Are You Kidding Me!!!?

The Ville & Trey Burke: "What the....?"

My boy Aristotle one said, “We are what we repeatedly do! Success therefore, is not an act but a habit.” Vince Lombardi gave it to us like this, “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” The 17th century British Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli, broke it down like this, “One secret to success in life is for a man has to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.”

Well, the Louisville Cardinals were ready for the opportunity, naïve enough to believe that work always comes before success and simply made a habit out of winning. They followed those simple instructions on Monday night and won their third national title, their first since 1986, 82-76 in a classic over Michigan.

They put in work all over the floor after being down 12 points in the first half. Peyton Siva pulled a Kobe and put boyz on his back. Sure, he only finished with 8 points but it was his leadership and critical buckets down the stretch that kept them alive late. Luke Hancock came off of the bench looking like a corporate tax lawyer and set the joint on fire with 22 points to not only lead the Ville to the promise land but to also pick up the game’s Most Outstanding Player Award.

The cat that nobody is talking about this morning that made the biggest difference in the ballgame was ole boy Chene Behenan! This stud finished with 15 points and 12 rebounds. Michigan was killin’ Louisville in the first half on the glass bruh! They couldn’t buy a rebound from a dope fiend in an alley behind a liquor store in the ghetto. By half time the Cards had been out rebounded 18-9 or something crazy like that. When the smoke cleared the rebounding deferential was 31-26 Cards! Michigan was held to only 8 joints in the second half. Talk about ballin’! I say give Behenan half of that Most Outstanding Player joint and we'll call it even.

Now I can’t give Louisville all of the credit because ole dull Jim Beilein completely out coached himself. Trey Burke, the National Player of the Year, picked up two fouls early in the first half then that dull mug sat him down for 12 minutes. Yeah, I know that Spike Albrecht came off of the bench unconscious shooting from the parking lot and scored 17 points in the first half going 4-4 from downtown. However, by taking Burke off of the floor for that long he also took his leadership off of the floor. Albrecht kept the water out of the boat but he couldn’t give you the presence of the National Player of the Year. That's like taking a dragon and cutting his head off and expecting him to still spit fire!

That move alone may have cost them a national championship because Michigan was rolling at that point! Cool, go ahead and keep Albrecht out there because he was "sick wit it" but you gotta trust the best player in America to be smart enough not to keep fouling. He’s a freaking point guard bruh not a center bangin’ in the blocks. Beilein straight up panicked!

It’s like they carjacked a boy sitting at the light, took his whip, his gun and his girl, drove two blocks and gave it all back. It was like the feds comin’ in on a cat at 4:37am catching him with all of the dope and the guns in the house and then deciding that it wasn’t fair that he was asleep when they hit the joint. So they let him go and told him they would be back tomorrow at noon.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The refs must have been blind, def, cripple and crazy with the way they called that game against Michigan in the second half! I saw boyz getting mugged, beat over the head and stripped in broad daylight and the whistle kept gettin’ swallowed. Stop me when I start lyin'! I'm not making excuses for Michigan because I could care less! My life doesn't change one way or the other. I'm just telling you that my eyes work.

Now was it just me or did Trey Burke look like he was the valedictorian of the Dwayne Wade School of Ending up on your Back after Every Freaking Shot? That dun stayed on the floor all night bruh! Also was it just me or did Rick Pitino look like he'd been sitting at the MAC counter at Macy's all day? That cat had on more make up than Lady Ga Ga, Little Richard and Bozo the Clown! All he needed were the shoes. Which one? Pick one, any one! He looked like a vampire out  there pimpin'.

Was it just me or did the brotherhood cringe every time they put the camera on ole dull Tim Hardaway Sr. with that hot scull cap on inside in Hot-lanta? Big Momma was at crib cursin' every time they scanned over to him looking like a cheap thug at the car wash and he's got tall bread!!!

All props to Louisville because the best TEAM won the game! In order to win championships the entire unit, including the coaches, have to perform at the highest level and that they did.  Michigan having them on the ropes early is called a spurt, not a game! Note to ole dull Jim Beilein:  “Please understand one simple freaking rule! Never sit the best player in America for 12 minutes during the national championship game! It COULD come back to bite you!” On some real talk, Rick Pitino just out coached him!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
The quote under the caption isn't real.

That Dull Timeout

"Thanks playboy!"

Brendan Francis, the Irish poet, once said, “No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.” The famous publisher and playwright, T.S. Eliot, gave it to us like this, “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” Pookie and Ray Ray nem kept it real by saying, “Hey dawg, you need to get over it bruh and stop trippin’!”

The Michigan Wolverines are playing in the national championship game for the first time since the Fab Five were wearing the Maze and Blue in 1993. What’s so dull about it is that the entire Fab is in route to Atlanta to support the current team except Chris Webber who actually lives in the “A.”

Jalen Rose did a podcast on Grantland with Bill Simmons on Sunday night to make a plea for Chris to drive the freaking 15 minutes to the arena tonight. Get this, Jalen jumped on Magic’s private jet after they finished the ABC broadcast of the Lakers/Clippers joint in LA. Juwan Howard has a game with the Heat on Tuesday night so he’s making the trip and Ray Jackson and Jimmy King will meet the fellas there. But boyz gotta beg Chris to show up?

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! At some point you gotta grow up playboy! Who is he blaming?  HE CALLED THE DULL TIMEOUT! HE WAS THE ONE THAT GOT “CAUGHT” TAKING THE BREAD AND TRYING TO PUNK OLE BOY BY NOT PAYING HIM BACK!  HE WAS THE ONE THAT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WINS BEING VACATED! HE WAS THE ONE THAT CAUSED THE BANNERS TO BE TAKEN DOWN! Nobody else! So if anybody should be dull it’s the other 4 cats! Not him!

So if they have moved on then ole Chris should too. What they were able to accomplish was nothing short of remarkable and it should be celebrated. They changed the game of basketball playa. Five freshman put the swagger into the game with the baggy shorts, black socks and black sneakers bruh! Boyz always want to give Jordan the credit for that but for those of us that were grown in ’91, saw the Fab Five change the game.

