Man Law (Grown Men Shouldn't Wear Jerseys EVER!)

My son and I representing our favorite team at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas, but I'm dressed like a grown man.

Ninety percent of reality is perception. There's no sense in arguing with that statement. It is what it is playboy! Since it's football season I need to holla at all of the grown men out there that think it's OK to put on another grown man's jersey! Bruh, under no circumstances is it permissible! Let's put that on the table right now. I know that you grew up seeing other men wearing them but they didn't know any better. It's like the blind leading the blind at this point.

 Grown men need to look like grown men even at the game playa. Let me be specific so there's no confusion in who I'm talking about. I’m speaking to two sets of individuals. Those cats that are at least thirty years old and those that have children that are at least ten years old. I need to be specific because boyz will be standing around talking about, "He ain't talking to me!" Cat's less than thirty without kids are still trying to figure out who and what they wanna be so I give them a pass. Let's be honest that's a very small club anyway.

A man that is at least thirty is what the ole timers call “A Fully Grown Man”. Regardless of whether he has children or not, it isn’t permissible for him to walk around looking like a child. A man with children that are at least ten years old shouldn’t leave the house dressed like his kids regardless of his age. While we’re at it let’s throw in the flat bib baseball hats and the sagging pants too.

I’m not saying that a grown man can’t represent his favorite team. However, that’s why they make team apparel like dry fit polo’s, T-shirts, jogging suits etc. It’s definitely OK to put on your team logo baseball cap as well. Just not the flat bib joint bruh. Here’s why this is so important to understand. Once you become a grown man, you have to assume the look of a grown man. You can't leave the crib looking like you're on your way to high school bruh. I’ve got a 16 year old son that dresses like that. I can't walk around looking like him!

Although that look can be very fashionable and sometimes impressive but it's childish to say the least. I’m speaking specifically about the hats, jerseys and matching sneakers. My son rocks that type of gear! If I walk around looking like him, people won’t take me seriously. I am his father, so therefore, I’ve got to look like his father. I can’t afford to look like one of his boys and we're hanging out in the same places. If you and your son leave the crib rockin' the same gear ya'll look like you're about to holla at the same chicks!

 I think back to how embarrassing would it have been when I was growing up if my dad were rockin' the same gear that my friends and I were wearing. What if I were in the basement with my boyz back in '83 and we were rockin' the shell toe Adidas, Kangols and dookie ropes and my ole man came downstairs with them joints on too? How crazy would he look bruh and how dumb would I feel?

Oklahoma vs. Cincinnati game at Paul Brown Stadium

I hear my roof top screamer saying, “Well I don’t have kids so I’m good bruh”. Let's keep it real or all the way 100, which ever comes 1st. If you’re freakin' Reggie Wayne's age with his jersey on you look like a groupie even if you‘re at the game pimpin'. Think about this… you could potentially show up in the same places he hangs out, like restaurants or night clubs etc. Let's say you're standing at the bar ordering a drink and he walks up to order one too. How stupid do you look? Even though he's making money off of you he's shaking his head. See it's somewhat OK for a professional athlete to wear one of his boy's jerseys because they're on the same level. I still have a problem with it though but it's cool. However, the regular guy looks like a groupie.

I’ve got several friends that have played professional sports including basketball, football and baseball. They’re all retired now but it wasn’t uncommon for them to think that people that wore jerseys looked stupid. You can’t be a grown man wearing another man's name of your back. I equate the guy that puts on another man's jersey to a woman that puts on her man's shirt after sex and walks around the house smelling it.

 As much as I liked Eric Dickerson when I was in high school. There is NO WAY I would have put on his jersey, even when I was eighteen years old for those same reasons. Maybe because I was an athlete and it just seemed silly to me to rock another cats jersey.

Lastly, what kind of grown woman wants to show up somewhere with a child dressed up like a grown man. Ya’ll catch that one later. If your hanging out with women that don’t mind you wearing jerseys. Then they’re probably dressed up like their teenaged daughters and you guys are meant for one another.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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