Feenin' (How the NBA turned boyz into junkies on Christmas Day)

"You got my bread bruh?"

Walt Disney once said, “I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn’t know how to get along without it.” Howard Cosell gave it to us like this, “The ultimate victory in competition is derived from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best and that you have gotten the most out of what you had to give.” Then Indira Gandhi, the third prime-minister of India, poured out a lil’ liquor for all the dead homies with, “There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.”

Well playas…on Christmas day there was more competition in the first group than there normally is. Why? Because the NBA was loaded up like a gat in the ghetto bruh! Games started at noon eastern and boyz rode until well after midnight. All of the real basketball heads were like crack-heads in the ghetto, meth-heads in rural America and coke-heads in the suburbs playboy. I know you didn’t think I was just gonna blast the hood and not go at boyz out in the sticks and burbs for doin’ the same thing did you?

Duns got up, opened presents, said their wassups and hit the man cave like Howard Hughes. Boyz were shut off in that room all day slippin’ food under the door and fillin’ up bottles in order not to miss a single dribble.

First up the Wizards and the ole dull Knicks. The John Wall and Co. sprinted through those duns at the Garden 102-91 and took some of Big Momma’s sweet potato pie in the process. It got so bad that Quincy Acy went old school on a boy and started tryin’ to squab because John Wall was embarrassin’ he and his boyz in front of Pookie nem. You know how a boy does when all else fails, he resorts to fightin’! “Man so what dawg! I’ll kick yo “A!” And there it is and they end up escortin’ that dun off of the floor on national televison. He took the “L”, looked like a fool in the process and still got cursed out by Big Momma when he came over for dinner.

OKC and San Antonio sprinted up and down the floor like a tennis match bruh. It’s always good to see boyz puttin’ in work on both ends of the floor and the athleticism of Young Russ is ridiculous. If there is a more athletic cat in the league show him to me playa. The Thunder held ole Tim and Pop, out there lookin’ like Santa Claus, at bay and went to the crib with a 114-106 win.

At this point in the day I’ve eaten twice and boyz are now checkin’ my pulse because I haven’t been seen since the “Wassups” earlier in the day. Don’t look at me funny playboy we were together. We just weren’t at the same crib! Stop it!

Now I’m mentally on South Beach with D. Wade and LeBron nem. The Cavs show up with Napoleon but boyz showed him love because they were supposed to. He helped them go to four straight Finals and win two championships so they owed him that much. Now I did see D. Wade pull than dun to the side about mid-way through the second quarter and ask him “Where’s my $11 million you hustled me out of bruh?” You know real cats aren’t gonna let a boy show up and not ask a boy where his bread is. We’re cool but I need my bread.

On some real talk though, I know you saw him playfully tell LeBron goin’ into the break, “I’m gettin’ in yo “A!” I know you saw that pimpin’! Great TV and that’s what it’s all about. The Heat ended up finishin’ them off to send them on their way 101-91.

Next I find myself in the Chi and at the same time I’m passin’ another plate under the door and tellin’ boyz to stop checkin’ on me. As long as I’m eatin’ and drinkin’ fluids don’t bother me. Don’t call me I’ll call you. The Lakers show up in the city and Kobe pulls an “I’m sore” on all the kids that got tickets to see him play on Christmas. He was the Grinch with that ole dull Sydney Poitier extra tight red jacket on lookin’ like “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” up in that piece. While he was over there lookin’ like Isaac from the Love Boat servin’ drinks his boyz were gettin’ head butted 113-93.

At this point I’m straight up delirious and things are goin’ in and out. I’m dreamin’ that I’m in LA but I’m not really sure. I think I see the Warriors gettin’ drug up and down the floor by the Clip Joint but it doesn’t make sense. I see it but the gumbo’s talkin’, the ribs are screamin’ and the turkey and dressin’ are yellin’ that those dishes don’t go together but you ate them any way. So I’m trippin’ right? Wrong bruh! Because CP3 and Jamal Crawford are pealin’ these boyz heads back with 22 and 24 points respectfully as they run out of the joint with a 100-86 win.

Now the games are over and I’m a shell of myself but the old school cats in the house wanna throw bones and talk crazy and just down the hall boyz are playin’ gin and fightin’! You already know boyz can't play cards without fightin' even on the holiday.  Man it was a good Christmas! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!

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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!