What happened to Chris Webber and that team was meant to happen to them bruh. An old timer once told me, “Everything that happens is God caused or God allowed.” If you don’t believe me go read the book of Job. The devil had to get permission playboy! God could care less who won the game. However, he allowed Chris to make that mistake to become the man he is today. I'm preachin' but y'all ain't listen'! Too busy playin' in the pew and Big Momma is gonna pinch that thigh if you don't straighten up.

If they hadn’t gone through the adversity that they went through they never would have become the positive examples that they are today. Sometimes you gotta go through something to get to where you’re going.

"Who would have thought Chris would have been the dull one?"

Look at the successful careers these cats have had as a result of that dull timeout. That timeout and having to watch those banners being taken down became the motivation to become even better. Chris Webber played 15 years in the league which included becoming the Rookie of the Year and being an All-Star 5 times. Since then he has become a successful analyst for NBA TV.  Jalen put in 14 years in the league and is now a successful analyst for ESPN/ABC. Juwan is still playing! Well, he’s still puttin’ on a uniform but you understand what I’m saying pimpin’!  All because of that dull timeout!

Things happen in all of our lives along the way that are devastating but they happen for a reason. They give us the strength to become better people. That dull timeout and the banners being taken down was a part of the Fab Five’s lot in life and if that’s as bad as it gets then it is what it is. However, that dull timeout is the reason why Chris Webber SHOULD be in the building tonight to cheer on the Maze & Blue!

Gotta give Jalen mad props for puttin' that boy on blast! I just pushed him out in traffic. However, ole Jalen needs to stop lyin' to us about not having beef with Chris cuz if he was your boy you wouldn't have put him on blast. Since ALL hoods in America are the same and they both grew up in one. You can almost guarantee Chris won't be there tonight because Jalen just disrespected him by violating the code.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
The quote under the caption isn’t real.

Singin' & Dancin'

"Turn up the music playboy!"

The French poet, Anatole France, once said, “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” Harry S. Truman kept it real when he said, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” Mark Twain standing around with the fellas broke this down, “There are two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. This first group is less crowded.”

Yeah, ole Mark was right! We started two weeks ago with 68 duns with aspirations of cutting down the nets and now there are two, the Louisville Cardinals and the Michigan Wolverines! On some real talk, 68 cats showed up but only about 10 of them actually expected to get to Atlanta playboy.

Sports are no different than real life because you’ve got boyz always talking about being great but their actions say just the opposite. An old timer told me once, “Son, the way you do anything is the way you do everything.” How many  teams were just happy to get into the big dance? Boyz that were celebrating to get in weren’t looking to win a national championship! They had already accomplished what they had set out to do. Dance!

It’s like the cat that talks about hooking up with the successful bad chick but all he really wants to do is stand next to her so boyz can think he’s with her. Why? Because it’s easier to look like the man than to be the man!

"Thank's for lookin' out!"

Gotta give mad props to Wichita State for not being satisfied with the music playing or standing next to the bad chick. They had Louisville discombobulated leaning on the ropes with their mouth pieces hanging and couldn’t finish them off. Instead of continuing to jab, they kept going for the knockout punch and let them regain their composer to pull the joint off 72-68.  The Ville had boyz holding Mint Juleps nervous last night bruh! After a couple standing 8-counts they finally pulled it off and Tupac and his boyz weren't fighting in the lobby afterwards either.

The young Michigan Wolverines let the world know that they were more than, “Trey and the Burketts!” With Trey only putting up 7 points on 1 of 8 shooting they still attacked the Syracuse zone like grown men to advance to the national title game on Monday night with a 61-56 win.

Ole boy Mitch McGary has gone from being a stage hand on the tour to singing solos and carrying boyz. This dun has only started the last 5 games and now he’s playing like a lottery pick! While you’re playin’, this cat is about to get drafted off of 6 games! Stop me when I start lyin’!

I was happy to see my homeboy Glenn Robinson’s son, Glenn III, do what his daddy couldn’t do and that’s not only make it to the Final Four but advance to the national title game.  The home team is pulling for yet another player from the G or should I say a player with G roots to do great things. His daddy was rich so the hood and everything connected to it is his godfather! He’s got an honorary ghetto pass on his daddy’s strength, 2-5 for life playa!

Don’t get too comfortable Cardinal and Wolverine fans because this joint is going to be a battle. So enjoy the festivities and trash talk today because tomorrow everybody’s gotta go to their respective corners and wait for the bell! In my Michael Buffer voice, “LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!”

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
The quotes under the captions aren't real!

Free What?

"Honoring Ware? I call it taking advantage of him playboy!"

King Abdullah II once said, “Whenever you have a crisis, you’re always going to have the extremists taking advantage of the situation.” Bill Clinton gave it to us like this, “There will always be bad guys out there in the world who will try to take advantage of people’s vulnerabilities.” Old man Mr. Willie down at the shoe shine joint just said, “Aight young fella, don’t take no wooden nickels out there!”

Since the beginning of time boyz have been taking advantage of folks. You can go back as far as 92 BC during the Roman-Persian conflicts then travel through time to the early American slave trade on to big time college athletics. If there’s ever an opportunity to take advantage of people some dun will find and exploit it.

Louisville’s Kevin Ware shattered his leg last week in the Regional Final as he and his Cardinal teammates were attempting to get to Atlanta this week for the Final Four. Adidas and the University of Louisville have been selling shirts all week with ole boy’s number 5 on the joint. It reads, “Rise to the Occasion” with Ware’s No.5 substituted for the “S” in “Rise.”

Now they stopped selling the joints on Friday after they’ve already made a grip. For y’all that are sitting here dazed and confused, that’s hood for a boat load of paper, scratch, cheese, scrilla, dinero or bread depending upon where you’re from! These cats told you and I that they were honoring Ware by using his number. Big Momma calls it taking advantage of my baby because they clearly didn’t cut him in on the action. If they would have he’d become ineligible to ever play again. How’s them apples?

