CONFESSIONS

"See what had happen was..."

There is an old ghetto proverb that says, “He that will cheat at play, will cheat you any way.” My mother-n-law always says, “If you’ll lie, you’ll cheat and if you’ll cheat, you’ll steal.” The old whinno's sitting in the vacant lot next to the liquor store was real with it when they said in a drunken voice, “I would like to toast to lying, stealing, cheating and drinking. If you gone to lie, lie for a friend. If you gone steal, steal a heart. If you gone cheat, cheat death and if you gone drink, drink with me. So when you go in there homeboy grab that Wild Irish Rose, that 20/20 or that Thunder Bird and fo cups playa!”

Back in August Lance Armstrong just got tired of lying, stealing and cheating and threw in the towel. When the US Anti-Doping Agency stripped him of his 7 Toure de France titles and all of his awards folks that supported him went crazy. They were screaming from the roof tops, “Lance has been the most tested athlete in the world and has never come up dirty.” You’re exactly right bruh and Barry Bonds never tested positive either but we all knew ole boy was ridin' dirtier than Chamillionaire. When a boy's head and feet grow after he's a fully grown man, he's juicing pimpin'! They never found the bloody knife at O.J.'s crib and the glove didn't fit either but we all knew that dun was guilty. Karma is a monster and that’s why he’s on double secret punishment right now trying to keep some cat named Tiny off of him.

On Monday ole Lance pulled up to an Austin area hotel bumpin’ Usher's “Confessions” as loud as he could to get hyped enough to sit down with Oprah to spill his guts in an interview set to air on Thursday and Friday. All of the clowns that were adamant about this him being innocent have scattered like roaches when the lights come on at this point. True playas and playettes didn’t need a confession because he essentially gave it to us in August when he stopped fighting for his innocence.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Whenever a boy just gives up and says I’m tired of wrestling with you about my innocence and is willing to give up all of the titles, money and his good name he’s guilty bruh. If your company claimed that you were embezzling money but had no proof of it and they’ve been investigating you for 10 years and still keep coming up short. You wouldn’t just give up the fight to clear your name, walk out and give them all of your bread back! Y’all smell that?

What blew me away was seeing how naive people were in supporting this cat because of all of the money that he’s raised for cancer research. Did he raise $500 million for cancer? Absolutely! However, he’s been a fraud in the process! He would never have had the platform to raise that type of bread had he not been a 7 time Toure de France Champion. Nobody would have cared if he’d been some cat named Charlie that survived cancer that never won a race. Sure, he would have been applauded for his efforts just like other folks that have survived cancer. However, he wouldn’t have been able to galvanize people at the same level.

Is $500 million, $500 million? Absolutely! However, Frank Lucas sold heroin to the people of Harlem and then gave turkeys away on Thanksgiving. While I applaud Robin Hood for looking out for the brothers in the projects, he was still a thief. Just because he did something nice with his celebrity doesn’t excuse him from cheating in cycling homeboy even with a confession. The only reason that Nike was able to sell the LIVESTRONG brand was because he won 7 Toure’s and people were inspired by the story. So Nike was unknowingly making money off of a scam too.

Will people forgive him? Sure they will, but this dun is only confessing because it’s a PR move to save whatever rep he's got left. You better believe that he's about to start singing like Prince in 6 inch heels with his butt out and throwing all kind of boyz under the bus! When this cat gets through singing the whole sport of cycling will be in ruins. He's gonna be the only one left standing like Sam Rostein in Casino with a pair of thick glasses.

If he’d never been caught with the loaded pistol and ski mask under the seat after he'd thrown the dope out of the window. He would still be rolling around bumpin’ that MC Breed and Tupac, “I Gotta Get Mine,” sitting on 24’s with LiveStrong plates.

Now do I give a crap if this guy cheated to win 7 bicycle races. Not at all! No more than I care if Barry Bonds or Mark McGuire cheated to hit some freaking home runs. But don't try to tell me that he's a hero for raising money for cancer because he never would have been able to put the Superman tights on if he hadn't been a cheater! Now that we can finally agree that he was merely a fraud and not a hero I'm willing to move on!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport