Showing posts with label Kobe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kobe. Show all posts

How Kobe single handedly DESTROYED the Lakers bruh! "Gangsta Lean"

"Aw so you gone put that on me bruh? 
I was hangin’ out in front of the Staples Center hollerin’ at some old timers when they started arguin’ about boyz bein’ selfish. William Gladstone, a 19th century British politician, said, “Selfishness is the greatest curse of the human race.” Martin Luther King Jr. stood up and shouted, “Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” Then Oscar Wilde, the 19th century Irish writer, blew his horn at all of the homies and said, “Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”

I’ve been tellin’ you duns for darn near five years that Kobe “Bean” Bryant was gonna be the death of the Lakers because of his selfishness and now we’re pourin’ out the liquor for all the dead homies! The police have blocked off the freakin’ street and put the chalk around the Staples Center and the homicide unit is investigatin’ the murder. All the homies back in the hood are signin' "Gangsta Lean" because it's the proper thing to do bruh. 


When the biggest free agent a boy could sign this week was Timofy Mozgov and he can carjack them for $64 million, the franchise is officially at the bottom of the Santa Monica Pier with needles in it's arms. 

I’ve been givin’ you duns a play by play on the destruction of the Lakers for years but you wouldn't listen! Don’t worry about pullin’ the surveillance tape or talkin’ to the crack head outside. I’m right here bruh! 

When the best owner in the NBA, Jerry Buss, died in February of 2013 I told you boyz that Kobe was about to destroy his son, Jim Buss, because the dun didn’t have the guts to keep the Bentley in the road. Why? Because Kobe was about to run all over him. Ole boy was already trippin’ with Jerry when he was still alive because Phil had retired and he was the ONLY person that could control him. 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Everybody and their baby's momma's momma, Ms. Jackson, knew that the summer of 2014 was comin’ and every superstar free agent in the league was gonna be available. EVERYBODY! Everybody includin’ the Black Mamba! Because that dun wanted to be the only show in town he made sure to punk Jim Buss and company into to signin’ him to an additional two years at $48 million even though he hadn’t recovered from the Achilles injury. He was already blastin’ these boyz for $30 million at the time and still talkin’ crazy to everybody sniffin’ at the Lakers skirt. Remember that? 

Whenever a boy that is near the end of his career and he's still thinkin’ that he’s the first option regardless of havin’ major injuries he’s delusional. And I told you cats then that NOBODY was gonna go anywhere near LA to play with that dun! He wanted all of the attention and the freakin’ ball and the last couple of years he got it. Now the Lakers are a complete dumpster fire in the projects and NOBODY wants to play there. You can't even use the normal sales pitch on a boy now! "It's LA bruh!!!" It doesn't work because LA the team sucks!! 


This dun single handedly destroyed the most storied franchise in all of basketball and boyz wanna act like they didn't see it. Everybody thought that it was funny when he was just talkin’ crazy to cats like the Smush Parker because he was the low man on the totem pole. Duns laughed when he told Nick Young that he didn’t even talk to cats that play on losin’ teams that don’t have rings. Even though he was technically still on the team. 

I'm not even gone talk about the temper tantrums he had that resulted in Shaq gettin' shipped out of town even though they could have won more championships together. We're not even goin' to get into that or did I just trip and fall into that pot hole? I'm just sayin'!

Boyz had the giggles when he was talkin’ crazy about Dwight Howard through the media while they were sittin’ in the same locker room. 

The cats in the barber shop thought Dwight was a buster for leavin’ LA and not wantin’ to commit to playin’ in Hollywood. Somethin’ was wrong with him. Naw playboy, nobody in LA could see the poison that was the Black Mamba. Why? Because he was the Black Mamba! Nobody in LA could see it but boyz all over the league could, especially those that were about to hit free agency. 

See the first thing Kobe fans will holler is, “Man he’s got 5 rings! He can talk to a boy anyway he wants to bruh!” And he did playa! 

The only truth to what these cats are sayin’ is that he’s got 5 rings! Here’s the problem that boyz gloss over pimpin’! Kobe had 8 different coaches while he was with the Lakers playa. But he was only able to win with one of them and guess who that was “Jack N the Box?” Phil freakin’ Jackson the coach that didn’t allow boyz to talk crazy about their teammates in the media and destroy the team. 

Oh I’m lyin’ playa? Kobe played for Dell Harris, Bill Bertka, and Kurt Rambis before Phil took his talents to Hollywood. Then when Phil retired after the ’04 season Rudy Tomjanovich and Frank Hamblin took over with no success and Phil came back midway through the ’05 season. Then after ole boy retired again in 2011 both the Mikes, Brown, D'Antoni and Byron Scott, got ran over by the Kobe bus. 


