Crickets (How Roy Hibbert is gonna have diarrhea once Kobe does decides to holla)

"You really think I care bruh?"

Buddha once said, “With fools, there is no companionship. Rather than to live with men who are selfish, vain, quarrelsome, and obstinate, let a man walk alone.” Richard Whately, the 18^th century rhetorician and logician, gave it to us like this, “A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor’s” Then Bryant McGill, the famous author, shut the buildin’ down when he spit this, “The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places.”

Well playas…Mr. Selfish himself, Kobe “Bean” Bryant, is hidin’ in high places as we speak. Talk about neglectin’ his neighbor’s own good? When the Lakers held a press conference on Wednesday to introduce their three offseason acquisitions, guard Lou Williams, forward Brandon Bass and center Roy Hibbert the normal set of questions were asked. The ultimate and obvious joint was asked too. “Have you heard from Kobe and what advice, wisdom or expectations has ole boy shared with you?” Crickets bruh!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! When I blast Kobe and I usually do, it’s about him bein’ the jerk that NOBODY in the NBA wants to play with. Why? Because he doesn’t know how to treat people. That’s why he’s out there playin’ with the Cosby Kids right now. He’s the veteran superstar and the face of the franchise playboy and he hasn’t even reached out to the new cats on his team. Wheredeydodatat?

This dun is so selfish that he’s probably sittin’ at the crib waitin’ on them to call him because he’s Kobe! Look here playa, when a boy comes to your house you’ve got to welcome him to the crib. You can’t sit up in your bedroom with the door closed and expect for him to come in, walk up the stairs, knock on the door and say high. C’mon bruh! You know better than that!

But because it’s Kobe I’m not surprised! I just wrote a Hot Joint earlier this week entitled “Lil’Ole Me” about how this dun is completely destroyin’ the Lakers just by bein’ himself, a freakin’ jerk that still thinks that he’s the No.1 option that’s 25 years old. And my diehard Mamba fans will call me a hater all day long because I’m the only cat out here in the media that has the guts to say what everybody else is thinkin’. See everybody else doesn’t want to blast him because they’ll get shut down when it comes to interviews with him.

Duns like Stephen A. wanna tell boyz that he just got off of the phone with him in a heartbeat. Well here’s the deal playboy, I could care two dead flies smashed about sittin’ down with Kobe or anybody else for that matter. My job is to give you my opinion of what’s really goin’ on out here and I don’t need to sit down with a boy to tell you that.

Let me put it where the goats can get it for you Kobe. Y’all just picked up a dun that I’ve been callin’ “Skittles and Lemonheads” for the past three years. That’s Roy Hibbert for all of you cats that are unfamiliar with The JayGravesReport. I call him that because he’ll disappear in a minute on a boy durin’ the course of a game. He’ll be sittin’ in the back seat of the ride eatin’ Skittles and Lemonheads while the rest of the team is out there scrappin’ a boy in the middle of the street.

He’s the same cat that has all types of confidence issues. He’s afraid to look a boy in the eye. I’m 5’7” and that dun refused to look me in the eye over the entire 5 seasons that I covered him with the Pacers. Keep in mind bruh that he’s 7’2”! Now if he’s Skittles and Lemonheads and won’t look ME in the eye, he’s gonna have diarrhea when Kobe walks in the door for the first time. And don’t let that dun start talkin’ crazy to him! He’s gonna have a nervous break down and start sheddin’.

For that reason alone Kobe was supposed to holler at him as soon as they made the trade. Yeah, I know that he didn’t want him but who does? However, you’re stuck with him at this point and you’ve got to play Jedi mind tricks with him to get him to produce. It is what it is. But you wouldn’t be dealin’ with this type of foolishness if you weren’t the selfish old man that won’t retire down at the steel mill.

Kobe’s the old cat that’s been at the mill for 40 years that never wants to do what everybody else has to do because in his mind he’s above that. However, he likes to tell everybody how much bread he’s makin’ but won’t do any work. Kobe doesn’t even practice anymore bruh! How bad can team chemistry get when you’ve got a dun that doesn’t practice but will show up from time to time and straight curse everybody on GP?

Here's my diehard Mamba fan screamin’ from the roof tops bruh, “Jay you’re a hater! Plain and simple! Kobe can say and do whatever he wants to do. He’s got 5 rings!” He sure does playa and he didn’t win a single one of them by himself nor did he do it by actin’ a fool with his teammates in the process. Like I keep tellin’ you simple minded individuals, Kobe has played for 8 coaches in LA and he’s only been able to win titles with 1 of them. Phil freakin’ Jackson! Period! And he didn’t let him act a fool and treat his teammates like manure. And that’s the edited version.

So for all you clowns that think that Roy Hibbert, Brandon Bass and Lou Williams should be ridin’ around lookin’ for Kobe’s crib to say hello you’re smokin’ crack and shootin’ heroin under your finger nails. Skittles and Lemonheads is gonna make $15.5 million this year and he can do that with his eyes closed and his legs crossed. He could give a rip about sittin’ down with Kobe and pleasin’ him at this point. And he’s not gonna look at him all season long bruh. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1)      Spit: verb – to say or said

2)      Crickets: noun - silence

3)      Wheredeydodatat: Hood for, “Who does that?”

4)      Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

5)      Let me put it where the goats can get: verb phrase – to break it down into its simplest form. To spoon feed you bruh. To put in on the ground so that you can reach it.

6)      Scrappin: verb – to fight, playin’ hard with desperation

7)      GP: verb – short for general purposes, just because

Holla At Ya Boy!

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