Hummin' Comin' At Cha (Pacers 76 Heat 99)

"Take that with cha! That's yours!"

Vince Lombardi stood up and said, “There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game and that is first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay and I never want to finish second again!” Then Pablo Picasso kicked his old school Stacey Adams up on the table and shouted, To finish a work? To finish a picture? What nonsense! To finish it means to be through with it, to kill it, to rid it of its soul, to give it its final blow the coup de grace for the painter as well as for the picture.”

Well the Miami Heat must have been ridin’ around with both Lomdardi and Picasso Monday afternoon before heading over to American Airlines Arena to beat the brakes off of the Indiana Pacers 99-76. Not only did they hate the thought of finishing second in the Eastern Conference but they were looking to rid the Pacers of their soul playboy and that they did.

With a monster defense the Heat forced the Pacers into turning the joint over 21 times which they quickly turned into 15 points. In every Heat loss during the series they were destroyed on the glass and in points in the paint. I asked LeBron during the post-Game 6 press conference what were they going to do differently to change that in Game 7 and he said, “Just the opposite of what you said.” Great answer playboy! They matched the Pacers in points in the paint with 30 and were +7 on the glass in Game 7!  

So on some real talk, the Pacers turnovers killed them! The Heat only shot 39% vs. the Pacers shot it at 40%! So the 15 points off of turnovers put the nail in the coffin for the boyz from Naptown.

LeBron did what LeBron does as he put up 32 points and grabbed 8 rebounds. Ole smoke breakin’ D. Wade finally came into the building and dropped off 21 points matching his postseason high. Chris Bosh initially looked like he was gonna put in work when he snatched 6 rebounds early. He finished with 8 so I can’t beat him up too bad in that category but this dun was still 3-13 from the floor with only 9 points.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! This cat must me allergic to contact bruh! I mean, he was trying to be aggressive and get to the rack but he’s as soft as infant diarrhea. Every time he went to the bucket David West or Roy put him on his back. I thought Bill Lambeer was out there or something!

I was really waiting on Puffy to run out on the court to help him get his sexy on and give him a gallon of Proactive. That dun looks like he’s going through puberty all over again. Wheredeydodatat?

Mad props to the Pacers for handling their business this season. They got out of the gate slow without Danny Granger in the mix but boyz grew up fast. The world saw Paul George become a superstar in this league playboy and on the some real talk; he finished as probably the 3^rd best all-around player in the NBA behind LeBron and KD. Try to show me a better complete player than Paul George and I’ll slap the drugs out of your hands because you're smokin', inhalin', injectin', sniffin' and swallowing something that you need to be delivered from playa!

The Heat had no idea these boyz were gonna give them that type of series but it has probably made them a better team as a result of it. My old man used to say, “Be a good sport and pull for team that beat you.” So Pacers fans SHOULD get behind the Heat and give them love going into the Finals but they won’t because 90% of the world is filled with haters and boyz don’t wanna see LeBron win another ring.

Also 100% of the Jordan jock sniffers are definitely not behind this young boy because with every accomplishment he threatens the very existence of what they believe to be immortal, “Air Jordan.” All I know is that before every one of these playoff games they put some type of stat up and LeBron was always ahead of MJ in every one of them and he’s still got at least 7 more good years in him.

 If this young cat can pull off a win this year in the Finals he'll have 2 rings vs. 1 for Jordan at the same age of 28! Not to mention 4 MVP's vs 1, 4 Finals appearances vs. 1 and the fact that this boy can play ALL 5 positions and guard them at 6'8" 260 lbs. vs. 2 maybe with a stretch 3 and that's a huge stretch for Jordan at 6'6" 210lbs.! I'm just sayin'!

Why age? Because age ultimately determines how long a boy plays the game playboy! If you don't think that this young boy isn't going to surpass Jordan in EVERY category and become the G.O.A.T. when it's all said and done you're a fool! In my Hoggy Low Down voice, "Waaait for it! Because he's bumpin' that Xscape, "Hummin' Comin' At Cha" all the way to the Finals!

Good luck Heat!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Ultimate Distraction (Game 7 Preview & Prediction)

"I know Big Momma and Ms. Ruthie down the street are mad at me bruh!"

It’s Game 7 playboy! We can put all of the famous quotes to the side on this one because none of those joints will help a boy win tonight! I could say it like Plato, Aristotle, Abraham Lincoln, Big Momma or Uncle Luke but if a boy doesn’t bring his “A” game tonight he’s going to the crib literally.

Now if I were a betting man I’d go with Miami because they haven’t lost consecutive games since early January.  However, I don’t play with bread like that pimpin’, so all bets are off! It’s too hard to make and I respect my hustle too much to throw money on the table because I wanna talk crazy to some duns at the barber shop!

It’s all knotted up at 3 and to tell me that Indiana has no shot tells me that you haven’t been watching these cats play during THIS series. Like Charles Barkley keeps saying, “Miami ain’t gettin’ no taller!”  So if they aren’t signing Shaq in his prime by 8:30pm and chauffeuring him over to American Airlines Arena and putting his uniform on him for him. They’re still gonna get murdered in the paint, and beat senseless on the glass. In all 3 loses the Pacers have essentially doubled the Heat up in both categories. Big Momma would be proud of the beat down they’ve given them with the thin switch because that joint stings and leaves weps.

Don’t get it twisted, the Heat are like 51-5 down the stretch and they’ve got the best basketball player alive backed into a corner with his legacy on the line. They’ve got the deepest bench known to man right now with shooters everywhere. When D.Wade and Bosh decide to come into the arena and not hang out in the parking lot the whole freaking game like they did in Game 6 they’re unstoppable!

The question is, will the shooters show up and will Wade and Bosh come out of the gopher hole long enough to help LeBron finish these boyz off? That’s the million dollar question playa! On some real talk, Indiana will destroy them in the blocks because the Heat have no answer for that. You can put all your bread, credit cards, food stamps or EBT joints on that stat homie! Don’t act like you’ve never seen a boy gamble his food stamps double or nothing. Now they’re using the EBT joint because stamps aren’t available. I’m just keepin’ it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st!

Like I always say, I love the NBA playoffs for one reason! The BEST TEAM always wins the series. This ain’t college ball baby, you can’t just show up, get lucky and win a championship. The best team handles EVERY situation with complete professionalism on and off of the court because they realize that EVERYthing has an effect on the game.

Big boy Roy just cost the Pacers Game 7 and a trip to the NBA Finals playboy! When ole boy lost it right in front of me I might add and cursed the idiot out that pissed him off during the post-Game 6 press conference and then he tried to go new school rapper and throw in the “no homo” line that all the kids use now. It created an unnecessary distraction that a young team can’t afford to have at this point. Right before Game 7 on the road? Not a good look playboy!

 Boyz in the hood understood what he was saying and that it meant nothing but mainstream American didn’t. The problem is, the boyz in the hood aren’t holding the cameras and asking questions feeding the rest of the world his responses! That’s what ole boy failed to realize. He wasn’t sitting in the barbershop on 25^th and Broadway in the G! Even the gay or lesbian sitting in the shop understood that it wasn’t a biggie because that’s normal chop it up language in the hood.

 “No homo” means I’m telling you that I’m not gay but what I’m saying may somehow indicate that I am. So you’re just letting a boy know before he gets any ideas.

So when he said, "I've got Paul George's back "No Homo" he wasn't being derogatory at all. He was just choppin' it up. The problem was, he wasn't choppin' it up with cats that understood what he was saying and boyz took it the wrong way.

It's no different than me telling a cat that I really like the way his suit fits him and then me telling him that I'm not gay but I'm just sayin'! No one would be offended by me saying that.

Was it the right thing to say? Not at all but I just telling you that ole boy was trying to be offensive. I’m just telling you how boyz talk in the hood and nobody gets offended, straight or gay. My problem with Roy is that he’s so corny that he tried to be cool and made a fool of himself.  Roy forgot that he was at work bruh! On some real talk, we ALL say some things at the crib that we wouldn't say at work! The difference is,  most people are smart enough to know that.

The only cats that can talk crazy and still keep their jobs are rappers because they get paid to talk crazy. The problem is, rappers wanna be ball players and ball players wanna be rappers and sometimes boyz forget who they're really supposed to be. Hibbert you ain't Lil' Wayne! He's a lot shorter than you bruh but obviously just as intelligent!

The BEST team will win because they didn’t create news off of the court that took away from their normal routine. If you didn’t know, athletes are the most superstitious group of people alive and the slightest change in routine has a tremendous effect on them.

  Roy got hit for $75,000 G’s and he’s now worrying about his public image instead of worrying about LeBron going into beast mode and doin’ work on his Pacers tonight. Now he’s reaching out to Jason Collins that he could care less about on twitter for PR purposes when he SHOULD be preparing for Game 7! In the famous words of Frank Tyger, “Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do it, and doing it.” Heat advance as a result of all of the foolishness I just gave you. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn't real but it's REAL talk!

Sick & Not Tired! (Heat 77 Pacers 91)

I'm sick but tomorrow I'll be fine but you'll still be beaten up in the paint bruh!"

The English philosopher, Bernard Williams, jumped out of the ride and said, “Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.” Singer, Carnie Wilson,  pulled up and said, “I have willpower and determination. I am very resilient, like rock.” Then the authority on leadership and change,  John P. Kotter, shut the building down in a lime green Maserati by saying, “We are always creating new tools and techniques to help people, but the fundamental framework is remarkably resilient, which means it must have something to do with the nature of organizations or human nature.”

Well, I would say that the Indiana Pacers have put together a strong organization by building a team from the ground up and the human nature of it is ridiculous! David West was suffering from an upper respiratory infection with a 100+ degree temperature just before the tip of Game 6. Where a loss would send the Pacers to the crib literally and ole boy helped his team force a Game 7 by beating the brakes off of Miami 91-77.

West played a remarkable 35 minutes and some change, scored 11 points but more importantly picked off 14 rebounds in the process! Big boy Roy just keeps hurting them inside and continued to dance to his favorite song of 24 points and 11 rebounds. The story line was the same, the Pacers outscored the Heat in the paint 44-22 and destroyed them on the glass 53-33.

Miami is the same set of duns that won 27 straight during the regular season, finishing with a franchise record 66 wins and having won 23 out of 24 road games before getting drug down the street by Indiana in both Games 4 and 6!  So what does that tell you? If you’re gonna roll through the hood looking for trouble you've gotta have some real G’s in the ride with you!

LeBron showed up for Game 6 with what he thought were some soldiers! All of a sudden boyz started shooting and duns started bailing. Both D. Wade and Bosh folded up like a tent and went 4 of 19 from the floor. The next thing LeBron knows, Mike Miller is ridin’ shotgun! What? This cat hasn’t played since what seems like last year bruh! Then he looks in the rear view mirror and old Gatorade drinking Juan Howard is in the back seat butt naked because he forgot his uniform because he hasn’t been active since they picked him up. Ole boy had on street shoes, socks and a jock talkin' about he's ready to play!

LeBron couldn’t figure out whether he was in Miami or Cleveland! With the amount of bread they’re paying Bosh and Wade they've gotta give you more production than that even on a bad night playboy. As a matter of fact, there are no such things as bad nights at that pay grade. LeBron picked up the tech not because he sprinted down the floor after a bad call but because he couldn’t believe these boyz set him up.

It’s like they went out and jumped on some cat’s little sister on the bus and took her book bag, then came through and told him that they just needed him to ride with them to somewhere. He agrees to roll out with them because they’re the big homies.  However,  they failed to tell him that the whole project was looking for them. Just as they get a half block from the war zone these duns jump out and the brakes go out on him so all he can do is take like a G. Wade even left him hangin’ at the podium during the post-game press conference. You know they normally do those joints together so that they can finish each other sentences. It’s so cute too.  

