Power Move (Why De'Andre Jordan NEVER intended to go to Dallas in the 1st place)

"Lalalalalalalalalalalalala! I can't hear you bruh!"

Since everybody was in Houston over the past couple of days I figured that I’d get down there and hit Frenchy’s up for some of that fire chicken. As I was comin’ out of the joint I ran into these three cats debatin’ the art of betrayal. Sigmund Freud was sittin’ on the ride when he said, “He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” Arthur Miller, the famous playwright, was chillin’ in the back seat eatin’ Skittles and Lemonheads with ole Roy Hibbert when he broke it down like this, “Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.” Then Tennessee Williams, the playwright as well, pulled up with the system bumpin’ and shouted, “We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.”

Well playas…boyz are actin’ like De’Andre Jordan stole their freakin’ bicycles and bent the rims on that joint because he decided to stay in LA. Cats are trippin’ like he betrayed them and took their women or somethin’. Chandler Parsons had the nerve to say that he was “shocked, frustrated and felt disrespected by ole boy changin’ his mind. Then I hear all of these media-types talkin’ about his word and how he’s obligated to go to Dallas because he told them that he would. What??!!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! By rule, NBA free agency opened on July 1^st at freakin’ midnight and boyz can agree to terms but can’t sign deals until July 9^th! So if that dun hadn’t signed a contract he can do whatever he wants to do and if that means callin’ his boyz to come through to talk him into stayin’, that’s legal too pimpin’.

Nobody had a problem with the New York Giants pullin’ the long term deal worth $60 million that they put together for Jason “Mr. Long Nasty Finger” Pierre-Paul off of the table. Why? Because he hadn’t signed it yet! Nobody tripped when they started talkin’ about pullin’ the one year deal worth $14.8 million that would franchise him for the 2015 season off of the table. Why? Because he hadn’t signed it yet! Why? Because they put it together for a dun with 5 fingers instead of 4!

So why in the world are boyz mad at DJ for changin’ his mind before he signed the freakin’ contract? It’s the same freakin’ principle playboy. The deal ain’t done until a boy signs on the dotted line.

And Chandler Parsons is actin’ like he promised to take him out on the date or something! DJ didn’t take his bread or his woman so why does he care? Whether ole boy played in LA or Dallas Chandler Parsons was gonna get paid either way. So stop actin’ like the jilted lover bruh and keep it movin’! It’s business!

Ole boy woke up in cold sweat thinkin’ about 75 degrees and sunny all season. He got up thinkin’ about the scenery in LA as opposed to Dallas. And I’m not talkin’ about the landscape either playa. He jumped up in a cold sweat thinkin’ about not havin’ a point guard that could get him the rock at will. That dun’s got better sense than Chandler Parsons or Mark Cuban thought he had.

As of matter of fact, Mark Cuban flew into Houston and couldn’t even find that dun’s house. We call that a “Power Move” where I’m from playa. Tell a broad to come through and then don’t give her the address. Let her figure it out or not. If she knocks on the door, she’s resourceful but thirsty, get rid of her. If she rides around all night lookin’ for you she’s worthless, get rid of her. Why? Because a woman worth anything wouldn’t be ridin’ around lookin’ for a boy. She demands respect and the address before she leaves home. As a matter of fact, you’re goin’ to pick her up. That’s a keeper. Introduce her to Big Momma.

The fact that Cuban had to fly to Houston and look for him told him that he didn’t have a shot at signin’ that dun. He was never goin’ to Dallas in the first place playa. He just wanted the attention. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Frenchy’s: noun – chicken joint that off the hook in Houston.
2) Fire: adjective – good, very tasty, off the chain
3) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
4) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!