Momma Jokes

"Yo momma's butt is so big! How big is it? It's so big it..... !"

One of my most read articles of all-time was a joint entitled, "Why Grown Men Shouldn't Wear Jerseys Ever!" It blasted grown men for dressing like kids and looking like groupies in the process. I upset a lot of boyz with that joint but it was necessary bruh! Now I've got to have a sit down with the ladies.

I'm tired of going to little league and now high school football games only to see all of these mother's underwear or more specifically their thongs. Every time I sit down some woman sits in front of me with a plumber’s crack that I don't find entertaining at all. As a matter of fact, I find it to be outright disgusting bruh!

Back in the day when someone's mother came to see their kid play they were dressed like, well... someone's mother. They were fully dressed and well respected in the neighborhood. Now so many mom's are looking like they're on their way to work at the club and you know which one I‘m talking about homeboy.

Let's keep it real or all the way 100 which ever comes first! All you're doing is forcing your kid to fight at school. In case you didn't know not only are the people in the stands talking about you but your son’s teammates are too! They're riding him hard at school if they're anything like we were as kids. Oh yeah, they're telling him how much they like watching his momma shake it or "tell yo momma to come through my crib" and the most famous joint of all, "I got something for yo momma!" So what does he do? Defend your honor or what little you’ve got left and end up in the principals office.

I heard a wise man once tell his daughter that whenever the meat is in the window it's usually for sale. That goes for mommas too. If you don't have any respect for yourself at least think about your son and what he has to goes through at school because believe me they're giving it to him.

Aren't you tired of getting calls from his school telling you that he's been in a fight again? Well, it's all your fault. Could you imagine if back in the day Big Momma or Madea showed up to the games with their bloomers showing? Wouldn't you have been embarrassed?  I know I would have because all of my friends played the dozens for a living. I wouldn't have learned nothing at school but how to fight. That's real talk.

I know I talked about peoples momma's in my sleep, without any ammunition. I would just make up stuff about your momma. Where I'm from "momma jokes" were a right of passage. Now mommas are coming to games dressed like Lady Ga Ga, Nicki Manaj and Lil Kim? Man please! I would have started a war talking about these momma's out here now. It would constantly be like MMA at school bruh if I were a kid now.

For the sake of your kid’s education please put on some clothes before going to his game this week! Otherwise he's going to be doing his math homework next week through one eye because he can't beat up everybody.

Holler At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me onTwitter:@jaygravesreport