It’s a Game 7 now playboy! Anything can happen, especially when you’ve got cats that are known for taking smoke breaks and never coming back. D Wade is the master smoke breaker and now it looks like he’s got Bosh doing 3 or 4 packs during the course of a game.   If LeBron’s got to depend on duns like Mike Miller to play strong minutes and they’ve got to activate Juan Howard he’ll be better off playing Game 7 by himself or grabbing some of those bums he took to the Finals from Cleveland. Stop me when I start lyin’ bruh!  

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Clear as Vodka (Birdman Suspended for Game 6)

Tyler Hansbrough: "I knew I could send you over the edge bruh! Now go head on playa!"

Edmund Burke, the Irish statesman and philosopher, got up as the fellas were choppin’ it up in the barber shop and said, “He that struggles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.” Richard Brinsley Sheridan immediately cut ole boy off by saying, “Remember that when you meet your antagonist, to do everything in a mild agreeable manner. Let your courage be keen, but, at the same time, as polished as your sword.”

Well, Birdman didn’t get his hair cut day playboy! He missed out on all of that wisdom because he was hangin’ out with the gangstas and thugs talking about the wish factor. “I wish a boy would!” You know that conversion that boyz have all the time? Cats throw out different scenarios and you say what you would do to a mug as a result.  

On Thursday night in Game 5 Birdman allowed the ultimate NBA antagonist Tyler Hansbrough to take him over the edge and he snapped. We’ve all seen it so I don’t need to explain what happened. He was hit with a flagrant 1 during the game instead of being ejected from that joint like he should have been. If nothing else, because he was wrestling with the official that was trying to defuse the situation.

It’s like getting into a scrap with your little brother and your old girl comes in to break it up and you keep trying to fight. You’ll get beat down not because you were fighting but because you wouldn’t chill out when she said stop!

So the NBA came in on Friday,  lowered the boom on ole boy and suspended him for Game 6! Why? Because he’s an idiot! All he had to do was walk off after the ref threw the tech and he would be all good tonight for Game 6 in Indy. Instead, he’s at the crib today looking stupid.  

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! I’ve been saying all year that somebody is gonna knock all of Tyler Hanbrough’s teeth out of his mouth at some point because he’s an antagonist and boyz like that get ran up on sooner or later. Now all of the Pacers fans wanna act like Tyler was completely innocent because they were only watching that play.

See I grew up in G.I. (Gary, In.) and it’s like any hood in America, you can’t afford to only pay attention to one episode because that could cost you your life playboy. Tyler is a cheap shot artist and folks from the suburbs and rural America completely miss what this dun is doing on the floor. He’s the goon that boyz always talk about but he doesn’t look like it.

Whenever he’s on the floor he’s talking crazy under his breath and throwing cheap shots that look unintentional. For example, earlier in the series like maybe Game 2, D. Wade went up for a 3-pointer and ole boy fouled him, then grabbed him by the neck and threw him down. However, he acted like it was an accident. D. Wade knew that it wasn’t! Why? Because he grew up in the hood and he’s been watching this fool the whole time. That’s his modus operandi! It’s Latin for method of operation. For all you ignorant mugs that refuse to set foot out of the ghetto, that’s how ole boy gets down.

Put it like this, if they had been playing in the cages in the projects, Tyler would have gotten tore out of the frame for throwing D. Wade down with no questions asked! As soon as he had hit the ground boyz would have been beating the brakes off of ole Tyler bruh!  See it's a different world in the ghetto but he fails to realize that he's playing cats straight from the ghetto. Regardless of how much money they make! They still have ghetto instincts and they aren't going anywhere.

Birdman ain’t crazy bruh he just lives by the same set of rules that most cats from rough environments live by. The “Ima catch this dun sleepin’ and Ima cold cock him to make sure he knows that we ain’t taking no more cheap shots and him talking crazy out here.”

There is a reason why they call ole boy Psycho T. bruh! It’s not because he appears to be a scrappy player. He’s a down low dirty player and folks that didn’t grow up in the hood just can’t see it.

It’s like going to Vegas and walking along the strip at night. Most folks don’t see all of the prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers and undercover cops out in plain sight but for anybody from the hood it’s as clear as Vodka. That’s Tyler Hansbrough bruh! Ima start calling that dun Mr. Vegas!

 He doesn’t look like a dirty player and doesn’t act like one but he’s as dirty as they come. Now if he’s playing on your team you love him but don’t get it twisted playboy, he’s out there for one purpose only, to frustrate boyz by doing under handed stuff all night. Why else is he even on the team? He’s not scoring any points and his activity rarely shows up in the box score.

I know y’all remember when ole pubic beard Udonis got suspended for Game 6 last year against these boyz. Why? Because of “Mr. Vegas himself!”  Understand this playa, cats ain’t going at this dun for no reason. Just sit in the cut and watch him because it will be like putting on bifocals for the first time. You’re gonna be like “Man I see what you’re talkin’ about now!,” just as somebody is knocking his grill out in the fourth quarter! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

The TakeOver (Pacers 79 Heat 90)

"Are you sure you want some of this playboy!"

As boyz sat around the barber shop talkin’ trash William Shakespeare said, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” George Bernard Shaw got up and said, “Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness but it is greatness.” Then Winston Churchill got fired up, put his cognac down and said, “The price of greatness is responsibility!”

LeBron James was born great, did what had to be done and paid the price because he was responsible for the Pacers demise in Game 5, 90-79! The Pacers were up 46-40 early in the third quarter when a timeout was called on the floor. LeBron huddled his team up and gave them the business playboy. It was so bad that they had to blur his mouth just to show the replays.

He knew that the Heat couldn’t afford to go back to Indiana down 3-2 and play in front of that Bankers Life crowd. So Super Man or shall I say the Brown Hornet completely took over the joint scoring 16 of his 30 points in the third quarter as Miami went on a 30-10 run with ole boy either scoring or accounting for 25 of those joints.

