Enhancements (Braun, the writers & fans are fake!)

"What do you want me to say pimpin'? I'm sorry I got caught!"

Winston Churchill once said, “The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, but in the end, there it is.” Mark Twain turned that new Jay-Z down as he pulled up to say, “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” Then Buddha stepped in the joint with some purple gators on and said, “There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.”

On Thursday ole dull Ryan Braun finally admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs during his NL MVP season of 2011. He gave the same jacked up story that all of these duns give; that he took a cream and a lozenge containing banned substances while rehabbing an injury. “It was a huge mistake for which I am deeply ashamed and I compounded the situation by not admitting my mistakes immediately.”

Stop it! Just stop it bruh! If you gone be bout it! Then be bout it! Don’t apologize in a statement and then keep lying to boyz. Just say it playboy. If you're gonna be a No Limit Soldier then ride or die. All the real G’s just want you to say, “I took them joints because I wanted to compete with the rest of these duns taking PED’s. If I hadn’t taken them I never would have been as good as I was."

Don’t tell me that you were rehabbing and you took some junk to get better faster. All of these cats are taking this stuff to compete. It’s just like track and field! If you get down in the blocks and the other 6 to 7 duns are doping and you aren’t, then you’re about to get the break beat off of you. So you start taking what the other cats were taking just to be able to compete or in MLB to get that major bread. It’s the difference between making $20 million and making $100 million. Is it right? Absolutely not! Is it real talk? Absolutely!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! I’m sick of all of these dull sports writers and fans that are out here thinking that ole boy owes them a more sincere apology for using drugs. I’m hearing boyz saying that he needs to be more specific or that I’m a fan and that he owes me more than that because he ruined the game. What?

First of all, you already know why he took the freakin’ drugs so stop actin’ brand new! Secondly, he owes you absolutely nothing and what game are you watching that he ruined. As a fan you got what you paid for when you bought a ticket to see him play. You saw him hit home runs and wins games. Therefore, you paid to be entertained and in my Marcus Aurelius voice, “Are you not entertained?”

That’s like some cat going to the strip club, sitting down with the fellas and then storming out of the joint highly pissed because the chick on stage has enhancements. He’s got, in my Grinch that stole Christmas voice, “the unmitigated gall to be upset!” Hollerin’ and screamin’ in the parking lot that she’s cheating. That’s the only reason that you paid to get into the joint! So why are you trippin’ if that’s what you paid to see? 

These folks kill me acting like they didn’t know the game of baseball was full of cats doing everything to get a competitive edge. Boyz have been cheating since the beginning of time. If not by using pine tar, corking the freakin’ bat and taking PED’s, cheating is cheating playboy. Just like sin is sin! Don’t act like Ryan Braun is the worse human being alive when you’re at work stealing time by reading this joint right now.

Don’t act like Braun robbed a bank when you sneak in or out of work without clocking in or out daily. Don’t look at this dun sideways when you knocked 45 minutes off of your road trip by speeding for 10 hours. Don’t get upset because you paid to see a boy do exactly what you expected for him to do and you enjoyed every freakin’ minute of it. Stop it! Just stop it!

Everybody including MLB’s momma knows that dirty players sell tickets. Are any of us going be mad when Usain Bolt comes up dirty? This cat is running 9.58’s and pulling up 20 meters from the finish line bruh and I’m enjoying every minute of it. But you and I both know that dun is dirty.

How many boyz wanted a refund when Sosa and McGuire were going at it? How many folks were up in arms when hat size and shoe size changing Barry Bonds was blasting boyz into the cove every night? Nobody! Why? Because you were entertained!

The only reason Braun or any other cat is apologizing for using drugs is because they got caught. It’s like the Joe that gets caught out somewhere with his mistress/sidepiece or whatever you wanna call it and then runs home to apologize to the Mrs. He ain’t sorry for cheating, he’s sorry that she found out. Stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!

Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!