Scarface (How Warren Sapp tried to pull a Larry Flynt on Pee Wee Herman's budget)

"You right dawg! I need to stay away from these Super Bowls!"

Thomas Szasz, the famous psychiatrist, once said, “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. Marcus Tullius Cicero, the ancient Roman philosopher, spit some fire when he said, “The wise are instructed by reason, average minds by experience, the stupid by necessity and the brute by instinct.” Then Gustave Flaubert, the 19^th century French writer, shut the buildin’ down with, “To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking all is lost.”

Well playboy…it looks like ole Warren Sapp was definitely stupid, selfish and obviously in good enough health to call a couple of prostitutes while he was in Phoenix workin’ for the NFL Network durin’ the massive coverage of the Super Bowl. This dun gets into a fight with the broads to the point where they have to call the police on this fool and guess what playa? Now ole Warren is out of a job this mornin’!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! I’ve been around the block too many times and have been around too many famous cats not to understand that that’s what cats do. Victor Sweet said it best in the movie Four Brothers, “I paid for out of town shooters! What I get? In town shooters! You don’t pay a broad to love you, you pay her to leave!” And that’s the edited version! So I get why some of these cats go that route! It makes no sense to me but I get it.

Some cats do stuff just because bruh! And that’s the edited version again playa. They don’t think things through! They just pop off of instinct like wild animals even when they know they’re wrong and could lose everything. Like ole dull Greg Anthony gettin’ caught up solicitin’ a prostitute. Like he just called the poster out in front of the hotel. “Call LaQueeeeesha if you wanna have a good time!”

If you’re gonna do some illegal foolishness at least deal with the same folks every time you’re in town. Don’t call some random broad and get clipped because you were freakin’ anxious. Again, I don’t agree with this foolishness but I’m just sayin’ that if you’re gonna be stupid at least have a plan.

However, Warren didn’t get clipped because he solicited the broads! He got popped because he was arguin’ and fightin’ with them over payin’ the freakin’ bill! Wheredeydodatat? He literally got into a fight with the chicks about how much it was gonna cost.

Let me put it where the goats can get it bruh. Ole Warren got in there and started doin’ the wild cowboy type stuff and the meter went up without him realizin’ it. That dun started doin’ some Larry Flynt type joints on a boy and he had only budgeted to pay on a Pee Wee Herman type scale. When they pulled up at their destination they were like, “Hey big playa, it was originally gonna cost you $1200 but you’re up to 3 stacks now!” And Warren snapped! “What??!!! You M#@%&$ F#$@^&% tryin’ ta rob me? I ain’t payin’ %*!@!” And it was on because ole boy reverted back to the hood and forgot that he was that dude on TV makin’ 500 stacks a year for workin’ 6 months! 

Can you imagine gettin' off of the elevator and seein' that dun in my Bernie Mac voice, "Bucket Naked" wrestlin' with two broads over his wallet breathin' hard and sweatin' like bullfrog! 

Now here’s the problem playboy! This is the same cat that filed for bankruptcy in 2012. He owed at the time $6.7 million to creditors, back child support and alimony accordin’ to the Chapter 7 bankruptcy filing in Florida. Now he only had $6.45 million in assets bruh! Now included in those assets where, get this playa, 240 pairs of Jordan’s worth almost $6,500, a $2,250 watch and a lion skin rug worth $1,200. I can’t make this up bruh! A lion skin rug? That dun has been watchin’ way too much Scarface.

So if they’ve taken a boy’s Jordan’s away from him then you know that he’s doin’ bad! So the 500 stacks he was makin’ with NFL Network was keepin’ him afloat. He could have parlayed that gig into retirement or until some he found something else to do. He's a freakin' Hall of Famer for cryin' out loud! He and the fellas were great on that show.

But this fool literally put a match to his cushy job and burned it up because he didn’t wanna pay full price. It’s like a boy that goes to a high end restaurant and starts askin’ a boy how much the lobster is because it says MP; or the dun that goes into the shoe store and turns the shoes over to look at the price. If you gotta ask or look then you don’t need to be in there playa.

Hey Warren? Don’t call the broads if you’re on a budget. Pull a Tiger Woods and hook up with the low end waitress type joints but don’t pull a complete Tiger because that dun wouldn’t pay the basic “go get your hair and nails done” bread to keep her from puttin’ him on blast.

Hey didn’t ole Warren get arrested and sent home from Super Bowl XLIV in Miami in 2010 on a domestic violence charge? Sounds like that dun needs to stop goin’ to the Super Bowl. I swear these cats out here drive me nuts and stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit some fire: verb phrase – to say something of importance.
2) Dun: noun – the person in question when you’re disgusted at how stupid they are, dude, guy, etc.
3) Clipped and Popped: verb – to get arrested
4) Wheredeydodatat?: Who does that?
5) Let me put it where the goats can get it.: To make it simple and plain. To lay it out on the ground i.e. goats eat off of the ground.
6) A boy: noun – the other person we’re talkin’ about. The second individual in the conversation.
7) Stacks: noun – a thousand dollars, a grand
Holla At Ya Boy!
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