When a cat is that good, in my Mr. Willie from the car wash voice, "Ain’t nothing you can do with him youngsta!" When Lebron is clicking it makes life easy for the rest of those duns.

Ole pubic beard Udunis made his last 8 shots finishing with 16 points. Ima put some Nair in his lotion bottle for Game 6! That way he'll be clean shaving but his face will stink like crazy though. At least he won't look like Ned the Whino when he shows up!

Super Mario chipped in 12 and even smoke breakin' D. Wade added 10 to the kitty. Speaking of smoke breaks bruh! Shane Battier(0 points), Ray Allen(7 dull points), George Hill(1 point) and Lance Stephenson(4 points) was out in the parking lot finishing off at least 4 or 5 cartons and shooting dice with the fellas because they weren’t in the building bruh.

Jesus Shuttlesworth was out there looking like Jake Shuttlesworth with some old school grey sweats with his shorts on over those joints. Ray Ray’s old legs were out there talking to him the whole time saying, “Hey bruh, what you doin’ man? This ain’t gonna work! You told me 20 minutes or so during the regular season not the playoffs too. We gotta come up wit somethin’ else playboy!”

George and Lance must have gotten beaten up and disoriented in Overtown because neither one of those duns even made it into the arena. Paul George, Big Boy Roy and David West came to work with some grown man lunches no doubt about it. Roy was solid with 22 points and 6 rebounds, Paul dropped off 27 and pulled 11 off of the glass and David wasn’t trippin’ with his 17 and 8.

However, the problem for the Pacers was that they didn’t dominate the glass like they did in game 4 (49-30). The rebounding differential was only +1 for them. It was 33 vs. 32 and Miami outscord them in the paint by 2, 34-32.

Not to mention all of the dull 17 turnovers the Pacers committed. You can’t win anything turning the joint over like that. Especially when you’ve got a beast like LeBron on the floor that won’t even sit down to rest. That dun played 44 minutes and wasn’t breathing hard at all! Now Paul George played 44 minutes too but he’s got a long way to go to get to great player status but he is riding past the subdivision though. He just can't buy a crib up in that joint yet. There’s nothing you can do with LeBron when he’s in a zone. In my Bernie Mac voice, “Nutin’!, Nutin’!”

 

"Man just give me 30 seconds bruh! That's all I need!"

I said before the series started that I was waiting for somebody to knock all of Tyler Hansbrough’s teeth out of his mouth because his entire purpose is to frustrate boyz and cause trouble. He does absolutely nothing that shows up in a box score. They need to add columns for pushing, cheap shots and mumbling under your breath when nobody is looking or at least he thinks nobody is looking. If he had grown up anywhere near the ghetto he would be toothless and wearing an eye patch by now bruh. That’s real talk!

The Birdman had simply had enough last night and was ready to get ejected just to take some of those joints out. I know Heat fans were like, “C’mon bruh, we need you on the floor! They’ve been killin’ us in the paint for 4 games! You can’t get ejected from this joint now!” But you know how it is, some cats don’t care nothing about going to jail. I know boyz that will do 5 to 10 like it's summer camp. Going to jail is like free time from having to be responsible. That was Birdman last night playa.

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! He's the type of cat that will cost a boy a championship because he can lose it at any moment. He's the dun that gets boyz shot up when they're in the wrong neighborhood hollerin' at some chicks because this fool will start screamin' at rival gang members out of the window. If he's gonna ride, you gotta make sure that his window doesn't let down and the door doesn't open where he has to climb over the seat to get out. Most importantly, make sure you've got his seat belt on like the Bulls did with Rodman. Otherwise, you're in trouble down the stretch!

He was like, “I’m willing to sit just to knock this fool out! Y’all ain’t feelin’ my pain bruh. I don’t care that we’ve come this far and that we’re on the brink of something special. I wanna knock this fool out.” On some real talk, he should have been ejected but the NBA has more sense than that or should I say more financial sense than that because Nazr Mohammed got tossed for pushing LeBron!  Stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quotes under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Brown Baggin' (Heat 92 Pacers99)

"All knotted up now playa! Let's do this maaaaan!"

Steve Garvey once said, “You must be passionate, you must dedicate yourself, and you must be relentless in the pursuit of your goals. If you do, you will be successful.”  John F. Kennedy threw the dominoes on the table and shouted, “History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.” Then Big Momma took a squig of her gin and said, “I bet you better watch what you throwin' in my house or Ima be relentless on yo butt!”

The Indiana Pacers came into game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals down 2-1 and desperate playboy. A loss at the crib would be fatal. So Big boy Roy Hibbert playing in front of his Georgetown head coach John Thompson III, in whom I had to dap up pre-game for those bangin’ shoes and the nice seersucker jacket he was rockin’, went to work and put up 23 points and grabbed 12 boards in route to a 99-92 win.

"We're never going to give up. We're relentless!" said Hibbert after the game. All of those guys in there, they believe we can win. No matter what the analysts or whoever says anything, they count us out, those guys in the locker room were ready to play and we went out and played our hearts out."

 Once again the entire starting 5 for the Pacers brought double figures to the party and dessert pimpin’! Lance Stephenson brought 20 of Big Momma’s sweet potato pies, George Hill stopped over in the hood at Long’s and got 19 glazed donuts, David West picked up 14 Bar-B-Q Rib tips from the Kountry Kitchen and Paul George swooped up 12 large pizzas from Pasquale’s. They call that brown baggin' where I'm from bruh because everything comes in a brown paper bag. Now you know if a boy eats all of that he’ll be sick! So you completely understand why LeBron and the Heat were nauseous flying back to South Beach last night.  

Not only did everybody show up with food, they completely destroyed the Heat on the glass 49-30. That means that the Heat got very few second chance shots playa! The game plan was to attack the Heat in the paint and it worked like a charm. The Pacers outscored them 50-32 in that department.