There is already an existing law suit pending against the NCAA and EA Sports for using the likeness of players without their permission filed by former UCLA Bruin Ed O'Bannon. Schools have been selling student-athletes jerseys in the bookstores for years and now a cat can even buy a video game and be himself on the joint! How cool is that? Not very, once he figures out that he’s not getting paid for it. But the NCAA will tell you and I that it’s all about the student-athlete!

In my Big Momma in extremely large curlers and that dusty old house coat voice, “You right! It’s all about you making as much money as you can off of my baby and then finding somebody else’s child to take advantage of when you're done with mine!” Y’all can stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!

For the clown in the background that’s about to fix his mouth to say, “THEY’RE GETTING A FREE EDUCATION MAN!” First of all, somebody punch that dun in the eye for being dumb enough to even think that. Is it free? Looks like a whole bunch of work to me homie. Ask the kids that are about to play in this Final Four how many classes they’ve been to over the past two and a half weeks. Then look up the amount of bread that each school is pulling in as a result of the freaking tournament through outright payments from the NCAA and the ancillary products sold as a result of licensing agreements etc. We haven’t even began to talk about all of the bread the alumni is channeling the schools way because they’re winning right now.

 Then put your eye on the 14 year $10.8 billion contract that CBS and Turner Broadcasting inked in 2010 to televise the joint. Did I mention the $740 million that the NCAA gets as a result of all of this? It doesn’t sound free to me playboy! Sounds like free labor especially when you understand that a scholarship is nothing more than an absorbed cost to the university. It doesn’t cost the school any more money to teach a class if there are 400 people in the joint as opposed to 401! Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st!

If you’re a young stud out there and the opportunity presents itself for you to go the league NOW, you better pack yo bags pimpin'. There are no guarantees in life except the guaranteed bread in the NBA for a lottery pick at 3 years $10 million! Sign on the dotted line and keep your nose clean playa! If you get hurt they've got to pay you all of that bread!

Don’t let some clown tell you that you need to stay one more year in school to improve your game. Didn’t you see Kevin Ware shatter his leg without contact with another player? Every time you step on the floor there is the potential of suffering a major injury that could potentially end your career. Trust me! When you can't play anymore you are worthless to the university! Why? Because a regular student doesn't make the school any money. In my Jay-Z voice, "On to the next!"

The only question that needs to be answered is how much is the NBA willing to pay you right now? If that number is more than free then you need to bounce. You can always go back to school playa! School has been open for more than 2,000 years and in my Puffy voice, “It ain’t go-in no-where!” If you want a degree you can always pay for your own because you’ve got the bread to pay for it now.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

This Is For My Homie

"Don't even trip! We got this bruh!"

William Ellery Channing, the early 19th century Unitarian preacher, once said, “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” Ronald Reagan gave it to us like this, “There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.” Pat Riley had boyz in aw after saying, “Each Warrior wants to leave the mark of his will, his signature, on important acts he touches. This is not the voice of ego but of the human spirit, rising up and declaring that it has something to contribute to the solution of the hardest problems, no matter how vexing!

When Louisville’s Kevin Ware went down with his right leg shattered near the Cardinal bench his teammates were devastated. The reaction to the sight of his lower leg split in half was more than boyz could handle. Even Rick Pitino was brought to tears!

However, with all of the madness of his leg being broken with the bone exposed nearly 6 inches as he lay in the Lucas Oil Stadium floor,  ole boy had one thing to say to his teammates, “Just win the game!” Talk about the power of the human spirit bruh! It’s amazing that he had the wherewithal to be composed enough to remember what he and his Cardinal teammates were even there for.

By saying those four words, “Just win the game!”, there was nothing that Mike Kryzyzewski and his Duke Blue Devils could do to keep the onslaught from coming their way. Ignited by those words Louisville beat the brakes off of them 85-63.

All of the coaching in the world couldn’t have stopped the Cards from having their way. Proverbs 30:18-19 says, "There are three things that amaze me, four that I don't understand: The way of an eagle in the sky, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a virgin." If they could add this joint they would, "The way of Louisville on Duke!"

Sometimes you get caught in a situation that you can’t get out of. It’s like the cat that shows up to watch the running of the bulls in Pamplona. He’s leaning over the guard rail and one of his boyz pushes him into the street just as the bulls are approaching. There’s nothing he can do but attempt to run and get trampled in the process. That was Duke on Sunday bruh!

"Just get me back to the crib!"

Kevin Ware, who is from the Atlanta metro area, shatters his leg and the Final Four, which is in Atlanta, awaits the winner of the joint? Pitino could have sat out the rest of the game playa. Boyz could have won that joint blind folded. Do you hear me? It was like having your ride stall on the train tracks as the conductor dies of a heart attack and falls on the accelerator going downhill. All you can do is get out of the joint and call the insurance company because it’s a wrap.

My prayers go out to this kid and his family that he has a smooth recovery. I’ll also be praying for Wichita State too because they’ve got to play these boyz in the Final Four semifinals. The No.1 seed overall that was already playing the best basketball of the tournament just got even more motivation to drill some no name cats? It might get to the point where they may have to call CSI Atlanta out there to identify these duns from Wichita State.

All the Shockers can do at this point is enjoy the festivities of the week because they’re about to get their doors blown off on Saturday. Let Big Momma get her T-shirt and groove on as she brags about her baby in the beauty shop going to the Final Four.

It’ll be a great week for everybody. Then on Friday it’ll be like the Green Mile. Knowing you gotta make that walk but there’s nothing you can do to change the inevitable. Wichita State can use the underdog/Cinderella tag all they want, but it’s nothing like playing for a fallin’ homie at his crib.  The human spirit on a mission ain’t nothing to play with bruh! I can hear the Cards bumpin' that DRS, Gangsta Lean now cuz "this is for my homie!"

"Now that's what I'm talkin' bout playa!"

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
The quotes under the captions aren’t real.

The Messenger

"Man, where these dudes from?

Sigmund Freud, the founding father of psychoanalysis, once said, “Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.” Louise Nevelson, the famous American sculpturer, kept that joint real when she said, “What we call reality is an agreement that people have arrived at to make life more livable.” Big Momma would just say, "Don't worry about folks laughing at you! You ain't goin' to school to be fashionable, you goin' to learn!" As you walked out of the house lookin' like a complete fool!