Now that he's gone the the joint is layin' in the middle of the street dead with boyz bumpin' that Tupac "So Many Tears" with "Lord knows i tried, been a witness to homicide seen drive-bye takin' lives, little kids die, wonder why as I walk by, broken-hearted as I glance at the the chalk line, getten high!" 
 Phil was the only cat that could keep that dun in check and make him treat his teammates with respect. Why was that important? Because the team couldn't build for the future!! If every potential free agent around the NBA knew that this dun was selfish and talked crazy to boyz without Phil why would they want to play with him?Therefore, when he left the joint would be in shambles and now it is.  If it was a fact that the Lakers weren't goin' to win with Kobe over the past few years then why did they keep him around. 

At some point you had to part ways with the dun. They may as well have amnestied him when they were only into the $30 million deal and not signed him to the 2 year additional $48 million because it was time to start rebuildin' at that moment. You were gonna lose money at some point in ticket sales anyway so they could have bitten the bullet then and be a decent franchise now. But instead they let that fool run around like a wild dog bitin' kids in the alley.  

I told you four years ago that we’d be standin’ at the crime scene in LA in front of the Staples Center singin’ “Yesterday” and “Gangsta Lean” because Buss didn’t have the gonads to make a move on Kobe. 


Dude!! Even Pau Gasol bolted to the Bulls! Now you know it’s gotta be bad when a boy voluntarily leaves Hollywood, the city of dreams where he was a celebrity among celebrities chillin’ in Malibu on the beach to go to the Chi!

Have you ever been to Chicago in the winter time playboy? That’s my stompin’ ground playa. I’m from G. I., home of the hustlas, wide brim gangstas and full length top coats where PETA will get their butts whooped for throwin’ paint on a boyz fur coat. And that’s the edited version!

Gasol turned down $30 million dollars to go to a Friday night stepper's set, listen to house music while sittin' in traffic on the Dan Ryan, eatin' Harold's Chicken out of a brown paper bag in the middle of a freakin' blizzard to not play another minute with Kobe! In my Chris Tucker high pitch, "Do you understand the words that are comin' out of my mouth?"  
I’ve written at least 24 Hot Joints over the last four years tellin’ you boyz that the Lakers were makin’ the same mistake that the Celtics made in the ‘80’s when they held on to McHale, Parrish and Bird way too long and it killed them for the next 20 years. Then they turned right around and did it again with Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. Praise God they found Brad Stevens!!

Let me put it where the goats can get it pimpin', if the Colts could unload Peyton Manning! If the 49ers could get rid of Joe Montana! If Jerry freakin’ Rice, the best that ever did it, can line up in an Oakland Raiders uniform! If Michael Jeffery Jordan can show up in a Wizards jersey don’t tell me that Kobe wasn’t beyond runnin’ out of the tunnel in a Milwaukee Bucks or Denver Nuggets joint if he wasn’t willin’ to walk away on his own.

Now granted, Jordan retired and refused to work for the Jerry’s, both Reinsdorf and Krause, but either way he wasn’t in a Bulls uniform. On some real talk, boyz realized that they had to move on one way or another.

Let me say this playa, if Florida freakin' State can get rid of Bobby Bowden like he was ole Eddy Cain then what are we talkin' about? Penn State wouldn't have ended up on probation with the Sandusky foolishness if they had gotten rid of JoePa ten years earlier. I'm just sayin'!

So since the Lakers wanted to be hard headed and not get rid of Kobe 4 years ago they've got to play with the darn Cosby Kids for the next few years. They've got to see Fat Albert, Mushmouth, Dumb Donald, Russell, Weird Harold, Rudy and Bucky run out of the tunnel! Could you imagine bein' the dun that kills the 2nd most storied franchise in NBA history because you couldn't go sit yo "A" down? Stop me when I start lyin’! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say 
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 
4) Gangsta Lean: verb - to be dead and layin' in a casket. Popular song released by D.R.S. in 1993


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How Jordan was noticeably absent from the Black Mamba video tributes bruh! "MIA"

"I still got love for you tho! You're foul but it's cool bruh!" 
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness." Jane Austen, the English novelist, gave it to us like this, "Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure." Then John Bytheway, a professor at BYU,  broke it down like a playa at a pimp' convention wearin' some Detroit gators when he spit, "Our world is drowning in a sea of self-centeredness. You can make yourself quite unique right away by leaving this ocean of selfishness and choosing to be curious about other people." 

Well playas...one of the greatest players to EVER lace them up played his final game on Wednesday night and boyz came out of the woodwork to holler at him. Before the Black Mamba took the floor for his last game in which he put up 60 on these boyz, I might add,  all kind of cats said "Wassup" and gave him love. However, the VERY cat that he patterned his game after was noticeably absent from the video tributes. Michael Jeffery Jordan was MIA like clockwork.  


Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! When boyz were hollerin' at Kobe before the game, that's the VERY dun that I was lookin' for because the Mamba basically cloned his game after him! Heck, when the dun came into the league he was walkin' like him, talkin' like him and even chewing  gum like him. So why in THEE world wouldn't Jordan, at the very least, holler at a boy on his last night? Because like I've been tellin' you boyz for years, Mike is all about Mike ONLY! 

He's about Jordan and Jordan only bruh! And please don't tell me that maybe they didn't holler Mike's way because Mike is Mike!!! He could walked in and taken over the mic if he wanted to. Stop it! You sound crazy!!! 


Check this out playa, Lamar Odom was in a freakin' coma a few months ago and he got up, put his freakin' clothes on and hollered at a boy! 

Here's my diehard defender of everything Jordan talkin' crazy butt naked foamin' at the mouth, "Man they only had former Lakers and teammates givin' video tributes. And plus, they probably didn't even holler at Mike because he's an owner now and they were only hollerin' at players." 


What!!!? You sound like a fool bruh! Melo and KG didn't play with that dun!! And what does bein' an owner have to do with jack squat? And that's the edited version! For boyz to show up on a video tribute to one of the greatest players of all-time and for the very cat that he patterned his game after early on not to holler was a complete foul ball! No way around it. Stop makin' excuses for Jordan bein' Jordan. 


If they were sellin' Jordan brand shoes or gear he would have been there with bells on. But since it was about somebody else he didn't have the time. 


Congrats Mamba on a stellar career and please stop me when I start lyin'! 


Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific.
3)  Gators: noun - alligator shoes

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Why writin' that "Dear Basketball" letter was the best thing Kobe EVER did! "Gone"

"I'm outta here playboy!" 
Albert Einstein once said, "Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized." Jackie Robinson gave it to us like this, "I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being." Then Henri Frederic Amiel, the 19th century Swiss moral philosopher, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, "There is no respect for others without humility in one's self." 

Well playas...if you're a basketball fan you've got to respect the game and the duns that play it at the highest level against the best in the world. So when one of the greatest players to EVER live, Kobe Bean Bryant, OFFICIALLY announced that he was hangin' up the sneakers at the end of the season boyz immediately gave him his props. Remember when ole boy wrote the poem/baskteball letter expressin' his undyin’ love for the game by sayin',  "This season is all I have left to give. My heart can take the pounding. My mind can handle the grind but my body knows it's time to say goodbye. And that's OK. I'm ready to let you go." To actual write that joint was the best decision he EVER made in his life bruh!

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st!
Kobe is one of the greatest players to EVER lace them up playboy. He's a Top 5 player with no question just gettin' out of the bed! After puttin' in work for 20 years and winnin' two Olympic gold medals, five NBA championships, havin' 18 All-Star selections, an 81-point game that ranks as the second-best in NBA history and droppin' more than 32,000 points you've gotta be a complete fool to say otherwise. So when it comes to his game you've got to respect the Mamba. 

But if we gone keep it 100 and that's what I do playa! The ONLY reason that dun wrote the letter back in November was to back boyz up off of him because he's out here makin' a complete fool of himself and a legend of his magnitude shouldn’t go out like that. Kobe is goin’ out tonight like a legend should. Celebrated!!! 

He’s been in the game for 20 years but both you and I know that the announcement is 3 years past due. Why? Because the Mamba was hard headed and wouldn't listen to his body and duns tellin' him that he was a shell of himself 3 years ago when he strong armed the Lakers for an additional $24M per year for the final 2 seasons! 

I've been tellin' you boyz for the past three years that Kobe needed to step aside and let these young boyz do their thang but he still kept forcin’ his way into the gym on a boy. He completely robbed the Lakers of $78M over the past two seasons and now this one. So when he was showin’ up at the beginnin’ of the season shootin’ 1-15, shootin’ a boy over the backboard or goin’ 4-20 he was the class clown gettin’  joked by everybody and their baby’s momma. Boyz were talkin’ about him like he was the old cats at the cage hoopin' in his street shoes with some thick and thins on. 

Kobe had treated so many boyz in the league with disrespect for so long that now that he was out here lookin' like Ole Otis in shorts he was becomin' the butt of jokes. Come on bruh, I'm only sayin' what everybody that covers this league already knows but won't say. Kobe Bryant was the biggest jerk in the NBA and nobody liked him. It only became publicly evident when NOBODY wanted to go to LA in the summer of 2014. Something that I had been tellin' boyz for 2 years prior to it happenin'. "NOBODY'S GOIN' TO LA IN FREE AGENCY!!" Why because NOBODY wants to play with that dun because he's a rectum. And that's the edited version. He’s one of the greatest but he was a rectum!!

So when you keep tellin' boyz that you're the No.1 option! That you want the rock at all times and all of the bread ($24M/yr the highest salary in the NBA) even though you KNOW you can't play every night or practice every day it becomes a problem with other people. Now boyz weren't gonna say it to his face but when he was goin’ 1-15 or shootin’ that joint over the backboard they were clownin’ him for it. 

Therefore, when the clownin' got to be way too much to deal with he announced his retirement so that boyz would stop blastin'  him to give him his props for the rest of the year. He must have called Olivia Pope and she advised him to do it because otherwise, it was gonna be a LONG season that wasn't gonna end well. The longer he denied his mortality the more these young boyz were goin' to line up to make a name for themselves. 

So before some of these young thunder cats took advantage of him he told the world that he was finished. Smart move bruh. After that they cut him some slack and gave him the reverence that he deserves on his way out. So that dunk or crossover that he was gonna get from a boy, he never got. 

Let me give you some street knowledge bruh! This entire world operates off of the rules of the streets! If you disrespect the streets, the streets will disrespect you. When Kobe kept tellin' the world that he was still the No.1 option at 37 years old he was disrespectin' the game and all the young players in it. Therefore, boyz couldn't wait to give it to him. 

However, once he decided to give the game it's respect then the young hustlas in it backed off him. It's the streets bruh!  

See Olivia got in his ear on that Sunday mornin' and said, "You don't wanna go out like a sucka like Jordan did! He was hard headed too and didn't believe that Father Time was undefeated. Listen to the words that are comin' out of my mouth! One of these young boyz is gonna embarrass you if you don't tell 'em that you're retirin' at the end of the season. I'm tellin' you that they will! Trust me on this!" 

See boyz wanna act like they didn't see Jordan in a Wizards uniform when he couldn't get up and down the floor. When he couldn't dunk and play defense but I do. He made a fool of himself and Kobe didn't want that. So he had no choice but to announce that he was on the next train smokin' after the season was over because these young boyz were lickin' their chops waitin' to take a bite out of him. Now because he showed respect for the game they stood in line to shake his hand all season long.

And PLEASE don't act like you wasn't clownin' this dun back in November every time he touched the ball. Don't act like you weren't tunin' in just to see how bad he was goin' to look until he wrote the letter and respected the game. 

I've got TALL respect for Kobe Bryant not just because he's one of the Top 5 to EVER play the game but because he was man enough to FINALLY admit that Father Time is still undefeated. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Cage: noun - the basketball court in the projects in the hood that is surrounded by a fence.  known as the cage bruh. 
4) Thick and Thins: noun - old school dress socks that are both thick and thin. boyz also called them Pimp socks. 
5) Ole Otis: noun - the character Martin played in his sitcom as the old security guard. 

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Why Kobe is one of the best to EVER do it bruh! "The Big Picture"



"I'm ridin' out playas!" 
John D. Rockefeller spit this one on freestyle Monday, “Good leadership consists of showing average people how to do the work of superior people.” John c. Maxwell the famous author, speaker and pastor said it this way, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” The abolitionist, Henry Ward Beecher, shut the building down with this one, “Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself.” 

Well playas...the dun they call Kobe Bean Bryant AKA "The Black Mamba" showed up in Indianapolis for the last time as an active NBA player!!! The vibe in the buildin' was NUTS, the atmosphere was crazy, the groupies were in full effect and half naked! You would have sworn it was the Finals bruh in LA!! More than anything Kobe knew the way, went the way and showed the way of a leader. After 20 NBA seasons on a grind that is ridiculous ole boy suited up and played as best he could droppin' 19 points in a near miss of beatin' the Pacers. Indiana barely got out of the joint alive 89-87 escapin' what was almost a TERRIBLE loss. They squandered a 17 point lead only to barely hold on. 

But Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! There was so many Lakers fans in the buildin' that it was essentially a freakin' home game for these boyz. EVERY time Kobe touched the rock the crowd went NUTS!!! That dun was a terrible 6-25 shootin' but you wouldn't have known that by sittin' there watchin' the joint without lookin' at the box score. Boyz really came out to give one of the GREATEST hoopers to EVER live his respect and I appreciate him understandin' just how big that was. 

Think about it bruh, he's gotta do this dog and pony show in EVERY arena he goes to for the remainder of the season and he was graceful with the media too. He did a full out pre-game press conference before the game not in the locker room but in the media room like it was the freakin' playoffs. He played 33 minutes when he didn't have to (well...yeah he did, they're payin' him $24 million) and he met with boyz in another full post-game press conference. Why? Because he understands that it's bigger than him. Cam Newton could learn a thing or two about professionalism and how to handle yourself regardless of the outcome. 

Yeah, I get that the Super Bowl is bigger than some chump change game in Indianapolis on a Monday night when you're on one of the worse teams in the NBA right now. However, Kobe doesn't have to do any of this. He understands that he's one of the greatest players to play this game and he's givin' people an opportunity to experience his last rodeo. And let's keep it real bruh, he's keepin' duns like me from blastin' him for gunnin', jackin' up bad shots and shootin' air balls all night. By bein' graceful and announcin' or admittin', I should say, in the "Dear Basketball" letter that he could no longer do this he essentially backed boyz up off of him for rest of the season.  