The crazy thing is, when you look at the stats of points in the paint, rebounds and field goal shooting percentage the Pacers should have won this joint by 20 but that didn’t happen playboy. Why? Because they were playing the best team in the league! So even when you’re killin’ ‘em in every statistical category and can’t get pull away from them it tells you something. You gotta bring Big Momma’s cookin’ or some good ole brown bag to the joint every night in order to beat them.

It’s the NBA son! You don’t get props for winning 1 or 2 of those joints you gotta win 4 of 'em. So know that it’s all knotted up, boyz gotta put on their big boy pants and sneakers going forward.  I’m talking about both teams bruh! In my Puff Daddy voice, “It’s real in the field now!” What are you gonna do with the opportunity?

What I couldn’t understand for the life of me was why LeBron didn’t attack boyz like he did in Game 3? He kept putting his back to the basket and was settling for jump shots or passing that joint off; even when he had one on one match ups with boyz that he could clearly beat to the rack. Wheredeydodatat? I'm just sayin'!

Maybe Big Momma’s cookin’ is finally starting to effect these Miami boyz or is it the NBA trying to get 7 games out of this joint because the Western Conference Finals were a joke and got no ratings and made no bread.  I’m just sayin’, because it’s fishy when a boy fouls out that has only fouled out  of 5 games in his career and only twice in post-season play.

On some real talk, he was doing what he always does but in Game 4 those joints suddenly became REAL fouls. They've been fouls all year but boyz have looked the other way. Now that Memphis has laid an egg it's gonna cost LeBron. I understand that these duns gotta get paid but when it becomes obvious that’s where I draw the line! If you’re gonna rip me off at least wait until I go to sleep and then put my wallet back because it’s a hassle standing in line down at the BMV.  Stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

No Brakes (Heat 114 Pacers 96)

"Can't stop us tonight bruh! Holla at us Tuesday and see what we talkin' bout playboy!"

Confucius says, “The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential…these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” Winston Churchill said it this way, “Continuous effort – strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.” Then Emile M. Cioran, the Romanian philosopher, shut the building down with, “Ambition is a drug that makes its addicts potential madmen.”

At some point you knew that the madmen were gonna show up. So in Game 3 they got off of the city bus in the middle of downtown Indy and started fighting boyz. They beat the brakes off of anybody standing around with a blue and gold jersey on 114-96.

In games 1 and 2 in Miami the Heat didn’t get the additional production out their bench that they usually get and that allowed the Pacers to hang around. During Game 1, which went to overtime, the Heat scored 103 points but 93 of them came from 4 cats. The Pacers played out of their minds and only 4 duns from Miami were at work. It was the same situation in Game 2! At some point you had to know that boyz were gonna break the chain and get with them.

It’s like when you were a kid walking home with the fellas and some cat would throw rocks at the neighbor’s dog named King that was chained up in the yard. Everyday he’d throw rocks at him and boyz would warn him not to but he wouldn’t listen. Then one day the chain breaks and King destroys him. That was the Pacers last night bruh!

They put LeBron (22 points) in the post and that had boyz all messed up. The Heat outscored them 56-32 in the paint and that left ole pubic beard Udonis hangin’ out on the street corner by himself early and often as he went 8 of 9 from the field to destroy the Pacers with 17 points. All 5 Miami starters finished in double figures and they got solid production from the bench which they hadn’t gotten in Games 1 and 2.

Norris Cole chipped in 5, Birdman kept it all the way 100 literally going 4-4 as usual finishing with 9 points, Ray Ray knocked down 2 big shots to give them 6 points and ole race track head Shane Battier had 7. That’s all they needed from the bench playboy.  As long as the bench is keeping the water out of the boat the Heat are hard to beat. There was no way those duns weren’t going to show up in this series because they’ve got the best bench in the league. It was just a matter of time pimpin’! To top that off they only committed 5 turnovers as a team all night bruh! Wheredeydodatat?

On some real talk, Halle Berry is only gonna get out of bed looking bad every now and then bruh! The Heat has won 23 out of 24 on the road. They’ve won 47 out of 51 games playboy. In order for the Pacers to win this series they’ve got to play out of their minds EVERY night and like I said a few days ago, they’ve got at least two eggs to lay in this series based on their history. That was one last night. The BEST TEAM always wins a best of 7 series playa! Let's see who the best team is?

LeBron is probably going to play with his back to the basket for the rest of this joint and even though Paul George has been ballin’! LeBron took him to school last night in showing him that in order to be great you’ve gotta be able to do everything. He leaned on that young boy all night and by the middle of the 3^rd quarter that 260 lbs. got heavy. I’m just sayin’!

Game 4 is Tuesday night and I hope that they charge cats with Miami Heat gear twice the admission to get into the joint. It’s shameful that the Pacers, as good as they are, have to play on a neutral floor even at the crib in the playoffs. That’s hurts whether boyz wanna believe it or not! Whenever Miami scored I thought I was at American Airlines Arena. Crazy!

Some clown left me a comment the other day about why I was proppin’ the Heat one day and then proppin’ the Pacers the next day. Sometimes I know boyz are a little slow so Ima take my time with this one. The Heat won Game 1 and the Pacers won Game 2. Whoever wins the freakin’ game gets the props you idiot! It’s called a game recap! That means that I’m telling you what happened during the freakin’ game. See how that works playboy. The Heat won game 3 so they get the star and smiling face on their paper this time and the Pacers got the upside down smile. Don't make me sit you in the corner for being stupid and disruptive going forward playa!  

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn't real but its REAL talk!

On Everything I Love (Pacers 97 Heat 93)

"That's on my Momma bruh!"

Paul “Bear” Bryant once said, “If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.” The famous speaker, William J.H. Boetcker, got up and said, “Your success depends mainly upon what you think of yourself and whether you believe in yourself.” Then Diane Sawyer shut the building down with, “Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it.”