The good folks in Indiana have done just that all season long. Boyz have been running around here fooling themselves into believing that the Hoosiers were the best team in America because the dull media told them that they were. Now reality is finally setting in after a 61-50 carjacking in D.C. by Syracuse on Thursday night.

The Cuse just kept it simple and played a 2-3 zone all night and beat them up inside. Indiana averages 13 turnovers a game and these duns had 12 in the first half trying to figure out that zone. They finished the game with 18! It was like the cat that wouldn’t follow the unwritten rule of not going to the bathroom in the middle of class only to get robbed by the gangsta’s who were skipping class and smoking weed in that joint.

Don't give the excuse that boyz weren't calling fouls or that they were just off last night! They could play Sryacuse in a best of 7 and still lose because IU was "scared of them boyz!"

They took their soft 3 point shooting butts to the projects in the middle of the ghetto and got destroyed last night bruh. All Syracuse did was take advantage of their lack of toughness and their inability to find their way out of the ghetto before the street lights came on and beat the brakes off of them.

 I’ve been telling boyz and you can check the blog for evidence, that the Hoosiers had mad talent but no heart. You can’t role off into the hood being soft bruh! Those duns from Syracuse ate Zeller for dinner in the paint and quickly reminded him that this ain’t little ole Washington, In. This is New York City, Philly, Chicago, G.I., Detroit, LA etc etc etc. If he's gonna play in the NBA he's gotta bring more to the table than his uniform playboy.

Talent with no heart is simply a beautiful picture hanging on a wall in a museum bruh. It's like dating a broad online or having a long distance relationship. It does absolutely nothing for you!

I’ve said and I quote, “If the 3 ball isn’t falling the Hoosiers will get run out of the gym because they have no heart.” Cody Zeller is as soft as drugstore cotton candy and he proved once again that he needs to go see the Great and Powerful Wizard.  He has all the athletic ability in the world but he’s not tough enough to take over when he needs to. For that reason he needs to go the the league now before his draft status plummets because he's not going to get any better staying another year.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Denny Green was sitting court side screaming, “They are who we thought they were!” rockin’ an orange tuxedo with a top hat and tails eating marsh mellows, chewing on candy canes sippin' on something listening to Lil Wayne.

Indiana is my alma mater but I tell boyz all of the time that you have to learn how to be an objective observer of sports to appreciate it for what it is. In order to win championships you have to have the heart it takes to possess it. IU just didn’t have it bruh so there was no reason for me to lie to myself or to other folks about them winning a stinkin’ title.

The same logic applies in basketball as in football; you have to stop a boy from scoring to win. Duns like Jordan Hulls and Christian Watford can shoot the lights out of the joint but they are absolute liabilities on defense. So when the 3 ball isn’t falling it’s 10 times worse. You’ve heard boyz say, “Don’t hate the playa hate the game.” We’ll I’ll say, “Don’t hate the messenger for keepin’ it real because these other duns out here have been lyin’ to you.”

 It’s like when all of the girls are about to go out and the big girl jumps in the ride with a joint on that she found in the petite department. When she asks how she looks everybody in the car says, “Girl you look good! As a matter of fact, you look GREAT!” Knowing they’re about to laugh at her all night. Well playboy, I don’t pull up with cats like that. I'm only hangin' with studs that keep it real!

And yes I picked Miami to win it all but their big man went down with a knee injury this week. IU showed up with the same duns that they started the season with so there shouldn't be any excuses playa! So in my Denny Green voice, "They are who I thought they were!"

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport

The Fella's Handbook

Andy Enfield FGCU head coach: "What do you want me to say bruh?"

The famous columnist, Harold Coffin, was smooth when he said, “Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessing instead of your own.” James Hubert Blake an early 20th century African-American composer said it this way, “Never trust anyone who wants what you’ve got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion.” Aristotle was thinking like a G when he said, “Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbor to have them through envy.”

While boyz are filling the emergency rooms with pulled hamstrings and twisted ankles this week from jumping on the Florida Gulf Coast bandwagon and understandably so. There is another group of duns that are filling up with jealousy and envy of their head coach, Andy Enfield.

During a week when his basketball team should be the one being celebrated for becoming the first 15th seed in the history of the NCAA Tournament to advance to the Sweet 16. Boyz in the media are climbing all over the fact that this cat has made a fortune in the business world after entering into a partnership that developed a business that is now worth more than $100 million before he sold his share of the joint. What's most appalling and egregious is the fact cats are trippin' because he married a 5’10” supermodel. Are you kidding me?

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Enfield didn’t make the rules playa, he’s just living by them. There’s no law that says that a coach can’t be wealthy and having a bad chick is just a by-product of being rich. It's his RIGHT TO BARE THAT ARM! Big Momma told me when I was a shorty, “All women love money and power!” That doesn’t mean that all women need or even want your money because they’re out here gettin’ it too. However, it does say that you can’t get one without having some bread.

Now are there women out here taking care of duns laying on the couch? Sure there is! However, chicks with bad self-esteem ain’t bad chicks. You’ll catch that one later on today homie.

From the time boyz and girlz reached puberty the most popular cats in school got the baddest chicks because they were the most powerful. Nobody had money at that time so power trumped everything. The football or basketball star regardless of his looks always had the dime. Then once cats started gettin’ paid the game elevated but the rules didn’t change. Money and Power has always been the foundation of the game.

So why are folks surprised that Enfield has a supermodel on his arm.  You weren’t surprised when Jay-Z showed up with Beyonce’ where you? He’s the richest cat at $450 million with some urban flair that she could be with. The only other cat that could even communicate with her is Diddy at $550 million.  Why? Because the baddest chicks are always looking for a better deal!

 There is no better deal with urban swagger than Jay-Z. So all bets are off that some dun will take his woman. If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'! Beyonce’ already told you point blank in the joint “Irreplaceable!” She broke the game down like is, “You must don’t know bout me, you must don’t know bout, I can have another you by tomorrow, so don’t ever for a second get to thinkin’, You’re irreplaceable!” Artists always write or agree to sing joint that their they're feeling. Don't ever get that twisted.

