Momma Jokes (Why mothers NEED to start lookin' like mommas and not strippers at their kid's games)

Dude...I didn't come to the game to see this bruh!

Thomas S. Monson, the current President of the Church of Latter-Day Saints, once said, "Perhaps the surest test of an individual's integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect." Dale Turner, the famous song writer, stood up and shouted, "It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character." Then Abraham Joshua Herschel, one of the leading Jewish theologians of the 20th century, knocked everybody's popcorn over when he said, "Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself."
Well playas...some of these mommas out here need to just say no before they show up to their freakin' kid's games. These broads don't have an ounce of self-respect for themselves let alone their kids. One of my most read joints of all-time was a banger entitled, "Man Law" Why Grown Men Shouldn't Wear Jerseys Ever! It blasted grown men for dressin' like kids and lookin' like groupies in the process. I upset a lot of boyz with that joint but it was necessary! Now I've got to have a sit down with the ladies or should I just call them females because a lady would know better.

I'm tired of goin' to little league football, basketball and baseball games and even the high school joints only to see momma's underwear or more specifically their thongs. Every time I sit down some woman sits in front of me with a plumber’s crack that I don't find entertainin' at all. As a matter of fact, I find it to be outright disgustin' that a woman would show up at her son's game lookin' like a prostitute! That's real talk playboy.

Back in the day when somebody's momma came to see their kid play they were dressed like, well... somebody's momma. They were fully dressed and well respected in the hood. Now so many momma's are lookin' like they're on their way to work at the club and you know which one I‘m talkin' about. Club Booty Hole or something like that!

Let's keep it real or all the way 100 which ever comes 1st! All you're doin' is forcin' your kid to fight at school. In case you didn't know, not only are the duns in the stands talkin' about you but your son’s teammates are too! They're ridin' him hard at school if they're anything like we were as kids. Oh yeah, they're tellin' him how much they like watchin' his momma shake it or sayin' stuff like "tell yo momma to come through cause I got somethin' for her." So what does he do? Defend your honor or what little you’ve got left by squabbin' all day.

I heard a wise man tell his daughter once, "Whenever the meat is in the window it's usually for sale." That goes for mommas too. If you don't have any respect for yourself at least think about your son and what he has to goes through at school. Be a freak around adults only if you just can't help yourself baby girl.

Aren't you tired of gettin' calls from his school tellin' you that he's been in a fight again? Well it's all your fault. Could you imagine if back in the day Big Momma or Madea showin' up to the games with their bloomers half cocked in a boyz face? You would have been embarrassed because all of your friends played the dozens for a livin'.

I know I talked about peoples momma's in my sleep, without any ammunition. I would just make up stuff about your momma on GP. Where I'm from "momma jokes" was a right of passage playboy. Now mommas are comin' to games dressed like Nicki Minaj and Lil Kim? Not the Lil' Kim that looks like a wild cat now but the Lil' Kim in her Junior Mafia days! The Lil' Kim in the leopard skin bikini with the full shot Lil' Kim bruh! In my Ochocinco voice, "Child  Please!"

For the sake of your kid’s education please put on some clothes before goin' to his games when football season starts in a few weeks! Otherwise, he's gonna be watchin' Sports Center or Sponge Bob this fall through one eye because he can't beat up everybody pimpin'. Stop me when I start lyin'!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and it's non-gender specific.
2) Full shot: verb - when a woman takes a picture with her legs wide open. It's the Sharon Stone shot on a boy.
3) Pimpin': noun - the person that I'm passionately tryin' to get my point across to.

Holler At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo is REAL today playboy!