How Chuck Pagano ruined a perfectly good pair of corduroys on a dull 4th & 3! "Sharted"

"Yep! That's a wet one!"

As I'm walkin' out of Lucas Oil Stadium on Sunday night these three cats darn near go to blows over boyz bein' dumb! George Washington said, "If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter." Barbara Tuchman, the Pulitzer Prize winnin' author and historian, tried to get intellectually deep on a boy when she said, "Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill." Then Edward Abbey, the famous author and essayist, ripped his Colts jersey off and shouted, "One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork."

Well playas...we all witnessed some real bona fide stupidity on Sunday night! The Indianapolis Colts were down 6 points to the New England Patriots 27-21 with an entire quarter left to play. Ole Chuck Pagano is lookin' at a 4th down and 3 on his own 37 yard line and he decides to run a fake punt. Not only did he call the fake but he had these duns lined up in an illegal formation so if it would have worked it wouldn't have counted anyway. The joint blows up in their faces and Tom Brady and Co. takes over on downs and 6 plays later they're dancin' in the endzone like freakin' Usher, Michael Jackson, James and Chris Brown at a moon walk convention. The Patriots eventually moon walk out of the joint with a 34-27 victory.

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Colts played well enough to win a freakin' game that NOBODY with half a brain thought that they could win goin' into the joint, includin' me! However, once they showed up and started puttin' in work they had just as much of an opportunity to win it as the Patriots. Durin' the our pre-game broadcast of the Colts Tailgate Show on 93.1FM WIBC with my homies Tony Katz and Conrad Brunner we discussed how, if at all possible, the Colts could win this game! Bruno was like a genius when he said, "Luck has to throw the football at least 45 to 50 times, have at least 300 yards and 0 dull picks! Luck actually finished the night 30 of 50 with 312 yards, 3 TD's and no picks! He went on to say that the defensive secondary had to play well and the front 7 had to put pressure on Brady! Check! Check! And Discount double check!

I responded, "Bruno, my granny would always say, 'If, if was a fifth we'd all be drunk!'" That's like askin' for all of the candy at Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory and a couple of Umpa Lumpa's to go bruh! Well pimpin', we should be as drunk as Steve Sarkisian right now because the Colts did what they needed to do to win the game but Chuck Pagano got too cocky for his own good! 

Chuck was like the dun that finally gets a date with the finest chick in town. He can't believe that he's out with her at first. Then all of a sudden he notices that she's givin' him crazy rhythm. For all of you simple minded individuals that means that she's feelin' him bruh. She's laughin' at his stupid jokes, hangin' on every word and sittin' on the edge of her seat! HE'S GOOD I TELL YOU!!!  Now he's had the bubble guts all night because he's out with a chick that's completely out of his league so his stomach is a mess. But because she's feelin' 'em he gets cocky and decides that it's a good idea to forcibly fart. 

Now all of a sudden she gets up and bounces with the bartender because his corduroy pants are stuck to his butt and he's stinkin' like open anus! And that's the edited version! How do you get that close with a 10 and blow it? She's the one that EVERYBODY wants and you blew it because you got too comfortable and forgot who he was.

Keep in mind that this is the same team that has beaten you the last 4 times you've played them by an average of 29 points! They've completely embarrassed you in front of Big Momma, Aunt Lucy and Mae-Mae nem. Now your new girlfriend and your long lost Uncle Ruben are at the game for the first time and you decide to shart!

What blew my mind is that after the game this dun tried to explain to the media that there was a case of miscommunication! What!!???  What part of "That's a dumb gluteus maximus play" can be miscommunicated bruh ? AND THAT'S THE EDITED VERSION!! There is no explanation for even considerin' that play when you've got an entire quarter of football left to play! Stop it! You sound crazy!

All season long boyz have been arguin' back and forth as to who to blame for the foolishness inside of the Colts facility. Is it Pagano or Grigson? Well playboy, Grigson was up in his suite eatin' nachos and cleanly fartin' when ole boy ruined his corduroys. So I can't tell you who's been actin' a fool and causin' problems for this team up to this point but on Sunday night Grigson's underwear was clean. 

I'll tell you what, you can put a book mark on that fourth and three! If Pagano doesn't win 10 games this season and at least a playoff game they're gonna ship him and his corduroy pants along with the dry cleanin' bill outta here quick, fast and in a hurry because that's all the ammo they needed playboy! And don't forget to put Griff Whalen and Colt Anderson in the freakin' dry cleanin' bag too because those two decided that it made sense to snap the freakin' ball when it was 5 cats standin' over them. Stop me when I start lyin'!  

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific.
2) Pimpin': noun - the person that I'm passionately tryin' to get my point across to.

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