Well the Indiana Pacers believed that they in fact have an equal right to win playoffs games in this series too. On Friday night knowing that they couldn’t afford to go down 0-2 to the defending NBA Champions or better yet come back to Indiana without Big Mommas ride that Frank gave away on Wednesday. It was a must win situation for the Pacers and boyz stepped up to win 97-93.

The entire Indiana starting 5 came into the building with the attitude, "This joint is on everything I love!" Then they started taking boyz sneakers and jewelry from the word go. Each one of them finished in double figures with Big Boy Roy being a beast in the paint with 29 points and 10 rebounds. Paul George went to work with 22 points and threw 6 dimes while David West chipped in 13, George Hill and ole Lance added 10 to the kitty for the second run to the “L.”

After Frank Vogel completely gave the ride away gambling in the Pork ‘N’ Beans Projects on Wednesday it was serious business on Friday night. Again the Pacers starters played significant minutes to pull out a win on South Beach. Each of these cats played at least 39 minutes with both David West and George Hill putting in 41. The question is, can they continue to play those types of minutes the entire series? Well, if they wanna win this joint they’ll have to because their bench doesn’t give them any room for error. They got 5 points from those duns last night.

On some real talk the Miami bench was dull too. Shane Battier (o points) couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat in the middle of the ocean playboy. Ray Allen (6 points) was running up and down the court like he’s been playing the spinning game with his forehead on the bat. He can’t hit an elephant in the butt with a base fiddle at this point. Norris Cole’s ’88 flat top is weighing him down right now. He walked out of the joint with 3 points bruh.

 Now was it them or was it the best defensive team in the league puttin’ in work? I’d say it was the latter of the two playboy. Now LeBron is gonna get his bruh. You can’t stop him from doing what he wants to do. He put up 36 points and grabbed 8 boards on GP last night but they held everybody else in check.  Bosh (17) and D. Wade (14) were productive but those other duns were in the back room gettin’ tossed. The Pacers defense is a beast!!! 

On some real talk, I just wanted to run out on the floor and kick Mike Miller in his butt when he hit the 3-pointer at the buzzer to close the half. This dun hadn’t played since George Jefferson lived next door to Archie Bunker and this fool takes one shot all night all by himself and he’s hurt. What? Nobody touched him or even breathed his way and he needs help off of the floor. Y’all know I’m telling the truth.

I know y'all saw Paul George take the Birdman's entire soul out of his body and and dry clean it with that monster "That's on my Momma Dunk?" OMG! It was a wrap after that joint. The Birdman might show up with all of his tattoos removed on Sunday. He's on his way to confession right now after that joint.

I promise when I see Udonis Haslem on Sunday Ima have my wireless clippers in my pocket and Ima run up on that cat and cut that pubic hair growing out of his face. Attention all men! If your joint doesn’t have the DNA to connect then you gotta be clean shaving. He looks like he’s touring with Anthony Hamilton and doing all of the facial stunts for him. Ole boy looks like the jick standing in front of the “L” asking boyz for exactly 43 cents. Then when you give it to him he says well just let me get a dollar. Then you gotta just curse him out. That’s Udunis bruh! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Game 3 at Bankers Life FieldHouse should be a great one playboy. Question is, will the Pacers fans show up or will it be a home game for the Heat like it always is in Indy when big name teams show up. When the Lakers, Heat or the Bulls come to town you don’t know whether you’re at home or away. That’s so dull. It’s the NBA playoffs bruh and that type of behavior could cost the Pacers a game or 2 pimpin’! I’m just sayin’!

Hey LeBron, ESPN put up a stat the other day that you were the most clutch player in the league this year because you've made 45% of all shots taken to win a game under 10 seconds left and Kobe was second at 27%. With 17 seconds remaining you gotta gribble around until YOU find a shot. It's OK not to make the right basketball play sometime bruh! Take the FREAKIN' shot because you've earned it. Stop me when I start lyin'!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!   

Double or Nothing (Game 2 Pacers/Heat Preview)

"Man Big Momma is gonna kill me if I don't get that ride back bruh!"

Frank Vogel has been up for the past 36 hours looking for his ride in the Pork ‘n’ Beans projects in Miami after he left that joint running at the gas station when he went in to buy a lottery ticket on Wednesday night. Big Momma warned him about gambling too. The police told him that he was on his own because they didn’t look for rides that were given away. So instead of preparing for Game 2 this dun can’t get over going to the ghetto and gettin' caught slippin’!

I would say that it happens to the best of us but it doesn’t playboy! It only happens to cats that didn’t grow up in the war zone that don’t know any better. How do you play 51 minutes and 58 seconds of lights out basketball and get out of the ride and leave the keys in it with some stone gangstas in the parking lot? There was one in particular that was 6’8” 260 lbs. that is known around the world as a beast in these streets and you trusted that your whip would still be there when you came out of the store.

Late last night Vogel got a tip that the cats that had his ride were still in his joint just joy riding, kicking it with the fellas and that they would be at the American Airlines Arena tonight at 8:30pm. If he wanted his joint back they would play him for it.

So instead of staying up all night he decided to get some sleep and get his team ready to play. Because if he comes back to Bankers Life FieldHouse without it Big Momma is gonna kill him! She just put new rims on that joint and an old school snatch out.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes first! The Pacers played out of their minds in Game 1 and still came up with an “L” because Vogel was overthinking the situation by keeping Hibbert on the bench. No excuse for that type of foolishness bruh! So that was a game that should have been won. However, the Pacers M.O. all season has been to play very well for 2 games and then lay an egg. So that means that they still have at least 2 eggs to lay in this series. Using new math that’s 3 “L’s” right there pimpin’ and they gotta play in Miami again tonight.

Each of the Pacers starters played a minimum of 41 minutes in Game 1 and they lost a heartbreaker where 4 Heat players accounted for 92 of the 103 points they put up! Miami got essentially no production out of Ray Allen(4 points), Norris Cole(2 points), Shane Battier(3 points) or Udonis Halsem (2 points).  Niether Mike Miller, Rashard Lewis or James Jones played bruh and they’re the sharp shooters when boyz really need a rest! That ain’t gonna happen again in this series homeboy! Once the shooters take the safety off, in my Bernie Mac voice, “It’s gonna be t-r-o-u-b-l-e!”

No way can the starters for Indiana can play 40+ minutes the entire series and their bench doesn’t give them a chance in the world of keep water out of the boat if boyz sit down for a breather.  What happens when Miami goes on one of those spurts and goes up 12 or 15 points? Indiana doesn’t have the fire power to come back. Especially if boyz are playing 40+ minutes just to keep up.

So on some real talk I still say the Heat in 5 bruh! Because losing game 1 the way the Pacers did took more out of them than boyz think. They’ll get the doors blown off of them tonight because they’re emotionally drained from running all of the “what ifs” through their heads about Game 1. Not to mention the fact that Vogel has been to every hood spot in Miami looking for his ride over the past 36 hours. Stop me when I start lyin’!  

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Follow me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn't real but it's REAL talk!

Carjacked or Given Away? (Pacers 102 Heat 103 OT)

"Next time put gas in it before you give it away homie!"

On October 1, 1975 at the Araneta Coliseum in Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines, Muhammad Ali fought Smokin’ Joe Frazier for the undisputed heavy weight championship of the world. It was called the Thrilla in Manila because Ali rhymed that it would be a “Killa and a Thrilla and a Chilla, when I get that gorilla in Manilla.” Ali won the joint with a 14^th round TKO.

Well, on Wednesday night there was a “Thrilla in Miami” playboy! Two heavy weights throwing punches all night and neither was giving up anything. There were 18 ties and 17 lead changes with the last two coming within the final 2.2 seconds in overtime before King James dropped a layup on boyz to win it at the buzzer 103-102.

Ole boy finished with a triple double in the middle of all of the madness. He put up 30 points, grabbed 10 rebounds and threw 10 dimes before going to the crib with the shakes of knowing that Indiana came to play and that they should have lost that joint.

Paul George made three free throws with 2.2 seconds remaining in overtime to go up by one. Then Pacers head man Frank Vogel had to pick his poison and he picked wrong. He decided to leave big boy Roy on the bench because of what Miami would possibly do with Bosh in that scenario.  It was like playing Russian Roulette. As he put the joint up to his temple you could hear the bullet settle into the chamber as loud as an old lady farting in line at the grocery store playa.

If you’re gonna lose make Bosh beat you bruh. The chances of him hitting a 19-footer is significantly lower than LeBron taking a boy to the rack one on one with 2.2 seconds left. Without a presence in the paint you essentially left your brand new ride running at the gas station in the middle of the ghetto as you went in to get a lottery ticket.

When you called the police and told them someone had just stolen your car. They corrected you by saying, “Nobody stole it pimpin'! You gave that joint away and we don't investigate give aways playboy! You gotta find that joint on your own.”

 Indiana had the Heat on the ropes and essentially stopped punching with 2.2 seconds left, turned their backs and got cold cocked by the best player on the planet. How in the world does the best player alive get access to the bucket without anybody picking him up? Those are the plays that win or lose championships bruh!

See, three years ago LeBron would have tried to shoot a 20-footer and it would have rimmed out. Ballgame Pacers! However, last year during the Eastern Conference Finals vs. the Celtics we saw that dun mature. He figured out right before our eyes that he was 6’8” 260 lbs. and was unstoppable one on one going to the basket when he put up 45 points and grabbed 15 boards in Game 6 to force a Game 7 to eventually get rid of Garnett and Co.

At that moment it was a wrap for the NBA because the kid had become what the old timers used to say, “A fully grown man!” Vogel let one get away from his team last night bruh and in a series like this you can’t afford to let that happen. The Pacers played too great of a game to come up empty because you left the keys in the ride with the music blasting in the projects.

Like I keep saying, it's the NBA Playoffs and you gotta win 4 of those joints to advance not just one so you can't afford to get caught sleepin' at the light, get pulled out of the joint and give it away.

Momentum is everything in a series like this. The Pacers have only won two series in NBA franchise history after dropping a Game 1! I'm just sayin' bruh! The BEST TEAM always wins the best of 7 series. Because right now the Heat are riding around Miami in Vogel's ride throwing the CD's that they don't like out of the window. So let's sit in the cut and see if he can find his whip before they strip it and have it sittin' on blocks.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!  

I Got 5 On It!

"Let's get it in!"

The O.G.’s from around my way used to say, “Hey young blood, in order to run the streets you gotta first be respected in the streets.” In the corporate world the same concept applies. In order to run the company people have to be able to trust that you know what you’re doing and that you’re leading them in the right direction. In both worlds respect is earned by doin’ work playboy!

Well it’s no different in the sports world and more specifically the NBA playoffs. Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals tips tonight in South Beach bruh. The Miami Heat vs. the Indiana Pacers in a best of 7 joint to move on into the NBA Finals. Let’s get it in!

Ima throw my chips on the table right now playa, Heat in 6! It’s a matter of formality at this point. Yeah, I live in Naptown and I cover the Pacers but I ain’t crazy playboy. Yeah, I saw the Pacers beat the brakes off of the Heat twice during the regular season by double figures at the crib to finish with a 2-1 record against them. Yeah, I know that the Pacers are the best defensive team in the league. Yeah, I saw them blow a 2-1 lead against the Heat in the Eastern Conference semi-finals last year. I get all of that pimpin’!

However, it’s the freakin’ NBA playoffs and the BEST TEAM always wins the best of 7 series. This ain’t the NCAA tournament where all you gotta do is show up and be the best team for 48 minutes and go to the crib. You gotta win 4 of those joints! That’s a problem!

