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| "Man y'all trippin' bruh! I need my bread! |
Well playas… Dez Bryant has the power to sit out of trainin' camp and miss regular season games but the question is, do you believe he will? This dun tweeted Monday that he won't report to trainin' camp unless a long term deal is reached. Ole boy says that he's not only willin' to miss camp but regular season games too. Here's the deal bruh, he wants a long term deal that's close to or better than what Megatron got in 2012. His deal was for more than $100 million with $48 and 1/2 million guaranteed over a 10 year period. Now the Cowboys have already offered Dez a 10 year deal worth $110 million with only $20 million guaranteed and they ain't movin'.
Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If I'm the Cowboys I wouldn't pay that dun crazy guaranteed bread either. Jerry Jones is the smartest businessman in the NFL bruh. He's not about to put $40 or $50 million in the hands of a complete fool with no recourse of gettin' it back.
Dez Bryant has been actin' a fool since he walked into the league without a huge contract. Let me put it where the goats can get it playa. Money doesn't change you. It just brings out what's already in you. In others words, if you were a fool without bread you're gonna be an even bigger fool with it. So if the Cowboys give this dun $50 million guaranteed and it exacerbates his behavior and he pulls a Greg Hardy or Adrian Peterson guess who's stuck payin' this fool. Remember both Hardy and Peterson were suspended but put on the Commissioner's Exempt list last season and they still got paid. Jerry may look like a fool but he ain't even close to bein' one pimpin'!
Here's my diehard Cowboys fan upset because he thinks Jerry is screwin' Dez Bryant. "Pay the man! He's the best receiver in the business bruh! You can't deny his production since 2012!" You're right playa! He has been the most productive cat in the game at his position. When compared to Calvin Johnson he's got 273 receptions to Megatron's 277. However, he's got 41 TD receptions to his 25 and his reception percentage is 62.5 compared to calvin's 57.5. So from a production standpoint he should be paid. However, when you're a loose canon nobody in there right mind is gonna give you that type of bread.
Oh I'm talkin' crazy about him bein' a fool? Let's look at his brief history and I won't even give you everything this dun has been involved in. Back in February some media-type hater named Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk happened to mention in a room full of reporters at the combine that there was rumored to be a video of Dez doin’ somethin’ that he shouldn’t have done from 2011. You already know that boyz leaked that information to help justify not payin' this cat.
Supposedly, Dez’s girlfriend got drug out of a Benz registered to him in a Walmart parkin’ lot. The Wal-mart "Old Otis" says that the ride was left with the driver side door open and a kid’s toy on the ground. Then two cats pulled up in an Escalade registered to Dez as well. Just as the police get there a Bentley pulls up with the dun that was supposedly drug out of the ride and Dez himself.
Now old girl tells the police that it wasn’t Dez but some other cat. The dull policeman believes all of this foolishness and lets everybody go. Now the "video" has yet to surface but it was enough to keep boyz from havin' to pay him.
Let's break down the foolishness of this event shall we. If Dez’s girlfriend is gettin’ drug out of “HIS” car anywhere bruh, she was gettin’ drug by him. I don’t know where y’all are from but Hood 101 says, “The kept can only be abused by the dun doin’ the keepin’!” Money is power playboy and NOBODY is puttin' hands on the most powerful cat in the room's girl. Secondly, if two boyz pull up pushin’ a whip owned by the keeper then the keeper or the kept called them to pick up the ride. If the keeper and the kept pull up to the incident shortly thereafter, they were only makin’ sure that the two flunkies that they called were followin’ directions.
Now also keep in mind that this is the same cat that beat up his own momma! Do I need to say anything else? Really? OK, I will!!! This is the same cat that the Cowboys had to assign a dun to him to make sure that he stayed out of trouble a couple of years ago. Don’t act like you don’t remember this foolishness. So my point here is this, now that it’s time to get paid there are two parties tryin’ to get what they want. Dez wants as much bread as he can get and the Cowboys want to pay him the least that they have to. It’s the American way playboy.
Now Dez, Stephen A. and the rest of these clowns biddin’ for him to get paid are askin’ the ultimate Smokey question, “Why you keep bringin’ up old ish?” And I’m gonna give you the ultimate Big Momma response, “If you weren’t actin’ a fool in the first place they wouldn’t have anything to bring up!”
Get off of the conspiracy theory that the Cowboys leaked information to keep from payin’ that dun. It’s not a theory playboy it’s a fact! And whose fault is it that the freakin’ information is out there? Do you think for one minute that Barack Obama would have gotten into the White House if he was beatin’ up his momma and draggin’ broads across the parkin’ lot? Because you already know that they were diggin’ for any and everything that dun has ever done durin’ both of the elections.
Now all of a sudden boyz want to defend Dez Bryant on gettin’ his money. Y’all should have been tellin’ him to pipe down when he was actin’ a fool because the bread conversation was bound to come up. Now he wants Megatron-type money? However, Megatron isn’t out here beatin’ up his momma and draggin’ broads through the parkin’ lot at Wal-mart.
Put yourself in the Cowboys seat as a business and ask yourself if you were the GM or owner would you pay him? At the end of the day it’s a business not just a game and I wouldn’t pay an employee boat loads of guaranteed money that has the propensity to do something crazy.
Let me break it down for all of my street level cats. If you’re pushin’ weight out here and you run into a young cat that is more talented than all of the boyz you’ve got workin’ for you. But he has a tendency to get in trouble more than everybody else that’s grindin’ for you. Would you let him hold a kilo? Because you know for a fact that he can move it. But if he gets popped, your kilo is gone too. So what do you do? Give it to him in pieces just like the Cowboys intend on doin' with ole Dez. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
2) Rag Top: noun: cloth roof of a car, more prevalent in the 1970’s and ‘80’s
3) Deuce and a Quarter: noun – Buick Electra 225 typically models dating from 1959 to 1976
4) Big Body Chevy: noun – old school Chevy Caprice from 1978 to 1985
5) Ole Boy: noun – person that we’re talkin’ about
6) Old Otis: noun – old timer workin’ as a security guard complete with his pants pulled up to his nipples and a fluddin’ carryin’ a flashlight.
7) Smokey: noun – ole boy Chris Tucker in the movie Friday with Ice Cube
8) Ride: noun – car
9) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy etc.
10) Ole Girl: noun – the woman in question, chick etc.
11) Dull: adjective – pitiful, you say this when you have to shake your head to say their name or when you’re talkin’ about them
12) Bread: noun – money, scrilla, scratch, etc.
13) Pushin’ a whip: verb – drivin’ a car
14) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
15) Megatron: noun – Calvin Johnson, wide receiver for the Detroit Lions
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!
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