Tradition (How Jim Harbaugh had Michigan lookin' as crazy as he does in those dull Khakis)

"Yeah bruh, y'all silly in the white pants and the dull stripe!"

While all of the fellas were gettin’ prepared to watch college football’s first night of games. I was pickin’ up some brown bag off in the hood before headin’ to the crib. As I was waitin’ for my food, these three cats started arguin’ about tradition. Jiddu Krishnamurti, the writer, speaker and philosopher, stood up and said, “Tradition becomes our security, and when the mind is secure it is in decay.” Arthur M. Schlesinger, the famous historian, grabbed his bag and said, “Science and technology revolutionize our lives, but memory, tradition and myth frame our response.” Then Winston Churchill took a cut in line and spit, “Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a shepherd. Without innovation, it is a corpse.”

Well playas…the most storied college football program in America showed up in Salt Lake City Thursday night lookin’ crazy and took its first “L” 24-17 from Utah! The famous winged helmet wasn’t accompanied by the traditional gold pants playa and in my opinion that was a problem. Jim Harbaugh tried something new on his first rip out the gate and it looked silly! Call me a sucka but the Michigan uniforms are probably the hottest joints in the country and you just don’t mess with it if it’s workin’. Duns like Oregon do that foolishness because they have to in order to recruit a boy to come to freakin’ Oregon from places like Texas and California. Michigan is freakin’ Michigan!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! To make matters worse they had a dun at quarterback that was literally playin’ for Utah. As bad as they played all night they still always had a chance to win. However, Jake Rudock kept stinkin’ joint up the joint like he had a pocket full of limburger cheese. This cat threw three picks and one for a touchdown when boyz were finally gettin’ into a rhythm.

If that’s the best quarterback Harbaugh has in Ann Arbor bruh, they’re in my Bernie Mac voice, “T-R-O-U-B-L-E.”. That dun was a composed as a freakin’ crack head in a drug raid. Naw bruh, as composed as a brother gettin’ pulled over by the police in 2015! He was makin’ mistakes that a boy shouldn’t make, like lookin’ at a receiver the entire route and then actually throwin’ the freakin’ ball out there! Ole boy was throwin’ across not only his shoulder but the hash marks too off of his back foot. Wheredeydodatat?

I was like, where did they get this dude from? Did they literally pick him up on the way to the game and just put a uniform on him? He was terrible!

"Jay! You know what you can do right?"

Now don’t get it twisted bruh, Michigan is still Michigan at the end of the day. So it won’t take long for Harbaugh to turn this joint around. Think about it, they only lost by 7 on the road with a dun that turned the rock over 3 times.

If they can somehow compose this cat and find a runnin’ game they’ll be alright. I still say that they’ll win 8 or 9 games this year but only if Rudock gets his act together or they find another dun in the depth chart. But I’ll tell you what? That kid Peppers on defense is a MONSTER!

I just need somebody to get into Harbaugh’s ear and tell him to ditch the silly white pants with the 1970’s stripe down the side. I know that his wife lets him look crazy with the khakis pants and that’s cool but Michigan is supposed to be rockin’ gold pants without a freakin’ stripe and I’m not a Michigan fan. I’m just a diehard college football fan!

The tradition is what makes the game so great! You wouldn’t wanna see Texas with the full freakin’ steer on the side of the helmet would you? You wouldn’t wanna see Penn State with white shoes and flashy uniforms would you? You wouldn’t wanna see the U with a freakin’ M on their helmet would you? OK then! I don’t wanna see Michigan with some darn white pants on with a stripe down the leg!

You wouldn’t wanna go see Prince and that dun showed up dark skinned and 6 feet tall would you? You wouldn’t wanna see the Rolling Stones and Mick Jagger showed up with a lip reduction would you? So I need somebody to holler at Harbaugh and get this straight before next week! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:   1) Brown Bag: noun – hood fast food that is given to you in a brown bag bruh. It can be chicken, fish, soul food, BBQ etc. as long as it’s in a brown bag it’s called Brown Bag playa.
2) Spit: verb – to say
3) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for, “Who does that?”
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