Hustlas Ball (Why the Yankees are suckas for tryin' to hustle a boy out of A-Rod's 3000th hit ball!)

"Naw playa, you can keep the freakin' bat and the autograph!"

Fran Lebowitz, the well-known author and speaker, once said, “Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.” Mos Def, the rapper/actor, gave it to us like this, “Focused. I’m a hustler. And my hustle is trying to figure out the best ways to do what I like without having to do much else.” Then the big homie, Abraham Lincoln, spit the hustlers anthem when he said, “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”

Well playas…hustlas rule the world and if you’re sittin’ around waitin’ on a boy to do you a solid you’ll starve to death. Hustlas “Git up, Git out and Git Somethin’” like Outkast in April of ’94 bruh! Zack Hample, a 37 year old cat from New York City must have been bumpin’ that joint when he caught A-Rod’s 3000^th hit Friday night. Ole boy hit a solo homer in the first-inning off Detroit Tigers right-hander Justin Verlander.

What’s crazy to me is that boyz in the Yankees organization are fired up that Hample isn’t willin’ to give the ball back.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! You’ve got to be a straight up sucka to give that ball back. These major league cats run game on ignorant fans all of the time. They’ll usually tell a boy that they’ll trade them for an opportunity to go in the locker room after the game, meet the player, get his autograph and some freakin’ bats. You’ve got to be a complete idiot to fall for that foolishness.

I’m right with Hample on this one playa. If you want this ball it’s gonna cost you a fortune. Otherwise, I’m gonna get the bread from somewhere else. So you can pay me or some other sucka can pay me. You decide because it doesn’t matter to me.

Think about it bruh, A-Rod has made more than a half a billion dollars playin’ this game and he wants to give a boy an autograph? I’ll kick him in his butt if he tried to run that hustle on me. Now he’s actin’ like he’s not trippin’ this late in his career but you know he wants that ball.

Accordin’ to David Kohler of SCP Auctions, which sold A-Rod’s 500^th home run ball for $105,000, the 3,000^th hit ball is worth more than 50 stacks. So unless the Yankees or A-Rod himself is pullin’ up on me with at least 70 they can keep it movin’! Why? Because I’ll wait on a the sucka that’s a diehard A-Rod, Yankee or MLB fan to pull up and get even more. Because at the minimum I’m goin’ to get 50 grand. So I’ll sit in the cut and wait for it. But you’re not gonna offer me a freakin’ autograph and a chance to meet this cat. Who cares about him or his autograph and that goes for any pro athlete in my book. I want the bread playa!

Here’s the key to survival out here in these streets bruh. Don’t be a sucka for famous people, don’t be a sucka for beautiful women and always pay attention to everything movin’ around you. Why? Because famous people make a livin’ off of the fact that you’re delusional when it comes to them. Beautiful women already know that men love what they see and not what they feel. So all logic and the ability to count goes out of the window in their presence. That’s why you see boyz out here payin’ child support and livin’ in squalor. And by not payin’ attention to every movin’ around you, the game is always one step ahead of you. That’s why a boy in the major leagues can roll up on a fan and offer him or her a freakin’ bat and a picture for something that’s worth a fortune.

Keep ya head on a swivel playboy because this ride ain’t over ‘til its over! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Solid: noun – to do someone a favor
3) Stack: noun – one thousand dollars
4) Bread: noun – money, cash, scrilla, etc.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!
 

Urkel Move (Fan plays crazy after banana toss)

"Come on down here bruh! Don't run out of the joint!"

Mark Twain once said, “The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.” Vladimir Lenin gave it to us like this, “A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” Then Pope John Paul II stood up and popped his collar as he said, “An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded.”

On Sunday some racist dun threw a banana at Baltimore Orioles superstar Adam Jones who is black. However, he claims that it wasn’t a racially motivated insult. Alexander Poulides told the San Jose Mercury News that he grabbed a banana off of a catering cart at AT&T Park and just threw it on the field in frustration towards the end of an Orioles 10-2 beat down of his San Francisco Giants.

Ole boy was soooo apologetic saying that he did not intend to create such an uproar and went on to say that he realized what he’d done once he saw it on TV. Really bruh?  “Oh my god,” Poulides told the newspaper as he supposedly recounted his actions. “I threw a banana on my way out.” If it wasn’t intended to be a racial insult then why didn’t he throw a peach, an orange or his freakin’ program. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Why is, like the old timers used to say, “A Fully Grown Man” throwing anything onto the field in the first place?

Now everybody that believes that this clown didn’t realize what he’d done stand on your head and drink your beer through your nose! That's like the guy pleading with the judge that he didn't stab his brother. He just ran into the knife 26 times. Folks kill me doing something crazy then trying to pull a Steve Urkel afterwards, “DID I DO THAT?” If Adam Jones would have pulled a Ron Artest on that fool he would have been wrong but boyz in the barber shop would have understood.