Now one cat that needs to learn something about leadership from him is the dun that used to play here in Indy, "Skittles and Lemonheads!" This cat showed back up in Bankers Life Fieldhouse for the first time since he was traded after bein' the ONLY Laker on the roster to play in EVERY game of this season and recorded a DNP on the box score. 

Now they said that he was hurt but I covered that dun for 5 years! The only thing hurt on him is his ego, pride and gonads! He's as soft as drug store cotton candy mentally bruh. When they announced that he wasn't goin' to play I could see him sittin' at his locker lookin' up in the ceiling  or starin' into the floor tryin' not to look a boy in his face. Roy didn't want to get booed nor did he want to deal with the media and especially duns like me. That's why I've been callin' him "Skittles and Lemonheads" for years. He'd rather sit in the back seat of the ride eatin' Skittles and Lemonheads listenin' to Luther Vandross with his foot hangin' out of the window than to boot up with the fellas and scrap in the middle of the street. 

Big props to Kobe for bein' a leader and at least givin' the fans their money's worth! Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3)  Scrap: verb - to fight

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Kobe over Draymond ONLY because it's called the All-Star and not theBest Player Game! "Foolishness"

"Y'all didn't know?"
Maxwell Maltz, the well-known cosmetic surgeon, once said, "Accept yourself as you are. Otherwise you will never see opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving." The big homie, William Shakespeare, gave it to us like this, "Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; oft got without merit, and lost without deserving." Then Aristotle broke it down like a playa and a pimp convention wearin' a pair of Detroit gators pushin' a Caddy bumpin' some Outkast when he spit, "Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them." 

Well playas...the Black Mamba's dignity does not consist in possessin' honors but in deservin' them! That's why the dun was just voted to his 18th All-Star game! More than 1.9 million fans voted for him to be a starter in the upcomin' All-Star Game in Toronto! So with that bein' said he'll join Steph, Young Russ, KD and ole dusty braids Kawhi in the startin' line up for the West. Will somebody please go get Keesha or LaQuisha to oil and braid that dun's hair!! He's a freakin' millionaire and every time you see him he looks like Lil' Mike from the projects by the head. They stopped wearin' cornrows 10 years ago! And while you've got Keesha nem there grab RGIII and cut his hair too.  C'mon bruh!!!

The East starters are LeBron, PG13, Melo, Kyle Lowery and D. Wade! 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! It's the freakin' All-Star game playa!  It's a popularity contest! This has nothin' to do with who's the best or who the better players are right now. The fans are votin' for this foolishness so that's why Kobe "deserves" to be a starter. If 1.9 million people wanna see that dun play then it is what it is. Fans 90 percent of the time don't even know the game. They just know what they like. Because any sucka that thinks Kobe should even be in Toronto All-Star Weekend on ability alone is insane!!! But it's not the All-Pro team pimpin'! It's the All-Star Game and is an all-star! 

I hear you cats out in Oakland screamin' from the roof tops, "Where's Draymond bruh? He's deserves to start ahead of Kobe! Are you serious?" Yes playboy! I'm dead serious!!! Day-Day ain't the Black Mamba in the fans eyes! It's the All-Star Game! Not the BEST PLAYER GAME!!! If it were, Kobe would need ID just to come in and watch the joint but this ain't that playa. 

I mean duns like D. Wade and Melo shouldn't be startin' either but they are! Why? Because the fans voted for them. Jimmy Butler and Andre Drummond are ballin' and their teams are havin' better seasons but again, this ain't that. Take it for what it is and move on. 

You boyz are actin' like you don't remember when Yao Ming was startin' ahead of Shaq in the joint years ago.  Jeremy Lin would have made the joint if his name would have been on the ballot in time the year he was "Linsanity" goin' nuts for two weeks in New York. Heck, Magic Johnson made the All-Star team and he wasn't even in the darn NBA!! And that's the edited version. C'mon bruh! You already know that they're gonna parade Kobe around the league this year and then drop him off like ole Eddie Cain in April. So let it be what its gonna be and then everybody can move on from this foolishness. Just don't put that dun on the Olympic team. We're cool as long as a boy doesn't jump off of the deep end and do that. Because then we'd have a serious problem. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1)  Detroit gators: noun - a pair of alligator shoes bruh. Boyz in Detroit are famous for rockin' them. 
2) Spit: verb - to say
3) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific.
4) Nem: pronoun - ghetto term for "Them"
5) Pimpin': noun - the person that I'm passionately tryin' to gat my point across to. 
6) Day-Day: noun - that Draymond's nickname playa

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The REAL reason Kobe didn't play against OKC bruh! "Yoke"

"No way was I gonna get out here with these young boyz!" 
Roy H. Williams, the well-known author once said, "A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether." John Wooden gave it to us like this, "Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who'll argue with you." Then John C. Maxwell, the famous author, shut the buildin' down when he spit, "A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them." 

