Keep It Pushin' (How the Pacers have OFFICIALLY told Roy Hibbert to stay in the ride)

"C'mon dawg! It's like that?"

Margaret Mead, the well-known Anthropologist, once said, “Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive and potentially orderly and constructive.” Steven Pinker, experimental psychologist, gave it to us like this, “There’s a misconception that survival of the fittest means survival of the most aggressive. The adjective ‘Darwinian’ used to refer to ruthless competition; you used to read that in business journals. But that’s not what Darwinian means to a biologist; it’s whatever leads to reproductive success.” Then Cara Delevingne, the fashion model, put it where the goats could get it when she said, “The best therapy is actually the more aggressive kind when they break you open; they unleash you.”

Well playas…it looks like Larry Bird is finally tryin’ to unleash the dragon in Indiana! Ole boy is lookin’ to play fast this upcomin’ season by bein’ aggressive with the rock. He and Frank Vogel said in the final press-conference after a season endin’ loss that kept the Pacers out of the playoffs that they would be lookin’ to play fast in 2015-2016. After takin’ Myles Turner with their first round pick in draft they turned around on Thursday and swooped up Monta Ellis to help keep it pushin’!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! With boyz like Monta Ellis and George Hill in the back court and duns like Paul George and C.J. Myles unloadin’ cannons it’s gonna be fun to watch the Pacers get up and down the floor. Now one thing we won’t see is ole dull Roy Hibbert, better known as “Skittles and Lemonheads” on TheJayGravesReport, gettin’ up and down the floor with them.

Naw playa, Frank and Larry said even before makin’ a single move this off-season that that dun was comin’ off of the bench even if he decided to opt into the $15.5 million that they’ve gotta pay him this year. Enough is enough playboy! Ole boy is so horrible that they’re willin’ to pay that dun to sit.

It’s unfortunate but he doesn’t fit into the plans playa. He doesn’t give them the effort that they need from a boy to play that style of basketball. Yeah, I saw where the big homie David West said that he felt like the Pacers have thrown Roy under the bus but “Skittles and Lemonheads” has thrown himself under the bus.

At 7’2” 290lbs. all they need is effort out of him and he’s just not givin’ it to them. So he just needs to be thankful that his bread is guaranteed. Where else can you make top dollar and not even have to work. That dun needs to invest in some blue and gold ski masks this season and make them a part of his uniform because at $15.5 million he’s robbin’ these boyz blind.

If I were Larry I’d get my bread out of him some type of way bruh. He’d be choreographing the Pacemates routines, changin’ every freakin’ light bulb in the buildin’, usherin’ boyz to their seats, carryin’ the mini chair for Frank to sit on durin’ timeouts etc. For that type of bread he’d be cookin’ the team’s pre-game meals and drivin’ the bus to the airports too. I’d even have that dun manually changin’ the score on the freakin’ scoreboard for giggles and kicks.

"I'm in the buildin' now playa!

Monta Ellis gives the Pacers an edge that they were lackin’ last season. I know boyz don’t want to admit it but Lance Stephenson was the edge that was missin’. Now granted, he was a loose cannon at times but he was the energy that the Pacers surely missed. And let’s keep it real playa, Indiana was the best fit for him but Larry, Frank and PG did him wrong at the end of the 2014 season by slammin’ him publically in those final press-conferences. I would have bounced too. But Indiana was the only place he could be successful because nobody else understands him. They just blew it but now its water under the bridge now and Monta might just be the answer.

Now don’t think that there won’t be some growin’ pains with this cat because ole boy wants the rock more often than not and he ain’t the franchise. PG is the franchise! Let’s be clear on that pimpin’! So the rocks gotta come his way. If he understands that goin’ in or if PG has to sit down with a boy like Red and hang him off of a balcony to understand the rules then it’ll be all good.

Larry’s done a great job on paper durin’ this off-season and now I can’t wait to see these boyz run up and down the floor. And I can’t wait to see Skittles and Lemonheads finally sittin’ in the back seat of the ride because he was told not to get out of the whip. In the past he was expected to get out of the car and help a boy fight in the middle of the street. Now he’ll be strapped in the freakin’ car seat watchin’ and eatin’ all the skittles and lemonheads he wants. Thanks Larry for takin’ all of the frustration away from us before the season even starts. I’m lookin’ for a boy to be Darwinian this year. For all of you simple minded individuals remember that that means ruthless competition or if you're a freakin' biologist it means reproductive success. Either way playboy, boyz around these parts want it. Now stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Put it where the goats could get it: to break it down to its simplest form. To make it easy for a boy to understand. To put it on the ground so that it’s easy to consume.
2) Skittles and Lemonheads: adjective – it’s what I call Roy Hibbert because he’s always sittin’ in the ride eatin’ them when he should be on the floor bangin’ with his teammates. When he plays an entire game and has zero points and 2 freakin’ rebounds at 7’2” 290lbs. it’s ridiculous. So I start several years ago callin’ him Skittles and Lemonheads.
3) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about bruh.
4) Red: noun – character from the movie “The Five Heartbeats” that hung one of his artist off of a balcony for askin’ to see his books. Hilarious!!!
Holla At Ya Boy!
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