 |
| "He's a lot better than we thought he was bruh!" |
Chet Atkins, the inventor of the Nashville sound, once said, “Once you become predictable, no one’s interested anymore.” Sid Waddell gave it to us like this, “He’s about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.” Then Alfred Montapert, the author of the book entitled The Supreme Philosophy of Man, told us what we already knew playboy when he said, “Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to.”
Every one of those duns just described the Georgia Bulldogs to the letter. I’ve been telling boyz for years that Georgia is Mark Richt’s Georgia and in big ball games they usually show up overrated and fall apart! The No.5 Bulldogs showed up in Death Valley on Saturday night and Tajh Boyd and Co. were hiding in the bushes or better yet in 3 buses as they drove around the freakin’ stadium to touch Howard’s Rock. So it ain't like they snuck up on them.
They let those duns hang around long enough to set up the carjacking late in the 3rd quarter when Chandler Catanzaro connected on a 24 yard field goal to go ahead 31-28 and they never looked back to pull the upset 38-35. Well… upset my foot! Anybody that knows college football saw that coming even before those duns got on the bus in Athens. Georgia is like the school yard bully that only messes with the little kids.
He’s the cat that pushes the 1st, 2nd and 3rd graders around but when it’s time to holler at their older brothers on the bus ride home he gets tore out of the frame every time. Tajh Boyd went to work on them boyz in the back of the bus scoring 3 by air and two by land! I swear I heard ole Paul Revere galloping down the hill with Howard's Rock in is hand hollerin', "I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen!"
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! These ole dull media cats keep drinking the Kool Aid that says just because your helmet has an SEC sticker on the back of it means that you belong in the top 10. Let me say it again so we can put it to rest, the SEC is top heavy! They normally have the top 3 teams in the country every year in Alabama, LSU and Florida. However, over the last few years Florida hasn’t been all that great but they are one of their top teams. Georgia an illusion bruh! Always have been.
Stop selling boyz fallacies out here! For you cats that don’t know what a fallacy is let me break it down for you. A fallacy is something that is true but not necessarily true! For example, boyz that live in the projects steal! Johnny lives in the projects, therefore he steals!
So quit telling me that the SEC has won 7 straight national championships! Therefore, if a team is in the SEC they are better than the rest of the world. Let’s talk turkey, the 7 straight breaks down like this, Alabama has won 3, Florida 2, LSU 1 and the ole dull Auburn Cam Newton’s won 1! If Auburn was so good why was Gene Chizik fired just two years after Cam left? Because he was horrible when they hired him from Iowa State where he was 5-19 the year before!
There are 14 freakin’ teams in the SEC not 3 playa! What kills me in that duns at the bottom of the conference have the unmitigated gall to holler SEC! Sip on this for a minute patna, boyz from Alabama don’t scream SEC! They scream Roll Tide! It’s only the catfish that are talking trash about being in the SEC! All you hear are clowns from Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Arkansas, Tennessee, Ole Miss, Mississippi State, Georgia, South Carolina, Missouri and Texas A&M that haven’t won jack squat making all of the freakin’ noise.
Auburn hadn’t won anything since 1957 until Cam Newton showed up and on some real talk he could have won a title anywhere as good as he was. Even when Bo Jackson was there they didn’t win anything playboy! Georgia hasn’t won a national title since Hershel Walker was a freshman in 1980! So let’s not start the season with this foolishness again! Alabama is the best team in the land and will probably win their 3rd straight national title and I think boyz around the country will agree with that but don’t try to sell us those other duns.
Like the argument, “Our 5th or 6th best team can beat the other conferences best teams.” Oh yeah pimp? I saw an Oklahoma State team that was 8-5 last year in the Big 12 beat the breaks off of Mississippi State last night 21-3. I watched a TCU team that got baptized in the Big 12 last year go toe to toe with LSU only to fall short in a 37-27 Battle Royale. And don't even talk to me about Florida struggling with dull Toledo and only putting up 24 points at the crib. They're still trying to get over that Teddy Bridgewater & Co. beat down they took in the Sugar Bowl!
It’s like going into the store to buy the new Jordan’s and then the cat starts hitting you up for all of the ancillary products. “Hey dawg you gotta get the different color strings, the new insoles to make them feel better and the shoe cleaner.” Like a good old toothbrush, soap and water doesn’t work anymore. We can all agree that Beyoncé and Halle Berry are two of the baddest thangs walking around but now you’re trying to tell us that their cousins are automatically bad too just because they’re related to them. Sell that to the dun that can’t see.
I’m not being a hater of the SEC at all. I’m just being an intelligent human being that isn’t up for the Oakey Doke this year. Call it like it is and we’re cool. Don’t tell me that Georgia, Florida and South Carolina are top 10 ball clubs because they aren’t. Stop giving duns hall passes to play in the bathroom. Stop grouping boyz together because they’ve got the same daddy. Just because SEC is on the birth certificate doesn’t automatically put them in the front of the line unless it’s Alabama. This ain’t the royal monarchy bruh! You don't just get born into the championship class because of that sticker. Now that we’ve gotten that foolishness out of the way, we should be able to enjoy the rest of the season. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @ jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!
No comments:
Post a Comment