People think that just because they purchase a ticket to a game that they can say or do whatever they want. He’s just lucky that Pookey and Ray Ray nem weren’t at the game when he threw that joint. Talk about furniture being moved around playa. You know how some cats walk around with the wish factor and can’t wait to fight a boy. They wouldn’t even have to have known Adam Jones to want fight for him. As soon as the banana was launched they would have been all over ole boy on GP. 

He would have gotten carried out of AT&T Park looking like a Martin after Tommy Hearns beat him down at that charity event. That joint was a classic  right there bruh! Like the playas from around the way say, “If you gone be bout it then be bout it.” Don’t throw it, run out of the joint and then act like you brain farted. That’s like when we were kids and we'd spend the afternoon ringing door bells and running off until old lady Johnson let King loose on us. Boyz would haul out but you didn't have to be the fastest one in the group. You just had to be faster than the slowest cat. Serious brain fart if you're the one that get's caught.

That’s why I had no problem with Ron Artest diving on ole boy after he threw the cup at the Palace, even though he beat up the wrong guy. Why? Because he was crazy enough to do what most boyz would love to have done in the same situation. We just have better sense than that playboy. Jobs are hard to come by these days. You feel me? You can’t just knock a boy out and go back to your cubical and keep working. They'll have you strapped bell down on a squad car filling out termination papers at the same time. So boyz lived vicariously thru ole Ron that day! It's either that or hope that Pookey nem show up because none of those duns have a job, anywhere to be tomorrow and they don't care nothin' about going to jail. "I can do 5 to 10 standing on my head" is what they'll tell you.

Like I say all of the time, growing up in the hood teaches you one major lesson in life. It teaches you how to treat folks and to never step out of bounds on a boy unless you’re willing to buy what he’s willing to sell. Folks that grow up in the suburbs never learn that lesson until they come sideways at  somebody and get the breaks beat off of them. As soon as I heard about the incident I knew it was some dun from the suburbs that just doesn’t understand that boyz have died for less out here in these streets.

Big Momma would always say, “Keep ya hands in ya pockets and ya mouth closed and you can make in this world!” And she wasn’t lyin' either playboy!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

The Bread Line

"I'm just glad I got all of that bread coming my way bruh!"

We’ve all heard the colloquialism “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!” However, most people either don’t understand it or don’t care to apply it when it comes to them because they love to hate.  Folks always want to act like “Haters” live on a reservation somewhere with racists because you can never find anybody that will admit that they are either a hater or a racist. It blows my mind quite honestly!

For the past week boyz in the barber shops and on sports talk radio shows have been hating on Alex Rodriguez for being in a slump and getting benched by Joe Girardi during the Tigers series. Bruh, the guy is  human! That means that human beings are imperfect and are subject to having bad stretches. Now the first thing people will point to is his massive contract. 

This cat is signed for the next five years and guaranteed another $114 million. It also includes a marketing agreement with the Yankees that could add as much as $30 million to the deal in the form of $6 million bonuses for reaching each of five target home run totals up to the all-time record of 762 held by my boy Barry Bonds. He has 647 home runs right now and his next milestone bonus would be passing Willie Mays at 660. He also has a no trade clause in the joint. That means you can talk trades until you’re blue in the face and if ole boy doesn’t agree to it, he’s not going anywhere. It’s like trying to convince Big Momma to move out of her house that's now in the hood that wasn’t the hood when she bought it 50 years ago.

So again I ask, why are cats hating on this dun? Just because a boy has a guaranteed salary of $114 million doesn’t make him immortal. Is it his fault that somebody was dumb enough to sign him to that deal? Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! There isn’t a person alive that wouldn’t have taken the bread if it were offered to them. That’s real talk bruh!

Don’t act like the cat has to be Superman or Bozo because the Yankees signed him to a clown contract. Where else in America can you go to work for guaranteed money? If they told you on your job today that they were going to sign you through 2017 and guarantee your money, you’d call off sick tomorrow and take a vacation next week. So why are folks acting like A-Rod can’t have a bad stretch even in the playoffs. His teammates were just as bad but because he's big money grip boyz jumped all over him and gave those other duns a pass. Now I’m not a baseball fan at all but I keep it real when it comes to real life issues.

You can’t hate on a boy for being human and it doesn’t matter what kind of bread he’s making. As long as he’s not running game, not putting forth the effort or taking advantage of the Yankees, it’s all good. Now my problem with A-Rod is that he wants everybody to like him and that just won’t happen homeboy. Any time you’re good at anything the haters are gonna to come out of the wood works. When he signed the 10 year $250 million joint with Texas in 2001 he became a marked man. Again, what would you have preferred him to do? Not sign the joint?

In my Big Momma voice, “It ain’t his fault baby that them people were crazy enough to give him all of that money!”  He took what was offered and anybody that was wearing his shirt on the day they offered the joint would have taken it too. So like I said before, don’t hate the player hate the game.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport