The Philistine (Why without a hustle the Spurs simply have no answerfor LeBron)

"Get off me fool! This is my house at yo crib!"

William Shakespeare once said, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” Bob Marley was on something else literally when he said, “The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” Then George Bernard Shaw ended the conversation with, “Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.”

Well…let’s put it like this playboy, it may not be happiness to Spurs fans or LeBron James haters but it is to Miami Heat fans and for lovers of the game of basketball. Why? Because LeBron showed his greatness last night when he did what must be done in San Antonio by leadin’ the Heat to a 98-96 win in Game 2 to even the series at one apiece.

For darn near three days we’ve heard from every hater on the planet try to discount this cat’s ability to play this game and his mental toughness. “He’s soft! He’s a bum etc. But what boyz failed to realize is that all hustles and scams are only good one time when you’re dealin’ with real cats that understand the G Code!

Rule 1 Article 6 Section 3 of the Code specifically says, “Recognize the hustle no matter how strong it is and never fall victim to it twice. Let your enemy know that you’ve recognized it that way it’s forever removed from their arsenal.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! The air conditionin’ trick can no longer be used pimpin’! San Antonio’s gotta find some other hustle to slow that Philistine down now and it ain’t of flesh and blood I’ll tell you that bruh. Oh, the air goin' out wasn't a hustle playboy? Who was the only cat in the buildin' with 5 percent body fat? Who was the only cat in the joint with a strong history of crampin'? Who was the only cat effected by the heat? The hustle was real playa and it worked but it's been removed by the code of the G's! Now you gotta come up with somethin' else to beat this Goliath.

After lil’ Rickey Ricardo rocked the National Anthem like a G with about ten layers of clothes on I knew that it was on and poppin’! Like I keep tellin’ you boyz, the truth is always in the details. If that dun could show up and sing the anthem with all of those clothes on in Texas in June I knew that Philistine was gonna put in work because it was a cool 70 degrees in the joint. And I’ll guarantee that the Miami Heat had their own security posted up around that air conditionin’ unit playa.

And tell all of the duns in San Antonio they better not call me for rippin' some twelve year prodigy for shownin' up in a bull fighter's costume to sing bruh! If duns can talk about this squirrel elbow that I've had since birth then everybody's open season on TheJayGravesReport playa! Sorry playboy, I've got some emotional issues from bein' teased as a kid so I'm still gettin' my licks back.

At least that dun sang in front of 70 million people last night. Even though they had to cut him out of that suit when he finished because all of the zippers locked up like LeBron's muscles in Game 1.

Ole boy started off slow with a cloudy first quarter goin’ 1-for-4 then he put the joint into overdrive and hit 11 of the next 13. Then Bill Russell pulled him to the side like he did Uncle Drew and said, “What these young bloods have to understand is that this game has always been and will always be about buckets!” Then he jumped out of the whip and finished with 35 points and 10 rebounds as the haters regurgitated in their laps.

What blows my mind is the amount of duns out here that want to see this cat fail at all cost and it ain’t gonna happen pimpin’. He’s the best player on the planet with shooters in the ride with him and he’s not afraid to trust them either! Chris Bosh dropped 18 in the kitty. Both Rashard Lewis and D. Wade brought some of Big Momma’s pound cake and 14 each to the party.

So unless you can find some young kid with a slingshot that is ordained to bring him down, that Philistine is in charge right now. It’s just that simple. You cannot bet against the best player breathin’ when he’s smart enough to stay in control of the game. We’ve never seen a player this good that possesses the basketball IQ that he does. That’s what makes it scary.

"Hey bruh, why don't you let my boy hook you up?"

Sabotagin’ the air conditionin’ was like cuttin’ Sampson’s hair off playa. So you already knew that he was gonna be aggressive in Game 2. He went straight at Kawhi Leonard and forced him into foul trouble early and he eventually succumbed to his injuries late in the fourth as he fouled out with only 9 points.

Will somebody please call Edward Scissorhands to show up and cut that duns hair bruh? He and Allen Iverson gotta be the only two cats left on the planet rockin’ cornrows and his joints haven’t been touched up since freakin’ Labor Day. I mean, he’s a got darn afro puffed up around the edges. And that’s the edited version!

It’s like the old cat in the club still rockin’ the Members Only jacket, some parachute pants and some stacks. He’s wearin’ joints from three different eras. He’s got cornrows, an afro and wearin’ baggy shorts. Wheredeydodatat? At Kawhi’s house bruh that’s where.

Now boyz have to deal with LeBron on his floor for the next two games. That’s a problem, especially after he got hustled in Game 1. It should be interestin’ to see how it all turns out on South Beach. And if Kawhi shows up with them darn braids I’m gonna put he and RGIII in a time capsule and mark it, date unknown.

Why! Because one of these duns has the hair cut of a share cropper and the other cat looks like he just left a Vaughn Mason & Crew concert on his way to hang out with MC Eight but they've got on Y2K gear! In my Hank Stram voice, "What the hell is goin' on out here!" Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!