Flossin' (Why I don't need to see the Video to tell you Diddy was dead wrong)

"Who me? Not me dawg!"

I was hangin’ out at UCLA and I saw these three cats standin’ on the yard discussin’ the art of human stupidity. As they got deep into conversation Robert A. Heinlein, the science fiction writer, said, “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” Pope John Paul II sat down and said, “Stupidity is a also a gift of God, but one mustn’t misuse it.” Then Chris Lowe, the English musician, stopped girl watchin’ long enough to spit, “Stupidity combined with arrogance and a huge ego will get you a long way.”

Well playas…stupidity combined with arrogance and a huge ego will get yo butt arrested at UCLA. On Monday afternoon Diddy found out the hard way when his ego got the best of him as he watched his son get cursed out by the strength and conditionin’ coach, Sal Alosi, at summer voluntary workouts. Ole boy got into it with Alosi and was later arrested on charges of suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon, a felony I might add and then they added more joints to the menu for him. They hit him with two more counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of makin’ terrorist threats and one count of battery.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Obviously there’s a video tape of the whole joint goin’ down so we don’t even even need to listen to boyz lie about what actually happened. Diddy’s camp is tryin’ to tell boyz that it was self-defense and Sal isn’t sayin’ a word because he doesn’t need to playa. Why? Because he was at work doin’ what he’s supposed to do. Diggin’ it to boyz!

And on some real talk, I don’t need to see the video tape to tell you what happened bruh. First of all, this ain’t little league or like I used to call it, Daddy Ball. Where everybody’s daddy was in the freakin’ way all of the time thinkin’ that their son was a stud and he couldn’t play a lick of ball. This is FBS college football! For all of you simple minded individuals, that’s Big Time College Football playa! That means, why is your daddy at practice in the way? Wheredeydodatat?

I could see if it were Friday before a home game because everybody’s parent show up the night before and roll up to the complex to say hi to the coaches and their kids before they go to the hotel for lock down. But this is “Be great time!” He has no business bein’ on the yard in the way.

Now let me put it where the goats can get it. Justin Combs is a red-shirt junior! That means that he’s been in the program for 4 years. All of the reports say that the dun has only played in a hand full of games in those 4 years. OK, I get it, he was red-shirted his first year so he didn’t play at all. Makes sense. Now for the next two seasons he hasn’t played or rarely gotten some tick. Do you know how bad Sean “Puffy” Combs/Puff Daddy/P.Diddy/Diddy Dirty Money/Diddy’s son has to be not to get any playin’ time at UCLA bruh?

Think about it playboy, his ole man is worth $750 million and he’s not touchin’ the field. If Justin was puttin’ forth ANY effort he would be playin’ because his old man has the resources to donate to the university. BIG TIME!!! C’mon playa, you know how this thing works. Donors/boosters run college athletics and your old man is worth $750 million and you ain’t playin’? That means that you don’t wanna play and don’t have the gonads to tell your old man that you don’t wanna play. You’re just hangin’ out. 

The only kid worse than Justin Combs is Michael Jordan's son. That dun had to walk-on at the University of Illinois! What? Your old man is Jordan from the 6-Time NBA Champs home state Chicago Bulls worth more than a billion dollars and you had to walk-on? Are you kiddin' me? That dun must have been out there lookin' like weird Harold from the Cosby Kids.

Sal Alosi didn’t say a word about or to Diddy’s kid that Diddy doesn’t already know to be true. Diddy just didn’t like that fact that a boy said out loud what he knew to be true. That’s that ego and arrogance we talked about earlier. If you’ve got kids you already know who your kid is before he leaves home every day. Diddy knows that that dun is lazy. He can’t help but to be lazy bruh. He’s got everything.

Understand this playa, 90 percent of the cats on that squad that have the talent to play in the NFL are hungry because they come from nothin’! They’re tryin’ to eat and get out of the ghetto. Even those that aren’t goin ’to the league are just as hungry because gettin’ a degree will get them out of the ghetto. Justin Combs has more in a trust fund than any cat drafted in the top 10 will ever make durin’ his entire NFL career. Diddy bought him a Bentley for his birthday to push on the yard! Do you really think that kid is bustin’ his butt at practice? Diddy knows that he ain’t workin’ hard because he doesn’t have to.

So don’t get mad at the strength and conditionin’ coach for diggin’ in his butt for not workin’. If you’ve ever played college sports or been around any program you would know that the strength and conditionin’ coach is the one cat that is wound up the tightest on the coachin’ staff. So you already know not to push his buttons.

The fact that Diddy thought that he could step to him set the situation on its ear from jump. In Sal’s mind, “Why are you even here talkin’ to me about a dun that ain’t gone play because he’s lazy.” Word is, Sal was on the phone and boyz told him that Diddy was out there and wanted to talk to him. You know he put his ego on his shoulder and said in his mind, “Ima make that dun wait because I can. How many times do you get to pull rank on a cat worth darn near a billion dollars? NEVER! So I’m gonna enjoy this.” Real talk!!

Can you see Sal in his office butt naked with his feet kicked up on the phone. “Tell that fool to wait! His son ain’t $%!* no way! I’ll be with him in a minute!” Then that dun started pickin’ his toes and wippin’ his butt and scratchin’ his private parts. Diddy didn’t like the fact that he was gettin’ the same medicine that he gives boyz all of the time and went off. Sal’s already a short fuse because he’s the strength and conditionin’ coach. Once Diddy got in there and saw that ole boy was way out of his league he picked up the kettlebell and swung it. Then you already know he went classic hood fight line on a boy. “I’ll burn this joint to the ground! You don’t know who you messin’ with!”

See all of that foolishness works in the ghetto but you ain’t in the ghetto on this one bruh and its 2015. He was strapped belly down on a squad car before he got “messin’ with” out of his freakin’ mouth. Save the video tape playa I don’t need to see it. Why? Because whatever’s on it won’t change the fact that Diddy had no business bein’ there in the first place.

His son is a grown man that’s lazy because Diddy crippled him by doin’ everything for him. He got to UCLA on DNA alone and now he’s gotta compete with a bunch of cats that are hungry and he isn’t. It is what it is. The only reason he picked UCLA in the first place was because he’s just like his daddy and wanted to floss in Hollywood. He don’t wanna play ball he just wanna floss in the land of celebrities. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Diggin’ it to boyz: verb – gettin’ in the players butts about puttin’ in the work necessary to be great.
3) Tick: verb – playin’ time
4) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. Whoever I’m talkin’ about.
Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!