Clueless (Why Tom Crean is terrible and Indiana is just a middle of the road program)

"I have no idea what I'm doin bruh!
But if they keep payin' me I'm cool with that!"

Christian Nestell Bovee, the 19^th century epigrammatic writer, once said, “No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities.” Carl Sagan, the astronomer and astrophysicist, gave it to like this, “It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” Then Richard Dawkins, the English ethologist and evolutionary biologist, shut the buildin’ down with, “A delusion is something that people believe in despite a total lack of evidence.”

Well playas…it looks like ole Tom Crean is just as delusional as the Indiana faithful! After ole boy did probably the worst coachin’ job down the stretch of a ballgame that I’ve ever seen as he and the Hoosiers got knocked off by Wichita State 81-76, he was still optimistic about his future in Bloomington. This dun said that he planned for his team to “be obsessed with getting better” in the areas that plagued it this season.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! I picked Wichita State to win this ballgame bruh! So I’m not at all surprised that they beat IU. However, it’s the way that the Hoosiers lost the freakin’ game! Boyz will say that they played with a lot a heart and that they did on Friday. However, the dun that was drivin’ the freakin’ car kept makin’ wrong turns and finally wrapped the joint around a telephone pole.

With 35 ticks left on the clock this dun calls a freakin’ timeout, comes out of the break and nobody still knows what to do. As soon as Wichita State inbounds the ball he stands there and let’s like 10 seconds roll off of the clock before he starts foamin’ at the mouth for boyz to call a timeout!! They finally get it after 16 seconds expire! Now my question was, ‘What was the freakin’ timeout for if you didn’t tell these duns to foul a boy comin’ out of the freakin’ timeout?”

It was classic Crean down the stretch of games! It’s like, what was the timeout for if you didn’t tell a boy what you wanted him to do? It’s insane and that type of behavior has been goin’ on for 7 years! It’s almost like clockwork that a boy will come out of a break and be clueless as to what to do.

For him to sit in the post-game press conference and even think about the possibility of returnin’ next year is crazy to me. After 7 seasons he’s 121-111! For all of you simple minded individuals that means that he has a .521 winnin’ percentage! Not only did the Hoosiers lose their final three games of the regular season but they lost 10 of 15 down the stretch after a 5-1 start to Big Ten play. He’s only made the tournament three times in his 7 year run! It’s not an elite program bruh! Because if it were those would be fireable offenses and they should have been years ago pimpin’! 

Elite programs don’t let boyz stick around for years bein’ mediocre and that includes Bobby Knight too! Indiana hasn’t been worth two dead flies smashed since the late 1980’s. They’ve been missin’ out on the best talent in the state for the past 27 or 28 years but everybody around this piece wants to act like they don’t see the elephant in the room scratchin’ the crack of his butt! And that’s the edited version.   

Am I lyin’? Sit down playboy and check out this list of duns that grew up in the state and shot spit balls at IU, signed with other programs and went to the league: Rick Fox (UNC), Glenn Robinson (Purdue, POY), all three of the Plumlee brothers with Mason and Miles already in the league and Marshall on deck (Duke), they missed on two of the Zeller brothers, Tyler and Luke (UNC and ND), Rodney Carney (Memphis), Josh McRoberts (Duke), Zach Randolph (Michigan State), Greg Odon (OSU) Mike Conley (OSU) George Hill (IUPUI) Shawn Kemp (UK, JUCO), Sean May (UNC), Jeff and Marquis Teague (Wake Forest and UK) Courtney Lee (Western Kentucky), Eric Montross (UNC), Luke Harongody (ND), Robbie Hummel, E’Twan Moore amd JaJuan Johnson (Purdue), Gordon Hayward (Butler). Just this past year Gary Harris (Michigan State) Glenn Robinson III (Michigan) and Mitch McGary (Michigan) were drafted! I could go on but why? And I didn't even mention all of the cats that played at big time programs that didn't go to the league like Chris Thomas (ND) and Jason Gardner (Arizona)! But you think that it’s an elite program?

Here’s my diehard IU fan yellin’ from the roof top talkin’ crazy as usual, “Man most of those guys wouldn’t have even qualified to get into Indiana.” Really? It’s a state school you idiot! If they could get into the other schools I’m quite sure they could get into IU. John Thompson wasn’t turnin' boyz down at Georgetown in the ‘80’s and that was a private school pimpin’! Why? Because he was tryin' to win! So don’t give me the academics excuse because they let me in and I could barely read and I didn't play basketball! Stop it! Just stop! I’m tired of the freakin’ excuses!

If Crean is still answerin’ his company cell phone or landline by Tuesday of this week they’ve confirmed once again that it’s not an elite program and I don’t wanna hear anything else from delusional IU guy! I’m an IU grad but I’m a reasonable thinker! Indiana is a middle of the road program that typically gets middle of the road talent. Every blue moon they hit the jackpot on a boy like Victor Oladipo or Eric Gordon. But guess what pimpin’? All middle of the road programs do! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc.

2) Simple minded individuals: adjective – Hood for, “all you dumb folks out there!”

3) The edited version: That’s me tellin’ a boy that I’m tryin’ not to curse everybody out in this piece.

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!