Oh yeah, I’m spittin’ but some young cat ain’t listening. He’s gonna run out and pull a cosmetic 10, show up to at the wrong party and leave by himself.  The absolute cosmetic 10’s are reserved for the rich playboy. Don’t jump out there and get your feelings hurt because you didn’t read.

Don’t hate on ole Andy for handling his business and reading the Fellas Handbook from cover to cover. I would have been more surprised if they would have shown a chick that looked like Alice the Goon sitting behind the bench with an FGCU shirt on. Then he would have had to sit before the council of the Water Buffalo Club and answer some strong questions before Friday’s game against Florida. Now you're talking about being distracted. The focus should be on Dunk City this week not Enfield’s personal life!

On some real talk bruh, I'm never impressed with a rich cat having a dime because he's supposed have one. If you wanna impress me do what I did and be a regular cat and show up with the whole package. Marry one with both brains and beauty! Then I'll shake your hand playa.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Street Fightin'

In my Puffy voice, "Take that! Take That!"

The famous author Bern Williams once said, “Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.” My man Charles Darwin got deep on us when he said, “False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science, for they often endure long; but false views, if supported by some evidence, do little harm, for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.” In street terms playboy, “Talking bad about a boy or his inability to succeed can many times be his motivation to prove you wrong.”

Well, the Hoosiers took great pleasure in proving boyz wrong about them not having any heart! I’ve been saying for weeks that Indiana will die if the 3 ball isn't falling because they've got little to no heart to fight for it! If that joint is falling, they will be unstoppable in route to a sixth national championship. Well homeboy, without it falling they finally got mad enough to stop some cats from breaking into their gym lockers! Indiana became the fourth Big Ten team to advance to the Sweet 16 living up to the hype of the country’s best conference but it wasn’t easy. The Temple Owls gave them all they had before imploding during the final 2:56 to play to lose 58-52. They were up by 4 at that point then IU went on a 10-0 run to close the joint out.

I kept telling you cats that IU has all the talent in the world but if the 3 ball isn’t falling they’re in trouble in this tournament. At the half they were shooting 12% or 1-8 from downtown. They finished 4-13 for 30% to squeak by the 9th seed.  I’ve gotta give the Hoosiers props for actually fighting down the stretch because it looked like Khalif Wyatt alone was going to send them to the crib early.

This dun had 20 of Temple’s 29 points at the half but was held to only 11 in the second half and nothing when it counted playa. I guess the Hoosiers heard me talking bad about them not having any fight and made sure that I saw them body slam these cats in the alley and take their Jordan's. Khalif and Co. had the candy stripes on the ropes but couldn’t close the deal.

I feel sorry for everybody else now because this was that game that the tournament NEEDED for the Hoosiers to have to get knocked off. They weren’t going to shoot great for 6 straight games and the Temple Owls let it slip away. They still had them leaned up against the ride at gun point with boyz coming out of their jewelry and cell phones when all of a sudden with 14 seconds left Oladipo pulled out the big gun, closed his eyes and unloaded. Lil' Flip, "Game Over!"

That’s what everybody has been waiting to see. Did Indiana have the fight that it takes to win a national championship? Well, I guess they’ve answered that question and I’ll pull a Snoop Dogg from now on and back up off of them and sit my cup down. The key is to bottle that same fight and take it to Washington this weekend and hopefully to Atlanta for the Final Four the following weekend.

They’ve got to understand that they are a target from this point forward and boyz will be looking to hem them up first chance they get. It's like being the star athlete in the hood with the baddest chick. You can be loved if you treat duns right or hated if you're talking crazy to cats! However, you can't move to the wrong hood and keep going to the rival school because you're the enemy regardless. That's IU right now because they've wandered into enemy territory with the baddest chick in school!

So later for being soft, especially Zeller and Watford, it’s time to come out of your shirt and fight like somebody’s bothering your little sister on the school bus. Why? Because the fellas and I want to go the "A" to get it in. Oh yeah, winning a sixth national championship would be extremely cool too!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Survival of the Fittest

"Y'all just don't know bruh!"

Willie Mays once said, “In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work hard and be willing to accept constructive criticism. Without one-hundred percent dedication, you won’t be able to do this.” The German writer, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, put this on our heads, “Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.” Ed Bradley wasn’t playing around when he said, "Be prepared, work hard, and hope for a little luck. Recognize that the harder you work and the better prepared you are, the more luck you might have.”

Well according to ole Ed the Big Ten’s Michigan and Michigan State had all of the luck on Saturday because they were the most prepared. In order to win in this tournament you’ve got to be good enough to show up and disciplined enough not to pay attention to the hype surrounding the joint.

Michigan State was business as usual with Tom Izzo allowing his team to play loose. They beat the brakes off of Memphis like they had broken into Big Momma’ s house and stolen her red patent leather purse with her shorty pistol in it 70-48. Big Ten Freshman of the Year, Gary Harris, had a break out game scoring 16 of his career high 23 points in the first half. It was a massacre the way the Spartans just picked them apart. Memphis had the 2nd most wins in the country at 31 going into the tournament playing in dull Conference USA behind only Gonzaga from the terrible West Coast Conference.  They finally played somebody and got their doors blown off.

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I told you boyz that Gonzaga was suspect when they put the freaking bracket together and gave them the No. 1 seed! They were only ranked No. 1 at the end of the regular season by default because all of the other top ranked teams were playing hot potato with the No. 1 ranking. So they just gave it to them because they would be able hold on to it until the season was over.  These duns were sent to the crib by the 9th seed Wichita State 76-70. Now I don’t have to listen to cats screamin’ about the dull Zags. I told you that they were Boise State football from the jump but you wouldn’t listen.

Michigan went to work on VCU bruh and I sure didn't expect that! I thought that ole Shaka Smart would upset the Wolverines because of the traditional selfish play of Trey Burke. That was simply not the case on Saturday. They must have backed that cat up into a closet and threatened him because he played team ball and they sprinted through the Rams 78-53.

