Bucket Naked (How the Pacers just undressed before boyz even pulled a gun)

LeBron:"Oh, you gotta take this one tonight playboy!"
Lance: "I know bruh but Ima fight for it anyway."

Aimee Mullins, a record breaker at the Paralympic Games, once said, “Giving up is conceding that things will never get better, and that is just not true. Ups and downs are a constant in life, and I’ve been belted into that roller coaster a thousand times.” Marilyn vos Savant, the famous magazine columnist, stood up and said, “Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” Then the dirty dancer himself, Patrick Swayze, came out of a Friday night steppers set in the Chi and said, “What winning is to me is not giving up, is no matter what’s thrown at me, I can take it. And I can keep going.”

Well… the Indiana Pacers should have been listenin’ to ole Patrick because the “whatever” was thrown at them and boyz just submitted like a wife in the Old Testament bruh. The Miami Heat didn’t waste any time beatin’ the brakes off of these boyz 117-92. On some real talk, they fired the kill shot midway through the first quarter and these duns ran off with their tails between their legs. All except Lance The Don Dada Mr. #BornReady himself and my guy David West!

Now you can say what you want about that dun Lance but if I’m goin’ to a fight at the monkey bars on lunch hour, I want him right on my hip. You can leave the rest of those cats in Ms. McGillicuddy’s class playa. Now was he tryin’ to do too much early on? Sure he was! Was he on the verge of gettin’ his butt whooped? You darn right! And that’s the seriously edited version. I know y’all saw Udonis Halsem sittin' over on the bench about to have a fit to get into the game. He had a case of the “Wish Factor” like nobody’s business. He was over there pullin’ that dull pubic hair outta his face lookin’ like Anthony Hamilton on his first album.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! LeBron hit Lance in the face purposely when he put up a three pointer and I must say that it was smooth because nobody saw it in real time. It wasn’t until they showed the instant replay that you noticed that ole boy tapped him up. Then Lance turned into that dude that you want with you but you’re nervous that he’s gonna start somethin’ with the wrong cat and now you’ve gotta fight your way out of the club.

He gropes LeBron on the face durin’ a break in the action to get his lick back. Who does that bruh? This dun is out there thinkin’ about gettin’ his freakin’ lick back on national TV in the middle of an elimination game. Then he literally slapped the taste out of Norris Cole’s mouth. On some real talk, the Heat should have activated Michael Beasley for like five minutes and sent him in the game to beat the brakes off of Lance. Then have everybody ante up to pay his fine and keep it movin’. Now #BornReady was completely outta control but again, I’m not goin’ anywhere without him.

Because if I’m gonna get jumped on by some Philistine and his boyz on South Beach then give me a fighter because the rest of those cats literally walked into the joint and started undressin’. They didn’t even wait until a boy said, “You gotta come out of them Jordan’s, that Polo, I need that watch and everything in yo pockets.” When Lance turned around Roy Hibbert was standin’ there butt naked! In my Bernie Mac voice, “Bucket Naked!” That dun had everything he showed up with fold up neatly in a garbage bag ready to give it to a boy. He wasn’t about to fight for nothin’. Again in my Bernie voice, “Nutin’, Nutin’!”

How is it that you’re 7’2” 290lbs. and finish with 8 points and 4 measly rebounds in an elimination game in the Eastern Conference Finals bruh? I will say, David West made boyz wrestle him to the ground for his as he finished with 16 points shootin’ 8-11 until he fouled out of the joint. I’ve got tall respect for the big homie but the rest of those duns didn’t even put up a fight. They all left their gonads in the car.

Sure, Paul George finished with 29 points but he only had 1 point at half time. So essentially, that dun was hidin’ in the freakin’ bushes until the game was pretty much decided. Wheredeydodatat? And you’re supposed to be a superstar? Then he pulls the WEAKEST move in the history of sports at the post-game press conference. When asked by these dull media type cats if he'd want to play with Lance again next year he said, "I don't know."

Even if you felt that way playboy you can't say it publically because they just may re-sign him. Now you've got beef in the locker room all over a again. Paul George your ghetto pass has OFFICIALLY been revoked!

Will somebody please tell me who stole George Hill's bike? That dun was out there playin' like he was scared to death to go home and tell Big Momma that his joint was gone. But boyz wanna blame Lance for the freakin' inevitable. Are you kidding me?

That Philistine started goin’ through pockets early and often as he finished with 25 points, 4 rebounds and 6 dimes. Chris Bosh threw 25 in the kitty too and picked off 8 rebounds in the process. Both D. Wade and Rashard Lewis brought pound cakes in from Big Momma’s crib worth 13 apiece.

So now the Heat has become only the third team in NBA history to go to four straight Finals joinin’ the Celtics and the Lakers. You gotta give that Philistine tall respect playboy because he’s answered all of the haters from day one and he’s still makin’ things happen. Keep in mind that he’s only 29 pimpin’! He’s got a good 7 more years to play. He’s already been to 5 Finals, won 2 championships and 4 MVP’s  and his potentially on his way to another title all by the age of 29? I’m just sayin’!

Big props to the Heat for puttin’ in work and makin’ it back to the Finals. On some real talk, they may as well go ahead and ship the trophy on down to South Beach because it doesn’t matter who’s comin’ out of the West at this point. The Spurs are gonna bore themselves to sleep like they did last year when they ran out of freakin’ gas in Game 6 and Young Russ/Bad Russ and KD are gonna still be wrestlin’ over the steerin’ wheel and end up in Ms. Ruthie’s tomatoes if they make it to the Finals. So go on pack that joint up and ship it so we can get ready for football season. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!