Drownin' (Manziel flunks the hood test)

Broker: "Hey Johnny can I take a picture of you doing something illegal? Johnny: "Sure!"

Johnny Carson once said, “I was so naïve as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.” Tia Carrere, the famous actress, gave it to us like this, “I had been gullible, naïve soft, pliable. That’s why I got taken advantage of. To survive, you have to have a tough skin.” Then Steve Brown kicked his feet up on the table and said, “Too many people get lost in the game of having a good time and being naïve about things.”

You hear boyz say all of the time, “He ain’t bout that life!” Most cats have no idea what that means but it sounds good. In a nut shell it means to stay in your lane playboy before you get hurt out here trying to front. In order to move with gangstas you’ve got to have a Bachelor’s Degree in Hoodology or Survival at the very least. It won’t hurt to have a Master’s in Ghettoisms but you can slide without it if you grew up with some real G’s.

Johnny Football thought that being a rich kid with a Heisman Trophy gave him permission to step out of his lane. Now some East Coast autograph broker has told ESPN that ole boy was paid $7,500 for signing approximately 300 mini- and full-sized helmets back in January in Miami when he was in town for the BCS National Championship.

This broker cat even tried to a sell a 9 minute video to ESPN of Johnny signing the joints. However, ESPN told him to kick rocks but they did watch it. Now the tape didn’t show any money changing hands though. The crazy thing is, Johnny freakin’ Football had no idea that he was being video tapped.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! If you’re a rich kid that grows up in the suburbs you know absolutely nothing about that life even if you think that you do. Listening to rap music and listening to your teammates from the ghetto isn’t like taking the G.E.D. and now you’re good. Why? Because you can learn the lingo and sometimes that will even get you into trouble. Just ask ole Riley Cooper about that!

You can also learn how to dress and talk like you’re straight out of the ghetto but you can’t learn the most important attribute of being from the hood, ghetto instincts. They only come from growing up in it. They are what the experts call experienced based only, pimpin’.

Johnny tried to act like a Don by running out getting some body guards and a personal assistant and none of those duns knew the game. First of all, you don’t show up at some cat’s hotel room that you don’t know or let him come to your joint. Secondly, if you do hook up with this cat your body guards are supposed to jam him up, pat him down and take everything from him except for the merchandise you’re about to sign.

That means his wallet, cell phone, shoes, watch, hat, backpack and clothes. That dun would be standing in there butt naked like he was working for Nino Brown. The only cat that can come in is the broker himself. His boyz have to wait in the lobby. If he doesn’t want to flow like that he can find somebody else to sign those joints. The broker has to be told that if he moves during the signing that he would get knocked out. So don’t even sneeze because you’re going down and we’ll tell the police that you tried to rob us.

That’s what ghetto instincts teach you because over the years you’ve seen or heard of enough drug deals go bad that you understand what a boy may try to do to you. Sure, this ain’t drugs but it is illegal so the same rules apply. Who did this cat hire as his body guards, Tom and Jerry? Because they flunked the hood test and violated every protection law known to man!

However, when you’re loaded and think you understand how the world works you get set up by some punk broker with a cell phone because you didn’t take care of him. How do I know you didn’t take care of him? Because he snitches on you by trying to sell a video that ESPN wouldn’t buy. He probably wanted Johnny to sign some more memorabilia and he dissed him. So here comes the video and the call to ESPN thinking that he’s gonna get paid regardless and it backfired on him too because he ain’t bout that life either.

See it’s always better to stay in your lane and just listen to rap music and boyz from the ghetto than to jump into the pool with them. On some real talk, everybody in the pool can’t swim either and every now and then they find some dun at the bottom because he wouldn’t listen. That’s Johnny!! Stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!

Holla At ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!