 9 other duns with more titles than he has. 

Oh, so you want me to name these cats that you wanna act like don't exist? Here you go, Bill Russell 11, Sam Jones 10, Tom Heinson 8, K.C. Jones 8, Tom "Satch" Sanders 8, John Havlicek 7, Jim Loscutoff 7, Frank Ramsey 7, Robert Horrey 7! And please don't act like you didn't know that Kareem, Bob Cousy and Scottie Pippen all have 6 just like Jordan. 

Even if you wanna start throwin' MVP's around which in my opinion don't count for jack squat because the dull fake media-types vote on this foolishness and Jordan really should have 10 of these joints. However, he doesn't and Kareem leads the way with 6 and both Mike and Bill Russell each own 5. 

So how in THEE world can everybody and their baby's momma's momma, Ms. Jackson, jump out of the birthday cake and say that Michael Jeffery Jordan is hands down the GREATEST basketball player of All-Time when the numbers simply say otherwise. It ain't even close that he would be the greatest of All-Time! Boyz should at least be able to say multiple cat's names like they do when asked about quarterbacks and or baseball players etc. 

Duns should be able to say, Wilt, Bill, Kobe, LeBron, etc. etc. without losin' their ghetto passes! Why? Because the myth is greater than the player. How can you be the greatest player to ever play the game when the numbers don't suggest that he is. I'm just sayin' and stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender speicific. 
3) Pimpin': noun - the person that I'm passionately tryin' to get my point across to.