The Pacers are a poor ball handling team and turnovers can often be a problem for them. They turned the joint over 19 times against the dull Knicks in Game 6 and they barely play defense! Well the Heat is the best transition team in the game. You turn that joint over and it’s going the other way with buckets without even touching the floor playboy.

You’ve seen the Heat in transition bruh! It’s ridiculous and I know you’ve seen Roy Hibbert trying to run. It’s painful to say the least. So know at the minimum you’ve got 5 on 4 on the other end of the floor just like that even if they jog that joint down. Hibbert darn near looks crippled running down the floor. Ima start calling that dun Tiny Tim. 

The Heat has the best bench in the league with shooters coming out of the bushes on boyz all night. Mike Miller, Shane Battier, Rashard Lewis, Ray Allen and James Jones can all shoot the lights out of the gym at a moment’s notice. They're just sitting on the sideline with the safety on that joint. The Pacers don’t have shooters coming off of the bench that can keep the water out of the boat in a big time playoff atmosphere. Guys like Gerald Green and DJ Augustine have to get into a rhythm before they can light it up.

 Tyler Hansbrough comes off of the bench to simply play hard, aggravate and  frustrate boyz. Nothing that he does ever shows up in the stat column.  On some real talk, who’s he gonna frustrate on the Heat? The Birdman and Udonis are both gangstas that are looking for a reason to bang with a boy. So that plays into their favor. All Hansbrough is gonna do is get his head split and wake up the monster like they did last year in the semifinals.

I know y’all remember when Lance Stephenson darn near got his collar bone tore out of the frame going to the rack when ole boy Dexter Pittman elbowed him in the throat as pay back for the choking motion he did on the bench? At that point the Heat were in the Pacers head and it was wrap. It's gonna happen again because it worked before. If it ain't broke don't fix it!  

The Pacers had the right game plan to beat them last year which was to go inside to Hibbert but the Heat forced them to play their game and big Roy became ineffective because the Pacers started trying to become 3-point shooters and be gangstas on the floor(Granger) and it's not in their DNA.  They never took advantage of the fact that Bosh was out and didn’t feed Hibbert.

Now Hibbert is gonna be forced to play19 feet from the basket because Bosh is a shooter. Hibbert has absolutely no hips and moving from side to side for him is even painful to watch. So if Roy’s playing out on the perimeter, who’s keeping the best player on the planet from taking boyz to the rack at will or posting them up all night? On second thought, in my Luniz voice, "I got 5 on it!" The Heat in 5! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Brooklyn Fire! (Knicks 99 Pacers 106)

"It's that NYC in me playboy!"

The Notorious B.I.G. stepped in the joint and said, “It was all a dream I used to read Word Up Magazine, Salt n’ Peppa and Heavy D up in the limousine, Hangin' pictures on the wall, Every Saturday Rap Attack, Mr. Magic, Marley Marl!” Then Jay-Z grabbed the mic and spit it like this, “We not in the same bracket, not in the same league, don’t shoot at the same baskets, don’t pay the same taxes, hang with the same broads, so how am I in the way, what is it I’m missing? Boy I been missing, cat I been gone! The stuff that you just witnessing I been on!” Then the DJ said, “Is Brooklyn in the house? And Lance Stephenson said, “Without a doubt!”

The Brooklyn native went to work on the hometown Knicks in game 6 to lead the Pacers to a 106-99 victory that sends them to their very first Eastern Conference final since 2004. Ole boy put up 25 points which is a career playoff high for him as the dull Knicks reluctantly put on the fishing gear and went to the crib.

Roy Hibbert blocked a Melo dunk midway through the fourth quarter that seemed to spark not only the crowd but his Pacers teammates that sent them on a 11-2 run down the stretch. Lance scored 9 of those 11 bruh! He took boyz back to the Rucker and hustled them out of jewelry, sneakers and old school food stamps that he can’t do anything with now but tell a boy that he’s got them.

The EBT joint has made it hard for street hustles in the park now days. Back in the day, cats used to get into Big Momma’s purse for a few stamps and hustle them for games at the park or in the cage in the projects depending upon where you're from pimipin'. At the end of the day you and the fellas could eat good! All the Funions, red pop and penny cookies you could handle. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

The best defensive team in the league seemed to struggle in the third quarter giving up way too many wide open jumpers and the wheels seemed to be about to fall off. Iman Shumpert got into them for five 3-pointers and J.R. Smith chipped in 15. While Melo put up 39 on these boyz he only managed 4 points in the fourth quarter bruh!

Why? Because he’s exhausted from shooting all night like I keep saying. That dun took 29 shots and by the 4^th quarter he needed a freaking IV! He didn’t score at all in the previous two games in Indy in the fourth quarter. That's called a pattern bruh! 

The Pacers not only had Lance the “Brooklyn Bomber” in double figures the entire starting 5 was taking boyz sneakers too. Paul George had 23, big boy Roy Hibbert had 21, David West had 17 and George Hill coming off of a concussion poured out 12 for all of the homies that ain’t here. That’s what you call a team effort playa!

I know that even though cats in NYC are salty about going fishing again, I know M.C. Lyte, Big Daddy Kane, The Beastie Boys and Special Ed is somewhere giving the Brooklyn homie, Lance, mad love for reppin’ the borough to the fullest! If you gotta lose then why not lose to one of your own puttin’ in work, right? Not according to Spike! As much as he loves Brooklyn he’s probably somewhere throwing up because his beloved Knicks went down and his homeboy pulled the trigger!

It’s like robbing a bank, getting away with it and Big Momma turning you in! Sometimes that’s just how it goes playboy! So now the Pacers can celebrate this joint for 24 hours before they have to stare down the barrel of the big gun bruh! The Heat are sitting in the cut waiting and on some real talk, the rest of the playoffs are just a matter of formality. It's like graduating playboy! You gotta walk because Big Momma said so. She's gotta get her pictures that she NEVER develops. Stop me when I start lyin’.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!