Side Effects (How Steve Sarkisian needs his butt whooped for lyin' to boyz after the fact)

"See what had happened was..."

Bo Bennett, the former U.S. representative from Utah, once said, “For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.” Winston Churchill broke it down like this, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” Then Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, looked a boy square in the eye and shouted, “The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.”

Well playas…unless you’re Steve Sarkisian! This dun is not only lyin’ to himself but he’s lyin’ to anyone willin’ to listen to his foolishness. On Tuesday this cat stood up in front of actual human being media-types and said that he mixed alcohol and medicine on Saturday and that made him act a fool at the USC kick-off event. He not only showed out in front of his players but former players, big time alumni and donors too. Now I’ve already gone in on that dun in the Hot Joint entitled “Mad Dog” a few days ago because he was rollin’ with a “Yes” instead of a “No” man when he got lit!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! The dun was drunk and showed up to an event with more than 2,500 people and showed his entire gluteus maximus bruh! But to stand up on Tuesday and say anything but I’m sorry is crazy to me. Don’t tell me that it was the alcohol mixed with the medicine that made you act a fool. It was the alcohol mixed with your body that made you act a fool. It’s as simple as that!

Now since he can’t handle his liquor or should I say he doesn’t have good enough judgment to know when to drink and when not to drink, he’s bannin’ alcohol completely from the coaches in the locker room. Boyz would usually get a drink in after a win etc. Now ole boy tryin’ to cover his butt is pullin’ the “We’ll never have oil in the joint again” move is killin’ me.

Just say, “Hey bruh…I screwed up on Saturday night. My “No” man was out of town with his old lady so I picked up my “Yes” man and he let me drink the whole gallon of Mad Dog 20/20 and I showed up lit and it was on and poppin’ after that. I’ve got no excuses and Pat Haden (USC Athletic Director) has already told me that if I don’t win at least 11 ball games this year and be in competition for a national title he’s gonna fire me. No ifs, ands or buts about it bruh.”

That’s as real as it gets bruh! Don’t stand up in front of grown mortals and tell them that the medicine and the liquor made you act a fool because I’ve been sellin’ pharmaceuticals for the better part of my adult life. I’ve read thousands of clinical studies and just as many prescribing inserts (PI) and I’ve NEVER seen a side effect listed for cursin’ in front of 2,500 people.

“If you take this drug and get lit it’ll make you curse folks out at the USC kick-off event.” Naw playa, it doesn’t say that and one thing that I do know about drugs and the FDA is that EVERY single symptom that a person has while they’re in the clinical study to get the drug approved whether it is related to the drug or not is added to the PI. That’s why when you see the drug commercials at the end they start rattlin’ off a million side effects because legally it has to be mentioned if a person experienced it. Have you ever heard of a boy sayin’ it may cause you to curse a boy out?

Steve Sarkisian needs his butt whooped for that one and he should be fired not only for showin’ up lit but for showin’ up sober three days later and lyin’ about it. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about bruh and its non-gender specific.
2) Lit: adjective – drunk
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!