They must have told ole boy that if he didn’t pass the rock and play like he had 4 other duns on the floor that he wouldn’t make it to the NBA. They told him that Vito would make sure that his knee would look like Nancy Kerrigan's if they had lost because of his selfish play. So Mitch McGary put up 21 and grabbed 14 boards, Burke threw 18 in the kitty and both Hardaway Jr. and Robinson III brought 14 to the house party for them to advance to the Sweet 16 for the first time since 1994.

By the way, both Gary Harris and Glenn Robinson III are tied to the G because their dads are from the crib and  MSU's Branden Dawson grew up in the G! Stop Playin’! We’re repin’ even when we aren’t trying to playboy! Both big G’s and Dawson's parents, I see you with your chests stuck out! Holla At Ya Boy! G.I. hold it down! Big Shout to Bowman Academy for winning yet another state championship on Saturday too! In my Puffy voice, "We ain't go-in nowhere!"

On yesterday I said that ole dull Ben Howland from UCLA owed me some bread for losing to Minnesota and tearing up my bracket early. Now granted, I didn’t have them going far but those were points I was counting on! You know the drill playa! So now it looks like he’ll be fired after 10 years with the Bruins. This is no different from the streets bruh! Just because you lost the product doesn’t mean that you’re not responsible for the bread that it represents! Fired or not, I still want my paper, pimpin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Caught Sleepin'

"I knew we should've put those video game up last night bruh!"

The English philosopher, Francis Bacon once said, “Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted…but to weigh and consider.” Dr. Joyce Brothers broke it down like this, “Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you’ve become a comfortable, trusted element in another person’s life.”

Well Georgetown, Wisconsin, Kansas State, UCLA and ole dull Notre Dame didn’t weigh or consider before they trusted boyz before they got robbed in the girls bathroom with a butter knife day one of their NCAA Tourney run!

Let’s start with ole dull No. 2 seed Georgetown showing up to play the 15th seed Florida Gulf Coast and not taking them seriously. Outside of the state of Florida, nobody had even heard of Florida Gulf Coast playa. The Hoyas thought that they could just role their sneakers out on the floor and come out of there with a “W” instead they got picked off coming out of Trix Shoe Shine on 25th Ave. 78-68. They saw the name Gulf Coast and didn’t even look at the scouting report. Boyz played video games the entire night before and the coaches kicked it with their wives figuring that it was all good in the hood. By the time they looked up these no name cats had taken the flat screen, all of the silverware, the jewelry and the family whip with Big Momma's bible in it. You know boyz are in trouble when they get back to DC without that bible!

Wisconsin, with the 5th seed, did the same thing and messed everybody’s bracket up getting beat 57-46. When I run into Bo Ryan he owes me money for that one son! Ole Miss bruh? This ain’t football season and they’re terrible in football too. What’s the deal? I had them at least getting to the next round and knocking off overrated Gonzaga. Now I guess Ohio State has to get rid of them. It’s all the same. I’ve got the Buckeyes going to Atlanta anyway.

The 4th seed, Kansas State, let LaSalle who was the 13th seed lure them into a freaking dark alley and just took advantage of them 63-61. You know how a boy sees the chick at the club that’s quiet and shy but it’s a turn on. The next thing he knows he’s in the parking lot hollering at her and she talks him into going over to her sister’s house. He’s gassed up because it just seemed way too easy. Then just before he pulls up some cat cuts him off in the middle of the street and 3 duns jump out holding and takes his ride, all of his clothes and makes him walk back to the club butt naked so that his boyz will ride him until the day that he dies for that one. That was Kansas State last night bruh!

UCLA, the 6th seed, should be arrested for impersonating a basketball team for going out there and letting Minnesota, of all people, beat the brakes off of them. Shameful homeboy! All of the history and tradition couldn’t keep Tubby and his boyz from jawing the Bruins. How do you let a boy named Tubby take your wallet and pimp slap you in front of your girl bruh? I know that ole Tubby’s been around the block and even won a national title at Kentucky. However, his name IS Tubby and he’s coaching at Minnesota playboy. Tubby doesn’t sound too intimidating followed by Golden Gophers! Give me a break. Ole Ben Howland better come out of my bread when I see him too.

What else do you want me to say about Notre Dame bruh? I guess they didn’t want to look anything like their ridiculous football team and get anywhere near the national championship so they jumped off of the ship before it pulled out of the port. They figured if they jump off now nobody would know the difference. I guess that makes sense, especially the way they got embarrassed by Alabama in the BCS National Championship Game. Boyz are allergic to anything that says championship at Notre Dame for at least the next 10 years.

To sum things up, all of these cats got caught sleein’! It’s win or go home bruh! This ain’t the NBA playoffs where the best team ALWAYS wins the championship because you’ve got to play the best of 7 for darn near a month and a half to win the joint. Naw playboy, you gotta win TODAY or you’ll get a bus pass with no transfer with a Cleveland bus driver wearing some thick white socks that says, "You goin' ta jail now!" all the way to the crib!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Wet Loose

"Hey dude, where y'all get them uniforms?

Thomas Edison once said, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Ralph Waldo Emerson kept it simple by saying, “Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.” The famous sales guru, Zig Ziglar, broke the joint down like this, “You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure.” 

The Southern University Jaguars showed up in Salt Lake City to play the No. 1 seeded Gonzaga Bulldogs looking like “Honey I shrunk the kids!” Everybody at that freaking school should be reprimanded for sending those kids out there looking crazy. They had the No. 1 seed on the ropes bruh and nearly pulled the upset losing 64-58 but the uniforms got in the way!

It was like ole boy in the commercial with the stain on his shirt! He's prepared for the interview but every time he started talking the stain blurted out and interrupted him! That was Southern yesterday bruh! Every time boyz would get into a groove the uniforms would blurt out and say, "Hey look at me bruh! These joints don't fit!" 

There is a reason why all successful people will tell you that you’ve got to dress for success. I’ve been saying it since I was 13 years old. “If you look good , you play good!” Deion Sanders took it even further by saying, “If you look good, you play good! If you play good, you get paid good!” And no I didn’t bite off of Prime because we’re the same age! Great minds just think alike playboy! 

