Sourdough (How D. Wade has the nerve to be mad at the Heat cuz he screwed up)

D.Wade: "Where's my bread bruh?"  Riley: "Huh?"

Jeff Cooper, the creator of the “modern technique” of handgun shooting, once said, “A smart man only believes half of what he hears, a wise man knows which half.” Roy H. Williams, the best-selling author, gave it to us like this, “A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether.” Then John C. Maxwell, the well-known author, broke it down like a real O.G. when he said, “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.”

Well playas…D. Wade may be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them but unfortunately he ain’t strong enough to correct them. Ole boy is runnin’ around here pissed because the Heat won’t pay him the bread he thinks he deserves. So his agent is now hollerin’ at boyz in the streets of LA on his behalf. This dun probably made the biggest mistake of his financial life listenin’ to ole dull LeBron last summer and optin’ out of a 2 year deal worth $42 million guaranteed. Then the Heat turned around and signed him for the same 2 years at only $31.1 million. For y’all that’s checkin’, that’s $11 million less playa.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! That $11 million is gone playboy! NOBODY is gonna pay him top dollar. Why? Because everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma knows that his knees are shot. Now if I know that and you know that then every GM and janitor in the business knows that.

When he sat down at the table with LeBron and Bosh in late June/early July to discuss their futures he had the opportunity to tell a boy straight up that I’m not givin’ up jack squat. And that’s the edited version. Right after the Finals last year LeBron talked all of these suckas into optin’ out of their respective deals with the Heat so that they would have cap room knowin’ that he was gonna bounce and both Bosh and Wade fell for that foolishness.

So if D. Wade is pissed off about his bread then he needs to holler at that dun up in Cleveland and quit knockin’ on Pat Riley’s door. LeBron got paid and Bosh really came up with a $118 million deal with the Heat and guess why playa? D. Wade got more than he deserved. Why? Because only a sucka would give up guaranteed bread knowin’ his knees are shot for another cat. If LeBron wanted to opt out that was on him bruh. His knees ain’t shot and he’s LeBron. He was gonna get paid regardless. And Bosh was already lookin’ at an $88 million deal from Houston before LeBron officially took off. So again, why would a boy with mush for knees give up 2 years $42 million for some other cats?

Now these fools are reportin’ the possibility of Wade goin’ to LA to play with Kobe. Now that would have sounded good 7 years ago bruh but not in 2015. That’s like tellin’ me you’ve got front row tickets to see the Bar-Kays, Ashford and Simpson and Confunkshun next week. That would have been impressive in ’78 but not in 2015. Or get this, its 1976 and your homeboy tells you that he’s got tickets and backstage joints to see Parliament Funkadelic, Bootsy Collins and Zapp but the tickets aren’t any good until this October. You’ll see flashes of greatness but they can’t sustain it because they’re old bruh.

It looks good on the marque but you’re only gonna get 25 games out of those duns. Kobe’s already robbin’ you blind without a ski mask makin’ $23.5 million and he won’t play 30 games this year. Sit in the cut and wait for it. The fact that boyz are even sniffin’ around D. Wade’s door tells you that the Buss kids are nuts. So you’re gonna have two old timers on the roster that still think they can play? Good luck with that.

I guess they haven’t seen the way Kobe talks to his teammates huh? So now you’re thinkin’ about bringin’ in a cat from the streets of Chicago that’s already won 3 championships? Can you imagine Kobe talkin’ crazy to D. Wade? Like we used to say back in the day, “Kobe’s gone mess around and get his head peeled!” Then they both will be sittin’ out; Kobe with a concussion and D. Wade with not only knee issues but back problems too. I can’t wait to see how all of this foolishness shakes out and stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 1) Dull: adjective – to be that dude that I have to shake my freakin’ head at when I say your name. When a boy does somethin’ ridiculous and all you can do it shake your head.
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. Whoever I’m talkin’ about.
3) Bread: noun – money
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