Weeds (How Ray Rice made the situation worse & now Stephen A's fired up)

Hey Ray! You still in there bruh? "Yeah!"

Gustave Flaubert, the 19^th century French writer widely known as the greatest novelist in Western literature, once said, “To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.” John Wayne pulled up in a brand new whip with the seat leaned back and said, “Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.” Then Marcus Tullius Cicero, the ancient Roman philosopher, shut the buildin’ down with, “The wise are instructed by reason, average minds by experience, the stupid by necessity and the brute instinct.”

Ole dull Ray Rice showed the world just how stupid he really was on Thursday. This dun held a press conference to address the domestic abuse situation out of what he thought was necessity and operated out of brute instinct. As soon as he started the joint with prepared notes he got nervous and said, “Let me put these away.”

When he said that he drove right off of the road and into the freakin’ weeds. You know duns in the PR department were standin’ to the side like, “This mother’s favorite!” And that’s the edited version playboy. Whoever is in charge of the Ravens PR should be fired on the spot bruh for puttin’ that dun in front of the cameras in the first place. Why? Because if he wanted to address the situation just put out a statement and keep it movin’!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! This dun meant well but in the process he made the situation even worse for himself, the NFL and the Ravens. I applaud him for ownin’ it and makin’ a public apology. Just tell the world that you’re goin’ to be a better man because of this situation and then sit yo butt down! And that’s the edited version.

Then he pulls out the freakin’ shovel and starts diggin’. What happened in that elevator has been a mystery to everybody but the police and Roger Goodell. We do know that both he and his girl were charged with assault. That’s why Stephen A. Smith made the comments about situations of provocation that really took the heat off of this dun. For the past week the world forgot about Ray and started hatin’ Stephen A.

With the two game suspension and a fine he had gotten away easy and the world was about to move on. Why? Because boyz had moved on to Stephen A. and you know somebody else was primed to do something else stupid. This dun had gotten away with one of the biggest bank robberies in history and he went back into the joint a week later to get change for a twenty. 

Now the hate for Ray Rice starts all over again. He just gave the freakin’ story some HGH, cocaine and caffeine and every time it comes up to bat it’s hittin’ homeruns for the next two weeks. And who was the clown in the PR department that thought that it was a good idea to have the press conference at all? And…if you were gonna have it why would you do it on a Thursday at noon? Now the media can chew this cat, the NFL and the Ravens up all day Friday! PR 101 tells you to have it on Friday at 4pm so that it get’s lost over the weekend because ten things will happen by Monday.

I know Roger Goodell was sittin’ in his office eatin’ and saw that foolishness and couldn’t get his pants on fast enough. You know he’s was pullin’ a Sam Rothstein by takin’ his joints off when he sits down to keep them from gettin’ wrinkled. He was like, “What the….! This dumb bleep, bleep, bleep!We on to somethin' else bruh! Now we gotta go to Baltimore and cuss these duns out!”

By puttin’ his notes in his pocket Ray pulled the duct tape off of the hairy irritated leg. As he tries to protect his wife’s reputation by sayin’ that she did no wrong and that she’s an angel. Now he makes himself look like a complete MONSTER. If your wife did no wrong, she’s an angel and great mother then why were you draggin’ her out of the freakin’ elevator unconscious playboy?

"Ima go off of the dome bruh. I got it!"

In the process of tryin’ to do the right thing he made it worse! And Stephen A.’s at the crib in his draws and for lack of a better word a “wife beater” cursin’ like a sailor because Ray cost him a week's pay. He’s trippin’ over pizza boxes and empty bottles like Howard Hughes when he wouldn’t let anybody in the crib. Stephen A.’s been held up for three days pissed and now this fool Ray tries to comes clean on a lie. Y’all will catch that one later.

If he would have said that his wife did absolutely nothin’ wrong from jump the speculation of provocation based on the evidence of the both of them throwin’ hands in the elevator never comes up. Stephen A. could have saved that strike pimpin’. Remember that he’s already been suspended/fired once before from ESPN. So know that dun’s lookin’ at a third strike the next time they don’t agree with something that he says.

So guess what? He’s like D. Rose and Kobe at this point. He’s gotta settle for jumpers. He can no longer take a boy to the rack off the dribble. Why? Because he can’t afford to risk injury. Skip Bayless is about to give that dun the business everyday now because all you’re ever gonna get from him is the politically correct joints from now on.

Either Olivia Pope must have been on vacation this week or she was hittin’ boyz for way too much bread. So they went and got her brother Darnell “Pee Wee” Pope that just got out of prison for bank robbery, wire fraud and stealin’ the underground sprinkler pipe at the Super Bowl. Because no way does anybody with half a brain put Ray Rice in front of the press months after the incident happened and the punishment has already been handed out.

Now you have completely disrupted trainin’ camp and for what? The situation was in the rearview mirror and more than anything it’s a personal matter that should be handled by Ray and his wife. Now the whole team will be asked about what they think of Ray ownin’ it etc, for the next three or four days. And every women's advocacy group known to man is gonna be sittin' in the NFL's driveway.  

Now they've got to appease all of the folks/fans that are outraged by what this fool said yesterday. The league saw the tape and they know what happened but now they’ve got to do more to get out from under the fire storm that Ray created when he drove into the weeds blind folded with his hands tied behind his back. So in my Huggy Lowdown voice, “The PR Director for the Baltimore Ravens and Ray Rice you are the Bama of the week, week, week!” Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!

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