Well Southern played great but they looked like Big Momma knitted them joints and pushed them out of the door. You know how she wouldn’t let you leave the house without an inspection? Then she would put a whole hand full of Vaseline on your knees and face? That was Southern yesterday playa, except that ole girl was sound asleep when they left the crib. 

They probably could have pulled the upset if boyz weren’t thinking about those darn uniforms being too big. I saw a boy put a cuff in his shorts running down the court in transition. The little point guard had a safety pin holding his joints up! One dun had his jersey tucked so deep that he had to put his jock over it. You couldn't even see his number. When he got called for a foul, he got a delay of game penalty because it took him so long to get that joint out of his shorts! 

If they had just been able to play basketball yesterday, they would have pulled the upset bruh! Who do we blame for that? The freaking administration for being cheap and shopping off the rack at Leroy's Big & Tall Emporium on Crenshaw! They looked like the Bad News Bears of basketball! One of my boyz said they looked like those joints were made of Cotton! Boyz were dehydrating out there because the material wouldn't breath! I saw a cat on an IV during a 20 second timeout! I guess the duns in Baton Rouge thought that Dry Fit was out of style so they tried to turn boyz on to Wet Loose. 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! They were the most conditioned and powerful team in the tournament if they’ve been wearing those joints all season because of the wind resistance alone.  Let this be a lesson to everybody! In order to find success, you’ve got to first dress for it. There was no way they were gonna win on that stage looking like a rec league team.

 On some real talk, that just reconfirms what I said about dull Gonzaga yesterday. They got the 1 seed by default. They aren’t the real deal and if you didn’t see it yesterday you’re delusional! They almost became the first 1 seed to lose to a 16 seed in the HISTORY of the tournament to some duns playing in some old ABA gear. Southern may as well been rocking some purple Chuck Taylor’s with some knee highs and elbow pads. I swore I saw Dr. J run out of the tunnel but his shorts were too tight so they wouldn't let him play. That’s how crazy they looked! I was waiting for Jesus Shuttlesworth to come off of the bench down the stretch but I guess they couldn't talk him into putting on that foolishness! SMH!!!!!

Holla At Ya Boy! 
Jay Graves 
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Socks & Shoes

"Y'all know what time it is playa! Let's get it in!"

Ben Franklin once said, “Diligence is the mother of good luck.” Ernest Hemingway broke it down like this, “For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can.” Jack Youngblood shut the building down with this one bruh, “Good luck is a residue of preparation.”

Well homeboy, who’s gonna have a residue of preparation starting today! It’s official, the NCAA Tournament kicks off this afternoon and boyz have to be both prepared and lucky to win it all. I can hear some clowns in the background screamin’ from schools like LaSalle, James Madison and North Carolina A&T that won on the 19^th and 20^th saying, “Naw playboy, the tournament started when we started play earlier this week.” Naw playboy, that was the rudy poot round! Now you gotta face the No.1 seeds and start earnin' your strips pimpin’! That joint earlier this week was the NIT Championship makeover!

Now James Madison has to face those 3’s coming from Indiana just to eat dinner! Then tell me that the tournament started earlier in the week playa. Enough of the preliminaries, let’s talk turkey.

Starting in the South Region, I’ve got VCU on everything! Boyz keep hollering Michigan but Trey Burke is merely Carmelo Anthony bruh! He’s the ball stopper jackin' up shots all night and never getting the other cats involved. They’ve got way too much talent to have Trey ruining this team. It’s time for him to bounce to the NBA and be Melo's twin brother. At least Melo won a title at Syracuse! Being a black hole didn't hurt him in college because he had to shoot that joint because he was the only true scorer on that squad! However, Burke's got plenty of studs around him that are hungry for the rock that can score but they're frustrated because this dun keeps shooting from the parking lot! 

In the Midwest I’ve got Duke coming out of that joint because they’ve got the best coach in the tournament. Also R. Kelly is back "Bumpin’ N Grindin’", "Flirtin'", bangin the rock "Down Low" and tellin' boyz "I Wish" you would bring that in the paint! That will give them that extra bounce they need to get to Atlanta. Louisville is the No. 1 overall seed but St. Louis will slow their role because that’s probably the most dangerous team in the tournament but because they’re in the same region with Duke where coaching and experience has to go to the Blue Devils.

Out West I’m going with Ohio State instead of the No. 1 seed Gonzaga because the Zags got the 1 seed by default! They just happened to be sitting on top when the smoke cleared because boyz kept getting knocked off. They had to give them that seeding because they were ranked #1 down the stretch but their schedule strength was a garbage 97^th bruh! They haven’t played anybody. They’re freaking Boise State football and they’ll get muscled and manhandled by dull Wisconsin who will get beaten again by the Buckeyes!

In the East I’m rolling with the “U!” The Hurricanes are the best team in the tournament bruh! They blew through the ACC like toilet paper beating the brakes off of Duke at the crib by darn near 30 points and lost to them by only 4 on the road. Larranaga’s got these boyz rollin'! I can hear the delusional Indiana fans screamin’, “How dare you pick Miami over your alma mater? That’s blasphemous!” Naw playa that’s called being an objective observer! The only way IU can win this Ship is for the 3 ball to fall for 6 straight games and that ain’t gonna happen. Without the 3 falling their suspect and don't put it in Crean's hands in a tight one because he'll completely fumble that joint away coming out of a dull timeout.

 Cody Zeller is probably one of the most talented 7 footers to come along in years but he needs to go see the wizard! He has no heart at all. Watford is a 6’9” shooter but won’t fight in the paint for a single bucket. So if his jumper is still at the hotel he’s worthless to you just like Jordan Hulls who is a straight liability on defense. The only two cats that are willing to fight for their sneakers is Oladipo and Yogy. The rest of those duns will give you everything they have just not to get beat up in the alley. Although I'd love to see my Hoosiers cut the nets down. They just don't have the heart to pick up the scissors! I'm just keepin' it real bruh!

