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Mark Twain once said, “Laws control the lesser man…Right conduct controls the greater one.” Big Momma said, “If you go out in public and act a fool, Ima come out there and act a fool on you.” My old man would always ask the question with his hand on his belt buckle, “You need some help understanding what I’m saying bruh?”
On Friday some Florida International Football players were working out on Crandon Park Beach in Key Biscayne, Fl., about 20 miles east of FIU’s campus. After the workout some of the players went to rinse off at a designated PUBLIC shower on the beach and a few duns got, in my Bernie Mac voice, “buck-et naked” and changed their clothes. Well, as you can imagine the police were called. While no charges were filed and none are expected to be, it was still embarrassing to the university and the coaching staff.
Head coach Ron Turner had to issue a dull apology and you know he was fightin' mad for having to do it too. A couple of weeks ago I wrote a Hot Joint entitled, “Real Coaches Real Life” that jumped all over these dull cats in the media for trying to blame Urban Myer for the behavior of Aaron Hernandez because he’d been given 2nd and 3rd chances. Now they went in on Urban and left ole Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick alone even after they drafted that dun in the 4th round because everybody else passed on him because they knew he was a fool. But let’s just keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st, Hernandez was responsible for himself playboy.
Like I said in that joint, coaches sign up to coach but real life keeps getting in the way. Student-athletes are gonna to act a fool on you regardless because they’re kids. To what degree? That depends on the kid. Here’s the difference between FIU and places like Alabama. They’ve got the same amount of fools on the team but the major difference is that duns like Nick Saban has the entire state on lock down.
That means that if one of his players acts a fool somewhere the first call is to him or his staff and not the police or when the police is called they know what to do next. Take them straight to Nick's crib! Oh yeah playa, don’t think for one minute that boyz ain’t wearing clown shoes in Tuscaloosa too. After winning 3 out of the last 4 national championships with cats that are between the ages of 18-22 years old on campus? Please! “Them mugs got on the full make up and costumes bruh.” They're just giving private shows.
I bet ole Nick has a Bat Cave entrance at his crib for the police to pull into in the middle of the night to after getting picked up. Cuz you know they getting’ picked up! It’s either at his house or his assistant head coach’s crib, better known as the dean of players. It’s just a fancy promotion for being chosen as the dun that has to keep these dunss in check. So if a boy tells you that he’s the assistant head coach he just drew the short stick to handle all of the problems like boyz stripping at the beach on a Friday. It is what it is and you gotta deal with it.
I know one thing, coach Turner probably had on his Big Momma stockings with those diabetic velcro shoes and patent leather purse filled with peppermint when those cats showed back up to the facility last night. I know he cursed them up one wall and slid down the other just like Big Momma and the assistant head coach was just holding his belt buckle as Turner went nuts because he’s already called the graduate assistant to have those duns on “Dawn Patrol” for the next 2 weeks.
For all of y’all that don’t know, Dawn Patrol is having to get up at 5am or sometimes even earlier depending upon how crazy your coach is, to run your guts out. Trust me, nobody wants to hear the words Dawn Patrol and their name in the same sentence. I bet those cats will be wearing turtle neck sweaters and snow suits until they graduate after Turner and the boyz get done with them. Kids are gonna be kids but you gotta train them up to be grown men by the time they’re ready to leave the program. I salute coaches around the country playboy because they’ve got their hands full but in my Bart Scott voice, “Can’t Wait!” for college football season to start! Fools and all!! Bring it on playboy!
Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!
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