Well playas...Kobe Bean Bryant is playin' you suckas like a bass fiddle at a hionky-tonk right now because he was big enough to finally admit his mistake of thinkin' that Father Time was undefeated by pullin' a PR move and writin' the "Dear Basketball" letter. He's smart enough to profit from it right now because you boyz have backed up off of him for lookin' like a sucka out here and he's collectin' all of the love at the moment. Freakin' GENIUS is what it is playboy!! 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! When the season started that dun was the butt of ALL NBA jokes because he refused to admit that he was mortal. So as boyz were givin' it to him from radio to the TV talkin' heads he pulled the ultimate PR move by writin' the letter.  Now instead of blastin' him boyz are givin' him a pass. 

So on Thursday night when the dun FINALLY got a "yoke" against the Rockets, boyz went nuts like the Mamba was back. But when he didn't play on Saturday night against the Thunder because of a "sore shoulder" these same suckas believed it! HE DIDN'T PLAY BECAUSE FATHER TIME IS UNDEFEATED BRUH AND THEY'RE TRYIN' TO PROTECT HIM! Stop with this foolishness! He's finally admitted that he was too old to do this and now you're believin' that his shoulder is sore! 

His whole body is sore playboy! He dunked on a boy and acted like he was hot again! Do you know how much energy it takes to get at a boy like that? And he stuck his tongue out!!! In other words he was talkin' trash to a boy on the low. You don't think that the other young guns saw that?    

Anybody with half of a brain knew that he wasn't gonna suit up on Saturday night in OKC and boyz were ready for the excuse. Well, all of the bonafide hustlas out here knew it. The rest of these fake media-types and naive cats from the suburbs were surprised that he didn't play but I wasn't.  

Do you know what a dun like Russell Westbrook would have done to him if he'd stepped on the floor? And I know that they don't play the same position bruh but when a boy is hard headed and wants to keep jumpin' in the ocean with the sharks. EVERY great white in it wants a piece of him. So trust and believe Young Russ would have found a way to guard him and give him the business. Why? Because Kobe's been disrepectin' the game actin' like he's still the No.1 option in LA at 37 years old. It wasn't until he wanted to save his image that he wrote the fake tail letter to back back boyz up off of him. And that's the edited version. So they backed off and he stuck his tongue out at 'um.

And yes, I know that I'm talkin' about a Top 5 player  of ALL-TIME but he ain't that dude today! He's not even a legitimate NBA player right now pimpin'! So trust and believe that the Garden Snake won't play in ANY game this year with a young superstar on the other end of the floor. Why? Because the Lakers and Byron Scott wanna save him the embarrassment on his way out. Because you already know these young boyz are linin' up to get at him like I told you at the beginnin' of the season. Why? Because they backed off and now he's bein' disrespectful. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
2) Yoke: verb - G.I. for dunking on someone. Oh, G.I. is Gary, Indiana playa. Home of the original gangstas and hustlas.  

Holla At Ya Boy! 
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How Kobe is tryin' to use the sympathy vote to bully his way onto the Olympic team! "Jumpin' Beans"

"Y'all gotta let me go out doin' this bruh!" 
Robert Cormier, the well-known author and writer, once said, "I had my bully, and it was excruciating. Not only the bully, but the intimidation I felt." Seth Godin, the author and speaker, gave it to us like this, "The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time. When there's no ball, there's no game. Bullies hate that. So they'll either behave so they can play with you or they'll go bully someone else." Then Michael H. Honda, the California congressman, broke it down like a G workin' a pimp convention in Detroit when he spit, "Everyone in America likely has a bullying story, whether as the victim, bully or as a witness." 

Well playas...I've got one right now as a witness to this foolishness! Kobe Bryant is light weight bullyin' the U.S. Olympic Team for a spot on the roster even though that dun is barely an NBA player at this point. He's droppin' hints to boyz that he'd LOVE to play on the 2016 Olympic Team this summer if his body holds up etc. 

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That dun is literally bullyin' boyz for a spot on that freakin' team and on some real talk he's a D-League player at this point at best. Stop it! You sound crazy tryin' to defend him! He's one of the greatest players to EVER play this game! He's at least a Top 5 player no doubt about it! However, Father Time has already taken his powers like the Winter Warlock. That dun only has a few magic jumpin' beans and some dried seeds left. It is what it is bruh! 

Think about it, they've got to drop down to the 12 best players in the league to fill that roster! Kobe's not even one of the 12 best players in the city of Los Angeles at this point! Here's my biggest problem with this dun. Like I told you earlier this week in the Hot Joint entitled "Olivia Pope" the "Dear Basketball" letter was merely a PR move to save his image as he's goin' out of the door because boyz were blastin' him for lookin' a hot mess this first month of the season. By finally admittin' that he was mortal he backed boyz up off of him. In less than 24 hours the entire basketball universe was singin' his praises and kissin' his butt because he finally showed the game it's respect by sayin' that he could no longer do what we all knew that he couldn't. Now boyz are actin' like they don't see the terrible games he's puttin' up.  

So now because boyz are lovin' all on him because of the letter he's tryin' to use that sympathy and love to get on the Olympic team. HE'S NOT WORTHY OF A SPOT ON THAT ROSTER BRUH! HIS GAME IS TRASH RIGHT NOW!! Don't let this dun bully you into thinkin' that it's not! 

Here's my diehard Mamba fan that thinks that he knows some NBA history. "Man what are you talkin' about bruh? You hatin' on Kobe! You know that he should be on that team! Remember when they put together the '92 Dream Team and Magic and Bird were on it? Magic wasn't even in the league anymore and Bird's back was a mess at that point and he was on the end of his career too." 

First of all pimpin', Magic wasn't in the league anymore because he'd retired the year before due to his diagnosis with HIV. However, he was still one of the BEST players on the planet! He was still probably the best point guard in the world so they didn't do him any favors by savin' a spot for him. He had just won the All-Star Game MVP a few months before and he wasn't even in the freakin' NBA!!! Stop it! You sound crazy!! 

Larry Bird was on his way out of the league too because of his back problems not because he couldn't still hoop! That dun could STILL pop a boyz head on nights that his back wasn't givin' him problems. KOBE CAN'T HOOP right now bruh! He's an old man out there tryin' to take some young boy'z opportunity to be on the Olympic team and that's foul. 

He's already stolen $78 million from the Lakers and held the franchise hostage for the past 3 years and now he wants to take some young boy'z shine. But you're tryin' to tell me that he ain't a bully? I grew up in Gary, Indiana playboy! I know a bully when I see one and he's straight up one! 

Since we're hollerin' about bullies let me explain to you boyz what a bully is and what a bully ain't. A bully is a boy that tries to take something from a boy that can't defend himself. A cat that is always helpin' himself to what somebody else has on a daily basis because the dun that has it is scared to death of him. That's a bully. It's not some kid that teases another kid! That's called bein' a freakin' kid! 

These boyz kill me callin' kids bein' kids, bullies! Kids have been talkin' about each other since the beginnin' of time! I know bruh! I was born with only one full arm! Boyz teased me EVERYDAY! You gotta learn how to back a boy up off of you by talkin' about his momma, his dusty shoes and raggedy coat or simply knowin' when to show some hands. That's what kids do!! But there wasn't a boy alive in the G bad enough to take my sneakers or lunch money! That's what bullies do. They take things that don't belong to them from people that can't defend themselves either verbally or physically. 

That's what Kobe is doin' right now by tryin' to sympathy/love vote his way onto the Olympic roster. I can name you at least 20 cats off of the top of my head that should legitimately be candidates for that roster right now that Kobe can't even argue with. Who bruh? For kicks and giggles, LeBron, Steph, KD, Young Russ, The Beard, PG13, Blake, CP3, Melo, The Eye Brow, Uncle Drew, Dusty Braids Kawhi, Draymond, Klay, DeMarcus, LaMarcus, K. Love, John Wall, JB from the Chi and Buster Brown from Houston. 

Now if you've got to ask who am I talkin' about because I didn't use their real names then I'm not talkin' to you and you shouldn't be readin' TheJayGravesReport because you don't know the NBA or sports for that matter. I'm not about to give you the remedial course on the NBA up in this piece bruh! The only reason that I said John Wall was because there is no cool way to say John Wall and I'm not about to call that dun Optimus Dime like these corny writers are tryin' to name him. If it doesn't sound cool in the streets it ain't a nickname playa. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1)  Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

(Video) JGR spittin' street game to KD for whinin' about the media'sdisrespect of Kobe!


Real Talk bruh! 

"But that's my idol bruh! 

Hot Joint: 
The REAL reason why Kobe announced his retirement bruh! #Lakers #NBA  "Olivia Pope"  http://www.thejaygravesreport.com/2015/11/the-real-reason-kobe-announced-his.html?m=1

"Keepin' it playa, playa!" 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
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The caption under the photo of KD isn't real but it's Real talk! 

The REAL reason Kobe announced his retirement bruh! "Olivia Pope"

"I know how to get these boyz off of me bruh!" 
Albert Einstein once said, "Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized." Jackie Robinson gave it to us like this, "I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being." Then Henri Frederic Amiel, the 19th century Swiss moral philosopher, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, "There is no respect for others without humility in one's self." 

Well playas...if you're a basketball fan you've got to respect the game and the duns that play it at the highest level against the best in the world. So when one of the greatest players to EVER live, Kobe Bean Bryant, OFFICIALLY announces that he's hangin' up the sneakers at the end of the season you gotta tip your hat. Ole boy wrote a poem on Sunday expressin' his undying love for the game by sayin' this,  "This season is all I have left to give. My heart can take the pounding. My mind can handle the grind but my body knows it's time to say goodbye. And that's OK. I'm ready to let you go." 

Now let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Kobe is one of the greatest players to EVER lace them up playboy. He's a Top 5 player with no question just gettin' out of the bed! After puttin' in work for 20 years and winnin' two Olympic gold medals, five NBA championships, havin' 17 All-Star selections, an 81-point game that ranks as the second-best in NBA history and droppin' more than 32,000 points you've gotta be a complete fool to say otherwise. So when it comes to his game you've got to respect the Mamba. 

But if we gone keep it 100 and that's what I do playa! The ONLY reason this dun announced on Sunday that he was officially retirin' was to back boyz up off of him because he's out here makin' a complete fool of himself RIGHT NOW. He's been in the game for 20 years but both you and I know that the announcement is 3 years past due. Why? Because the Mamba is hard headed wouldn't listen to his body and duns tellin' him that he's a shell of himself 3 years ago when he strong armed the Lakers for an additional $24M! 

I've been tellin' you boyz for the past three years that Kobe needed to step aside and let these young boyz do their thang but he still forced his way into the gym on a boy. He completely robbed the Lakers of $78M over the past two seasons and now this one. So when he shows up and shoots 1-15, shoots a boy over the backboard or goes 4-20 like he did on Sunday night against the Pacers it's joke city. Boyz are gonna talk about him like he's the old cats at the cage hoopin' in his street shoes with some thick and thins on. 

Kobe has treated so many boyz in the league with disrespect for so long that now that he's out here lookin' like Ole Otis in shorts he's becomin' the butt of jokes. Come on bruh, I'm only sayin' what everybody that covers this league already knows but won't say. Kobe Bryant is the biggest jerk in the NBA and nobody likes him. It only became publicly evident when NOBODY wanted to go to LA in the summer of 2014. Something that I had been tellin' boyz for 2 years prior to it happenin'. "NOBODY'S GOIN' TO LA IN FREE AGENCY!!" Why because NOBODY wants to play with that dun because he's a rectum. And that's the edited version. 

So when you keep tellin' boyz that you're the No.1 option! That you want the rock at all times and all of the bread ($24M/yr the highest salary in the NBA) even though you KNOW you can't play every night or practice every day it becomes a problem with other people. Now boyz aren't gonna say it to his face but when he goes 1-15 or shoot that joint over the backboard they're goin' to clown him for it and unfortunately, it becomes personal. 

Therefore, when the clownin' got to be way too much to deal with he announced his retirement so that boyz can stop blastin'  him to give him his props for the rest of the year. He must have called Olivia Pope and she advised him to do it because otherwise, it was gonna be a LONG season that wasn't gonna end well. The longer he denied his mortality the more these young boyz were goin' to line up to make a name for themselves. 

So before some of these young thunder cats took advantage of him he told the world that he was finished. Now they'll cut him some slack and give him the reverence that he deserves on his way out. So that dunk or crossover that he was gonna get from a boy, he won't get now. 

Let me give you some street knowledge bruh! This entire world operates off of the rules of the streets! If you disrespect the streets, the streets will disrespect you. When Kobe kept tellin' the world that he was still the No.1 option at 37 years old he was disrespectin' the games and all the young players in it. Therefore, boyz couldn't wait to give it to him. 

However, once he decided to give the game it's respect then the young hustlas in it will back off. It's the streets bruh! 
See Olivia got in his ear on Sunday mornin' and said, "You don't wanna go out like a sucka like Jordan did! He was hard headed too and didn't believe that Father Time was undefeated. Listen to the words that are comin' out of my mouth! One of these young boyz is gonna embarrass you if you don't tell 'em that you're retirin' at the end of the season. I'm tellin' you that they will! Trust me on this!" 

See boyz wanna act like they didn't see Jordan in a Wizards uniform when he couldn't get up and down the floor. When he couldn't dunk and play defense but I do. He made a fool of himself and Kobe doesn't want that. So he had no choice but to announce that he was on the next train smokin' after the season is over because these young boyz were lickin' their chops waitin' to take a bite out of him. Now because he showed respect for the game they'll be standin' in line to shake his hand. 

I've got TALL respect for Kobe Bryant not just because he was one of the Top 5 to ever play the game but because he was man enough to FINALLY admit that Father Time is still undefeated. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 
3) Cage: noun - the basketball court in the projects in the hood that is surrounded by a fence.  known as the cage bruh. 
4) Thick and Thins: noun - old school dress socks that are both thick and thin. boyz also called them Pimp socks. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 



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