So once boyz get to Atlanta I’ve got Duke and Miami playing for all of the marbles! Now if I were Larranaga, I’d turn on some Drake, put my socks and shoes on only, sit there butt naked and tell them that I need to see the athletic director ASAP! When he comes in I’d say, “If you want me to put the rest of my clothes on and go out there tonight it’s gonna cost you another couple million! I've taken your program from to the bottom to the top now we here! What you gone with that? Holla At Ya Boy!"

The “U” cuts the nets down with Larranaga fully dressed! I would say good luck to you boyz on your brackets but I wouldn’t mean it!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Frontin'

"They let you go too huh? I tried to tell you bruh!"

In 1990 MC Breed & DFC released the hot joint "Ain't No Future In Yo' Frontin'" off of their debut album that would later be released nationally in 1991. Breed is known as the first commercially successful rapper to come out of the Midwest (Flint, Mi.). So I've always had love for that dun. No, it wasn’t Bone Thugs- n-Harmony from Cleveland bruh! It was my man Breed! Way back then he was telling boyz not to get fired for being stupid  tomorrow and Friday.

I know many of you have gotten up with the intent to blow off work tomorrow because of the start of the NCAA Tournament. These next two days, in my opinion, are the most exciting in sports. The games tip off at noon and go on until midnight. It's a sports fans dream. The only problem is that boyz will be stupid enough to call in sick/skip and front like they're working these next two days. C'mon bruh!

I know cats that will just straight up play hooky and post up in a sports bar all day when they should be in the field. Oh yeah, they’ll be serious about faking it too. Then you've got the idiot that goes to work and tries to look at the games on his computer after the company has sent out the policy last week stating that you would be in violation if you did. But you know some rebel has figured out a way to do it anyway.

Hey bruh, let me break it down to you like this! The economy is way too bad for you to go home this weekend and tell your wife that you got fired for trying to watch the game! "What?" Yeah bruh, that's her screaming at the top of her lungs going at you hard! It's just not worth you showing up at MY house looking for a place to crash 'til you get on your feet because MY wife's gonna answer the door!

As big a sports fan as I am, I simply won't take the chance. I'm way too responsible to let a simple basketball game get in the way of gettin' this money. So I'll just take the next two afternoons off by using vacation time! I'm not gonna lie and say I was working when YOU KNOW I wasn't! Everybody that knows me knows that I’ll be posted up at the crib with my feet kicked up eating and having a good time soaking it all in.

 Hey bruh, I don't need any help watching the games, eating and drinking my Diet Coke! So don't come through and get me caught up in your foolishness. Because I know you told YOUR wife that you were at work or told YOUR boss that you were being productive. Either way, I'm not testifying on behalf of YOUR foolishness! My name is Bennett and I ain't in it! Holla At Ya Boy!

How can you enjoy the games having to look over your shoulder all afternoon? I want to be comfortable in my big chairs and if I decide to shoot over to the sports bar I can. Everything is legit and I'm not hiding from my boss or most importantly, MY WIFE! MC Breed broke that joint down over 20 years ago and boyz still haven't figured it out. Hey when they start letting people go this week the HR department will be giving out that single in exit interviews to bump all the way to the crib! “To the beat ch’all!...” That was the joint!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Follow me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Top 10 Hood Bracket Rules!

"It's on an poppin' now bruh!"

March Madness is officially here. The greatest two weeks in sports next to College Football season in my opinion. Regardless of whether you agree with me or not, it's a good time. Before we get started this evening I just want to lay out some ground rules for filling out your freaking brackets playboy!

1. You can only fill out one bracket! I hate when people show up to work with 10 joints filled out and try to win the office pool. "If it's shady and you now it clap ya hands." Clap! Clap! When the tournament is over this person gallivants around like they really knew something about college basketball. Sorry excuse for a sports fan!!!

2. Don't fill out your kid's bracket! If he or she can't talk or walk they can't participate. If they're still grunting and stinking then they can't have a freaking bracket! That's final. I get tired of losing to some kid that's 8 months old with snot hanging out of their nose.

3. Don't pick the stupid teams based on the uniforms! If you haven't watched the games to this point just say that you don't know and bow out gracefully.

4. Don't try to change your bracket once all of your Final Four teams lose! I get tired of duns that pick boyz to make it to the Final Four and then by next Friday they've got somebody else on their bracket because all of they're joints are sitting at the crib.

5. Don't show up to the sports bar on Thursday talking trash or wearing your team logo if your school isn't in the tournament. You're on punishment for crying out loud!! If your school sucks then you have to stay at the crib! Also no brew and wings for you or your boyz and that's final!

6. Don't install that stupid software with the fake graphs on it to try to fool your boss when he walks past your computer. He knows that you're watching the games because he's watching the freaking games in his office. Just keep it real, order pizza and go to the conference room and watch it together. Now that's a G move right there bruh!

7. Don't get on Facebook or Twitter lying about being at the games. Who cares? It's better to watch it at the crib or at the sports bar you idiot! There's always some clown trying to big time like nobody else can just walk up and buy a ticket to a half sold arena because half the teams had to fly across the country to play in the tournament and their fans only had 48 hours to book a flight. Wheredeydodatat? Or on some real talk, who can afford to do that? Facebook a boy when you've got court side seats in Atlanta for the Final Four if you wanna impress me pimpin'!

8. If you win the bracket challenge and get the traveling trophy don't try to keep the stupid thing or try to pawn it down at Big Momma's Pawn & Chicken Shack! You can't do anything with a trophy in the streets but get beat up or drink out of it and Ned the Whinno just drinks straight out of the bottle! That's why they call it a traveling trophy playboy! It's travels!!! Return it next year and I mean it!!

9. Don't call in sick Thursday and Friday because you'll look like a complete fool! Trust me. Those duns are still unemployed from getting fired last year for sitting in the the sports bar gettin' it in simply because they didn't invite their bosses to join them. Just be honest bruh because he would have rolled with you and you'd still have a job! Use a vacation day and you won't have to hide out all day! Trust me!

10. Finally, don't spend the next 24 hours asking folks "who's your Final Foul teams" so you can pick yours. This is an independent project tonight. No cheating!

You've officially been warned by the ghetto bracket police! You know how we get it in so let's get it in!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Follow me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport