Car Sick

"Get out of the car if you ain't going where I'm tryin' to go bruh!"

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “If you kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” Old man Mr. Willie that thought he was a coach but had nothing to do with the team would always shout from behind the fence, “You gotta pull your weight son; otherwise it ain’t no sense in you being here.” My dad would really let you know how he felt by saying, “Look here boy! If you ain’t gone play better than that I can stay at home the next time.”

That’s what all the folks on the south side of Chicago are saying every time their homeboy Dwayne Wade steps on the floor now. For the past two seasons this dun has been one of the most inconsistent players in the league. On Monday night Eric Spoelstra finally got tired of it and benched him and Chris Bosh in the fourth quarter of a 104-97 loss to the Utah Jazz for essentially being dull. LeBron played the entire quarter with bench players and almost managed a comeback!

I keep telling boyz that D. Wade is notorious for taking smoke breaks in the middle of the freaking game and cats act like they don't see it. One minute this dun is on fire and the next he’s in the parking lot in the back seat of the ride with his feet kicked up sucking nicotine. He’s so bad that he doesn’t even put the joint out when he goes back on the court. He pulls the old school broke move by laying it down on the sidewalk still burning, run into the corner store and then picks it back up when he comes back out. You know how cats would walk around with the half smoked cigarette in their ear. That’s D. Wade in the 3rd quarter of a game now. Pay close attention to him tonight against Golden State.

Last week he had 23 points in the first half against Indiana and then only took 1 shoot the entire second half playa. When he is playing hard it’s like he’s on the floor playing slam ball. Will somebody please tell me why this dun can’t stay upright? Ima keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! It’s time to trade Dwayne Wade bruh! His skill level is still there but his effort sucks and why keep an expensive player that’s essentially the same player as LeBron? However, LeBron is bigger, stronger, and faster and doesn’t take smoke breaks and will give you 26-8-6 EVERY night.

Now can D. Wade put up 25-30 points on a boy at anytime? Sure, but he can’t give it to you every night! He’s not even close to giving that to you every night. If you put a Blue Man costume on every player on the team, changed all of their numbers around and just watched them play with their salaries in front of you corresponding to the numbers. You’d say, “who is the clown that’s on fire one minute that can’t stay off of his back the next and periodically runs to the parking lot to shoot craps with the neighborhood hustla's? Let’s get rid of him now because he isn’t worth the $17.8 million we’re paying him to give us that.” However, because we know its D. Wade boyz think that it’s blasphemous to say trade in the same sentence because it used to be his team. Well, Hammer pants used to be hot too playboy!

 The Heat are in desperate need a BIG man and I say trade him because he’s gonna keep disappearing on boyz well into the playoffs this year like he did last year. How many times did the trainers and ball boys have to go find that dun in the Eastern Conference Finals? I’d ship him up to Minnesota and get Kevin Love and go to work on the league with that line up.

 Minnesota’s number one priority is to sell tickets bruh not to win a title. It’s freaking Minnesota for crying out loud! So therefore, fans would pay to see Wade playing and his girl Gabrielle sitting court side because they’re tired of seeing Prince, Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis and toothless Alexander O’Neil at the games. That way Wade can take smoke breaks with Alexander in his ’86 Chevette out back and nobody would trip. Now on some real talk, it doesn't matter where they send him as long as they get a legitimate big man for him because Wade ain't worth the bread they're paying him.

See here’s the Heat’s problem, the only cat on the team with the pressure to win is LeBron. The rest of those Joe’s have already achieved more than what they’ve ever set out to achieve. They’re rich, live on South Beach or Star Island somewhere, got a bad chick on their arm and they’ve already won an NBA championship. D. Wade has two rings now so he’s really straight. If he never wins another title nobody would trip or question his legacy because there was no expectation for him to be great. He can essentially shut it down and boyz wouldn’t say a word.

So really LeBron is the only cat in the car that has somewhere to go. That’s why the rest of these duns keep asking King James why he’s speeding and running lights. See everybody else is sight seeing and LeBron is on a major treasure hunt.

If HE never wins another title his legacy would be considered garbage because of the level of expectation that the media as well as the dull, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7 statement that he made at that stupid pep rally when he first signed with the Heat will bury him if he doesn’t win multiple titles. So he's car sick at this point! That’s why you gotta trade D. Wade because there is no sense of urgency with this cat and LeBron is like Benjamin Gates (Nicholas Cage) looking for the National Treasure.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport