The Brown Bag (Why the Kobe extension was 1 of the worse moves in sports history)

Kobe: "If you wanna just give it away? I'll take it playa!"

I stopped by the brown bag in the hood to get something to eat and over heard these cats in line talking about decisions. Robert H. Schuller, the retired televangelist, said, “Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made.” Isaac Asimov, the famous author and professor, threw his money under the bullet proof glass and said, “No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.” Then Tony Robbins, the life coach, dapped ole boy up and said, “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”

Well…ole dull Jim Buss and the freakin’ Cosby Kid front office of the Los Angeles Lakers did some big time shaping of destinies on Monday bruh! Bad destinies! When you thought that it couldn’t get any worse they’ve proven to the world that they weren’t paying attention to the late great Jerry Buss on how to run a profitable yet championship worthy franchise.

These duns have signed Kobe Bryant to a 2 year $48.5 million dollar extension. Now on some real talk, I can’t hate on a boy gettin’ his bread. So it was a gangsta move for the Black Mamba and his family because you’re always worth what a boy is willing to pay you. It was also a great move for the sales office and the boyz down in the ticket office too for the time being. However, the key here fellas is to try to be like Jerry Buss not Jerry Jones.

The Cowboys are the richest franchise in the NFL valued at $2 Billion but they’re a .500 team every year that hasn’t won but one playoff game since ‘96. The good folks in Texas keep going to the games because they’re addicted to football. It’s in their blood.

However, duns in LA aren’t addicted to basketball because most of the people filling the seats at the Staples Center aren’t from LA, they’ve moved there. They go because it's the thing to do. The only reason boyz have gone to Lakers games for years is because they were winning. When they start losing duns are just gonna change colors like they do the floor in that piece and cheer for the Clippers.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! You just signed a cat that is 35 years old coming off of an Achilles tear that has yet to play a single minute this year. Oh, did I forget to mention that you’re currently paying him $30 million this year alone to rehab an injury that he still hasn’t come back from?

Lay all of that on the table and pull out the duffle bag with the fact that he still thinks that he’s the first option and wants the ball all night. Did the entire front office completely forget that they were supposed to be looking for a young free agent SUPERSTAR to come to LA in the summer of 2014 or did they just throw that out of the window with the baby and the bath water?

Now in case you’ve been living under a rock, there isn’t a superstar alive that wants to play with Kobe. Superstars are superstars for a reason. They aren’t trying to play second fiddle to a cat that still thinks he’s the No.1!

Here goes my irrational and delusional Kobe fan, “What are you talking about bruh! Stop hatin’! LeBron went to Miami when it was D. Wade’s team! They called it Wade County for a reason!”

He sure did pimpin’ and D. Wade slid over into the passenger seat in year two and boyz went hunting for championships. He resisted giving up the wheel the first year and they ended up crashing the joint on a dark Dallas highway.

Kobe Bryant doesn’t have the capacity to relinquish the power for the betterment of the team bruh! He’s selfish and still thinks that he’s 25. So therefore, he'll be fighting in the parking lot like a drunk man over his keys saying that he's still good enough to drive the Bentley to the crib.

Therefore, you’ve just killed any chance of signing a legitimate superstar. Nobody is gonna sign up to listen to that clown talk crazy to or about boyz in the media. Nobody is gonna come in and do a Kobe Bryant internship and wait two more years for that cat to leave. Not gonna happen playboy.

I keep hearing Kobe fans hollerin’ about ole boy getting that sixth ring too. What world are you living in bruh? Unless the Lakers can dip that dun into the fountain of youth and bring back Phil it’s a wrap. Kobe can’t play for D’Antoni or anybody else for that matter. Phil Jackson is the only human alive that could coach him. Am I talking crazy? Not at all playboy! I deal only in the facts.

Kobe has had 5 coaches other than Phil with the Lakers and the only one he’s been able to win with is Phil. Gather around and learn from a real O. G. young playa. He had Del Harris, Bill Bertka and Kurt Rambis before Phil took his talents to Hollywood and won 3 championships in ’00, ’01, ‘02. Then when he retired after the ’04 season, Rudy Tomjanovich and Frank Hamblin took over with no success and ole boy came back midway through the ’05 season to eventually win 2 more championships in ’09 and ‘10.

So like I keep sayin’, the common denominator is Phil for both Mike and Kobe but boyz don’t wanna hear that.

So in summary, the Lakers went out and paid a boy $48.5 million for the next 2 years that they are currently paying $30 million to right now that hasn’t proven that he can play at all THIS season. The same cat that doesn’t understand that Father Time is undefeated and is in complete control of everything moving.

In order to build for the future you’ve got to sign a young superstar that can carry the torch for a new era. However, these duns keep giving the torch to the old cat that keeps burning the drapes with it and will eventually burn down the whole freakin’ house because he keeps lighting his cigarette with it and falling asleep with the square in his mouth.

Sure, there are young studs coming out of school in the spring but if they were smart the Lakers could have gotten one of them and a proven stud to jump in the ride in 2014!

If Joe Montana can show up in a Kansas City Chiefs uniform, Jerry “freakin’ Rice can suit up for the Oakland Raiders and if Michael Jeffrey Jordan can somehow put on a Wizards joint; regardless of whether or not he chose to do it or not. He ended up putting that joint on anyway.

At least the Bulls were smart enough to offer him a front office job knowing that he wouldn't take it because he couldn't stand the front office!!! So they walked that dun out the door without him even knowing that they walked him out the door.

So the Black Mamba ain’t beyond running out of the tunnel in Denver! In my Shakespearian voice, “Bad decisions only beget bad decisions bruh!” Not hiring Phil when they fired Mike Brown, hiring D'Antoni at any rate and now this! Foolishness 101 and Jim Buss is teaching freakin' class with a thong on and knee high boots! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!