Wanda

"C'mon bruh, stop all that crying! They're trying to interview you!"

Dr. Seuss got everybody's attention when he said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Jim Valvano courageously said, “If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

Well Ray Lewis definitely has something special alright because this dun doesn’t miss an opportunity to cry. For years I’ve wondered why they called him “Baby Ray” growing up. After watching these last three playoff games it’s obvious now! He cries more than Wanda on Good Times bruh. Every time this cat opens his freaking mouth or you just look at him good he’s crying. They were singing the National Anthem and this dun was falling apart. He’s the toughest crying mo-joker I’ve ever seen in my life.

The Ravens showed up in Foxboro and put that thang on Tom Brady and the New England Patriots 28-13 to advance to their first Super Bowl in 12 years led by crying Baby Ray with 14 tackles. After missing 10 weeks with a torn triceps he’s come back killin’ boyz with 44 postseason tackles in just 3 games.

Now I don’t know if it’s just Ray doing his thing or guys are just being suckered in by him crying all over the field but it's working. I just wish that they had him mic’d up tackling boyz and crying at the same time.

The trainers have to clean the snot off of his visor every time he comes off of the field because he's a freaking mess after every series of downs. He’s out there talking $100 worth of noise and boo hooing at the same time. Talking about folks momma’s and apologizing in the same breath because he can't keep it together.

You remember when you were a kid riding in the back seat and you got a little too jiggy for Big Momma and she reached over the seat and just slapped the "I'm too cool" right out of you? Then you cried so hard that you started hyperventilating? That's Baby Ray after a 3 and out playboy!

"I can't find my wrist band bruh!"

Can you imagine growing up with this dun watching him take kid's sneakers and lunch money on the way to school? The whole time he’s got some nerd pinned up against a car going through his pockets he’s falling apart. They don’t know whether he’s serious or not so they just let him have every thing like Deebo.

What so amazing about this victory is that Brady is 67-0 when leading at halftime and the Baltimore Ravens ended that streak to go to New Orleans to play the San Francisco 49er’s for the Ship! It will be the Harbaugh Bowl because Jim and John which are the only two blood brothers to ever square off against each other in a Super Bowl will meet in the Big Easy. Big Momma is so old that she already can’t tell them apart and now this? Who’s gonna explain to her that they’re playing each other for the title? Good luck with that bruh! I say leave it alone, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Just tell her that her baby won the Super Bowl. She just figured out that her son-n-law is #1 Indiana’s head basketball coach Tom Crean.

Talk about a family of winner’s! I bet the family reunions are off the chain. Just don’t invite Baby Ray over because he’ll come through the door in mourning because the lady at the gas station looked at him funny or just plain looked at him. I keep hearing folks say that he’ll be great on television as an analyst but he’ll be even better as a professional funeral cryer. Call it Baby Ray’s Tear Service! Their motto is, “Just look in our direction and we’ll cry all day! And night, but it'll cost you.” I'm even crying writing this joint. I gotta go wipe my nose.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport