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| "Yeah we beat these duns but they still packin' my stuff up bruh!" |
Well playas...that all sounds good if we were tryin' to motivate a boy to do something that he had control of but we're talkin' about the Indianapolis Colts makin' the freakin' playoffs. In my Jim Mora voice, "Playoffs! Don't talk about playoffs! Are you kiddin' me! Playoffs!" After the Colts went down to Miami and beat the dull Dolphins 18-12 boyz are tryin' to figure out all of the possible scenarios for them makin' the playoffs now.
Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Yeah, technically they still have a shot on paper but it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE for these duns to make the playoffs buh. All of the diehard and delusional fans sleepin' in Colts gear are holdin' on for dear life that they can make it. But rational human beings are on to hoop season around this piece bruh. Go Pacers! To make the Eastern Conference Finals! Right? Just bein' realistic playboy.
Because the Colts are sittin' at 7-8 and the dull Texans are 8-7 after they both won on Sunday there's still a bunch of foolishness that has to take place in order for them to get in. First of all, Denver has to beat Cincinnati on Monday Night Football. Then next week the Colts have to beat the Titans and the Texans have to lose!
It doesn't stop there pimpin' because both the Colts and Texans would both be 8-8. You've gone through all of the freakin' tiebreakers so now you're down to the strength of victory whatever that means playa. What they tell me is that dull Miami has to beat New England, Atlanta's gotta beat New Orleans, the Ravens gotta beat the Bengals, the Raiders gotta beat the Chiefs and the Broncos gotta beat the darn Chargers. And did I mention that 164 year old Matt Hasselbeck got hurt so Charlie Whitehurst is holdin' the fort down now? Oh and some dun named Stephen Morris could potentially be takin' snaps if Whitehurst goes down like the first two quarterback. "Playoffs! Don't talk about playoffs!"
You may as well tell a boy that in order for him to get into VIP at the club that Pookie's gotta break into Debo's house, steal his underwear and his raggedy "A" house shoes. Rob the crack house, sell all of the dope to the undercover cop, take his cell phone, tie him up and leave town with his wife. Marry his sister and retire to Costa Rica by age 25. Oh, and have dinner with the president on the front lawn twice.
The Colts ain't makin' the playoffs pimpin'! Believe that. Tell these boyz that they've got all week to pack up their stuff. And that's the edited version. By next Sunday all belongings should be cleaned out. Then by next Monday you might wanna say your goodbyes to ole Chuck because they'll have security escortin' that dun off of the premises. Now does he deserve to get walked out of the joint? Not at all! Why? Because he was just in the house when it burned down bruh. Grigson was the dun that fell asleep with the cigarette in his mouth. But that's just how it goes.
So all of the diehard Colts fans runnin' around lookin' for a motivational speech. You ain't gone get one from me playa. It is what it is. Just look forward to 2016 and hope that Luck is healthy and they sign a backup that isn't 154 years old. Stop me when I start lyin'!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!
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