Headlights (How the Colts could be on the verge of blowin' an entire season bruh)

"Dang bruh! Where did you come from?"

Fred Allen, the comedian, once said, “A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.” Ruben Santiago-Hudson, the actor, playwright and director, gave it to us like this, “I try to create an environment where it’s okay to make a mistake, though it’s not okay to be confused or come in unprepared. I’m challenging and demanding, but very patient. I don’t tell you how to get there and I don’t show you what to do, though I’ll ask leading questions.” Then James Galway, the famous musician, kept it simple when he spit, “Being unprepared heightens nerves.”

Well playas…the Indianapolis Colts must have been a nervous wreck on Sunday because they were as unprepared as a team could be. They looked every bit of a bunch of cats that hadn’t even been to trainin’ camp! Pagano and Co. ran up to Buffalo and got the brakes beat off of them 27-14! And trust me playa, the score was in no way indicative of the beat down they took by Rex Ryan’s boyz.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Everybody and their baby momma’s momma around Indy have been screamin’ Super Bowl or bust this off-season. How bout these duns showin’ up lookin’ like a football team first! How bout these duns find a run defense second! And how bout the dun in the buildin’ with the loose lips on the Pagano/Grigson situation stop leakin’ foolishness to the press third! How bout showin' some loyalty to their family bruh! My old man always said, "What goes on in my house stays in my house!" Let’s start with those and maybe, just maybe boyz can get back on the skate board this week.

C’mon bruh, they made Tyrod Taylor look like a young Michael Vick out there. Don’t even hate playboy, Vick was a MONSTER down in Atlanta comin’ out of Virginia Tech. Tyrod is a cat that can barely throw the football over his shoulder and he was as efficient as he needed to be goin’ 14/19 for 195 yards and a touchdown. Yeah, Andrew Luck was 26/49 for 243 yards and 2 TD’s but he was a freakin’ deer in headlights for most of the night which resulted in 2 dull picks.

The offensive line looks no better than it did a year ago and the dull run defense is still atrocious. Sure, they only gave up 147 yards on the ground but they were gettin’ gashed! Karlos Williams finished with 6 carries for 56 yards which was 9.7 yards per carry bruh! And Tyrod hit ‘um up for 41 on 9 carries which was 4.6 per touch. You can’t let a boy do that! The Patriots would put up 50 points if you let them gash you like that.

If duns like the Bills are takin’ lunch money and sneakers out of the gate, the Patriots are gonna strip these boyz in my Bernie Mac voice, “Bucket Naked,” like they’re workin’ at Magic City on a Friday night! Let’s be real around here bruh! The Patriots are the team to beat so everything that the Colts do this season is in preparation for playin’ and beatin’ them. No if, ands or buts about it.

The addition of the offensive weaponry in the off-season was outstanding! However, that wasn’t the freakin’ problem! The problem is on the defensive side of the football! Andrew Luck shouldn’t have to go into every freakin’ game thinkin’ that he and his boyz have to put up 35 points just to have a chance at winnin’! That’s completely unacceptable and whatever is goin’ on between Irsay, Pagano and Grigson better get fixed before they blow an entire season actin' like children. Let me ask you boyz one question, who's responsible for signin' players and buildin' a defense? It ain't Pagano playa I'll tell you that!  Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
3) Magic City: noun – the famed strip club in Atlanta where all of the rich and famous ball playas and entertainers hang out.
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