American Hustle (How Jerry Jones and Michael Sam just won the SuperBread Bowl in Dallas)

"I win again playboy!"

David Bailey, the English fashion and portrait photographer, once said, “To get rich, you have to be making money while you’re asleep.” John D. Rockefeller pulled out a long Cuban cigar, cut it and said, “I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.” Then Scott Alexander, the famous writer and producer, stood up and shouted, “Making money is a hobby that will complement any other hobbies you have, beautifully.”

He must have been readin’ ole Jerry Jones’ mind playboy because he’s gotten so good at makin’ money you would think that he’s printin’ it down in Dallas. The Cowboys are worth a ridiculous $3 billion and countin’! So it only makes sense that when the St. Louis Rams finally made a football decision to cut defensive end Michael Sam and all the bread that comes with him, Jerry swooped in like a bald eagle to make a money decision. It makes sense to me if all you're about is your bread. I would have done it without blinkin'.

Don’t get it twisted playa, the owner of the Rams didn’t want ole boy to go anywhere because he made them relevant over the past four and a half months. They sold out of season tickets and Michael Sam had the seventh best sellin’ jersey in the league and he wasn’t technically in the league. Wheredeydodatat?

I’m surprised that they let all of that bread walk too. However, the Rams made a football decision to move on. Why? Because they’ve got football people makin’ football decisions and the owner has allowed the duns he’s hired to do their jobs.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Jerry Jones is about that paper playboy and nobody is gonna tell him how to run his business. How do I know that? Because he’s the freakin’ owner, the general manager and the president of the team. Who does that? Makin’ money and only makin’ money is important to him because the team is worth $3 billion and they’ve only won one playoff game since 1996! Wheredeydodatat?

Jerry is not makin’ decisions with football in mind bruh. This is the same dun that wanted to draft Johnny Football this past spring but somehow boyz were able to talk him down off of the roof. The hostage negotiators were able to get the gun out of his hand without him blowin’ his head off. Now why on earth would the Cowboys need to waste a first round pick on a quarterback when they’ve got a freakin’ quarterback that they just paid $100 million? Because Jerry saw dollar signs with Johnny. Manziel is from Texas and they adore him down there. When Jerry does things please understand that he’s lookin’ for bread not wins and most importantly his ego is runnin’ amuck.

This is the same dun that charges $90 just to park and tailgate bruh! He’s hittin’ boyz off for more than $90 for standin’ room only seats at the game. For all of you simple minded individuals that means that he’s chargin’ boyz to stand up at the game. There are no seats in that section! He’s even hittin’ boyz off for $20 for a steak sandwich at AT&T Stadium formally Cowboys Stadium. How and why? Because the Cowboys fans are just as gullible as Chicago Cubs fans bruh. They’ll buy whatever he’s sellin’ and won’t blink even if the team sucks and that they do year end and year out. Why? Because the team is worth $3 billion and is consistently a .500 team. That’s beyond terrible.

Keep in mind that this is the same dun that sold Super Bowl tickets a few years ago and didn't have enough seats for the Green Bay fans to sit down! Remember that? Boyz traveled all the way from Wisconsin and couldn't sit down! In my Marshawn Lynch voice, "He's about that paper boss!"

Even when Jerry thinks that he’s makin’ football decisions he’s not makin’ any sense. Remember back in 2007 when he hired Wade Phillips as his head coach? He had already hired Jason Garrett as Wade’s offensive coordinator before Wade even took the freakin’ job. Who goes out and hires a head coach's coordinator before he even hires the coach? The head coach brings his own staff with him bruh. So was anybody surprised that Wade didn’t last long and that they underachieved? That’s that foolishness I’m talkin’ about.

I’ll guarantee that Jerry will find a way to sell the first practice squad jersey in the history of the league. Cats are goin’ to eat it up because the world wants to see Michael Sam succeed even if he’s not good enough to. And don’t get it twisted pimpin’, Jerry is gonna make sure that he plays. At some point ole boy is gonna show up on the 53-man roster even if they’ve got to cut the kicker to make room for him. He’s gonna play! Why? Because he’s worth too much money to the Cowboys not to. Why? Because Jerry Jones is the owner, general manager and president! There are no filters to go through when decisions are made in Dallas. There is no discussion playa. Everything is Jerry’s World.

Again, the owner in St. Louis wanted Sam but the GM and the coach didn’t because he didn’t fit with what they were tryin’ to do from a football standpoint. Therefore, the owner allowed them to do their jobs even if it cost him some bread. If it were up to Jeff Fischer and the GM they never would have drafted him. Why? Because they’ve got one of the best defensive front fours in the NFL.

Ok, let me put it where the goats can get it. It would be like the Indianapolis Colts draftin’ a quarterback in the seventh round. The chances of that dun makin’ the team would be none to none because they’ve got Andrew Luck and a solid back up. So clearly Jeff Fischer and the GM didn’t make that draft pick. They just had to ride with it because it was the owner’s call. It was the owner tryin’ to be progressive and relevant when the player just didn’t fit with what they were tryin’ to do.

Jerry Jones isn’t concerned with winnin’ football games though. He’s concerned with makin’ that bread and if he makes the playoffs then that’s cool but not necessary. Why? Because he hasn’t won but one playoff game since 1996! However, for him, signin’ Michael Sam will be like winnin’ the Super Bowl because the Cowboys are suddenly America’s team again and the all the bread that comes with it. Let's just call it the American Hustle playboy because they just won the Super Bread Bowl! Stop me when i start lyin'!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!