Warnin' Shot (How Big Momma threatened the Pacers to get back in the playoff hunt)

"You hear that dawg? Big Momma ain't playin'! Watch out!"

Henry David Thoreau once said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.” Harry Nilsson, the singer-songwriter, gave it to us like this, “I do believe that most men live lives of quiet desperation. For despair, optimism is the only practical solution. Hope is practical. Because eliminate that and it’s pretty scary. Hope at least gives you the option of living.” Then Harry Shearer, the actor and comedian, poured out a lil’ liquor for all of the dead homies when he said, “I am one of those people who thrive on deadlines, nothing brings on inspiration more readily than desperation.”

Well playas…the Indiana Pacers are as desperate as they come bruh! With boyz sittin’ just outside the playoff picture with only a hand full of games left they’re lookin’ to carjack anybody that isn’t payin’ attention right now. On Friday night as the city was gearin’ up for a ridiculous weekend of hoop with the Final Four in town. Boyz saw the Charlotte Hornets pull in town with the freakin’ windows down, doors unlocked and cruisin’ around hollerin’ at broads instead of keepin’ their heads on a swivel. The Pacers caught them at the light sleepin’ 93-74 to move into the 9^th spot behind both Miami and Boston who are tied for the 8^th.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Like Puffy used to say when Bad Boy was bangin’ in the mid ‘90’s, “It real in the field!” Every game counts and boyz can’t afford to be sleepin’ at the wheel like the Pacers did this week. They went out to both Brooklyn and Boston and got caught day dreamin’ in the freakin’ park. Now both of those teams are just ahead of them in the playoff picture.

On Friday night they were able to catch a boy violatin’ the first law in the Hood Survival Code written 100 years ago bruh! “ALWAYS KEEP YOUR HEAD ON A SWIVEL PLAYA!” The Hornets got caught watchin’ the eye candy downtown and forget that they had a game to play. Rodney Stuckey ran up on the driver side door and hit a boy up for 15. Then both of the C.J.’s, Watson and Miles, took care of the duns in the passenger seat and in the back seat, even the cat sittin’ on the dull hump, with 13 and 12 points respectively.

They held the Hornets to only 35 percent shootin’ from the field and 22 percent from 3-point after allowin’ a boy to unload in the first quarter at 50 percent from both the field and behind the arc. Ole Frank had boyz tighten up the grip the remainin’ three quarters holdin’ Charlotte to only 74 points, which is the lowest opponent point total of the season for the Blue and Gold. The wheels had seemed to have fallen off here lately because they have given up at least 100 points in 8 of their previous 10 games. So to hold a boy to 74 points means that Big Momma must have cursed up one side of a dun and down the other before the game started.

She’s in town for the Final Four and figured she’d check you out too. She just bought a brand new patent leather purse already pre-filled with peppermints with some dull patent leather shoes to match. Ole girl walked into the locker room with those tight “A” knee highs squeezin’ her calf’s so she’s already pissed. In her Aunt Ester voice, “Look her you fish eyed fool! I’m in town for the Final Four and I figured I’d come through and check you out too! Don’t make me pull this pistol out of my purse tonight!”

The game got so out of hand that I hooked up with the fellas!

At the end of the first quarter when the Hornets were up 25-22 shootin’ 50 percent all you heard was a gun shot in the air! Big Momma was not playin’ bruh! Boyz ducked and then the Pacers kicked it into gear because she doesn’t make threats, she makes promises pimpin’!

So now Miami rolls into town on Easter Sunday and you already know that the old playas will be out lookin’ like Dolemite with the dull purple suits with the hat, canes and shoes to match. The fashion police will be in full effect givin’ out $250 fines to these idiots that you’ve got to fight in the parkin’ lot if you told them they weren’t clean. Beat the Heat and boyz can get right back in the thick of the playoff race! Stop me when I start lyin’ and pop this link to get all of the behind the scenes video footage of the game with Ya Boy in "Pacers Cred!"

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Broads: noun – women
2) Head on a swivel: verb phrase – to be on the look-out for a potential cat that’s lookin’ to rob you.
3) Puffy: noun – short for Puff Daddy, that’s before the Notorious B.I. G. died in ’97 and he started callin’ himself P. Diddy, Diddy, Diddy Dirty Money etc., etc., etc. Just call that dun Money and we’re cool.
4) Sleepin’ at the wheel: To not pay attention to what is in front of them and get caught by surprised and robbed.
5) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc.
6) Dull: adjective: to be shameful or disgusting to the point where when I say it I’m shakin’ my head in disgust as well.
7) Hump: noun – to the bump in the middle of the seat in old school cars that nobody wanted to sit on when you were a kid. There is another word that boyz used for it but it isn’t appropriate for this audience. LOL!!
8) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
9) Dolemite: noun – an ole school pimp movie released in 1975 starrin’ Rudy Rae Moore. It was one of the Blaxploitation films that was popular durin’ that time period playa.
Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!