Why? Cuz It's the Super Bowl!

"Unless you can afford one of these playboy, stay at the crib!"

Everybody has dreams of flossin' in New Orleans this week! Why? Cuz it’s the Super Bowl! Women and men alike are hitting the malls to get the latest gear as we speak homeboy. The beauty, barber and nail shops will be at full tilt by weeks end! Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl! Rim shops all over the South will do 300% more business between Saturday and this Friday! People that live further away will fly in.  Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

Now before everybody runs to the N.O. for what people think is going to be a free-for-all. Let me break down the ground rules, if you will, for gettin' it in at a major event. Why? Cuz I'm Ya Boy and it's the Super Bowl!

Now let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Not everybody will be able to show up and participate in the festivities bruh! Beautiful women, notice that I said the word "BEAUTIFUL" women, will be carte blanche all week at every event! If you're fine enough you won't even need money. Now ladies it’s up to you to determine weather you’re fine enough to make the cut before to head to the Big Easy. I won’t take responsibility for making that decision for you. That's why you gotta have a no man/homegirl in your camp. I'll explain that in a minute! Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

For my bruhs on the other hand, it's not that simple! Let me give it to you straight up with no chaser so that you understand what you're buying before you show up and get your feelings hurt! Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

These young thunder cats don't understand the proper etiquette for attending a major event: Super Bowl, NBA All-Star Game or major Las Vegas fight (Mayweather etc). Take notes fellas if you’re planning to go the Super Bowl this week or for that matter the NBA All-Star Game in a few weeks in Houston.

Rule #1 and the only rule bruh! If you're not ballin' out of control, that means if you don't have pro-athlete, entertainer or major executive money you need to stay at home, the crib, the flat or the double wide homeboy! Like my man Jay-Z said in "Imaginary Players" on his second album: "You beer money, I'm all year money, I'm popping, you ain't got to count it, it's all there money! I never change money 'cause brothers got strange money!" He goes on to say, "I got bail money, XXL money, You got flash now, but time will reveal money!" Please don't come to New Orleans and be that guy he's talkin' about bruh! Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

Events like these aren't for you. They are exclusively for duns that have big money (millionaires) and gorgeous women and here's why. Many of the ladies (groupies) that show up to these events are trying to get chosen. Now most of them don't have a dime but women at these type of events don't need money, they just have to be fine. Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

Unfortunately, young ball players and entertainers have a fetish for beautiful women. So the ladies can show up broke and be just "FINE." If they're not, they'll be standing outside cursing in their southern drawl, "I done bought all these clothes and I can't get in %#*!!?" Hey, I didn't write the rules; I'm just giving you the information before you go down there and make a fool out of yourself. Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

It's going to be celebrities all over town with more money than you can count and they're going to be spending it as fast as the speed of sound. In every club and restaurant the bread will be loose and so will the women if you got the right type of paper. Now how silly will you look when the cover for the party is starting at $300.00 and you've budgeted $1000.00 for the entire week. This isn't a trip for people on budgets. Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

Groupies will be expecting for some millionaire cat to pay for them and their girls to get into the club ($300.00 each to get in, not to mention food and drinks all night) and you think you've got a shot playboy? Not a chance playa. You and your boyz will be standing out front kickin' rocks trying to holler at women that on a normal night you could impress but not this week pimpin'! Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

You can't compete in a room full of multimillionaires (pro athletes and entertainers) and you've got a job, albeit a good job because you were able to get the week off and buy a plane ticket to New Orleans, right? You've got a 401K, a savings account and you even drive a brand new Infinity. Heck, you got a promotion last week that put you over the $100K mark. Around your way you're the big boss but not in New Orleans, SUPER BOWL WEEK! You better reschedule your trip for sometime in mid April bruh. Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

Now you can run down there if you won't to! You gone get embarrassed pulling up in that Chrysler 300 rimmed out! You got boyz tellin' you it looks like a Phantom 'til a Phantom pulls up! You can't even fake it in that new E 550 you just bought as a result of your promotion because these cats ain't playin' out here! Hey, you better be careful because you might even see your OWN girlfriend down there under somebody else’s arm. You better cuff that if you wanna keep it playa! Remember R. Kelly already told you that boyz are "Flirtin'!" So if I were you, I'd stand clear of New Orleans until after the Super Bowl bruh! Why? Cuz it's the Super Bowl!

Now I'm not telling you what I heard playa! I'm telling you what I know! I drove over 600 miles to Atlanta for the Super Bowl back in 2000 just to get it in when I was a single man! Nobody told me the rules before I left home and I spent the entire week standing outside with my face pressed against the glass looking through the window listening to the chick that didn't have a "no" man/homegirl cursing everybody out cuz she couldn't get in either. Why? Cuz it was the Super Bowl!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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